Hello faithful readers and welcome to show number four. Before I start I
like to thank the two (Last time I checked) who gave me feed back it really
means something to me that TWO whole people read my work thank you. If you
want to be thanked REVIEW my work this time. If you don't REVIEW it anyway!
OK now that venting crap of my is out of the way on with the show.
We start today's show with our hero's in a white room with a thinner and angry Kain sitting up on a bed with one of his legs broken, and his right arm in a hemlock. He also has his chest bandaged up and has bruise on his face and an eye patch over his left eye. Legato Bluesumers is setting in a chair next to are hero and is eating a hot-dog. We also see Jet setting in a chair on the other side with a big smile because Dominique the Cyclops siting in his lap and is hugging him. If you hadn't guessed it they are in a hospital.
Kain- (pissed) Welcome to the show folks. If you are wondering why am pissed. You are retarded.
Jet- (happily) Oh Kain don't be like that.
Legato- If you want master, I will hunt down all the sacks of crap who this to you, and put them in pain like never experienced before.
Kain- No... and stop me calling that! If you are going to follow us despite my efforts to get rid of you, you call me Kain K-A-I-N. Got it!
Legato- Yes mas... Kain.
Dominique- (playing with Jets hair) You know you aren't being fair to the readers you know.
Jet- (Blushing) Yea we show them all the interviews we got today. (In a making fun kind of way) That way the people at home can feel your pain. He he he. (Now kissing Dominique)
Kain- (even more pissed off) FUCK YOU JET!
Legato- do you wish me to kill him? mas... Kain.
Kain- (Thinking about it)... No who would work the camera then?
Jet- Gee thanx's.
Kain- Now that we wasted most of the time we have let's show you the reader the Gun-oh gun interview's.
Dominique then gets up and Jet after her. She grabs Jet's ass then he walks to the camera and the screen becomes that gray snow for a minute. The screen then cuts to the round Kain that we all know and love. He is standing in the desert standing next to 9 lives.
Kain- Welcome to today's show. Today we well be talking with the Gun-oh guns. Here we have 9 lives, (turns to 9 lives) So 9 lives how do you feel about the Trigun series?
9 lives-...
Kain-...
After five minutes of staring at each other Kain gets pissed. Kain and Jet decides to move on, Kain moves behind 9 lives.
9 lives- (very deep voice) HE HE HE...
Kain- So the RERE can speak.
9 lives then farts with a force so strong it Kain sent flying right though some of the rock's behind him. Kain lands in a cactus field and has a lifeless look on his face. Jet and 9 lives would have noticed if they weren't so busy laughing so hard. The screen cuts away again and this time Kain is now standing next to the long shot in his trademark mask in the same desert background. Kain does his normal open monologue even though he is still pissed at Jet.
Kain- OK let's try this again (turn's to Long shot) So how do you feel about Trigun?
Long shot- mmmfff...mfff mmmff mfff...
Kain- Ummm... Sorry Long shot, but we can't understand you.
Jet- Maybe you should take off that mask thing off.
Kain- Yea if it's not to much trouble.
Long shot- (hastening) MFFF MMMFFF MMMFF...
Kain- we still can't understand you.
Long shot then decides to take off his mask slowly, finally his mask is off.
Kain- (in shock and fear) HOLY SHIT! (Starts to blow chunk's)
Jet- (in shock and fear) JESUS CRIST! (Starts to turn around and runs for it)
Kain- (trying to regain composure) WAIT UP, ASSHOLE (turns to Long shot) I'M SORRY... MY GOD WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU? (Turn's around and runs away)
Long shot, with a censorship sign on his face, is crying. The screen cuts away and Kain is still catching his breath and is now standing next to Dominique the Cyclops. Dominique is staring at Jet in a weird way. Kain does his opening monologue like usual.
Kain- (turns to Dominique) So how do you feel about Trigun?
Dominique then vanishes and reappears next to Jet and her hand is on Jets butt. This scares the shit out of Jet so he falls taking Dominique with him. They both fall on the ground and somehow, in some way are kissing.
Kain- (pissed) HEY, LET'S TRY AND BE PROFFESSIONAL HERE?
Dominique- (to Jet) Wow you're a great kisser.
Jet- (to Dominique) Thanks you're not bad yourself.
Jet and Dominique kiss again; Kain's face is red with embamassment and anger.
Kain- (pissed off!) HEY, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? WE HAVE A SHOW TO DO PEOPLE! GOD YOU PEOPLE JUST MATE, DAMN IT!
Jet and Dominique are still kissing as if Kain wasn't there. Kain finally says Fuck it and leaves. The screen cuts off now Kain is trying his best to keep his cool. Dominique is hanging off of Jet now and Kain does his normal open monologue in front of a warehouse. Kain then walks in the where house Jet follows, inside it's dark and cold, their is a light in the middle and you can see a man playing with string it's Leonov the puppetmaster.
Kain- Ummm... Hello?
Leonov- ...
Kain- Soooo... how do you feel about Trigun?
Leonov- It is good.
Kain- OK ummm... what have you been doing since Trigun ended?
Leonov- (got up and exited) This!
A light shins next to him and we see two puppets: one a man and the other a woman.
Kain- (in surprise) What's "This"?
Leonov- PUPPET PORN!
Kain- Cut the camera off, Jet, just cut the camera off.
The screen cut off and now Kain is standing back stage of a talk show, Kain does his opening monologue.
Kain- We are now waiting for Zazie the Beast.
You can hear the talk show from behind.
The host- So Zazie why are you here?
Zazie- (deep voice) To tell my muffin that I had not been to faithful.
Zazie's girl- Oh no you didn't little man.
Zazie- Yes... yes I did with all six of your friends, AT THE SAME TIME!
Audience- OWWWWWW!
Kain- Jet.
Jet- Kain.
Kain- This is hell, isn't it?
Jet- Maybe.
Kain- I don't think today is a good time for Zazie.
Jet- Or ever.
Just then a chair hit Kain in the head and, the screen is cut off again. This time Kain has an eye patch over his left eye, Kain does the opening monologue and explain the eye. Just then a gust walks up its Rai-Dei the Blade.
Kain- Hello Rai-Dei, let's skip the intros for now and get right into it if you don't mind.
Rai-Dei nods his head to indicate yes, Dominique starts to giggle. Kain does his best to ignore her.
Kain- So how do you feel about Trigun?
Rai-Dei- I love you.
Kain- WHAT?
Dominique and Jet- Ha Ha Ha...
Kain- Why are you laughing, this is not a laughing matter?... You know something spill it.
Dominique- He doesn't know how to speak English. He only knows how to say I love you...
Rai-Dei- (cuts her off) Touch me!
Kain then gets on his knees and start crying.
Kain- Why can't you gave me a break, God! (Sob).
The screen cuts off again and Kain is now standing in front of some stairs leading to a door. Kain does the opening and then walk's down stairs. He opens the door and is greeted by Hoppered the Gauntlet, he is wearing an SNM kind of suit.
Kain- Ahhh, Hi?
Hoppered- (in a stereotype gay voice) Oh Hello and welcome to the house of pain and pleasure. Oh you must be Kain and company here to do my interview.
Kain- Ahhh... Yeah?
Kain starts the interview with Hoppered and finishes it all in one piece. Hoppered informs them that Midvalley the Horn freak and Legato Bluesummers was there. Kain and company escorted by Hoppered to Midvalley room up stairs all you see is a hallway and Kain in the middle.
Kain- behind this door is Midvalley the Horn Freak. Let's see what his doing, shall we.
Kain open's the door and shock hits our hero's face.
Midvalley- What the hell is going on!
Kain- HOLY SHIT!, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GOAT? HEY JET GET OVER HERE AND GET THIS!
Not a minute later you can hear jazz music being played.
Kain- OH SHIT! MOVE IT GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY, AHHHHHHHH. (Kain is blown past the walls and landed on some painful equipment, thanx's to Midvalley trade mark attack.)
Jet and Dominique runs behind him and finds him next to Legato who has no shirt on and nipple clip's on.
Jet- (try to hold in laughter) Damn, your you all right man?
Kain just lays there with a lifeless look on his face; Legato stares at him with amazement.
Legato- (to Jet) Who is this man? Who can stand you to so much pain?
Jet- Ahhhh... Kain.
Legato- Kain, you who can stand so much pain will be my new master!
Jet and Dominique- WHAT?
Kain twitch's to signify he is alive and, the cut off again gray snow then cuts back to the hospital room.
Kain- Well that was my wonderful day.
Jet- I felt kind of bad, so I am paying for the hospital bill. That why he decided to get a liposuction. That is last time I feel guilty!
Kain- Damn straight!
Just then they heard a knock on the door.
Rai-Dei- Touch me... I love you!
Kain- (look's up and start crying) Why me?
Wow where do I come up with this stuff? Next does time Jet and Dominique get on? Well Legato kill anybody? Who Knows? See next time "On Location".
We start today's show with our hero's in a white room with a thinner and angry Kain sitting up on a bed with one of his legs broken, and his right arm in a hemlock. He also has his chest bandaged up and has bruise on his face and an eye patch over his left eye. Legato Bluesumers is setting in a chair next to are hero and is eating a hot-dog. We also see Jet setting in a chair on the other side with a big smile because Dominique the Cyclops siting in his lap and is hugging him. If you hadn't guessed it they are in a hospital.
Kain- (pissed) Welcome to the show folks. If you are wondering why am pissed. You are retarded.
Jet- (happily) Oh Kain don't be like that.
Legato- If you want master, I will hunt down all the sacks of crap who this to you, and put them in pain like never experienced before.
Kain- No... and stop me calling that! If you are going to follow us despite my efforts to get rid of you, you call me Kain K-A-I-N. Got it!
Legato- Yes mas... Kain.
Dominique- (playing with Jets hair) You know you aren't being fair to the readers you know.
Jet- (Blushing) Yea we show them all the interviews we got today. (In a making fun kind of way) That way the people at home can feel your pain. He he he. (Now kissing Dominique)
Kain- (even more pissed off) FUCK YOU JET!
Legato- do you wish me to kill him? mas... Kain.
Kain- (Thinking about it)... No who would work the camera then?
Jet- Gee thanx's.
Kain- Now that we wasted most of the time we have let's show you the reader the Gun-oh gun interview's.
Dominique then gets up and Jet after her. She grabs Jet's ass then he walks to the camera and the screen becomes that gray snow for a minute. The screen then cuts to the round Kain that we all know and love. He is standing in the desert standing next to 9 lives.
Kain- Welcome to today's show. Today we well be talking with the Gun-oh guns. Here we have 9 lives, (turns to 9 lives) So 9 lives how do you feel about the Trigun series?
9 lives-...
Kain-...
After five minutes of staring at each other Kain gets pissed. Kain and Jet decides to move on, Kain moves behind 9 lives.
9 lives- (very deep voice) HE HE HE...
Kain- So the RERE can speak.
9 lives then farts with a force so strong it Kain sent flying right though some of the rock's behind him. Kain lands in a cactus field and has a lifeless look on his face. Jet and 9 lives would have noticed if they weren't so busy laughing so hard. The screen cuts away again and this time Kain is now standing next to the long shot in his trademark mask in the same desert background. Kain does his normal open monologue even though he is still pissed at Jet.
Kain- OK let's try this again (turn's to Long shot) So how do you feel about Trigun?
Long shot- mmmfff...mfff mmmff mfff...
Kain- Ummm... Sorry Long shot, but we can't understand you.
Jet- Maybe you should take off that mask thing off.
Kain- Yea if it's not to much trouble.
Long shot- (hastening) MFFF MMMFFF MMMFF...
Kain- we still can't understand you.
Long shot then decides to take off his mask slowly, finally his mask is off.
Kain- (in shock and fear) HOLY SHIT! (Starts to blow chunk's)
Jet- (in shock and fear) JESUS CRIST! (Starts to turn around and runs for it)
Kain- (trying to regain composure) WAIT UP, ASSHOLE (turns to Long shot) I'M SORRY... MY GOD WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU? (Turn's around and runs away)
Long shot, with a censorship sign on his face, is crying. The screen cuts away and Kain is still catching his breath and is now standing next to Dominique the Cyclops. Dominique is staring at Jet in a weird way. Kain does his opening monologue like usual.
Kain- (turns to Dominique) So how do you feel about Trigun?
Dominique then vanishes and reappears next to Jet and her hand is on Jets butt. This scares the shit out of Jet so he falls taking Dominique with him. They both fall on the ground and somehow, in some way are kissing.
Kain- (pissed) HEY, LET'S TRY AND BE PROFFESSIONAL HERE?
Dominique- (to Jet) Wow you're a great kisser.
Jet- (to Dominique) Thanks you're not bad yourself.
Jet and Dominique kiss again; Kain's face is red with embamassment and anger.
Kain- (pissed off!) HEY, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? WE HAVE A SHOW TO DO PEOPLE! GOD YOU PEOPLE JUST MATE, DAMN IT!
Jet and Dominique are still kissing as if Kain wasn't there. Kain finally says Fuck it and leaves. The screen cuts off now Kain is trying his best to keep his cool. Dominique is hanging off of Jet now and Kain does his normal open monologue in front of a warehouse. Kain then walks in the where house Jet follows, inside it's dark and cold, their is a light in the middle and you can see a man playing with string it's Leonov the puppetmaster.
Kain- Ummm... Hello?
Leonov- ...
Kain- Soooo... how do you feel about Trigun?
Leonov- It is good.
Kain- OK ummm... what have you been doing since Trigun ended?
Leonov- (got up and exited) This!
A light shins next to him and we see two puppets: one a man and the other a woman.
Kain- (in surprise) What's "This"?
Leonov- PUPPET PORN!
Kain- Cut the camera off, Jet, just cut the camera off.
The screen cut off and now Kain is standing back stage of a talk show, Kain does his opening monologue.
Kain- We are now waiting for Zazie the Beast.
You can hear the talk show from behind.
The host- So Zazie why are you here?
Zazie- (deep voice) To tell my muffin that I had not been to faithful.
Zazie's girl- Oh no you didn't little man.
Zazie- Yes... yes I did with all six of your friends, AT THE SAME TIME!
Audience- OWWWWWW!
Kain- Jet.
Jet- Kain.
Kain- This is hell, isn't it?
Jet- Maybe.
Kain- I don't think today is a good time for Zazie.
Jet- Or ever.
Just then a chair hit Kain in the head and, the screen is cut off again. This time Kain has an eye patch over his left eye, Kain does the opening monologue and explain the eye. Just then a gust walks up its Rai-Dei the Blade.
Kain- Hello Rai-Dei, let's skip the intros for now and get right into it if you don't mind.
Rai-Dei nods his head to indicate yes, Dominique starts to giggle. Kain does his best to ignore her.
Kain- So how do you feel about Trigun?
Rai-Dei- I love you.
Kain- WHAT?
Dominique and Jet- Ha Ha Ha...
Kain- Why are you laughing, this is not a laughing matter?... You know something spill it.
Dominique- He doesn't know how to speak English. He only knows how to say I love you...
Rai-Dei- (cuts her off) Touch me!
Kain then gets on his knees and start crying.
Kain- Why can't you gave me a break, God! (Sob).
The screen cuts off again and Kain is now standing in front of some stairs leading to a door. Kain does the opening and then walk's down stairs. He opens the door and is greeted by Hoppered the Gauntlet, he is wearing an SNM kind of suit.
Kain- Ahhh, Hi?
Hoppered- (in a stereotype gay voice) Oh Hello and welcome to the house of pain and pleasure. Oh you must be Kain and company here to do my interview.
Kain- Ahhh... Yeah?
Kain starts the interview with Hoppered and finishes it all in one piece. Hoppered informs them that Midvalley the Horn freak and Legato Bluesummers was there. Kain and company escorted by Hoppered to Midvalley room up stairs all you see is a hallway and Kain in the middle.
Kain- behind this door is Midvalley the Horn Freak. Let's see what his doing, shall we.
Kain open's the door and shock hits our hero's face.
Midvalley- What the hell is going on!
Kain- HOLY SHIT!, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GOAT? HEY JET GET OVER HERE AND GET THIS!
Not a minute later you can hear jazz music being played.
Kain- OH SHIT! MOVE IT GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY, AHHHHHHHH. (Kain is blown past the walls and landed on some painful equipment, thanx's to Midvalley trade mark attack.)
Jet and Dominique runs behind him and finds him next to Legato who has no shirt on and nipple clip's on.
Jet- (try to hold in laughter) Damn, your you all right man?
Kain just lays there with a lifeless look on his face; Legato stares at him with amazement.
Legato- (to Jet) Who is this man? Who can stand you to so much pain?
Jet- Ahhhh... Kain.
Legato- Kain, you who can stand so much pain will be my new master!
Jet and Dominique- WHAT?
Kain twitch's to signify he is alive and, the cut off again gray snow then cuts back to the hospital room.
Kain- Well that was my wonderful day.
Jet- I felt kind of bad, so I am paying for the hospital bill. That why he decided to get a liposuction. That is last time I feel guilty!
Kain- Damn straight!
Just then they heard a knock on the door.
Rai-Dei- Touch me... I love you!
Kain- (look's up and start crying) Why me?
Wow where do I come up with this stuff? Next does time Jet and Dominique get on? Well Legato kill anybody? Who Knows? See next time "On Location".