~*Seven*~

Unexpected Love

I opened the door to my room. Stepping on a folded piece of paper. The same type as I had seen before. The one the poem was written on.

I sat down on the edge of my bed. Confusion swamped me. I heard Rose and Ruth leaving. Then walk down the hall. I knew where they were going. I was grateful they didn't come here first.

Of course Ruth thought of me as a catch, I knew that. If I wanted privacy she gave it to me. It was like they needed me. Which I suppose they did.

I looked at the paper again. The same handwriting. Written in pencil.

Cal,

I saw you today.

At least I know you're okay.

You were with her.

I didn't wish to cause a stir.

Can't you see, She's left your pack.

She's fallen deeply for Jack.

I want to see you, Cal.

Even if you think me foul.

Please come to meet with me,

Even if it's just to see,

What you mean to me.

Can't you hear my plea?

In your eyes, I know, I'm just a speck,

But please meet me on the boat deck

You know it's not a sin,

All my love, Catherine.

Catherine. She must have written the first one as well. What do I do? I asked myself over and over. How could I feel anything for trash such as her? But I did, and I do.

Rose, was an arrangement, whom I came to love. But was it possible for me to love someone like Catherine? Someone with no breeding, no money, power. Just a third class ticket and a fatherless daughter.

A knock sounded on the door. "Mr. Hockley?" Lovejoy's voice rang out.

I stuffed the paper into my pocket. "Come in Spicer." I called back.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

I hadn't even noticed, sweat had broken out on my forehead. From the confusion, no doubt. I removed the handkerchief from my pocket.

"N-nothing." I stuttered.

He eyed me suspiciously. "Are you coming to the smoking room, sir?" He asked.

I couldn't think straight. And couldn't find the words to answer him. Finally I shook my head.

"Actually, I'm not feeling to well. I think I'll just lie down." I said.

"You want me to fetch the physician?" He offered.

I shook my head.

He nodded, then left. Closing the door tightly behind him.

I pulled out the paper again. "Meet me on the boat deck." I read aloud.

"God, what do I do?" I asked myself. Speaking softly, though no one was near. I thought back to her beauty. Her eyes which had captured me. Like I could look into her soul. And she into mine.

If she could, I hated to think what she thought of my darkened soul. I wasn't the nicest man in the world. I knew that. But I wanted to be kind to her. A part of me wanted to rush to her, hugging her. Then there was this part of me, that referred to her as trash, steerage, not of my world.

At that moment, I didn't know what to do. I sat thinking for the longest time, before standing and exiting my room.

I went to the deck, walking slowly. Trying to find words to say to her. She wasn't proper, or well-mannered as far as I knew. My thoughts kept going back to her class, instead of her. Never had I been so confused.

"Cal!" I heard a woman's voice. The French accent. I turned to her. She leaned on the port side railing.

I slowly approached her. Holding my head up, in proper posture. Though trying to not make eye contact. What was I doing here? I asked myself. I didn't belong here.

"Hello." I said. I stood at her side now. Leaning on the rail also.

"I didn't think you would show up." She said, smiling. Her smile was so perfect. I had to turn away.

"Listen your poetry is remarkable, but this is impossible." I said, trying to stabilize my voice, but was unsuccessful. Why was I nervous? I didn't know.

She shook her head. "I understand. I only wanted to see you again, before the ship docks. Then I would lose every chance of speaking to you again."

I forced a smile, then went back to looking at the ocean, spraying out under the boat.

I could feel her eyes on me. What was this hold she had on me? I felt her hand on my shoulder. "Is there something wrong, Cal?" She asked softly.

I sighed and shook my head. She replaced her hand on the rail. I sighed again. For once I didn't mind that a third-class passenger had touched me. I didn't think about their filth, only about her touch.

"Where's Rose and Jack?" She asked nonchalantly.

I turned my attention to her. "Rose is not with him!" I tried to restrain my anger.

She nodded, then turned away from me. "Whatever you say, Cal."

We stood silent for a few moments. Several passengers from the third-class passed. I turned my back to them, wishing they couldn't see me.

"Mr. Hockley?"

I turned around. Mr. Andrews stood at the rail beside me, with his notebook.

"Mr. Andrews." I bowed a little. "How are you this afternoon?"

He looked at me in confusion. "It's alright." I mouthed the words to him. He squinted at me, trying to figure out my presence here, no doubt. Finally he turned to leave. I sighed in relief.

The sun was setting behind the ocean. The sky was a beautiful rainbow of colors. Pink, orange, blue, black.

"So where is Melissa's father?" I asked, not looking at her. Only trying to make conversation.

"He passed on. About a year ago." She replied sadly.

I jerked my head up. I wasn't aware she had endured such a loss. "I'm sorry." I said politely.

She waved a hand, silencing me. "It's okay."

"Where is Melissa anyway?" I asked. Looking around the area. The little girl was no where to be seen.

"She's off with a friend, she met just yesterday." She answered.

I nodded. At least someone's voyage had good results so far. Mine hadn't. All it had been was Rose behaving badly, and rudely. Boring ship talk. Meeting a man, whom I now hated. And falling for a third-class woman. Not my idea of the best wedding present. Which really it was, for myself. I laughed out loud accidentally.

"What?" She snapped. A bit angered by my outburst.

"Nothing." I calmed myself. "Where do you live, Catherine?"

"Titanic." She answered.

I rolled my eyes, remembering Dawson had said the same thing. "Don't you have a real home?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I'll get a job in America." She said proudly.

"Is this your first time going there?" I asked, looking at her again. She looked like something from a romantic painting of a woman. Her hair whipping out behind her. Golden in the sunlight. Splendid. Her eyes shown with a great brilliance in the setting sun.

"Yes." She replied simply. "I have no idea, where I'll go, or who I'll meet there. But it's an adventure I know I'll never forget."

She turned smiling at me again. I looked back to the water, not wanting to fall into her more.

"How'd you get on Titanic?" I asked, still trying to raise a good subject for conversation.

"I made dresses." She laughed. "Elegant dresses."

"You're a seamstress?" I asked, a bit appalled.

She nodded. "I love it! Seeing all the fine clothes. Helping to make them. It's fun."

I sighed. A seamstress? Why did I feel this way about a seamstress? My mind thought back to Rose. My fiancé. I had to keep reminding myself of that detail.

I knew I had to get back to the upper decks, before I was found out.

"Look, it was great visiting with you." I said, faking a smile. Out of habit really, because I was actually thrilled that I had had the time to talk to her again. "But, I have to get back up to my people."

She nodded sadly.

"May I escort you back to your cabin?" I offered.

She smiled then nodded.

I held my arm out, allowing her to take hold. But she didn't. She looked at me a moment, then I realized she was not used to these gestures. Finally she did take my arm, though. Leading the way to her cabin. Down a different staircase.

We arrived at her door, too quickly actually. I wanted to stay. But everywhere I went with her. I felt as though I was being followed or watched.

She opened the door then turned back to me. I looked over her shoulder, seeing that no one was in there. Not even Melissa. Who must surely be with her friend still. After all it was not yet dinner time.

"Well thanks for coming." She smiled.

"My pleasure." I took her hand in mine, leaning down to kiss her knuckles.

"I guess this is goodbye." She said, sadly.

I sighed. Then turned to leave, she turned to her room. About to close the door.

"Catherine!" I said, turning to her. I pushed the door open again.

"What is it, Cal?" She asked, a bit surprised by my return.

I placed my hands on her shoulders then, pressed my lips to hers. She pushed me away, staring at me. Almost in awe. She was embarrassed clearly. So was I.

"I'm sorry, that was uncalled for and-" I couldn't finish my sentence. I realized I wasn't sorry.

I took her in my arms again, kissing her deeply. Pushing her back into her room. I pushed the door closed with the heel of my shoe.

She broke the kiss, still in my arms. I ran my hand through her golden-blond hair. "What is it?" I asked.

"Cal, we can't do this. It's just you are who you are…. And I'm just… me… This is impossible. You said that yourself." She said trying to pull from my grasp.

I kissed her again. Then I looked into her eyes. "I don't care. Right now nothing matters, but you."

She smiled, tears in her eyes. She pulled me to the bunk. Her arms around my neck. Mine around her petite waist. She sat down on the edge of the bed, causing me to have to bend over to kiss her.

She slipped her hands under my jacket, sliding it from my shoulders. I did the same to her sweater.

She neatly laid my jacket on the bed. Trying not to damage or wrinkle it. But honestly, I didn't care about the jacket then.

I kissed her again. Acting so unlike me. I wondered if I was me. What had overcome me, I couldn't be certain. It all just seemed right. I yanked the faded cotton dress over her head. Kissing her neck now.

She carefully unbuttoned my vest and shirt. Again laying them carefully on the bed.

"Cal, maybe we really shouldn't be doing this." She spoke softly in my ear.

Down deep I knew she was right, and still I continued. I kicked off my shoes, She unfastened my pants, they fell forgotten to the floor.

I laid atop her. Savoring the feel of her. Forgetting about Rose completely at that moment. I made love to her, as though we were long time lovers. When we weren't even friends.

As I lay there beside her, after the actual act was over. It hit me, what I had just done. I quickly stood and got dressed. She sat up, holding the White Star Line blanket around her.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"I have to get out of here." I replied. I couldn't let anyone know. I had to get to Rose, shower her with gifts, and hopefully clear my guilty conscience.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asked sadly.

I leaned down to her again. "No, okay? You did everything perfectly. I just…. It's just… Look, I can't be here. You know that." I was angry, but not at her, at myself.

"Tell no one about this." I ordered. I pulled my jacket over my shoulders. Pulling out my roll of money. I left some on the little table.

"I don't want your money." She said angrily.

"Remember don't tell anyone." I went to the door.

"But, Cal, will I get to see you again?" She asked desperately. Probably the most difficult words I had ever had to hear. And my reply was even more difficult.

I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry."

She turned away from me, and I raced out into the hallway. Closing the door behind me. Leaning on the wall.

I had to get back to Rose and the rest of my world.