Disclaimer: Gravitation does not belong to me.
Notes: This is it! The third chapter! Gyah…I think I let the cat out of the bag too early…grr…I love to have some more cliffhangers…but…*sigh*…anyways, I don't think I wrote this chapter well but…gyah…I am too lazy to rewrite it…maybe, I will change some stuff in this chapter later…when I have time… Oh yea, when reading this chapter, play some sad or soothing music ne? It will bring out some atmosphere. Of course, nothings better than "Gravitation Theme" to bring out the Gravi atmosphere…oh yea, and pardon the grammar as usual…thank you for all the kind comments and well, till then, ja.
Chapter 03: "I know…Shuichi…I know…"
Rain poured mercilessly from the reddish-black boundless night sky.
Yuki Eiri was speeding his way along the expressway in his Mercedes Benz limousine. A feeling of anger and annoyance seized him. He was fuming, confused, and…hurt. He was hurt. Hurt by a pinky idiot, by a baka, by a pest, by…by his Shuichi. Shuichi had torn his soul. "Why can't he just tell me what's going wrong around here?"
// Flashback //
"What's wrong with Shindou Shuichi?" Yuki demanded. He was on the front door of Bad Luck's guitarist's, Hiroshi Nakano, apartment.
"Yuki-san…what are you talking about…? Shuichi? What happened to him? You two didn't have a fight, did you?" Hiro replied…casually? It was obvious he was trying to change the topic of their conversation here.
"No, we didn't and don't give me that. You KNOW what I am talking about."
"I am sorry but I don't."
Yuki was exasperated now. Fuck all this shit. Stop giving me all this shit. Stop telling me you do not know what the fucking wrong is with Shuichi. Stop telling me that he is fine. Stop telling me you do not know. Stop. Stop…
"…Stop…STOP GIVING ME THIS FUCKING SHIT!" Yuki Eiri grabbed Hiro by the collar and lumped him to against the door. "WHAT'S GOING WRONG AROUND HERE? WHAT ARE YOU ALL HIDING FROM ME?"
Hiro was in trepidation. He was overcome by fear. He was never this afraid…not even when learning Shuichi had…
"I…Yuki-san…please…please understand…you've got to…if Shuichi…if he's not telling you…he doesn't want hurt you…please understand…"
Silent tears rolled down along Hiro's cheek before landing on Yuki's gripping hand.
// End of Flashback //
Doesn't want to hurt me? But you are hurting me now…hurting me so much to see you in this state…hurting me so much to see you crying and pleading that you are alright when I know you aren't, Shuichi…
Yuki sped faster and faster before losing control of his steering wheel, crashing towards the lamppost.
A few kilometers away, Shindou Shuichi woke up with a jerk, only to hear the faint wailing of the ambulance.
*** ***
It was quiet in the hospital at 2.10 a.m. Well, it had to be quiet.
But the silence was broken by footsteps. Footsteps that were at a running pace.
Shindou Shuichi ran towards the reception counter. He was exhausted. Imagine running to the hospital more than 5 streets across your apartment in 10 minutes. You have to be exhausted. However, our protagonist could not care less about his exhaustion. Fear and worries had overcome him that he no longer felt his exhaustion.
"Ah…you…Yes? How can I help you?" The female receptionist inquired too politely to be on a night shift…or morning at this time.
"…Yu…Yu…ah…Usegi Eiri-san…which room is he in? Hurry…"
"Usegi-san…oh…room 273…ah…please don't run…its past visitor hours alrea…"
Shindou Shuichi sped towards the elevator. "273…273…273…273…second floor…273…273…273…" Shuichi could no longer think clearly now…
Shooting out of the lift as soon as it stopped at the second floor, Shuichi lurched himself towards the room with a name card stating "Room 273: Usegi Eiri"
SLAM---
"Yuuuukiiiiii~~~~~~~~~~!" Shuichi could not care less. All he wanted to do now is to scream at his kobito's name and hug him as tight as possible…of course…we certainly can picture that Shuichi would fail and slam himself onto the floor.
"…Baka…" Usegi…Yuki Eiri, awoken by Shuichi's dramatic and…spastic entrance, sighed.
"Yuuuukiiii…" Shuichi carried himself up, regaining his composure. "Are you alright, Yuki? Ne…Yuki…gods…is your head all right? You got quite a bump there…are you hurt anywhere else ne~?"
"I am…hurt…somewhere else…"
"Yuuuukii…where? Daijoubu? Where else are you hurt? Ne…Yuki?"
Yuki took hold of Shuichi's bandaged right hand. God…its cold…it is shaking…
"Here…" Yuki placed Shuichi's hand on his left chest where Shuichi can clearly feel Yuki's heartbeat…
"Eh…?"
"Baka…" Yuki Eiri pulled Shuichi and hugged him…closely…tightly…lovingly…
"Yuki…ne…what's wrong…with you?" Awed by Yuki's actions, Shuichi sobbed. Yuki had never hugged him like this before. Not even when they reconciled after their fights and misunderstandings…not even when Yuki initiated sex with him…not even when Yuki cried for the first time in front of Shuichi half a year ago…
"There's nothing wrong with me…but you…"
Shuichi shook.
"…Shuichi…What's the matter with you? Tell me…don't hurt me like that…I don't want to see you like that…"
Silence fell. Shuichi was crying silently with his emerald eyes in contact with Yuki's gentle golden ones. He was moved and touched. His heart was filled warmth. He could finally feel that this man in front of him, though cold and ignorant, was in love with him. He could finally tell that this man in front of him, though mean and malevolent, cared and was concern about him. Yuki loves me. Yuki cares about me. Yuki…Yuki…
"Yuki…" Shuichi embraced Eiri back as lovingly. "I…Yuki…I don't want to hurt you…I know you being through too much…I don't want to hurt you anymore…"
"But you are hurting me that much now…hurting me by not telling me what are you suffering from…hurting me by lying to me…"
"Yuki…I…I…I…only…I…I only have six…" Shuichi mumbled as he cried more and more painfully.
"Six…what?" Yuki was feeling pain too. Not because on the bump of his head, but for the part of him that love Shuichi wholeheartedly tearing upon each of Shuichi's words…
"Six…more…months…to live…Yuki…only six more…"
"Shuichi…" Yuki knew what Shuichi was going to say…He knew Shuichi was going to say that…but, he was still praying hard…praying that he had mistaken…praying that this was all but a dream…a nightmare…praying that his cycle of pain would halt and not continue as Shuichi spoke.
"Shuichi…why? Why six months?" Eiri could feel that Shuichi's hug was tighter every second, imploring for comfort. He could feel that his fragile lover was hurting as much as he was.
"…I…I...got…I got…a…tumor…a tumor…in my head…if I don't…don't go for…an operation…I…I…have…only six…more…six…more…months…Yuki…but…I…I…don't want…I don't want to go for the operation…I don't want…I don't want to…huh?" Shuichi felt wetness on the back of his shirt. Yuki Eiri was crying. Tears were streaming down from Eiri's face…tears that were for Shuichi. Shuichi broke the embrace, gently wiping Yuki's tears with his thumb. Shuichi was hurting Yuki…bringing Yuki into the other side of the aquarium window where Yuki can only moved as if underwater – back and forth, back and forth – and looked out at the rest of the world through the glass, enveloped in a cold numbness.
"Yuki…please…onegai…"
"…Why? Shuichi…why…why don't you want to go for the operation…?"
"Yuki…I…I…I…don't want to…because…I…the…operation…have…have…only…a 50-50 percentage…of…of success…Yuki…I don't want…I don't want to go…I want to live…even its for six months…I want to live happily with you…six…six months…will do…I…I…don't want…to shorten…shorten it…I don't want…I don't want to…"
"Shuichi…you are…you…silly…foolish…baka…" Ironically for a writer, Yuki Eiri could not find words to describe Shuichi right now. All he could do was to embrace Shuichi again. He would not let go now. He would never let go…
"I am…experiencing…symptoms…now…drowsiness…headaches…I…I feel numb…sometimes…Yuki…I am afraid…I am afraid…the reason…the reason for the condom…is because…I…I…I am afraid…that…you will…get…it…too…I don't want that…I am afraid…"
"Shuichi…you are…so…stupid…cancer is neither infectious nor contagious…"
"But…I…I…I am afraid…I am...Yuki…"
"I know…Shuichi…I know…"
Silence was introduced again. There was no need to say anything else. Yuki's lips seized that of Shuichi's. They needed the kiss. It was…their only way to comfort each other right now.
The rain stopped…leaving what was of the air to be crisp and clean. Yet, the heavens still moaned…
Notes: This is it! The third chapter! Gyah…I think I let the cat out of the bag too early…grr…I love to have some more cliffhangers…but…*sigh*…anyways, I don't think I wrote this chapter well but…gyah…I am too lazy to rewrite it…maybe, I will change some stuff in this chapter later…when I have time… Oh yea, when reading this chapter, play some sad or soothing music ne? It will bring out some atmosphere. Of course, nothings better than "Gravitation Theme" to bring out the Gravi atmosphere…oh yea, and pardon the grammar as usual…thank you for all the kind comments and well, till then, ja.
Chapter 03: "I know…Shuichi…I know…"
Rain poured mercilessly from the reddish-black boundless night sky.
Yuki Eiri was speeding his way along the expressway in his Mercedes Benz limousine. A feeling of anger and annoyance seized him. He was fuming, confused, and…hurt. He was hurt. Hurt by a pinky idiot, by a baka, by a pest, by…by his Shuichi. Shuichi had torn his soul. "Why can't he just tell me what's going wrong around here?"
// Flashback //
"What's wrong with Shindou Shuichi?" Yuki demanded. He was on the front door of Bad Luck's guitarist's, Hiroshi Nakano, apartment.
"Yuki-san…what are you talking about…? Shuichi? What happened to him? You two didn't have a fight, did you?" Hiro replied…casually? It was obvious he was trying to change the topic of their conversation here.
"No, we didn't and don't give me that. You KNOW what I am talking about."
"I am sorry but I don't."
Yuki was exasperated now. Fuck all this shit. Stop giving me all this shit. Stop telling me you do not know what the fucking wrong is with Shuichi. Stop telling me that he is fine. Stop telling me you do not know. Stop. Stop…
"…Stop…STOP GIVING ME THIS FUCKING SHIT!" Yuki Eiri grabbed Hiro by the collar and lumped him to against the door. "WHAT'S GOING WRONG AROUND HERE? WHAT ARE YOU ALL HIDING FROM ME?"
Hiro was in trepidation. He was overcome by fear. He was never this afraid…not even when learning Shuichi had…
"I…Yuki-san…please…please understand…you've got to…if Shuichi…if he's not telling you…he doesn't want hurt you…please understand…"
Silent tears rolled down along Hiro's cheek before landing on Yuki's gripping hand.
// End of Flashback //
Doesn't want to hurt me? But you are hurting me now…hurting me so much to see you in this state…hurting me so much to see you crying and pleading that you are alright when I know you aren't, Shuichi…
Yuki sped faster and faster before losing control of his steering wheel, crashing towards the lamppost.
A few kilometers away, Shindou Shuichi woke up with a jerk, only to hear the faint wailing of the ambulance.
*** ***
It was quiet in the hospital at 2.10 a.m. Well, it had to be quiet.
But the silence was broken by footsteps. Footsteps that were at a running pace.
Shindou Shuichi ran towards the reception counter. He was exhausted. Imagine running to the hospital more than 5 streets across your apartment in 10 minutes. You have to be exhausted. However, our protagonist could not care less about his exhaustion. Fear and worries had overcome him that he no longer felt his exhaustion.
"Ah…you…Yes? How can I help you?" The female receptionist inquired too politely to be on a night shift…or morning at this time.
"…Yu…Yu…ah…Usegi Eiri-san…which room is he in? Hurry…"
"Usegi-san…oh…room 273…ah…please don't run…its past visitor hours alrea…"
Shindou Shuichi sped towards the elevator. "273…273…273…273…second floor…273…273…273…" Shuichi could no longer think clearly now…
Shooting out of the lift as soon as it stopped at the second floor, Shuichi lurched himself towards the room with a name card stating "Room 273: Usegi Eiri"
SLAM---
"Yuuuukiiiiii~~~~~~~~~~!" Shuichi could not care less. All he wanted to do now is to scream at his kobito's name and hug him as tight as possible…of course…we certainly can picture that Shuichi would fail and slam himself onto the floor.
"…Baka…" Usegi…Yuki Eiri, awoken by Shuichi's dramatic and…spastic entrance, sighed.
"Yuuuukiiii…" Shuichi carried himself up, regaining his composure. "Are you alright, Yuki? Ne…Yuki…gods…is your head all right? You got quite a bump there…are you hurt anywhere else ne~?"
"I am…hurt…somewhere else…"
"Yuuuukii…where? Daijoubu? Where else are you hurt? Ne…Yuki?"
Yuki took hold of Shuichi's bandaged right hand. God…its cold…it is shaking…
"Here…" Yuki placed Shuichi's hand on his left chest where Shuichi can clearly feel Yuki's heartbeat…
"Eh…?"
"Baka…" Yuki Eiri pulled Shuichi and hugged him…closely…tightly…lovingly…
"Yuki…ne…what's wrong…with you?" Awed by Yuki's actions, Shuichi sobbed. Yuki had never hugged him like this before. Not even when they reconciled after their fights and misunderstandings…not even when Yuki initiated sex with him…not even when Yuki cried for the first time in front of Shuichi half a year ago…
"There's nothing wrong with me…but you…"
Shuichi shook.
"…Shuichi…What's the matter with you? Tell me…don't hurt me like that…I don't want to see you like that…"
Silence fell. Shuichi was crying silently with his emerald eyes in contact with Yuki's gentle golden ones. He was moved and touched. His heart was filled warmth. He could finally feel that this man in front of him, though cold and ignorant, was in love with him. He could finally tell that this man in front of him, though mean and malevolent, cared and was concern about him. Yuki loves me. Yuki cares about me. Yuki…Yuki…
"Yuki…" Shuichi embraced Eiri back as lovingly. "I…Yuki…I don't want to hurt you…I know you being through too much…I don't want to hurt you anymore…"
"But you are hurting me that much now…hurting me by not telling me what are you suffering from…hurting me by lying to me…"
"Yuki…I…I…I…only…I…I only have six…" Shuichi mumbled as he cried more and more painfully.
"Six…what?" Yuki was feeling pain too. Not because on the bump of his head, but for the part of him that love Shuichi wholeheartedly tearing upon each of Shuichi's words…
"Six…more…months…to live…Yuki…only six more…"
"Shuichi…" Yuki knew what Shuichi was going to say…He knew Shuichi was going to say that…but, he was still praying hard…praying that he had mistaken…praying that this was all but a dream…a nightmare…praying that his cycle of pain would halt and not continue as Shuichi spoke.
"Shuichi…why? Why six months?" Eiri could feel that Shuichi's hug was tighter every second, imploring for comfort. He could feel that his fragile lover was hurting as much as he was.
"…I…I...got…I got…a…tumor…a tumor…in my head…if I don't…don't go for…an operation…I…I…have…only six…more…six…more…months…Yuki…but…I…I…don't want…I don't want to go for the operation…I don't want…I don't want to…huh?" Shuichi felt wetness on the back of his shirt. Yuki Eiri was crying. Tears were streaming down from Eiri's face…tears that were for Shuichi. Shuichi broke the embrace, gently wiping Yuki's tears with his thumb. Shuichi was hurting Yuki…bringing Yuki into the other side of the aquarium window where Yuki can only moved as if underwater – back and forth, back and forth – and looked out at the rest of the world through the glass, enveloped in a cold numbness.
"Yuki…please…onegai…"
"…Why? Shuichi…why…why don't you want to go for the operation…?"
"Yuki…I…I…I…don't want to…because…I…the…operation…have…have…only…a 50-50 percentage…of…of success…Yuki…I don't want…I don't want to go…I want to live…even its for six months…I want to live happily with you…six…six months…will do…I…I…don't want…to shorten…shorten it…I don't want…I don't want to…"
"Shuichi…you are…you…silly…foolish…baka…" Ironically for a writer, Yuki Eiri could not find words to describe Shuichi right now. All he could do was to embrace Shuichi again. He would not let go now. He would never let go…
"I am…experiencing…symptoms…now…drowsiness…headaches…I…I feel numb…sometimes…Yuki…I am afraid…I am afraid…the reason…the reason for the condom…is because…I…I…I am afraid…that…you will…get…it…too…I don't want that…I am afraid…"
"Shuichi…you are…so…stupid…cancer is neither infectious nor contagious…"
"But…I…I…I am afraid…I am...Yuki…"
"I know…Shuichi…I know…"
Silence was introduced again. There was no need to say anything else. Yuki's lips seized that of Shuichi's. They needed the kiss. It was…their only way to comfort each other right now.
The rain stopped…leaving what was of the air to be crisp and clean. Yet, the heavens still moaned…