Of Mice & Morons

A note on the text: Of Mice & Morons takes place approximately one year before the events of TaleSpin's introductory episode, Plunder & Lightning.

I suppose this story was born from the tradition of TaleSpin episodes like It Came from Beneath the Sea Duck... that is, a big load of air pirate hijinks with all the massive doses silliness that only they can bring to the party. Add plenty of Kit to the mix, and I'd say you have the formula for the best TaleSpin stories ever!

Chapter 1

By the time Kit Cloudkicker arrived on the Iron Vulture's bridge, the room was already crowded with nearly the entire air pirate crew. In the short time since he'd joined the pirates, this was yet another first… the Captain had ordered everyone to the bridge for an important announcement. Karnage had been scheming something up all morning in his quarters, and Kit was arguably the most curious about what he had to say.

Don Karnage stood in the very front of the room, next to the Iron Vulture's giant windshield, at a dignifying distance from the others, of course. He had a wand in his hand, and just behind him a map was raised on a tripod stand. With proud composure, he absently picked the tip of the wand with his claw while he somewhat-patiently waited for the crew to assemble. Kit wove and shoved his way to the front of the crowd, and hopped on a stool in the corner alongside the Captain.

Once everyone was gathered, Karnage cleared his throat to get their attention. No one heard him, though, since they were gabbing amongst themselves. So, he cleared his throat louder... and louder.

Finally fed up, he marched over to a nearby lackey and grabbed his pistol.

*BANG!*

A bullet ricocheted off the ceiling, and the whole crowd hit the deck... but at least they were quiet now. Karnage tossed the pistol aside and cleared his throat again, calm and composed.

"Ahem. Now that you are un-dividing your tiny attention spans, I, your illustrious leader, have great plans of new plunder to speak of!"

Karnage paused for effect to allow a murmur of interest to rise among the crowd. Then he walked in from of the map and whipped his wand upon it, pointing to a water straight surrounded by a group of islands. "This, my mangy morons, is Ample Pass!"

Kit tipped a glance at the map questioningly, and also noticed a rolled-up magazine sticking out of Karnage's coat pocket.

The Captain continued, "Now, in your slow, disgusting minds, you are wondering why your cunning commander has chosen Ample Pass as prime plundering grounds! It is all very simple, you see. Thanks to my own in-pecking-able sense of strategy, I have discovered that tomorrow, the famous cruise ship Queen Maureen will be sailing through these very islands, with all its fabulously filthy rich peoples!"

With a fiendish grin, he waited for them to react with cheers... or, at the very least, a round of 'oohs' and 'ahhs' would have done. But they looked at him blankly... a few scratched themselves.

Karnage rolled his eyes and muttered something toward the ceiling. "In other words, you incompetent imbeciles, we are going to rob the rich rubes blinder than a batty beaver!" He swung his wand in the air with a flourish, but it accidently slipped loose and went flying.

"Argh," someone in the crowd yelped. "My eye! My eye!"

The rest soon caught on and cheered with a heavy chorus of "Harr!" Karnage finally seemed pleased.

Kit had slid off his stool and was standing beside the map for a better look at it. Though he wasn't familiar with the particular area, he could tell by the map's color coding that the islands of Ample Pass were very mountainous, and the narrow straight itself didn't allow for much room to fight in.

"At noon tomorrow, the ship will be entering the pass here," Karnage said, pointing to the respective place on the map. "But this pass it shall not pass! Little will they know that at the other side of the channel, the dreaded Iron Vulture will be anchored there, blocking their way! And when they are all shaking in their expensive little booties, realizing there is no hope, that is when we will fly in from behind to-"

"Hey, wait a minute, Captain," Kit absently interrupted. "I think I got a better idea!"

Karnage gave him a scolding look. "Boy, do not be interrupting me when I am scheming my deeds of diabolical-ness!"

"But look! These mountains are high enough to hide the entire ship! If you want an effect, you could wait until they've turned into the pass, and then swing the Iron Vulture over the cliffs so we'll be right on top of them!"

A few pirates muttered in agreement.

"Quiet!" Karnage ordered, waving him off. "When I am needing the mind of a baby-child to tell me how to..." He stopped, and had an enlightened expression appear his face as if a light bulb had gone off over his head. "Uno momento! I am having the most amazing idea! Instead of setting the Iron Vulture on the sea, we will hide it behind the mountains, and when they ship comes, we will swing over the cliffs and be right on top of them!"

The pirates rang out in another enthusiastic belt of "Harr!"

"Gee," Kit said dryly. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Listen and learn, my boy," Karnage said proudly, patting Kit on the head. "Perhaps one day!" Then, to the entire crew, he continued, "And then, men, once we have them cornered, we shall surround their ship with our planes and make the dashing and daring-type boarding that I was born to do!"

Kit had his head tilted, thinking about it. "Wouldn't it make more sense to just lower some ropes and drop in on top of 'em?"

"Boy, what did I just tell you about interrupting—wait, wait!" His face lit up again. "I am not believing this! I am having another moment of sheer ingenious-ment! Instead of planes, we will hover the Iron Vulture over them and drop down on ropes! They will be scared out of their wealthy wits!"

The crew shouted out again, reveling in the thought.

Karnage wiped his brow, as if he was in total awe of himself (which wasn't exactly untrue). "I am telling you... sometimes I feel like I have two brilliant minds!"

Kit smacked his forehead and climbed back on the stool. As he was, he suddenly began to hear a strange squeaking noise coming from somewhere in the room.

*squeak!*

He glanced around, but considering how full the bridge was, couldn't quite follow the sound.

*squeak squeak!*

Karnage had continued speaking, "So be preparing, my men..."

*squeak!*

"...we shall plan our course immediately, and..."

*squeak!*

He stopped, glaring at the crew ferociously. "All right, whoever is making with the annoying squeaking-type noises is about to have his toes tied into tiny, painful knots!"

Everyone looked at one another, shrugging collectively as they tried to guess who the culprit was. They could all still hear it, though:

*squeak squeak!*

Karnage was obviously growing hot under the collar. "Well?"

"But it ain't us, boss!" Mad Dog said.

When he realized it wasn't one of his men, Karnage looked more puzzled than angry. He paused and listened. "Then where...?"

Then Kit spoke up, "Uh, Captain?"

Karnage turned with an angry finger pointing at him. "Are you squeaking?"

"Nuh-uh! But..." He pointed down at the Captain's feet, where a fuzzy brown mouse was climbing on top of his boot, looking up at him. *squeak!*

"A mouse!" Karnage shuddered and kicked the critter clear across the room. Everyone watched it fly and cry out, *squeeeeeeeak!* It bounced off the wall and fell on the ground, stunned and dizzy.

"Which one of you filthy vermin let that filthy vermin in here?" Karnage demanded. "I will not have that thing crawling around my ship!"

"Why?" Kit smirked. "Would the roaches be offended?"

Karnage shot him a warning look that simply read, "Grr."

"Er, sorry."

The mouse had collected itself and took off through the feet of the pirate crew, but just before it crossed the main entryway, it looked back at them all, particularly the person who just gave it a free flying lesson. Kit watched it and could have sworn it gave Karnage a dirty look.

Karnage shook his head, groaning. "What was I saying...?"

"Something about lotsa loot and a cruise ship," Kit said.

"Ah, yes!" At that, Karnage brightened. "The flight to Ample Pass will take one day, so we shall waste no time! Ratchet, get the cranes ready for the ropes! And Scotty, prepare our course!" He rubbed his hands together, thinking about what was to come. "Hee hee! By this time tomorrow, I will have finally struck fear into the hearts of those money-loaded morons!"

He expected another roar from the crew, but to his chagrin, they all fell silent and looked toward the boy.

"Uh... sounds good to me?"

"Harr!"

Once lunchtime came around, Kit was heading toward the galley when he passed by Mad Dog and Dumptruck, who where huddled around a laundry chute. Mad Dog was peering inside of it, while Dumptruck wielded a heavy sledgehammer in his fists.

Kit stopped, blinked, and watched them for a moment. "Um, mind if I ask a question?"

Dumptruck looked at him suspiciously. "What kind of question?"

"Probably a really stupid one, I'll bet."

"Oh!" Dumptruck brightened. "I'm good at those!"

"Ow!" Mad Dog pulled his head from the shaft, clunking his head on the top while he was at it. "It ain't in there," he said.

"What in the world are you guys doing?" asked Kit.

"Der captain wants us to catch der mousey-mousey," Dumptruck answered, while tapping the head of his sledgehammer in his left palm with savage glee.

Kit looked at him like he was insane, though Dumptruck often received such looks from everyone else that he would have never noticed it. "For cryin' out loud, guys, it's just one little mouse. Are you sure two thugs and a thirty-pound hammer are gonna be enough, or should I go get you the dynamite?"

Both pirates suddenly had a bright glint in their eye as if someone had turned on a lamp inside their hollow heads.

"Wait, on second thought, we better not," said Mad Dog. "Remember the last time?"

"Oh, yeah." Dumptruck looked somewhat disappointed. "When our eyebrows went bye-bye."

"I think your brains went bye-bye, too," Kit muttered as he walked away.

While most of the pirates ate their meals in the gigantic main galley, the Captain and a privileged handful of his most trusted mates gathered in a dining room a level above the galley. Don Karnage had just sat down at the head of the long dining table, where the other "regulars" soon followed. Cookie, the short bulldog who was in charge of the meals, had already placed two heaping piles of fresh rolls and steaming bowls of soup on the table before anyone had arrived.

Kit rarely ate in the dining room, unless he sat on a stool by the counter. Other than that, all the seats at the table were spoken for. That time, however, since Mad Dog and Dumptruck were busy elsewhere, he took the opportunity to fill in one of their seats. He jumped in Mad Dog's chair, which was at the corner, next to Karnage and opposite of Gibber and Ratchet.

"And just what do you think you are doing?" Karnage asked him, a bit amused at the boy's boldness.

"Well, eating," Kit grinned. "Besides, if the poor mutt's gotta miss lunch, the least I can do is keep his seat warm for him."

"Ah, generous to a fault," Karnage said. "Just like me!"

On the other end, Hal and a couple others quietly joked about what would happen if Mad Dog walked in to take his seat. "A week of latrine detail says the brat can take him," Hal said.

"Pff, what's the runt gonna do, punch 'im in the ankles?" another asked.

"And the shins," Hal replied. "Don't forget about the shin-kicking factor." The others nodded and agreed.

As the pirates started into their meal, Kit, hungry as any of them, grabbed his spoon and was ready to gobble his share down in record time... but after one sip, he almost turned as green as the concoction in his bowl. "What is this stuff?"

"Cream of spinach, boy," Karnage answered.

"C-cream of what-ach?" Kit watched, somewhat frozen with disgust, as Karnage pleasantly slurped spoonful after spoonful down while occasionally adding salt and pepper.

"Do not be giving me the two big eyes, eat it!" Karnage said.

"It looks like someone already did," Kit muttered to himself. Don Karnage was far from a health-food connoisseur, but he did have eccentric tastes that made themselves evident now and then... that was first made apparent to Kit when he saw the Captain dip a forkful of linguini into a cup of cold cocoa. To imagine the headlines on Ripley's Believe it 'r Don't...

Kit looked at the others, who had already devoured all the rolls on the table, even the crumbs, and were now looking into their soup with the same bewildered loathing Kit did... except for one. Hal was scarfing his portion down so fast that if he wasn't purposely maintaining some level of table manners in front of the Captain, he probably would have dunked his entire fat face in and started gulping it down by the pint.

A walking garbage disposal, Kit thought. "You actually like spinach?" he asked the Captain.

"Mm-hm," he replied, slowly swallowing as to savor every taste. A collective groan quietly rose from everyone else.

Kit closely examined the oddly-textured green slop as he stirred it in its bowl. It looked like pureed grass, and smelled worse. "This stuff looks like it got scraped off the shower walls."

Karnage cringed. "Well, for you, boy, we have two choices."

"Yeah?"

"Eat it or go hungry."

Kit sighed and pushed his bowl away. "I'll wait." Luckily, it was Friday, and that usually meant steak for dinner. Or in other words, real food.

Hal suddenly sat up, groggily, with a splash of green goo dripping down his chin. "It's no use," he quietly said to the others nearest to him. "No matter how fast I try to eat it, I can still... *burp*... taste it."

One by one, the others followed suit, getting too sick to stand another bite. Karnage suddenly realized he was the only one eating, and looked at them all with a raised eyebrow. "Well? What is it?"

"We're fu-ull," they all moaned miserably.

"Then why don't you all vamoose and let me eat in peace, you fooligans?"

At that moment, Cookie came into the room with a covered silver platter in his hands, which he set next to the Captain. As he entered, everyone but Kit at least pretended to resume eating their meal. As short as he was, the stout bulldog chef had a reputation of being a ferocious brawler and overly-sensitive of his food... in all, someone who it was best not to insult.

When he saw Kit had pushed his bowl away, his brow wrinkled into angry, thick folds that made the cub start. "Somethin' wrong with your cream of spinach, kid?"

Kit hesitated. "Uh, well, n-no, not really, I'm just not very hungry right now."

Just then, Gibber, with a devilish grin, leaned over and whispered something in Cookie's ear, which made the chef's eyes widen, then glower at the boy. "Scraped off the shower walls, huh?"

Kit's mouth fell open. "I, uh... I mean., uh... did I say that? No no, what I meant was...!"

"Aw, no need to explain!" Cookie interrupted, acting quite kind and composed as he walked around behind Kit's chair. "No worries! If you don't like Cookie's cookin', I'll just hafta try harder for ya. So tonight, I'll fix you a plate of somethin'... special."

Kit sank in his seat, blushing red as the scarf hanging around his neck. "Oh, tha-that won't be necessarily, really."

"Think nothin' of it," the chef said through clenched teeth. "Nothin' of it at all!"

When he left, all the pirates burst out laughing, and all Kit could do was slump limply over the table and take a deep breath. He did, however, manage to peer up at Gibber with a dirty look. "Thanks a lot, guys... I appreciate it."

"You know, I like that nincompirate!" Karnage said, wiping his eyes. "He is so mean... it's like... a work of art!"

When the snickering had ended, Will the second mate piped up, "Uh, boss, you said something about 'vamoose-ing'?"

"Yes, yes, get lost, will you? In a hurry."

The crew didn't have to wait for a second invitation... they bolted as fast as they could, and in three seconds all that was left of them was a couple of airborne napkins twirling in the wake of their departure like falling leafs.

Only Kit and Gibber stayed; for Gibber, he was usually always within earshot of the Captain, so that wasn't such a surprise he didn't leave. "Well, boy, what about you?" Karnage asked. "Waiting for seconds?"

Kit slouched forward and sighed, resting his chin in his hands. "Naw... food or not, I figure if I'm gonna get a chance to sit here, I might as well take my time."

"Ah, so I see." Karnage tipped a glance at Gibber, half-smiling. The boy obviously thought sitting at the Captain's table was a big deal; subtle hints of enthusiasm like that spoke volumes about his potential as pirate for the history books. In Karnage's mind, he could see it like a vision, the boy growing to be strong, capable, confident, and ultimately the most dangerous and feared pirate of all time... well, the second most, Karnage figured.

"So... what's that?"asked Kit, gestering to the silver platter Cookie brought in.

"My caesar salad, of course," Karnage replied.

Spinach soup and salad. Kit and Gibber exchanged a look that agreed on one thing: the Captain was out of his mind.

As Karnage was finishing his soup, Kit soon grew jittery and bored, and started thinking of the big heist they were planning on pulling tomorrow. "Say Captain, I was just wondering something... there's probably a dozen easier ways we could snatch that cruise ship tomorrow."

"Yes? And the point on your head being...?"

"Well, why go through all the trouble of making it so dramatic?"

"Because, boy, as you will learn, presentation is everything!" The Captain reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the magazine Kit had noticed that morning during the briefing. "Here, take a look-see and see."

Kit blinked as he read the magazine's title: Obscene Wealth, Monthly. "You buy this magazine?"

"Of course not!" Karnage seemed indignant at the very thought. "I would not waste a single penny... I steal it from a blind old lady who owns a paper stand."

"Ah. That sounds more like it."

"Read where I have the page folded."

Kit flipped to the page in question, an article simply-enough entitled, Holiday on the Queen Maureen. As the heading implied, the entire piece was about the famous ocean liner, her cruise schedules, and, of course, a list of reasons why vacationing on the ship was absolutely the most fashionable way to show the tremendous height of one's social status.

Over one particular paragraph, however, it appeared the page had been scratched, like from Karnage's claws. It dealt with the subject of air pirates, and the risk of the ship ever being attacked in international waters. Quoted from the article, Winston James Greenshire, captain of the Queen Maureen, said, "My ship has brought a richly delightful experience to its honorable passengers for the past five years. Frankly, I believe beasts like pirates know very well we will not be intimidated by their villainy, and they have not the gumption to dare approach us."

It took a few minutes for Kit to read through it, but when he was finished, he understood what Karnage meant... and knowing the Captain, he was ever-determined to make tomorrow the darkest day in Captain Greenshire's life. "So this guy's kinda asking for it, huh?"

Don Karnage sat back in his chair, a gleam in his eye just from imagining it. "Should I just say... I am hoping they all brought a change of trousers."

Gibber suddenly looked awful confused, and whispered something into Karnage's ear. "No, I am not telling you what I mean by that," Karnage snapped. "Now shut up and let me eat!"

The Captain removed the cover from the silver platter, revealing the finely-tossed salad he had specially requested. He had just scooped up a bite and was chewing on it when he noticed something he didn't like. "Raisins? I did not ask for no stinking raisins!"

Kit leaned forward for a closer look. Sure enough, there were small, roundish, dark specks scattered on the lettuce... but they didn't look like raisins. "Uh, Captain... I don't think those are raisins."

Karange's eyebrows knitted as he tried to figure it out. "Chocolate chips?"

After taking a quick sniff, Kit leaned back... way back... and gravely shook his head. "Chocolate doesn't smell like that."

Karnage froze as if every cell in his body locked up. His eyes began to water... then suddenly, that same brown mouse burst from his salad, streaked down the table and dropped out of sight.

Karnage spit out what little was left in his mouth, and flew backwards in his chair, rolling head-over-heals on the floor. "Aaaaugghh! Water!" he cried. He got to his feet, gagging and dancing around in a panic as if he had just been poisoned, and was frantically wiping his tongue on his sleeves.

Hearing all the commotion from the distance, several of the pirates rushed to the room to see what was happening.

Gibber quickly handed him a glass of water, which Karnage tipped back like a shot glass, sloshed it around his cheeks, and spit it back out... all over Gibber.

"That...! That...!" Wiping his lips, Karnage was so enraged he could hardly speak. "That thing used my salad to take a... a...!" He was boiling, and shaking like a volcano about to erupt. "Kill that mouse! Find it, you imbeciles, now!"

It was definitely the wrong order to give. In an instant, the clean, organized decor of the dining room was thrown asunder, with chairs, dishes, and nicknacks flying everywhere. The pirates were under the table, ransacking through the cabinets, running into each others' heads... and to think, a number of them didn't even hear about the 'finding the mouse' part.

"No no, stop!" Karnage shouted, realizing his mistake. He quickly ducked when a ballistic leg of fried chicken flew straight for his head. "Stop! I said—wait, where did the estupid chicken come from?"

"Chicken?" Kit chimed from the corner; he was using one of the chairs as cover. "Where? I'm starved!"

"Boy, will you shut u—!" *clunk* Unlike the chicken leg, Karnage never saw the brass candlestick coming... not until it clocked him right between the eyes. "Yeee-oowch!"

"Ooh," Kit cringed, "that's gonna leave a bump."

After staggering around until his eyes uncrossed, Karnage was desperate to regain command of the situation. "I said to stop, you stooges! Cyst and disease at once!"

He leapt up on top of the table to get the crew's attention, but landed his left foot squarely in his caesar salad... he lost his balance, his feet went airborne—so did the salad—and together his head and backside hit the hard, polished surface with a bone-jarring thud.

His plan worked, though... he got the crew's attention. They had frozen silent and were scared to move an inch... well, except for Ratchet, but only because he had a tomato slice to pluck from his eye.

By that time, Dumptruck and Mad Dog had arrived, and were awestruck at the destruction. It looked like the room had been hit by a big tornado.

"What happened?" Mad Dog marveled. Dumptruck was getting the answer from Gibber, and when he returned to Mad Dog, he looked horror-stricken. "Well?" Mad Dog asked impatiently.

"Der mousey happened," Dumptruck gasped. "It must be an evil mousey!"

With a long, drawn-out groan, Karnage started to stir, and slowly, painfully, sat up. A deep, feral growl rose from his throat, prompting everyone to take a fearful step back. Kit had almost piped up to ask if he was all right, but on second thought, chose to stay quietly behind the cover of his chair. It was, after all, the safest place in the room.

"If any of you nail-biting nitwits ever mentions this again," the Captain said slowly but gravely, "I will staple your tails to the ceiling!" He eventually staggered to his feet, but stepped on a leaf of lettuce, slicked with salad dressing, and fell again.

Pirates began to whimper... a few lucky ones standing nearest to the door were able to discreetly make a run for it. The rest were left with Don Karnage and his temper.

Grumbling curses under his breath in Spanish, Karnage managed to sit up again, but to the crew's surprise, that's all he did... just sat there, apparently thinking. "My dining room... and one mouse." He started to giggle; no one knew if it was a sign of relief, or if they should be more frightened. "Hee, all this mess. Hee hee, all this pain. Hee hee ha, and one little mouse!"

As his giggles evolved into all-out laughter, a couple of the other crewmen started to chuckle with him... a bad decision, if there ever was one. "What are you laughing at!" the Captain suddenly barked, scaring them so badly they nearly fell over.

Karnage jumped back on the ground and began to pace furiously around the table. "I am not going to let that mouse make a moron out of me!"

Then, from somewhere in the room, he heard that sound again: *squeak!* *squeak!*

Like a reflex, Karnage drew his sword, absently caressing its sharp edge as he glanced around for the direction of the noise. "You hear that... it is even taunting me..." His eyes narrowed murderously. "Fine for you, my four-legged fool... this is war!"

He turned to Dumptruck and Mad Dog. "You two, stay here and find the mouse! It is still in here, I can smell its filthiness! The rest of you, out! Out out out!" Then to Kit, he ordered, "And you, boy, stay low by the door. Make sure it does not escape!"

Everyone complied, leaving Dumptruck and Mad Dog to do the dirty work; it was a good plan, however, since only two inside the room would be far less chaotic... although, notwithstanding, the pair usually brought plenty of chaos naturally by themselves.

Kit assumed his post at the doorway, and Karnage stood right behind him, anxiously waiting to witness the mouse's demise. A handful of the other pirates also crowded around, rubbernecking from behind the Captain to see what would happen.

Dumptruck still had his sledgehammer in hand, and was wielding it over his head as he glanced around the floor. There was so much debris and broken objects on the ground, it seemed like the mouse could have hid anywhere.

"Listen for the squeak!" Karnage told them. "Follow the squeak!"

The two stood still and listened.

*squeak!*

"There!" Mad Dog suddenly cried, pointing to a nearby oak cabinet. "It's coming from inside there!"

Instantly, as if a bolt of lightning moved him, Dumptruck jumped to the cabinet and swung the sledgehammer down, smashing it into hundreds of pieces.

Karnage nearly turned purple. "Ack! No, smash the mouse, you baboons, not my furniture!"

"Sor-ry," they moaned.

"Well, did you at least hit it?" Karnage wanted to know.

Mad Dog began sorting through the broken pieces, but saw no trace of their foe. "I can't find it, boss! It musta got outta there in a hurry!"

"Where could it be?" Dumptruck wondered aloud. Mad Dog glanced up at him, and had to do a double-take... crawling on the brim of Dumptruck's top hat was the mouse, sniffing about.

"Don't move, and gimme the hammer," Mad Dog said quickly and quietly. "I see it!"

Dumptruck asked no questions, just handed the sledgehammer over. He may have been a fool, but he was a trusting fool, to his credit.

"Now don't move!"

Kit, Karnage, and the others couldn't see the mouse from where they were, and watched with silent (and surprised) bewilderment as Mad Dog swung the sledgehammer over his companion's crown... there was a loud clank, like the sound of metal hitting concrete.

About three seconds later, Dumptruck finally blinked. "Hey! Why'd you mess up my hat for, eh?"

"Because, cement-head, the mouse was on it!"

"Der evil mousey? Ooh, get it off! Get it off!" From there, Dumptruck threw down his hat and broke into an ungraceful, jiggling dance to make sure the critter wasn't clinging onto him. He looked like he was trying to do the rumba at record speed.

Karnage smacked his forehead, running his hand down his face. This was just too embarrassing to watch...

Then, like a blur, the mouse was seen zipping across the floor, until it ran behind an overturned chair. Mad Dog and Dumptruck raced over to it, but when they picked up the chair, the mouse was gone.

A squeak came from the opposite side of the room. "It's over there!" Mad Dog yelled, and off they trampled to the far corner... but again, no mouse.

Another squeak, this time near the same chair again.

"Holy prop-wash, that thing's fast," Kit commented.

"Yes, so I see," Karnage said, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps this mouse is not so estupid..."

Dumptruck frowned. "Oh no... a smart evil mousey!"

"Will you quit whining and just catch it already!" shouted Karnage.

"Hold on, I gotta—wait, I think—yeah! I gotta idea!" Mad Dog said proudly. So the two briefly huddled together, and Mad Dog explained his plan: Dumptruck would take the hammer and stand stationary, and Mad Dog would flush the mouse out toward his direction.

As the others watched them carry out their strategy, Karnage was somewhat pleased. "For once, perhaps they have their brains screwed in right."

Dumptruck stood still near the head of the table, and Mad Dog carefully crawled about the floor, swiping his hand over the debris to startle the mouse into view. When the mouse suddenly appeared and dashed under the table, it seemed like the plan was going to work like a charm.

"Get ready," the scrawny canine said, "it's under the table!"

Dumptruck hoisted the sledgehammer and waited...

The mouse was hiding behind one of the table legs, and Mad Dog crept toward it, about to pounce...

"Hi-ya!" With a warring cry, the mutt lunged under the table, and recklessly darted toward the other end. "Okay! It's coming now!"

As soon as he saw the first sign of movement, Dumptruck swung down with all his might... a loud, echoing *clang* resounded throughout the room... all the onlookers cringed at what kind of gory mess must have laid there.

"Well?" pressed Karnage. "Did you get it?"

Dumptruck slowly stepped back, looking at the sledgehammer regretfully. "Der, sorry dere, Mad Dog."

"Okay, I think we all saw that coming," Kit said. The rest just groaned.

After that, the mouse seemed to have disappeared, and Karnage himself and a few more pirates carefully walked in to find it... what they found, however, was a small hole in the wall, where the mouse had made a clean getaway.