Voyage

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, nothing ever will.

I can feel the wind whipping through my hair as I ran. Faster, faster, faster... The familiar feeling of freedom engulfed me once more. In the background, cheers surrounded me as I neared the finishing line.

Chihiro... Chihiro...

Barely hearing them, I sprinted towards the finishing line. There beyond my destination were my friends and family.

Chihiro... Chihiro...

They were spurring me on although I needed no encouragement. I was going to finish this journey I started on when the gun went off more than an hour ago.

Bokutachi wa shiawase ni naru tame kono tabiji o yuku n da

We travel this road to find happiness

"... And coming in first is Ogino Chihiro!!"

I ran past the ribbon, cutting it with my entrance. I did it! I did it! That triumphant emotion burst through me, filling my veins with throbbing joy. Elation written all over my face, I jogged towards my friends and family to share my victory.

"Chihiro! You did it!"

"Way to go Chi-Chan!"

"You did our school proud!"

"That was amazing! A new record!"

"My daughter! My daughter!..."

hora egao ga totemo niau

See? You look good with a smile on your face

Suddenly, I felt overwhelmed. There were too many people, too many voice, too many...

Iro aseru koto naku yomigaeru hakanaku utsukushiki hibi yo

These beautiful, fragile days are reborn, unfaded

The darkness embraced me, lulling me to sleep. Vaguely in the background I could discern concerned and familiar voices prodding me to awaken. But another voice, one that I couldn't recognize but felt a kinship for, spoke above the bustle and took me back into the arms of slumber.

Sleep Chihiro, you'll need your strength for what is about to happen. Sleep...

I awakened to the chirping of birds outside my room. Blinking to keep the blinding light out for a short while, I opened my eyes to a foreign ceiling. Looking around, I tried to find something familiar to hold onto, but to no avail. From all I could see, I was most definitely in a hospital. Hearing the click of the door, I turned to the other corner of the room. My father peeked inside, relief flooding his visage when he noticed me awake.

"You're up! That's wonderful, everyone was so worried about you! Especially your mother. She was saying that the rain last night was such a bad omen..."

The rest of his rambling faded into the background as he went out in search of the others probably. But one word stood out in my mind the most.

Rain?

Looking out, indeed, it rained so hard that there was an entire sea out there.

"Wow, some kind of rain it must have been, no wonder mom was so worried."

Mabushii umi kogareta kisetsu mo

In the seasons of dazzling burned seas

Yuki no majorita kisetsu mo

And in the season of dancing snowflakes

"Chihiro! You can't imagine how worried I was!"

Mom burst into the room fussing over me the moment she saw I was up. Propping me up against the headboard, she bustled around the room getting me something to drink and asking if I was tired. Noticing her acting more agitated than she used to, I calmly replied that I was fine.

"...And it rained so much you can't imagine how glad I am that it dried up today..."

Dried?

Glancing out the window for the second time that day, I realized that she was right. No sea, no endless body of water, just...

"Mom! Wasn't there a..." But the door opened and in stepped the doctor.

"Miss. Ogino."

Istu datte furikukeba anata ga ita

Whenever I turned around, there you were

"GO AWAY!!!!"

Shouting at the nurses and my parents, I couldn't control the sobs that were wrecking my body.

You're going... you're going...

No I'm not! I'm still young! I have my dreams! Tomorrow! Tomorrow I'll be fine again! I'll be running, feeling the wind, feeling the blood as it courses through my veins!

You're going... you're going...

Crying until my body could take it no longer, I fell into a fitful sleep. No rest would ever be enough.

Bokutachi wa shiawase ni naru tame kono tabiji o yuku n da

We travel this road to find happiness

Chihiro... Chihiro.. wake up.

"Wha-... who are you?"

Peering, I saw no one. Who was that? That voice, it sounded so familiar. Like someone I knew. Like someone I was supposed to know. Like someone I was waiting for.

Turning to the table by my bed, I noticed a pendant lying on the table top. Picking it up, I realized it was my favorite jade pendant.

"Green, like his eyes..."

Startled, my hand came up to cover my mouth. Who was I talking about?

It's been awhile since I've talked like that. When I was younger, mom would be horrified every time I spoke of a him that I knew. He was going to come for me. He was going to save me. He would make sure that I was never lonely again. Each time she would look at me queerly and ask me who he was but I would only shrug and reply that she would know soon enough. After awhile, the thought of him started to fade into memories, and memories faded even deeper into the recesses of my mind simply lying there.

Holding the pendant to my heart, I felt a tug. I have always believed that there was a cord linking me and this pendant. It was more than a memory, more than a belief. It lay somewhere in between the world of dreams and reality. Somewhere only I could find.

Kissing the pendant, the tug became something akin to soft thumping.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Like a promise.

Dare mom minna ienu kizu o tsureta tabibito nan darou

Everyone is a traveler, carrying his own never healing wounds

Walking to my room, I took in the familiar sights. There was my desk, my bed lined up against the wall, my parents even moved the cupboard down. Feeling slightly faint, I leaned against the door frame for support.

Soon.

"No. Not yet."

I refused to give in. But the voice was right. Soon.

"Honey, are you alright?" My mom's worry-filled gaze turned to me, bearing holes through me.

"Yes, yes I'm fine."

Assuring her more than myself, I smiled.

hora egao ga totemo niau

See? You look good with a smile on your face

Being back in my room was a luxury I  never appreciated before. After staying in the hospital for such a long time, I did not realize how much I missed my Cds, or my books, or even that ugly calendar that my father bought for me to write down all the exams that were coming up so I would not forget them.

There's no more use for it.

Curbing that voice, I absently wondered how my parents managed to move my stuff from my room upstairs to the guest room downstairs just so I would not have to trek the long way up. Just like that time.

That time?

Yes, I remember, that time when I was still young and my parents insisted on climbing up that rocky hill. Yes. I was so worried that I would cut myself so I was behind them. How silly I was.

"Chihiro! Look who's here!" Mom's voice wafted in from outside. She sounded excited so it must have been someone she was waiting for.

Lucky her. The person she's waiting for has arrived. What about me?

Nando michi ni mayotta no darou

How many times have I gotten lost?

Lying in bed, I knew I would not have that many chances later on. Life was as such. Humans were given the ability to appreciate only when we realized the transience and the evanescence of life. The other times we spend striving for something always too far away, always out of reach.

Reaching out into the darkness, I saw a pair of eyes gazing back at me.

I'm here. I'm always here.

Stunned into silence, I merely stared until that vision faded away. Who was that? ... Was it him?

Was he here to remind me that I was not alone? Was this dull throbbing in my heart a reminder of the things that I had forgotten about that I never should have?

I'll never know.

Tears leaked out and trickled down my cheeks unchecked as I curled up in a fetal position trying to get warmth from within.

Once again, that voice spoke up inside of me, comforting me as it has always done before.

I'm here. I'm here.

Sono tabi ni atatakai te o

sashinobete kureta no omo anata deshita

Every time the one who extended

his warm helping hand was you

The pain coursed through me deeper and stronger than it has ever done before.

It's time.

I know it too. That voice in my head has never been wrong.

It has been around since I've been told of the news and since then, it has provided me with so much warmth and comfort that I would be at a loss without it. Although that nagging feeling that I should be recognizing it is still around, but I've soon learned to dismiss it. 

It's soon.

"Mom! Dad!"

Shouting for my parents, I grimaced at the spasm that laced through my body. I would not last, I know.

Running to my room, my parents' stricken faces made my heart twist even more than it already was. I did that to them.

It's not your fault.

But...

Love is a choice, not a punishment.

Boku tachi wa kono nagai tabiji no hate ni nani o mou

At the end of this long road, what would we think?

"I love you... I love you... never forget that."

I smiled as I traced the tear tracks on my mother's face. I wanted to memorize her countenance. Each wrinkle, each curl in her hair, every nuance of hers. Gripping my father's hand tightly, I gave him a watery smile. He nodded at me. Good. He understands.

"Chihiro, no, it's too soon." Mom protested.

It's time.

"I must go. I'll wait for you."

The pair of jade eyes flashed through my mind and for the first time I understood. I then spoke with more clarity and certainty than I have ever done before.

"He's waiting for me."

Dare mo minna ai motome samayou tabibito nan darou

Everyone is a traveler, wandering in search of love

Bright light.

I felt as though all the pain, all the burdens were lifted off my shoulders. As the glare lessened and my eyes got accustomed to the change of scenery, I hesitated.

"Chihiro." It was that voice in my head but this time it wasn't disembodied like before.

Grinning, I knew what that meant. He was here.

Turning around to face him, the first thing I saw was his eyes. Slowly morphing into his natural form, I climbed on his back, peering at his jade orbs once more for reassurance. Giving off a growl to give me a warning, he took off.

I can feel the wind whipping through my hair. But this time, this time there was no finishing line, only a beginning waiting for me.

Welcome home Chihiro.

A/N

This wasn't how it was supposed to me. It's very very different in my brain but I can't exactly help how it came out. Please review.