Chapter 2
The mouse might have escaped the dining room, but Don Karnage wasn't about to give up so easily. He had Ratchet dig up the blueprints of the Iron Vulture and find out where the cavity in the wall lead to, and what possible places the mouse had to go from there.
"He could go anywhere from there, boss," was Ratchet's report. "He's small enough to fit through just about anything. It'd be impossible to—"
The fiery glare coming from the Captain's eyes told him that he needed to come up with better news than that, if he valued his elbows.
Ratchet cleared his throat and glanced at the blueprints in his hands again. "Hey, whaddaya know! I think I can pin 'im down to, uh, lessee..." With a pen, he quickly circled six particular areas on the ship. "These places!"
Satisfied with the information, Karnage immediately spread the entire crew into groups and had them go to the sites Ratchet had pointed out.
The Captain joined the search himself, and had the boy, Gibber, Dumptruck, and Ratchet follow him. As for Mad Dog, he was doing relatively well for someone who just had his noggin readjusted with a sledgehammer... he was currently enjoying a nice cat nap in sick bay, with a big block of ice strapped to his head. As Karnage had said of it, "It could have been worse... if he had a brain to damage."
Karnage and company were on deck level three, not very far from the hangar. Ratchet led them to a circular, uncovered shaft that he surmised the mouse could have gone inside.
"It's supposed to be one of the main air shafts for the furnace ventilation," the mechanic explained.
"This?" Karnage asked.
"Yeah, but it was never finished. Not this one, anyway, not even close. So what we got here is a big open pipe, slanting downstairs, with a couple more shafts spillin' into it along the way. The mouse could have easily dropped down from any one of 'em."
Karnage nodded, curtly. "Fine, then. Boy, you're small enough, go down there and look."
"Me?" Kit had come across that particular pipe many times, but crawling inside it didn't seem like the wisest idea in the world. He approached the opening and peered down inside, all of it pitch black, except for a small glint of light where the pipeline ended a story below. "I'm not gonna end up in the furnace, am I?"
"Of course not!" Karnage said, reassuringly. "Would I send you down a dark, mysterious hole without knowing it would be perfectly safe?" Then, aside to Ratchet, he muttered, "Ehm, would he end up in the furnace?"
Ratchet shook his head. "Not a chance."
"Like I say, boy, perfectly safe!" The Captain took a flashlight from Ratchet and handed it to the cub. "Now shoo! And be sure to look good!"
"Well, all right..." Kit climbed inside and lit the flashlight. He was just a few feet inside when, with a yelp, he slid out of their sight! Just as quickly, from the distance, they could hear him shout, "Ya-hoooo!"
"Boy!" Karnage called down. "What is it? Did you find the mouse?"
From the other end, Kit's voice echoed faintly, "No, but what great slide! Can I do it again?"
Exasperated, almost ready to bang his head against wall, Karnage sighed. "And I thought he was the smart one..." All the sudden, he heard that taunting noise again: *squeak squeak!* It was coming right from the pipe!
Karnage perked up like something had bit him. "It is down there!" he cried. "Ratchet, go down and get it!"
"M-me, boss? Maybe you should wait for one of the smaller guys, like..."
Karnage wasn't listening. He grabbed the mechanic by the collar and threw him inside the pipe, headfirst. "Follow that squeak!" he ordered.
"Fine," Ratchet grumbled. It was a painfully tight fit, and he had limited use of his limbs; but, slowly, he was able to worm his way through. Since Kit still had his flashlight, he really had no intention of looking for the mouse in such darkness, but seeing how Karnage wasn't going to have it any other way, he had no choice but to at least make the journey down.
Several minutes later, and halfway through the pipe, the inevitable happened. "Dangit, boss, I'm stuck!"
"Well un-stuck yourself and keep looking!" was the reply from above.
"I can't!"
"Oh, that idiot," Karnage fumed, as he stepped away from the opening. "Can anyone do one thing right around here?"
Kit was back with the group by then, and asked, "Well, no offense, Captain, but it is pretty tight down there. You can go down for yourself, if you wanna see."
"Are you nuts, boy? I would get stuck down there!" He turned to Dumptruck and Gibber, ordering, "You two, get the fooligan out of there somehow. Boy, you come with me. We are going to find that mouse or else!"
Ratchet ended up joining Mad Dog in the infirmary that afternoon. As it came about, Gibber and Dumptruck had not one, but two brilliant ideas to set him loose.
Their first idea was to throw a rope from the bottom of the pipe toward the stuck mechanic, but it became apparent that they needed to tie a weight to the end of the rope to give it enough momentum to reach him. So, they found a part of a scrapped airplane radiator from the hangar (it had blown in half during a dogfight weeks prior), and tied it to the rope. It was a rather heavy piece of metal, but as far as Dumptruck was concerned, he could throw it like a baseball.
The big mastiff wound up and let fly, sending the rope up the pipe... the thing was, it was so dark that Ratchet couldn't see. All he could do was wonder what in the world that loud noise was (the radiator bouncing though the shaft), until it finally hit him in the face.
After being thoroughly cussed out for their genius, Dumptruck and Gibber were forced to think up a cleverer plan. Their second idea should have won them a blue ribbon: they were going to grease him out.
The two went to the galley, explained what they needed to Cookie, and he was generous enough to spare a big, smelly pot of lard grease to use. The problem was, however, the grease was cold and hard. They would have to warm it up if they were ever going to be able to pour it... and did they ever.
When the returned to the pipe, Dumptruck, wearing big oven mitts, came ready with the pot smoking and the grease almost simmering. When they poured it down, they say the labyrinth of the ship's ventilation system carried Ratchet's "Yeeee-aaha-oooow!" down every room and hallway.
The good news was, the grease did work, and he slid out of the pipe. The fur on his backside was expected to grow back within a week.
As the day winded down into evening, Don Karnage still had a problem. Well, three, to be exact. Firstly, it was dinnertime and he'd have to eat at the desk in his cabin since his dining room was in shambles. Secondly, his chief mechanic and one of his best pilots were out of commission, and he still had a big plunder planned in the morning. Thirdly, and most irritating, that blasted mouse was still on the loose.
When Kit entered the galley, almost everyone else was either just sitting down or already eating. It was the usual drill every day: well before each mealtime, based on a rotating schedule, about half a dozen crewmen were mandated to help prepare and fill the two eighty-foot-long benches with enough hot food to feed a small village... which, for this particular crowd, was just enough.
As for Kit, it was one of the best things about joining the pirates: never a hungry moment (unless, perhaps, cream of spinach soup was served for lunch). Dinner was always good and hearty, as apparent by the sheer size and strength of the bigger pirates. Since he had skipped lunch (so did everyone else but Karnage, for that matter), the savory scent of charbroiled steak beckon to him like a sweet perfume.
Just as he was looking for a spot to join in, one of the guys informed him that his supper was already waiting for him.
"Uh-oh," Kit muttered. He had forgotten all about Cookie's 'promise.' Sure enough, at one place on the bench, there was a plate already made, with a chrome lid over it. Dreadfully, he approached it, and even more dreadfully, braved to take off the lid... to his shock, there was a steak. A sirloin steak, to be exact, smothered in gravy, with a side of buttered potatoes.
The warm, pleasant aroma made his mouth water. Jacque, the short Scotish terrier who often worked the helm, sat down beside the boy with his own food, a little curious as to what Kit's surprise was. "I heard you had a run-in with Cookie, huh?"
"I'd call it a misunderstanding," Kit replied. "I thought I was in for it, but this looks great! And it smells great, too." He noticed that Jacque had the exact same thing on his place, sirloin steak and potatoes, the only difference being Jacque's didn't have gravy.
"I dunno, lad," said Jacque, "it doesn't seem like him to me. That heel-biter's got a mean-streak in him like an angry bee."
"Well, maybe he changed his mind," Kit said.
Static began to break through the loudspeakers above, and the Captain's voice came through: "Attention, men. This important announcement is being brought to you by—who else—your admirable leader, Don Karrrnage!"
The crew stopped what they were doing for that moment, and listened.
The message continued: "As you know, we have an intruder in our midst. A very cunning intruder, but he cannot hide forever! I want this mouse caught by tomorrow, before we begin our plundering of the Queen Maureen! Therefor-as-much, the first person to dispose of the wretched rodent will be rewarded a prize... of twenty pieces of gold. Karnage out.
The speakers clicked and the message was over, and the entire galley was buzzing over the prospect of winning the reward.
"Twenty pieces," Jacque marveled. "He must really hate that mouse."
"No kidding," Kit said. At another bench, Sadie and Hacksaw were gibbering in each other's ear, and hurriedly left the galley. "Looks like those two got something in mind already. What about you, you gonna go for it?"
Jacuqe thought about it for a moment, but shook his head. "Watch and see, lad. By this time tomorrow, the infirmary'll be packed heavier than a sack of potatoes."
Kid nodded knowingly. At any rate, the only thing he really cared about was eating his delicious dinner. He cut a piece off and savored the warm tenderness in his mouth... until he noticed something horribly rotten. It was the gravy... it didn't taste like food, but more dirty, grimy even...
Rugby, a thin, yellow-furred canine, came up to them. "Hey Jacque, you hear about Cookie?"
"No, why?"
"Ha! He musta peeved the boss somethin' bad today... someone saw 'im scrapin' all the junk off the walls in the showers. Scraped 'em clean as a bone!"
"*Ptooey*! Oh, yuck!" Kit suddenly spit out his steak, and made a beeline for the nearest bathroom.
"Now what's wrong with him," Rugby wondered. Out of curiosity, he dipped his finger in Kit's 'gravy' and tasted it. "Hey," he brightened, "how'd the runt get a hold of great gravy like this?"
After he finished his dinner, Don Karnage left his quarters, headed for the bridge. Just outside his door, he came across Dumptruck in the hall, who was crouching down, searching the floor.
"And what are you doing?" asked the Captain.
"I thought I saw der evil mousey come this way," the bulky pirate replied.
"Rrreally?" Karnage took a couple careful glances around before he started off again. "Well, catch it, and the reward is yours. But whatever you do, make sure it does not go into my room!"
"Aye aye, Captain!"
When Karnage left, Dumptruck took a moment to scratch his nose and put some serious thought into what the Captain had ordered him... "No mousey in der Captain's room... Ah-ha! I know!"
At once, he galloped to one of the storage rooms. When he came back, he had a big burlap sack full of mousetraps, the age-old kind that snapped a bar down when the critter touched the bait. Figuring that this was one of the best ideas he ever had, he went inside the Captain's room, and one by one, cocked and placed the traps on the floor... that is, all over the floor.
He snorted with laughter when he thought of how pleased Karnage would be that his room was so well protected. "Yesser, der Captain will be so proud of me!"
Perhaps if he had only told the Captain what he had done...
Late that night, after Karnage had finished planning the final touches of the Queen Maureen's big day, he lumbered through the ship toward his room, groggy and grumpy, and was still very annoyed that even with the reward up for grabs, the mouse remained at large.
He needed rest, a solid, good night's sleep; that was the only thing that was going to make him unwind. It was unfortunate that he didn't turn on a light before going into his room... the hull of the Iron Vulture was soon filled with the strangest clatter:
Early the next morning, Kit was awoken by the sound of the Iron Vulture's engines firing to life. That, and the steady click of the anchor being hoisted, meant the ship was going to be airborne within the next five minutes.
Kit jumped out of bed right away and pulled his sweater on. Today was the big day, and he wasn't about to miss a second of the action. Before leaving his berth, he took a good look out his broadside window, and saw the sky was clear as crystal, the sun bright and cheery, and the ocean a perfect hue of deep blue. "Just think," he smirked, "it would've been a great day for a cruise!"
Will, who was in charge of the hangar operations, was having conniptions about Sadie and Hacksaw leaving the ship the previous night with one of the seaplanes, and not yet returning.
"I got three mother-lovin' hours to get all the hangar prepped for Ample Pass," the cigar-chewing fox in the snap-brim fedora bellowed. "And now those two goons are gonna barge in the middle of my work and blotch us all up! Tell you what, when they call in for clearance, you shoot their tails down and tell 'em I said to swim home...!"
In one area, noted by nuts, bolts, tools, and engine parts strewn across the floor, several planes had their hoods open and were undergoing hasty repairs; since Ratchet wasn't there to supervise, things were particularly stressful.
The planes that weren't being repaired were being refueled, and all had yet to be rearmed. For security reasons, it was a necessity for the CT-37s to be fully prepared for engagement first thing in the morning; that way, they were never surprised. Even though Karnage's plans for the Queen Maureen didn't involve the attack planes, their preparation was still mandatory.
After that part was finished, all the craft and equipment still needed to be taxied toward the furthermost parts of the hangar, so the the pirates commencing the "drop" on the cruise ship would have plenty of room to set up. Will had his morning cut out for him.
Kit rushed to the hangar floor and approached him. "Will! What can I do?"
Will momentarily stopped swearing and ranting to address him. "Kid, I want you to go down to storage deck, bring me back every coil of long rope you see. Find a jerk to go with you if you can, it'll save you some trips."
"Ropes, got it!"
"Will!" someone in the distance shouted. "Plane just touched down on the flight deck!"
"These guys better have one gold nugget of a story," the second mate grumbled.
Before he went for the ropes, Kit decided to stick around for a minute to see what kind of fireworks would ignite. A brief siren blared to alert the hangar crew that a plane was coming down from the top fleck deck via the aircraft elevator.
As the seaplane dropped down, Don Karnage, Gibber, and Dumptruck came from the bridge and stood beside Will. When Kit saw them, his eyes widened like saucers. Karnage was walking with a slight limp, and had his tail, ear, and fingers taped up... and those were just the visible parts. Dumptruck, on the other hand, was miserably sporting clamped mousetraps on both hears, his nose, elbows, and tail. Kit didn't know what exactly happened, but his gut feeling was that their appearances were somehow related.
The Captain, for one, was as angry as Will was for the seaplane affecting the crew's schedule, and impatiently waited, with a foot tapping and hands on his waist, to start yelling.
When the plane stopped close in front of them, Sadie burst out of the cockpit door, grinning ear-to-ear. "Anyone catch that mouse yet?"
"Forget the mouse!" Will growled. "Get this plane off my floor! Where the snarf have you two been?!"
"Maswich Village! We got the answer to all our mouse problems!"
Karnage suddenly felt more intrigued than angry. He gestured at Will to quiet down and asked, "What are you meaning? What have you two lame-brains been up to?"
Sadie went around to the rear of the plane and opened the cargo door. Hacksaw followed closely behind him, so giddily high-strung he was clasping his hands and jumping up and down as if he was desperate for a restroom. "Yeah, you'll absolutely love it, Cap'n," he said in his quiet but shrill, cockney-accented voice. "Show 'im show 'im show 'im what we did!"
His curiosity piqued, Karnage went up to the plane to peer inside the dark cargo hold, when he heard: "Meow!"
"You brought—a gato?!"
Before he could even blink, an entire herd of stray felines of all breeds and colors burst out of the plane, knocking him flat on his back.
"No, cats!" replied Sadie. "Ten of 'em!"
The instant Karnage sat up and collected his wits, the last cat, a plump tabby, leapt out and caught traction on stunned Captain's face, sprawling him on the floor again.
For a solid moment, Karnage lie there limply, dusty cat paw prints on him from head to toe, his eyes wide and aimlessly staring at the ceiling as if he couldn't believe what had just happened actually did. "I never thought it was possible," he said. "I have discovered an entire new level of stupidity..."
"Did we win the reward?" Hacksaw asked excitedly.
If the Captain had an "explosion" button, it had just been pushed. He swung his arms and legs like a three-year-old throwing a wild tantrum on the floor, until he somehow managed to spring himself back to his feet, foaming like a mad bull.
Kit plugged his fingers in his ears. "Here we go..."
"You half-wit hairballs!" Karnage seethed, grabbing the two by their ears and knocking their heads together. "Now instead of one mouse, there is one mouse and ten gatos running lose! Could you not find a stinking tiger to bring aboard also?!"
As the two shrank back and rubbed their foreheads, Hacksaw muttered, "See? I told you we should have tried the zoo."
"You both have one hour to get all those gatos off my ship, or I am going to think of something so horrible, so painful, so gruesome—!" In a fit of fury, he grabbed Sadie by his shirt and swung him like a sack of dough clear to the other side of the hangar. "Your toenail clippings will be begging for mercy!"
Kit ducked behind Will, as if he risked getting hit by the next flunky the Captain decided to throw. "Cripes, remind me never to bring home a pet!"
The hour had passed, leaving approximately two more until the Iron Vulture reached Ample Pass. The crew on the bridge reported the airship was flying against a strong headwind, and Don Karnage grew anxious about arriving in enough time. As it was, they would only have an estimated fifteen minutes after reaching their chosen strategic site before the Queen Maureen entered the pass.
Wearily, Karnage paced down the hall leading to his quarters, with the weight of how deplorable events had unfolded in the last twenty-four hours bearing on his mind. He hadn't even seen the mouse all day, and still it was causing him more pain and complication than he ever bargained for.
Despite the chaotic moments, though, nothing had been able to keep the plans for the Queen Maureen's plunder from moving solidly. Barring they merely arrive on time, the day would go down as one of the most publicized raids of the century. Still, though he would never admit it, there was a foreboding, irrational fear looming over his head... suppose somehow, the way his luck had been going lately, the mouse could interfere and ruin his perfect plan. It was quite impossible in every way imaginable, but that just made him all the more uneasy. Oh, how he wanted that mouse dead!
Upon entering his room, he went straight for his bed and threw himself on top of the covers, stretching and sprawling out to relax for a few minutes...
*Meow?*
Well, so much for relaxing. The sound had come from under his bed. Groaning and griping, he abandoned his brief, comfortable retreat and got on the floor to have a look.
"All right, get out of there, you feline-type furball!"
In the darkness, he could see its eyes shining like two pearls. He reached in there to grab it, but had his hand immediately pricked by the cat's claws. "Ow! Why you little—!" Then it hissed fiercely at him, which ticked him off even more. "Do not take that tone with me, you ugly...!"
Almost out of thin air, the fluffy white feline shot out of the shadows, in full attack mode, and clenched onto Karnage's neck with its teeth and claws!
"Aaugh!" he choked. "And ow! Ow ow ow! Get off me!" He rolled around and wrestled with it on the floor, even knocking over a lamp stand, but it was no use... the cat was dug into him like a pin in a cushion.
Hearing all the ruckus from nearby, Kit came flying into the room. "Ohmygosh! What are you doing to that poor cat?!"
"Poor cat?! Help me, you gawking goon!"
"Right!" Kit ran over to him, but then paused. "Um... how exactly?"
"Just get it off!" Karnage impatiently wheezed.
Kit grabbed onto the cat and pulled, which seemed to just aggravated it more and make it cling harder to Karnage's hide.
"I can't! It's tattooed itself to your throat!"
"*cough* Ow! I am—yeowch!—knowing that!"
Kit tried again, yanking with all his might.
"Ouch! Leave my skin attached, boy!"
At that time, Dumptruck rushed in, who had also heard the commotion while mopping the halls (swabbing the decks all morning was his punishment for the mousetrap incident). He still had his mop in hand, and when he saw the chaotic scene, and Karnage frantically calling for help, he jumped right to the cause. "Duh, hold on, Captain! I'll save you!"
Dumptruck took two quick swings at the cat with his mop, but ended up clobbering Karnage in the snout each time. "Oof! Hit the gato, you idiot, not my face!"
Sadie came in, dragging a big back behind him, and seemed pleasantly surprised when he saw everyone. "Hey! You guys found the last cat!—oh, geez, does that hurt?"
Kit ran into the adjoining bathroom (the Captain's own) and came back out with a decorative vase full of water, which he threw all over Karnage and the cat... now soaked, the ferocious feline finally let go, and Sadie quickly moved in to apprehend it. After a blurry typhoon of flying fur, swiping claws, feisty hisses and lots of yelping (the latter from Sadie), he was finally able to nab it and stuff it in the bag.
"There," he panted. When he noticed the boiling glare he was receiving from Karnage (who was also spitting water out of his mouth), his heart nearly jumped to his tonsils. "Oh, um, you'll be g-glad to know, boss, sir," he said, grinning nervously, "th-this is the last of the cats! Eh-heh, yep. I'll just go, uh..." He bolted like a flash before Karnage could have him skinned on the spot.
The Captain slowly stood up, breathing heavily and angrily, rubbing his neck and nose.
"Sorry about that," Kit said. "But it was the only thing I could think of."
"Just get out of my way, boy," he grumbled. Then Dumptruck had Karange's finger against his nose. "And you, you have scrubbing to do! Now move it!"
Both a bit miffed from such a crabby dismissal, Kit and Dumptruck left, quietly muttering amongst themselves about what a grouch the boss was.
After picking up the vase Kit brought out of the bathroom, Karnage trudged over to his big, body-length mirror to check over any blemish done to his fabulous looks. His fur was wet and tangled from the chest up, but that was the extent of the damage. Taking a deep, aggravated breath, he headed toward his bathroom when he noticed he had just stepped in something squishy... and it wasn't the cushiness of the fine rug he was standing on, either.
Looking down, he gasped with disgust. Apparently, Sadie's "last cat" had used his floor for a sandbox. "My... my good rug!" he lamented. "It's ruined!"
*squeak squeak!*
To top it all off, that filthy brown mouse was somewhere close, no doubt watching and reveling in his misery. In his mind, he pictured ever-so-clearly the rodent laughing at him in its squeaky voice. It made his fists clench, his teeth grind... now, more than ever, it was personal. The mouse had to die!