Thanks for the reviews. Short post, but I have a long process I go through with this fic, to ensure I write the characters to the best of my ability. I hope everyone enjoys it!
Anakin balanced his chin on the heel of his hand. The world beyond the smeared cockpit window remained a dark composition of velvet black veined with violet. As the ship labored through space, stars were so near he could almost see their delicate, glowing vibrations.
He was surprised at how simple their beauty was, how easily it could engross the eye…even when the mind was already well-occupied.
Anakin drummed his fingers idly on the shabby armrest, looking away from the magnificent scenery, heart still heavy.
"We're wasting even more time." He grumbled, hitting a fist lightly on the chair. "I could be…"
The frustrated words trailed away in a sigh. He smoothed his hair back.
Force…How long's he been asleep? Am I supposed to do everything?
He glanced over his shoulder at the closed door. Their connection was always present, but the natural shields erected by unconsciousness , combined by the clouding effect of their argument, left his Master mostly shut off from him.
He was partially relieved, able to think freely without worrying what private feelings were intercepted by the attentive probes of Obi-Wan.
But this…absence wasn't comforting.
For all his stern reactions and strictness, Anakin couldn't imagine a day without his teacher. There was an innate goodness to Obi-Wan that the apprentice appreciated, even envied.
I should say something to him. Just so he doesn't stay this way…
He swallowed.
I don't want him to be angry.
I want him to understand.
One of the first things Anakin noted when he became Obi-Wan's student was that the young Jedi was never overly talkative. In conference, he spoke thoughtfully, tone raising seldom above its calm, uniform normalcy.
Even conversing with his closest, oldest friends, Obi-Wan was usually the passive member. His laugh was soft, cloying sound that caressed anyone who heard it.
A sound that had dwindled to a rarity over the past year.
Replayed by a serious, firm line stretching across his mouth, and shadow beneath his eyes.
Anakin yearned to approach his Master about the change, as he did about so many other topics, but he feared the man's judgement.
On Tatooine, he was accustomed to the constant support his mother lovingly gave. The encouraging glint in her chestnut eyes. The warm squeeze of her hand.
He knew, without a scintilla of doubt, Shmi Skywalker would listen to all he needed to say.
They were family. Her lifeblood flowed through him.
Nothing that intimate linked Anakin to Obi-Wan.
If there was true affection within Obi-Wan's soul for his Padawan, it wasn't as instinctive and unconditional.
Obi-Wan, as in every aspect of his controlled existence, had his limits. He would lend an ear to Anakin, yet the boy could never be sure he was actually heard.
Yes, his Master was quiet, reserved, willing to be confided in. But did any of the woes, anxieties, scraps of happiness streaming from Anakin reach him deeply?
Would he ever really allow it?
Anakin cracked his knuckles and sat back.
There was a time, one softly lighted morning, when he had caught a glimmer of hope…
As he emerged from sleep, remnants of his dreams floated up with him. Bits of strange, blurred images that he couldn't identify. In his teenage years, they had grown more frequent, and uninterrupted rest was scarce.
Anakin smiled loosely when the heat of a high sun met his upturned cheek. The night had progressed without a great deal of significant trouble. He felt energized. Prepared to face the tasks of another day.
He opened his eyes, blinking while they adjusted. The room wasn't an elegant space, as some where on wealthier, better planets…
I shouldn't say better. He corrected himself, rubbing his nose with a last yawn. 'Worth isn't measured in credits, but in character'. Anakin smirked after looking at the drab, unraveling drapes and fading carpet. So I should call this character?
He rolled away from the wall and had to stifle a startled gasp.
Obi-Wan's bed had been pushed from the contrary corner to a foot away from Anakin's. The auburn-headed Knight's colorless lashes brushed against his cheeks, chest rising in unsteady sleep.
Anakin shot up. "Master?" He swung his legs around and scooted forward. He laid a hesitant hand on Obi-Wan's arm. "Master, are you alright?"
Obi-Wan grasped the offered hand reflexively. His eyelids lifted. "Ani.."
Anakin's fingers, laced with the Force, checked the man briskly for injury or illness. Thankfully, he was healthy. Relatively. "Master, what's…wrong?"
Obi-Wan propped himself on his elbows, tracks of dried moisture gleaming on his skin. "I must've been tired." Striking eyes focused on Anakin. "It's been difficult lately."
Anakin frowned. "What's been difficult?"
Obi-Wan wiped his mouth. "All these missions. It seems like we've had barely a minute to breathe."
Anakin watched the sluggish movements. "Isn't that how it's meant to be?" He asked.
Obi-Wan smiled, weary lines forming at the corners of his eyes. "It's a vital section of Jedi training. But I'm concerned that while pursuing this specific level, we're neglecting other equally important areas."
The Padawan frowned. "Which areas?"
Obi-Wan massaged his stiff neck, sitting up. "Meditation, general studies…"
Anakin shrugged. He wasn't too upset over the lax in those departments. "I'm learning a lot." He offered.
"That's good, Padawan. I'm certain you are." Obi-Wan answered, without the enthusiasm his protégé displayed. "And I know you far better than I did." Elbows on his knees, he folded his hands. His gaze cut sharply. " I feel like you're too far away from me." He indicated the distance between the sleepcouches with a sweep of his hands. "But I had hoped for this stage of your apprenticeship…" Obi-Wan looked away. "I had hoped for us to be friends."
"But we ARE friends." Anakin insisted.
"I'm glad that you think so." Obi-Wan gripped his shoulder before rising to tidy his bed.
Anakin didn't move. Okay, maybe I don't… Does one friend get to be superior over another? "Master?"
Obi-Wan continued to tuck a sheet. "Yes?"
"Why do you want us to be friends? What's wrong with our relationship now?"
The Knight paused, perching on the bed again, appearing helplessly lethargic. "Nothing, Anakin. You're a wonderful pupil. You have a bright future ahead of you.
"But I would like to be a part, even a small part, of that future. I know of Masters and Padawans who become virtual strangers once Knighthood is attained. It's like those years spent together were purely for teaching purposes. That's not the way it was for Qui-Gon and me." His voice, and eyes, lowered with rough remembrance. "I looked forward to times when I could come to him with my troubles…or victories… as a Knight and later, as a Master with my own apprentice."
Tears were welling in Obi-Wan, and Anakin was taken aback. Not since a brief slip in his defense after Jinn's funeral had he witnessed his Master cry.
And then, it had only been a few, painful seconds. Seeing it that dark night, through the perspective of a scared child, was unnerving.
Seeing it today, as his apprentice, was stomach-wrenching.
"Master." Anakin murmured, wrapping his arms around his mentor's already marginally smaller frame.
A single, rasping sob broke from Obi-Wan. A solitary release.
Then he pulled back. "I'm sorry." He cleared his throat, signs of his surrender to mourning disappearing. "It's still…rather hard to think of. "
Anakin nodded. He could sympathize with that. His mother's saddened face, on the day of their parting, rose in his mind.
"I don't want us to separate that way. And if we continue this exhausting regimen, I think we could." Obi-Wan whispered.
Anakin stared at the ground as the ramifications of their hectic schedule dawned.
"I can't let that happen." Obi-Wan shook his head.
Anakin knew it took an incredible courage for his Master to reveal these feelings, increasing the seriousness of the subject tenfold. "It won't, Master." He swore vehemently.
A weak smile lit Obi-Wan's face. "Then let's go home, Ani. Once this assignment is completed," He sealed his eyes against the gray landscape. "I need to go home."
Anakin was jolted from the reverie by the pilot panel's alert.
The tiny planet hovered in front of their vessel.
"Well, we're here."
*Hopefully, a post will be up in the next week. *