Belonging
Heero: Choices
Part five
A Gundam Wing Fan fiction by Louise Tjandrasjahan
"Nowhere?" his eyes glinting with surprise, Heero repeated after Relena,
dumbfounded. 'But they were getting somewhere', he silently emphasised to
himself. He usually was unable stay in the same room with Relena without arguing
over jobs and swearing to kill her at the end of their regular discussions. They
had, er…different views in regards of their methods of accomplishing their
duties, even though it pointed to the same direction.
They stared at each other for a moment, before finally broke into giggles
and laughter. Relena lost her control first, and Heero followed suit. Gasping
for air, she clutched Heero's arm for support as she was losing her balance and
rolling off the bunk, "The dumbest conversation I've ever had!" She tried to
suppress her giggles, but instead she burst into boisterous laughter, holding
her aching stomach with one hand as she wiped away her tears with the other.
And then something else caught her off guard. The soft rumbles of a male's
voice – it apparently came from the back of his throat - Heero's throat, and he
was struggling to control it. He wasn't successful, though; his effort only
contributed more to his lost of control. His body was doubled over as he tried
to muffle his laughter behind the damp towel that still happened to be in his
hands.
Relena knew she was gaping, but she couldn't help herself. The melodious
tingles of Heero's laughter were too much a surprise for her to bear. It was the
first time they laughed together without pressure, without the need to guard the
distance between them – without resentment or conflicts. And it was also the
first time she saw Heero in relax mood apart of his usual brooding expression.
She had always believed that deep down Heero was a sensitive and wonderful
person, but she didn't even dare to dream that her speculation was true until
now, after she had seen the evidence with her own eyes! And the melody of his
laughter – his real laughter, was beautiful. It filled her mind with a sense of
peace and longing. Longing for the time to stop, leaving the picture forever.
Eventually the laughter died, and the mask of seriousness took
its place on his face once again. Relena almost sighed in
disappointment, but refrained to say anything. Heat warmed her face
however, when she found Heero's eyes looking straight into hers, as if
expecting her to do something. Anything.
Inhaling deeply, she prepared her mental for the inevitable and
imparted gingerly, "You have beautiful laughter. It's very... musical."
She was rewarded with a small, genuine smile. "Ah, I don't know
about myself, but you do."
"Yes?"
"Beautiful. Your laughter."
"Really?" Putting her mass on her knees, she braved herself to
crawl closer to Heero, "Yours sounded like a chiming bell. The church's
bells." Heero didn't answer, but what she had seen in his heavy-lidded
eyes was enough.
A soft giggle escaped her lips as Heero teasingly brushed her
already dried hair aside, but she was not prepared for what Heero did
next. Grabbing her waist, he pulled her down on top of him, his eyes
searching as they stumbled together on top of the cosy bunk. She sucked
a deep breath as she felt Heero's lips sealing hers, brushing them with
feathery touch.
She struggled to free herself from his pinning arm, but she found
her strength was not a match to Heero's. Sighing in pleasure, she
finally gave into her instinct and returned the kiss.
When they finally parted, she was torn between seeking for more
of the heavenly drug and questioning Heero's impulsive behaviour, but
the latter won her logic. "Why did you do that?" she whispered softly
in his ears, her tone dreamy.
"Remains of chocolate," Heero told her impatiently as he dived
into Relena's sweet flavour for more, "Gotta clean it,"
Giggling at the lame reason, Relena decided to return his kisses,
albeit tentatively. It was her first kiss, and unfortunately, unlike
politics and diplomacy, she was embarrassingly as clueless as a
fifteen-year-old on her first date. She had always dreamt of being in
Heero's hand, and she had always kept her first kiss for Heero alone,
or at least for a man she might love, in the future. And she had always
imagined it to be perfect.
However, nervousness seemed to take over her much prided
subtlety, as she finally gave into her instinct, closing her eyes
tightly as she smacked Heero's lips loudly in a short kiss. Berating
herself for the error that she presumably made, she scrambled up, flush
gracing her lovely face.
Avoiding Heero's eyes, she felt like killing herself. It was one
sloppy kiss! She totally forgot all things she had read and planned
about kissing, and she refused to humiliate herself even more by
continuing the kissing session. Who knows what Heero might be thinking
at the moment? She doubted Heero was more experienced than she was, but
one should never take outward appearance for granted. Always
mysterious, he was.
Chewing her lower lip anxiously, she curled her fingers beside
her, clenching her sweatshirt in a handful as she turned her face away,
worriedly waiting for Heero saying something. However, as the sound of
husky breaths travelling to her ears, her curiosity piqued, although
she managed to keep it at bay.
It took only a whisper of her name to break her wall of defences.
"Relena..."
Her face crimson in renewed embarrassment, Relena faced the
source of the low baritone, but her eyes widened as she attempted to
hold her laughter upon witnessing the vision before her.
Heero.
He lay there very still, limbs sprawling around carelessly, eyes
staring unfocusedly on the ceiling. His mouth half opened, he was
breathing roughly in regular intervals - his nose flared with each
breath he took. He looked so sinfully cute with the opening of his garb
widely apart, revealing his well-toned body. He had never been cuter
with his hair tousled and face blushing furiously, shamelessly
admitting his excitement.
"That was..." he continued breathlessly, gulping as he struggled
for the right words, "the best...the first..." then, as if someone had
thrown a bucket of cold water over his head, he snapped out of his
stupor and snarled viciously at her, scrambling up into sitting
position. Then he groaned piteously, so unlike his usual cool self,
"Tell me, Relena. Why do you always have to haunt me even in my waking
time? Sometimes I don't even understand myself anymore."
Smiling, Relena braved herself and approached him carefully,
placing her palm flatly on his cheek as she scooted closer. So this was
his first time, too. She shouldn't have worried too much. A wicked
smile curved her lips as she thought of what would happen when two
inexperienced people got together and experimented. Perhaps even more
excitement? Delight filled her mind as the unfamiliar giddiness
engulfed her as her blue aquamarine eyes settled on his half open
mouth.
"You know what, Heero?" she told him gently as her thumb kneaded
his cheek tenderly, "Sometimes people have to understand their
nightmare first before they understand their dreams."
His lips stretched into a smile, Heero settled his hand on top of
Relena's. Thinking Heero might want her to pull it away, she drew it
gently, but she gasped softly when he restrained her, clutching her
hand so it wouldn't slip away. Instead he twisted her hand and kissed
the upturned palm tenderly, his lips a lingering warmth. Smiling
against her palm, he declared meaningfully, "Definitely a princess'
hand. So soft, and no calluses."
Blushing gloriously, Relena couldn't shake the feeling of
helplessness as she sighed, "I couldn't help it. I rarely do manual
labour, anyway." However, as her embarrassment peaked, she finally
pulled her hand away, snapping at him in tension, "Heero, quit playing!
It's not like you at all!"
Heero squared his shoulders as he looked back into Relena's eyes;
his face grew more serious within seconds. "I don't know," he answered
her unspoken question honestly, his eyes searching. "Tell me."
"How could I tell you? I can't read your mind in any way." Relena
wailed her frustration, flailing her arms as she struggled for a more
appropriate answer. "The kiss...I don't even know if we're doing the
right thing. But it's not wise, I think. Quatre...you know that he
proposed, and I haven't deci..."
"Stop mentioning Quatre's name." Heero's calm remark succeeded in
shutting Relena's mouth, "I know what's happening between the two of
you, but there are only us right now. There's nobody else."
A heavy sigh and an impatient, "I know."
But as much as she wanted to be together with Heero, she had to
choose her path with care. If Heero had acted this way before Quatre
proposed to her, the story would be different. She would gladly succumb
to his every whim, even following him to Hell and back. But like any
other knight in shining armour, he came too late. Even the one little
kiss she had just shared with him was a grave mistake.
"Relena?"
"Mm?"
A gentle kiss sent currents of electricity down her spine, and
before she knew it, she closed her eyes in pleasure once more, a soft
moan escaping her lips as she savoured the simple little act. When she
finally opened her eyes, she found herself staring into the depths of
Heero's cobalt blue eyes, the colour becoming exceptionally bluer with
the sparks she had never witnessed in him before.
"Don't think."
"I didn't think." She objected.
"Yes, you are." Came the smug reply.
From then on, her voice stopped to obey her. The magic of Heero's
intense gaze had numbed her, and both of her hands going limped as
Heero's hands sneaked up and found their ways to her lower jaw, cupping
it gently as his thumbs tilted her face in an angle. Without releasing
her eyes, he settled one knee on the mattress and climbed up the bunk
carefully.
She waited and waited, dare not to breathe as he lowered his face
and brushed her lips with his own testily, experimentally at first. The
kiss was simple and innocent, without the passion that was usually
accompanied by lust. But it contained something precious, which only
they could understand, and yet they couldn't explain by words. They
didn't feel the need to break the moment with words. The quietness felt
just right.
Warmth pooled in the pit of their stomach as they roamed each
other's lips without venturing beyond and after, keeping the action
straightforward and undemanding. Measuring the other's pace as they
heightened their exploration, they waited until the other was
comfortable before proceeding with their moves. Heero nibbled on
Relena's lower lips as she circled her arms around his neck, drawing
him closer. Smiling against his lips, Relena savoured the remaining
taste of chocolate, licking them earnestly.
"Sweet, sweet Heero..." she whispered the words for his ears only,
her smile growing when she caught his puzzled expression.
"Like chocolate?" he finished the sentence for her, drawing soft
giggles from her.
Shushing him, Relena continued her exploration, this time even
bolder. Running the tip of her pink tongue along the barrier of his
teeth, she slipped her hand under his garment, feeling the warmth of
his skin beneath. Sucking a great deal of cold air, Heero kept his eyes
open as he stroke Relena's tongue with his own, thrusting and
intertwining, caressing the velvety wall of her mouth. He groaned
against her lips, as the blood in his veins pulsed wildly, tightening
one fist on her golden tresses. His other hand circled her waist as he
rose to his feet at the same time, bringing her mass up with him.
Guided by instincts, she clung to him desperately while raising
her legs and circling them securely around Heero's waist. Her breath
low and ragged, she locked Heero's neck with her arms, refusing to let
it go as her mouth hungrily sought for his. She never knew kissing
someone felt this good. And she had thought first kiss would usually be
disastrous, even when she planned it.
Relena hated to break the kiss, but she knew somebody had to stop
it before something they might regret in the future happened. Thus, she
pulled away from the kiss albeit reluctantly. She almost smiled and
gazed back wistfully as she noticed longing and disappointment in
Heero's eyes, though she knew he tried to conceal it beneath his cold
exterior. Heero kept their eye contacts as he balanced her mass in his
arms, lifting her up to a slightly higher position than his.
"Again. Relena." her heaving chest and flushing cheeks were
adorably, and her red and swollen lips made him want for more. His
husky command tempted her to submit into her desire, but she shook her
head instead, which was...ironic. Now that she got her dream cradled in
her arms, she could do nothing but let it go.
"No," her answer was firm, but sad.
"Why?"
"Quatre..." she explained, almost inaudible, "It would hurt him. I
have to settle things down first with him."
"You love him."
He had pronounced the words easily, but the intensity in his eyes
almost scared her. It almost made her think he was jealous. But with
Heero, she never knew. Better be cautious than hurt even deeper.
"I'm not lying when I said I don't love him." She sighed,
gingerly playing with Heero's collar, "But..."
"You think he loves you." Heero finished her sentence, his eyes
slightly softened as he spotted the surprise in her eyes. "Yes," he
nodded in confirmation, "He loves you."
Shrugging, Relena pursed her lips as she replied thoughtfully,
"Perhaps, but we never know."
"He hasn't said it yet to you, but he will."
Eyes widened in mild surprise, Relena was slightly baffled as she
asked him back, blurting without much thinking, "Will you?" The moment
she said it was the moment she regretted her decision, feeling very
much an insensitive idiot.
Heero's reaction, on the other hand, bewildered her. She had
predicted him to avoid the matter, but she didn't expect him to
hesitate. Not in her lifetime she dreamt of him considering the matter
of his heart in such a long pause. The old Heero would just shrug it
off, then walked away to maintain his mobile suit without much concern
of his responsibility to deliver the right answer to the sensitive
question. He had matured a lot in the past few years of their
acquaintance.
Lowering Relena carefully on the cold ground, he pushed a strand
of hair away from her face as his lips quivered into an ironic smirk.
Brushing his fingers in feathery trails on her soft skin, he held her
eyes captive as he told her, "I'm not capable of loving someone."
"Oh. Are you not?" her voice a whispery crack as new tears sprang
onto her eyes, blurred her vision of the handsome face before her.
Clutching the material of Heero's garb for support, she attempted to
blink the tears away, willing herself to smile bravely and walk away
untouched by the whole calamity of her love life, but she found herself
too battered, too shattered to put her mask of cheerful formality back
on her persona. The tears refused to obey, gliding freely on her cheeks
one by one. The beads shimmered as the dim light of the chamber
reflected upon them.
But you kissed me...
She had wanted to voice her complaints, but she seemed to be engulfed
by an unidentified and overwhelming emotion as she saw nothing but
emptiness beneath the mask that Heero wore. Sobbing, she looked away -
hot tears stung her skin as they made contact with the stirring cold
air around her. Slowly she wrenched her hands away from him, taking a
step back as she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand, her
body shaking ever so slightly.
Heero: Choices
Part five
A Gundam Wing Fan fiction by Louise Tjandrasjahan
"Nowhere?" his eyes glinting with surprise, Heero repeated after Relena,
dumbfounded. 'But they were getting somewhere', he silently emphasised to
himself. He usually was unable stay in the same room with Relena without arguing
over jobs and swearing to kill her at the end of their regular discussions. They
had, er…different views in regards of their methods of accomplishing their
duties, even though it pointed to the same direction.
They stared at each other for a moment, before finally broke into giggles
and laughter. Relena lost her control first, and Heero followed suit. Gasping
for air, she clutched Heero's arm for support as she was losing her balance and
rolling off the bunk, "The dumbest conversation I've ever had!" She tried to
suppress her giggles, but instead she burst into boisterous laughter, holding
her aching stomach with one hand as she wiped away her tears with the other.
And then something else caught her off guard. The soft rumbles of a male's
voice – it apparently came from the back of his throat - Heero's throat, and he
was struggling to control it. He wasn't successful, though; his effort only
contributed more to his lost of control. His body was doubled over as he tried
to muffle his laughter behind the damp towel that still happened to be in his
hands.
Relena knew she was gaping, but she couldn't help herself. The melodious
tingles of Heero's laughter were too much a surprise for her to bear. It was the
first time they laughed together without pressure, without the need to guard the
distance between them – without resentment or conflicts. And it was also the
first time she saw Heero in relax mood apart of his usual brooding expression.
She had always believed that deep down Heero was a sensitive and wonderful
person, but she didn't even dare to dream that her speculation was true until
now, after she had seen the evidence with her own eyes! And the melody of his
laughter – his real laughter, was beautiful. It filled her mind with a sense of
peace and longing. Longing for the time to stop, leaving the picture forever.
Eventually the laughter died, and the mask of seriousness took
its place on his face once again. Relena almost sighed in
disappointment, but refrained to say anything. Heat warmed her face
however, when she found Heero's eyes looking straight into hers, as if
expecting her to do something. Anything.
Inhaling deeply, she prepared her mental for the inevitable and
imparted gingerly, "You have beautiful laughter. It's very... musical."
She was rewarded with a small, genuine smile. "Ah, I don't know
about myself, but you do."
"Yes?"
"Beautiful. Your laughter."
"Really?" Putting her mass on her knees, she braved herself to
crawl closer to Heero, "Yours sounded like a chiming bell. The church's
bells." Heero didn't answer, but what she had seen in his heavy-lidded
eyes was enough.
A soft giggle escaped her lips as Heero teasingly brushed her
already dried hair aside, but she was not prepared for what Heero did
next. Grabbing her waist, he pulled her down on top of him, his eyes
searching as they stumbled together on top of the cosy bunk. She sucked
a deep breath as she felt Heero's lips sealing hers, brushing them with
feathery touch.
She struggled to free herself from his pinning arm, but she found
her strength was not a match to Heero's. Sighing in pleasure, she
finally gave into her instinct and returned the kiss.
When they finally parted, she was torn between seeking for more
of the heavenly drug and questioning Heero's impulsive behaviour, but
the latter won her logic. "Why did you do that?" she whispered softly
in his ears, her tone dreamy.
"Remains of chocolate," Heero told her impatiently as he dived
into Relena's sweet flavour for more, "Gotta clean it,"
Giggling at the lame reason, Relena decided to return his kisses,
albeit tentatively. It was her first kiss, and unfortunately, unlike
politics and diplomacy, she was embarrassingly as clueless as a
fifteen-year-old on her first date. She had always dreamt of being in
Heero's hand, and she had always kept her first kiss for Heero alone,
or at least for a man she might love, in the future. And she had always
imagined it to be perfect.
However, nervousness seemed to take over her much prided
subtlety, as she finally gave into her instinct, closing her eyes
tightly as she smacked Heero's lips loudly in a short kiss. Berating
herself for the error that she presumably made, she scrambled up, flush
gracing her lovely face.
Avoiding Heero's eyes, she felt like killing herself. It was one
sloppy kiss! She totally forgot all things she had read and planned
about kissing, and she refused to humiliate herself even more by
continuing the kissing session. Who knows what Heero might be thinking
at the moment? She doubted Heero was more experienced than she was, but
one should never take outward appearance for granted. Always
mysterious, he was.
Chewing her lower lip anxiously, she curled her fingers beside
her, clenching her sweatshirt in a handful as she turned her face away,
worriedly waiting for Heero saying something. However, as the sound of
husky breaths travelling to her ears, her curiosity piqued, although
she managed to keep it at bay.
It took only a whisper of her name to break her wall of defences.
"Relena..."
Her face crimson in renewed embarrassment, Relena faced the
source of the low baritone, but her eyes widened as she attempted to
hold her laughter upon witnessing the vision before her.
Heero.
He lay there very still, limbs sprawling around carelessly, eyes
staring unfocusedly on the ceiling. His mouth half opened, he was
breathing roughly in regular intervals - his nose flared with each
breath he took. He looked so sinfully cute with the opening of his garb
widely apart, revealing his well-toned body. He had never been cuter
with his hair tousled and face blushing furiously, shamelessly
admitting his excitement.
"That was..." he continued breathlessly, gulping as he struggled
for the right words, "the best...the first..." then, as if someone had
thrown a bucket of cold water over his head, he snapped out of his
stupor and snarled viciously at her, scrambling up into sitting
position. Then he groaned piteously, so unlike his usual cool self,
"Tell me, Relena. Why do you always have to haunt me even in my waking
time? Sometimes I don't even understand myself anymore."
Smiling, Relena braved herself and approached him carefully,
placing her palm flatly on his cheek as she scooted closer. So this was
his first time, too. She shouldn't have worried too much. A wicked
smile curved her lips as she thought of what would happen when two
inexperienced people got together and experimented. Perhaps even more
excitement? Delight filled her mind as the unfamiliar giddiness
engulfed her as her blue aquamarine eyes settled on his half open
mouth.
"You know what, Heero?" she told him gently as her thumb kneaded
his cheek tenderly, "Sometimes people have to understand their
nightmare first before they understand their dreams."
His lips stretched into a smile, Heero settled his hand on top of
Relena's. Thinking Heero might want her to pull it away, she drew it
gently, but she gasped softly when he restrained her, clutching her
hand so it wouldn't slip away. Instead he twisted her hand and kissed
the upturned palm tenderly, his lips a lingering warmth. Smiling
against her palm, he declared meaningfully, "Definitely a princess'
hand. So soft, and no calluses."
Blushing gloriously, Relena couldn't shake the feeling of
helplessness as she sighed, "I couldn't help it. I rarely do manual
labour, anyway." However, as her embarrassment peaked, she finally
pulled her hand away, snapping at him in tension, "Heero, quit playing!
It's not like you at all!"
Heero squared his shoulders as he looked back into Relena's eyes;
his face grew more serious within seconds. "I don't know," he answered
her unspoken question honestly, his eyes searching. "Tell me."
"How could I tell you? I can't read your mind in any way." Relena
wailed her frustration, flailing her arms as she struggled for a more
appropriate answer. "The kiss...I don't even know if we're doing the
right thing. But it's not wise, I think. Quatre...you know that he
proposed, and I haven't deci..."
"Stop mentioning Quatre's name." Heero's calm remark succeeded in
shutting Relena's mouth, "I know what's happening between the two of
you, but there are only us right now. There's nobody else."
A heavy sigh and an impatient, "I know."
But as much as she wanted to be together with Heero, she had to
choose her path with care. If Heero had acted this way before Quatre
proposed to her, the story would be different. She would gladly succumb
to his every whim, even following him to Hell and back. But like any
other knight in shining armour, he came too late. Even the one little
kiss she had just shared with him was a grave mistake.
"Relena?"
"Mm?"
A gentle kiss sent currents of electricity down her spine, and
before she knew it, she closed her eyes in pleasure once more, a soft
moan escaping her lips as she savoured the simple little act. When she
finally opened her eyes, she found herself staring into the depths of
Heero's cobalt blue eyes, the colour becoming exceptionally bluer with
the sparks she had never witnessed in him before.
"Don't think."
"I didn't think." She objected.
"Yes, you are." Came the smug reply.
From then on, her voice stopped to obey her. The magic of Heero's
intense gaze had numbed her, and both of her hands going limped as
Heero's hands sneaked up and found their ways to her lower jaw, cupping
it gently as his thumbs tilted her face in an angle. Without releasing
her eyes, he settled one knee on the mattress and climbed up the bunk
carefully.
She waited and waited, dare not to breathe as he lowered his face
and brushed her lips with his own testily, experimentally at first. The
kiss was simple and innocent, without the passion that was usually
accompanied by lust. But it contained something precious, which only
they could understand, and yet they couldn't explain by words. They
didn't feel the need to break the moment with words. The quietness felt
just right.
Warmth pooled in the pit of their stomach as they roamed each
other's lips without venturing beyond and after, keeping the action
straightforward and undemanding. Measuring the other's pace as they
heightened their exploration, they waited until the other was
comfortable before proceeding with their moves. Heero nibbled on
Relena's lower lips as she circled her arms around his neck, drawing
him closer. Smiling against his lips, Relena savoured the remaining
taste of chocolate, licking them earnestly.
"Sweet, sweet Heero..." she whispered the words for his ears only,
her smile growing when she caught his puzzled expression.
"Like chocolate?" he finished the sentence for her, drawing soft
giggles from her.
Shushing him, Relena continued her exploration, this time even
bolder. Running the tip of her pink tongue along the barrier of his
teeth, she slipped her hand under his garment, feeling the warmth of
his skin beneath. Sucking a great deal of cold air, Heero kept his eyes
open as he stroke Relena's tongue with his own, thrusting and
intertwining, caressing the velvety wall of her mouth. He groaned
against her lips, as the blood in his veins pulsed wildly, tightening
one fist on her golden tresses. His other hand circled her waist as he
rose to his feet at the same time, bringing her mass up with him.
Guided by instincts, she clung to him desperately while raising
her legs and circling them securely around Heero's waist. Her breath
low and ragged, she locked Heero's neck with her arms, refusing to let
it go as her mouth hungrily sought for his. She never knew kissing
someone felt this good. And she had thought first kiss would usually be
disastrous, even when she planned it.
Relena hated to break the kiss, but she knew somebody had to stop
it before something they might regret in the future happened. Thus, she
pulled away from the kiss albeit reluctantly. She almost smiled and
gazed back wistfully as she noticed longing and disappointment in
Heero's eyes, though she knew he tried to conceal it beneath his cold
exterior. Heero kept their eye contacts as he balanced her mass in his
arms, lifting her up to a slightly higher position than his.
"Again. Relena." her heaving chest and flushing cheeks were
adorably, and her red and swollen lips made him want for more. His
husky command tempted her to submit into her desire, but she shook her
head instead, which was...ironic. Now that she got her dream cradled in
her arms, she could do nothing but let it go.
"No," her answer was firm, but sad.
"Why?"
"Quatre..." she explained, almost inaudible, "It would hurt him. I
have to settle things down first with him."
"You love him."
He had pronounced the words easily, but the intensity in his eyes
almost scared her. It almost made her think he was jealous. But with
Heero, she never knew. Better be cautious than hurt even deeper.
"I'm not lying when I said I don't love him." She sighed,
gingerly playing with Heero's collar, "But..."
"You think he loves you." Heero finished her sentence, his eyes
slightly softened as he spotted the surprise in her eyes. "Yes," he
nodded in confirmation, "He loves you."
Shrugging, Relena pursed her lips as she replied thoughtfully,
"Perhaps, but we never know."
"He hasn't said it yet to you, but he will."
Eyes widened in mild surprise, Relena was slightly baffled as she
asked him back, blurting without much thinking, "Will you?" The moment
she said it was the moment she regretted her decision, feeling very
much an insensitive idiot.
Heero's reaction, on the other hand, bewildered her. She had
predicted him to avoid the matter, but she didn't expect him to
hesitate. Not in her lifetime she dreamt of him considering the matter
of his heart in such a long pause. The old Heero would just shrug it
off, then walked away to maintain his mobile suit without much concern
of his responsibility to deliver the right answer to the sensitive
question. He had matured a lot in the past few years of their
acquaintance.
Lowering Relena carefully on the cold ground, he pushed a strand
of hair away from her face as his lips quivered into an ironic smirk.
Brushing his fingers in feathery trails on her soft skin, he held her
eyes captive as he told her, "I'm not capable of loving someone."
"Oh. Are you not?" her voice a whispery crack as new tears sprang
onto her eyes, blurred her vision of the handsome face before her.
Clutching the material of Heero's garb for support, she attempted to
blink the tears away, willing herself to smile bravely and walk away
untouched by the whole calamity of her love life, but she found herself
too battered, too shattered to put her mask of cheerful formality back
on her persona. The tears refused to obey, gliding freely on her cheeks
one by one. The beads shimmered as the dim light of the chamber
reflected upon them.
But you kissed me...
She had wanted to voice her complaints, but she seemed to be engulfed
by an unidentified and overwhelming emotion as she saw nothing but
emptiness beneath the mask that Heero wore. Sobbing, she looked away -
hot tears stung her skin as they made contact with the stirring cold
air around her. Slowly she wrenched her hands away from him, taking a
step back as she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand, her
body shaking ever so slightly.