Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything else I use in this fic. Blah blah blah need I say more.
A/N: Assuming you liked the first chapter this chapter should be extra random! And um actually I don't know if its the last I kind of just write what I feel like... hm... maybe chapter three would be cool... I don't know. Let's see how this goes.
"The point is..." Voldemort began but was cut off.
"That you are an evil mass murderer out to kill me in hopes of ruling the world and purifying the wizarding race who has absolutely know sympathy for even his own followers and is the last remaining heir of Salazar Slytherin, and a parsel tongue, and you've killed countless people and you don't understand what love is at all and even though you don't want to admit it the only wizard you have ever feared is Dumbledore..." Harry stopped for a breathe, actually he was mad at everyone right now so he didn't care really about anything he said, even to Voldemort," And..."
"Well, I also fear sponges that live in pineapples under the sea...But that too is beside the point. Will you shut up no wonder I want to kill you!" Voldemort yelled at Harry. Draco came running over to Voldemort and Harry.
"Oh! Oh! Oh! Mr. Dark Lord Sir! I'll kill Harry for you I have some finger nail polish!" Draco said to Voldemort hopefully.
"You school is full of a bunch of idiots! You've got Mr. and Mrs. We're obviously in love with each other but Won't Admit It over there, and Mr. Hi I'm an idiot right in front of me," Voldemort said to Harry.
"And what am I?" Harry said to Voldemort," Mr. I Can't Help But Save the World?"
"No no no...you're more of a Mr. Everyone Tries to Kill Me But For Some Reason They Can't kind of a person," Voldemort said casually.
"And lettme guess your a Mr. I Want to Take Over the World But Its not working kind of guy, right?" Harry asked his evil arch enemy.
"It's not working YET! But it soon will..." Voldemort trailed off.
"Sorry, I may regret bringing this up, but why aren't you trying to kill me...like you normally are?" Harry asked cautiously.
"Oh yes, well I have decided that if I have any chance at all of killing you, which I don't because 'good always prevails over evil' it would be at the very end of your seventh year. So in the mean time I have decided to take on the art of smoothy making and destroy all pineapples! that way there will be no sponge that lives in a pineapple under the sea...and I can finally move on in my life!" Voldemort yelled in triumph.
"No! No! No! Anything! Anything but Spongebob!" Draco sobbed.
"Um... Ron... Hermione? What are you guys doing?" Harry asked, it was getting dark and it was hard to see outside.
"I was right! Aren't I always!" Voldemort yelled.
"Like OH MY GOSH! Look at Ron and Hermione! They're snogging... Ewww... that's gross..." Draco said as he was jumping up and down.
"Draco!" Voldemort began," I am..." Draco cut him off.
"My mom's dad's sister's cousin's uncles' aunt's friend's teacher's government official's taxcollecter's house cleaner's brother's daughter's foreign room mate?" Draco said really fast.
"No! And you wonder why I haven't helped your stupid father get out of Azkaban yet?" Voldemort shouted in rage," I was going to say..."
"That he said that she said that I said that I was like no way?!" Draco asked again, really fast.
"Ahh! You...you...you..." Voldemort stuttered.
"Use your words Voldemort," Hermione said, she and Ron had finally stopped snogging.
"Ten--nine--eight-- seven-- six-- five-- four-- three--two--" Voldemort said slowly trying to retain his anger.
"Blast off!" Draco screamed and ran around as if he had a jet pack on his back.
"Two and a half--"Voldemort countiued,"One-- Draco, you are the biggest idiot I have ever met."
Draco stopped pretending to fly and looked at Voldemort sadly." Do you really think so?"
"Yes, I know so," Voldemort said trying not to explode.
"Oh," Draco started," Well, thank you, thank you very much." And he continued to pretend to fly around.
"Erm... well Voldemort ... is there anything else?" Ron asked bravely.
"I have decided to abandon the smoothy idea, to risky...that Spongebob... therefore I will go back to killing people," Voldemort said.
"What?!" Ron said in shock.
"No no no maybe not killing, but I told you I don't want to kill Harry yet, it'd disappoint too many people. I'm just going to start a national campaign to convert all Harry/Hermione shippers sense I was obviously right." Voldemort said.
"So Voldemort is there a specific date I should be expecting you?" Harry asked carefully.
"Sometime in June, man I feel sorry for you guys," Voldemort said sounding out of breath.
"Yeah, life's tough," Harry said.
"No, that not what I meant Malfoy is driving me crazy," Voldemort said flatly.
At that moment Draco ran over and poured shampoo all over Voldemort head's.
"That's it I'm out of here!" Voldemort screamed and ran off the grounds waving his arms.
"Thanks a lot Draco, I owe you one," Harry said as he watched Voldemort.
"Naw... Voldemort owes me... I washed his hair and I didn't even get a tip.
A/N: And that's it for now! I might write a sequel! Or another chapter, or another version of chapter two! Like instead of Voldemort being all... weird... I could make him evil! And that could be chapter three... whatever you want just let me me know in your review.
I've got to thank Stephen and Chris and Andrew and I think that's it for inspiring some of Draco's lines. So please review it makes me feel warm and fuzzy to know that people love me! Okay...maybe not...but still!
A/N: Assuming you liked the first chapter this chapter should be extra random! And um actually I don't know if its the last I kind of just write what I feel like... hm... maybe chapter three would be cool... I don't know. Let's see how this goes.
"The point is..." Voldemort began but was cut off.
"That you are an evil mass murderer out to kill me in hopes of ruling the world and purifying the wizarding race who has absolutely know sympathy for even his own followers and is the last remaining heir of Salazar Slytherin, and a parsel tongue, and you've killed countless people and you don't understand what love is at all and even though you don't want to admit it the only wizard you have ever feared is Dumbledore..." Harry stopped for a breathe, actually he was mad at everyone right now so he didn't care really about anything he said, even to Voldemort," And..."
"Well, I also fear sponges that live in pineapples under the sea...But that too is beside the point. Will you shut up no wonder I want to kill you!" Voldemort yelled at Harry. Draco came running over to Voldemort and Harry.
"Oh! Oh! Oh! Mr. Dark Lord Sir! I'll kill Harry for you I have some finger nail polish!" Draco said to Voldemort hopefully.
"You school is full of a bunch of idiots! You've got Mr. and Mrs. We're obviously in love with each other but Won't Admit It over there, and Mr. Hi I'm an idiot right in front of me," Voldemort said to Harry.
"And what am I?" Harry said to Voldemort," Mr. I Can't Help But Save the World?"
"No no no...you're more of a Mr. Everyone Tries to Kill Me But For Some Reason They Can't kind of a person," Voldemort said casually.
"And lettme guess your a Mr. I Want to Take Over the World But Its not working kind of guy, right?" Harry asked his evil arch enemy.
"It's not working YET! But it soon will..." Voldemort trailed off.
"Sorry, I may regret bringing this up, but why aren't you trying to kill me...like you normally are?" Harry asked cautiously.
"Oh yes, well I have decided that if I have any chance at all of killing you, which I don't because 'good always prevails over evil' it would be at the very end of your seventh year. So in the mean time I have decided to take on the art of smoothy making and destroy all pineapples! that way there will be no sponge that lives in a pineapple under the sea...and I can finally move on in my life!" Voldemort yelled in triumph.
"No! No! No! Anything! Anything but Spongebob!" Draco sobbed.
"Um... Ron... Hermione? What are you guys doing?" Harry asked, it was getting dark and it was hard to see outside.
"I was right! Aren't I always!" Voldemort yelled.
"Like OH MY GOSH! Look at Ron and Hermione! They're snogging... Ewww... that's gross..." Draco said as he was jumping up and down.
"Draco!" Voldemort began," I am..." Draco cut him off.
"My mom's dad's sister's cousin's uncles' aunt's friend's teacher's government official's taxcollecter's house cleaner's brother's daughter's foreign room mate?" Draco said really fast.
"No! And you wonder why I haven't helped your stupid father get out of Azkaban yet?" Voldemort shouted in rage," I was going to say..."
"That he said that she said that I said that I was like no way?!" Draco asked again, really fast.
"Ahh! You...you...you..." Voldemort stuttered.
"Use your words Voldemort," Hermione said, she and Ron had finally stopped snogging.
"Ten--nine--eight-- seven-- six-- five-- four-- three--two--" Voldemort said slowly trying to retain his anger.
"Blast off!" Draco screamed and ran around as if he had a jet pack on his back.
"Two and a half--"Voldemort countiued,"One-- Draco, you are the biggest idiot I have ever met."
Draco stopped pretending to fly and looked at Voldemort sadly." Do you really think so?"
"Yes, I know so," Voldemort said trying not to explode.
"Oh," Draco started," Well, thank you, thank you very much." And he continued to pretend to fly around.
"Erm... well Voldemort ... is there anything else?" Ron asked bravely.
"I have decided to abandon the smoothy idea, to risky...that Spongebob... therefore I will go back to killing people," Voldemort said.
"What?!" Ron said in shock.
"No no no maybe not killing, but I told you I don't want to kill Harry yet, it'd disappoint too many people. I'm just going to start a national campaign to convert all Harry/Hermione shippers sense I was obviously right." Voldemort said.
"So Voldemort is there a specific date I should be expecting you?" Harry asked carefully.
"Sometime in June, man I feel sorry for you guys," Voldemort said sounding out of breath.
"Yeah, life's tough," Harry said.
"No, that not what I meant Malfoy is driving me crazy," Voldemort said flatly.
At that moment Draco ran over and poured shampoo all over Voldemort head's.
"That's it I'm out of here!" Voldemort screamed and ran off the grounds waving his arms.
"Thanks a lot Draco, I owe you one," Harry said as he watched Voldemort.
"Naw... Voldemort owes me... I washed his hair and I didn't even get a tip.
A/N: And that's it for now! I might write a sequel! Or another chapter, or another version of chapter two! Like instead of Voldemort being all... weird... I could make him evil! And that could be chapter three... whatever you want just let me me know in your review.
I've got to thank Stephen and Chris and Andrew and I think that's it for inspiring some of Draco's lines. So please review it makes me feel warm and fuzzy to know that people love me! Okay...maybe not...but still!