Disclaimer: Gravitation does not belong to me.
Notes: Chapter 06 is up finally! I got a block when writing this chapter. I got too many ideas on how the story should continue but I finally chose one that I like and here it is. TAH-DAH~! Hehe…anyways, sorry for the late update. Oh yea, and this story gonna make the characters (especially Yuki _) a little OOC…I mean people change when something big happen in their lives and Yuki will change a lot, I believe, when he knew one day Shuichi was going to leave him forever and stuff…so…its just my opinion…hehe…anyways, enjoy the story (I hope _)!! And as usual, please R&R and pardon my grammar. =)
Chapter 06: "I need you…Shuichi."
Nakano Hiroshi sped his Harley towards the hospital…for the fourth time this month. The first was when Shuichi fainted during a shooting. The second was to get Shuichi's medical report. Shuichi's collapse during a recording made the third. And now, this…
Shuichi…his childhood friend. How long had they been friends? Hiro could not recall. It seemed like a long time ago. It seemed like they were born to be friends…destined to be partners…made for each other. They compromised for each other like two fitting jigsaw piece -- genius and idiot, calm and temperamental, logical and illogical. Where else can you find such a perfect duo?
But now…Shuichi…his best friend…his soul mate…was ill. Shuichi contracted a brain tumor. It was killing him softly, not only physically but mentally too. The fear of death. The fear of never to be able to exist in this world anymore. The fear of the unknown. But the worst of all was the fear of unable to see your loved ones again. Hiro knew Shuichi too well. Shuichi only feared of never seeing Yuki Eiri again. Ever since they met more than half a year ago, Shuichi's life was impacted with fulfillments of dreams and love. The dream of singing. The love for Yuki Eiri.
// "Yuki Eiri. One of the most famous romance writer in Japan right now, adored by females ranging from infatuated students to lonely housewives. No wonder he criticized your lyrics ne…"//
Hiro was the one that introduced Yuki to Shuichi…indirectly. He was the one who told Shuichi who Yuki was. He was the first to encourage Shuichi to admit his feelings towards Yuki. He was the one who supported Yuki-Shuichi relationship right from the start. He…He was the one who caused Shuichi's pain now… If he didn't tell Shuichi about Yuki…if he didn't encourage Shuichi to reveal his feelings… If he didn't support their relationship…
But all was lost. Shuichi was madly in love with Yuki. A goner even before the relationship started. And Hiro knew. Hiro knew Shuichi would lose himself in Yuki. Hiro knew if their relationship ended in any way, Shuichi would be hurt in the very end. What Hiro did not know was that the relationship was going to end like this…no…maybe not…maybe Shuichi would live…maybe they would not be separated after all…maybe… Hiro stopped thinking. There was no verdict to this debate in his mind. Only time would tell…
*** ***
Coldness ravished Hiro as he arrived at room 114. There was Shindou Shuichi, with a bandage over his eyes, lying quietly on the dull bed beside the window. And beside him was Yuki Eiri, holding onto Shuichi's hands, with the usual cool expression hanging over the face. Or was there a cloud of melancholy over it?
"Is he alright?" Hiro asked softly.
Yuki turned back, even though he already knew who was at the door, acknowledging presence of Hiro before he spoke.
"…Not good. The tumor has affected the photoreceptor cells. He…he…cannot…see…anymore…" Eiri replied faintly as he strengthened his hold on Shuichi's hands. An awkward silence crept into the ward. There was nothing else to say…nothing between Yuki Eiri and Nakano Hiroshi. Their conversation topic revolved only around Shuichi…always…as a lover…as a friend. Other than Shuichi, there was really nothing much more to talk about.
"Ugh…yu…yu…YUUUKIIIII~! YUUUUUKIIIIII~, WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?!" Shuichi was hysterical. You have to be when what you see in front of you is just an endless black pit. Shuichi's hands flew around him, searching in vain for his lover, without even noticing that Yuki was holding tight onto his right, trying hard to calm Shuichi down.
"I am here…I am here, Shuichi…" Yuki had to use the tactic of hugging Shuichi tight to make his presence known in the end, tranquilizing the latter who was shivering and crying in fear.
"Yuki…Yuki…" Shuichi was stumbled by words. This was one of the rare moments where Shindou Shuichi could not express his feelings properly. Fear, anger, desperation, love, calm, happy. They were all revolving around in Shuichi's mind.
So was Yuki Eiri. He was a writer. An occupation that arrange words together in a coherent and narrative basis. A professional who uses words as his tools. Yet, he was lost with his tools now. All he could do was hug Shuichi, making Shuichi know that he was here for him, minimizing Shuichi's fear to the minimum and feeling Shuichi's pain.
And, Hiro…he could only stand by the door, watching all this sadly. His mind was lost as well. He too wanted to hug Shuichi tight, comforting him. But he was not required for that now. Yuki Eiri was here to do that. He was the right person to do that. He was what Shuichi needed now. And Hiro…he could only watch. He could only watch and pray…pray that God would have mercy on his friend.
Please let this be enough. Please by robbing away his eyes is enough…
*** ***
"Shuichi…" Yuki called out softly, lifting the heavy silence in his living room. Shuichi was lying down on the couch, looking…no…facing aimlessly at the ceiling. They had returned to their home after three days of hospitalization. And Shuichi had been quiet for three whole days, establishing a feat in the Guinness Book of Records. But Yuki had neither time nor mood to publicize that. He was worried. Yes, worried for Shuichi he was. He had never seen the kid in deep silence before. That was what he did, not Shuichi. Thus, he was worried and perhaps deep down inside, he was afraid too.
Yuki was never fearful of anything in his life. Well…except that when he was younger, he dreaded sleeping in the dark and the occasional fits he get when forced to eat celery. Other than that, he was never afraid. But now…he was…just a little… Shuichi's conditions were really scaring him. There was Shuichi. Quiet. Faint breathing. Pale. Bandaged eyes. Lips cracking. Thinner than usual. Not responding. Silent.
"Shuichi…can you hear me…?" Yuki forwarded himself to the couch and held Shuichi's hands. Cold. Dry. Lifeless.
"Shuichi…" Yuki increased his volume a little as if summoning the soul of Shuichi back to where it belongs. "SHUICHI!!"
Silence. No response.
"…Shuichi…" Yuki called out again…softer now…sighing…giving up. It was no use. He had been calling for him for three goddamn days. And the response had been nil for three goddamn days.
It was understandable for Shuichi to be silent…lifeless. He had lost his eyes. He could no longer see. His fans…his friends…his family…his Yuki…All of them had disappeared from him. All there was left was a bottomless black pit. Hope was gone. Help had vanished. He was all alone. Alone in the dark. Devastated. No…more than devastated. Apprehensive. No…greater than apprehensiveness. Fear. No…much worse than fear. God damn it! He could no longer see! The world was gone. Everything was gone. Yuki was gone. Nothing…nothing left… And right after thinking that there was nothing left…he recalled that he was dying. A tumor was killing him. He was going to vanish from the face of the earth. He was going to become a memory.
"…Yu…ki…" The first word after three days of pain and depression was whispered slowly from Shuichi's dry mouth.
"Shuichi!" Eiri jolted.
"…I…I…am…going…I am…going to become…a…a memory…am I?" Tears were wetting the bandage on Shuichi's eyes.
"Huh?"
"…I…am…going…to…to…die…am I?" Tears were flooding fast. They were never so painful to flow out. It was killing Shuichi's eyes. Eyes? He had lost them, hadn't he?
"…Shuichi…" For the sixth time in the past ten minutes and thirteen seconds, Eiri called his name.
"…I…am…am…going…to…to…die…haha…I am…going to die…hahaha…die…hahahahaha…"
"SHUICHI!!" The seventh time. Yuki shook Shuichi, trying in vain to wake Shuichi from his trance. "No…you are not…don't…don't do this…don't…" Lost again with words. Yuki was suspicious how the hell did he qualify to be "the greatest romance writer in Japan".
"…Yu…Yuki…Yuki…*sob*…*sob*…Yuki…YUUUUUUUUUUKKIIIIIIIIIIIII~~~~~!!!" After scanning around Yuki's face frantically with his shivering hands, Shuichi screamed as he pushed himself into his lover's embrace.
And Yuki felt the pain Shuichi was endearing as he sensed the boy's lachrymose heartbeat ringing on his chest. God…what could he do now? How could he lessen Shuichi's pain? He did not know. He begged now that someone could help him out here…but he suddenly remembered Shuichi was the only one to come whenever he needed help. No one else would come to the rescue. Only Shuichi. But now…Shuichi…Shuichi…his Shuichi…
"…*sob*…I am…scared…Yuki…I…am so…scared…Yuki…*sob*…I…can't see anything…I am…scared…Yuki…" Shuichi cried more miserably than ever, sobbing his words.
"I know…" That was all Yuki could say. He could only acknowledge Shuichi's fears and hugged him tighter. He did not know what to do now. Fuck. He could not even comfort Shuichi now. What was the matter with him? Pride getting in the way? Hell no! Fuck. Fuck himself.
"Shuichi…I…I…"
"…Yuki…*sob*…I am…scared…Yuki…" Shuichi continued his whimpering.
"…Shuichi…please…stop this…I know…I know you are scared…I know…" Yuki was still considering what was best to say.
"Yuki…*sob*…I don't wanna go for…*sob*… the operation anymore…I don't want to anymore…"
"What?!" Yuki exclaimed, shocked.
"I don't want to…I don't want to…*sob*…I don't want to…"
"SHUICHI! FUCK! WHY?!" Yuki pushed himself away as he roared. Shit. Not now…Shuichi had to go for the op. If he didn't…if he didn't…
"…Yu…Yuki…" Shuichi was startled by Yuki's volume, imaging an annoyed Yuki giving a piercing stare on him in his mind.
But he was wrong. A most hurt and dejected look was hanging on Eiri's facial expression. Not going for the op meant Shuichi was going leave him like Yuki did. Not going for the op meant he was going to be hurt again like he did six years ago. Not going for the op meant he was going to lose Shuichi in six months…no…5 months and a week. No…he would not allow that. Fucking no. Shuichi meant too much to him. Shuichi was what he lived for now. Shuichi was what he learnt to love now. Shuichi was so precious to him now. Shuichi was…his life…his everything. Shuichi was his. He was not going to lose his possession.
"…I…I…am…so…sorry…" Shuichi blurted out sadly.
"Shit…" Yuki hated himself now. Why the hell did he raise his voice? Shuichi was inflicted with enough pain already. Why the heck did he shout at him to hurt him even more now?
"…So…Sorry…*sob*" Shuichi could sense Yuki's annoyance without even seeing him.
"Hell…can you stop apologizing for a minute?" It was Yuki's fault.
"…*sob*…so…sorry…" Shuichi could not stop crying…nor apologizing.
"FUCK!" Yuki banged the coffee table hard. He was definitely exasperated now. This was making him a moronic bastard.
"…Yu…Yuki…I…I…am…ugh…"
Yuki grabbed Shuichi for a buss before he could continue his apologies. This had been and was the only way to stop Shuichi from talking. But the kiss deviated its objective to an expression of love and passion between the two lovers later, leaving both of them swooned breathlessly.
"…Shuichi…" Eiri whispered softly to Shuichi's right ear after they broke the kiss for a warm hug.
"…Yuki…I really don't want to go for the op…" Shuichi's tears had stopped but he was still trembling hard.
"…Why…?" Yuki asked gently, working hard to suppress his frustration. "Didn't you just say you want to do it three days ago? Why do you want to back out now?"
"…Yuki…I…I don't…know…I…I…"
Yuki caressed Shuichi even tighter as a sign of comfort so that Shuichi would continue his reasons.
"…I don't have…the confidence anymore…After all this had happened…I don't have confidence anymore…I am scared…I can't see now…I am really scared that I will not even be able to feel Yuki anymore. I am scared that I will not be able to hear Yuki anymore. I…I…don't have the…confidence…I…" Shuichi could not longer continue. He hugged back as tight in order to control his tears from flowing. He had cried enough already.
A long silence fell before Yuki pushed Shuichi aside, inserted his hand into his pocket, and brought out what seemed to be a small blue cubic box with an ocean blue ribbon tight neatly on top.
"Feel this?" Yuki placed the box on Shuichi's hands gently and started untying the ribbon slowly.
"Open it." Yuki said faintly after Shuichi acknowledged feeling the box and he had finished undoing the knot.
Shuichi lifted the top and felt its content to be something cold and sharp with a round contour of some metal below it. He knew what it was even without his eyes.
"Yu…Yuki…?" His voice trembled more than ever.
Yuki removed the diamond ring from the box and put it on Shuichi's left ring finger before giving him another embrace.
"I need you…Shuichi." He breathed into Shuichi's ear again before having se…no…making love to him.
*** ***
"Wait here. I'll be back in a moment." Yuki Eiri ordered before going to the reception counter to fill in Shuichi's particulars.
Yes, Shuichi was going for the op…after much persuasion from his family, colleagues, Hiro and of course Yuki. Come to think of it, it seemed that Yuki's ring was the one that did almost three-quarters of the persuasion. Shuichi was sitting obediently on the bench beside the first floor's automatic drink vending machine. He almost got himself lost twice this week already due to his handicap. He knew he had to be obedient now. A week of blindness…Shuichi had experienced so much this week. Fear, love, anger, happiness, desolation and joy.
"Who's there?" Shuichi sensed the presence of someone nearby. His other senses had been more sensitive after losing his sight.
"…How are you? Shindou-san."
"…Se…Seguchi-san…" Shuichi was rather shocked to know Tohma was here. He took off his shades, grabbed his walking stick and stood up abruptly. It had always been his habit to tense up when knowing Seguchi Tohma was here.
"Please sit down…I'll leave after I finish what I have to say." Tohma, in his usual fluffy wardrobe, helped Shuichi back to his seat gentlemanly.
"…Yes…Seguchi-san?" Shuichi asked after being seated again.
"Leave…"
"Huh?"
"Leave Eiri now."
To be continued…
Notes: Chapter 06 is up finally! I got a block when writing this chapter. I got too many ideas on how the story should continue but I finally chose one that I like and here it is. TAH-DAH~! Hehe…anyways, sorry for the late update. Oh yea, and this story gonna make the characters (especially Yuki _) a little OOC…I mean people change when something big happen in their lives and Yuki will change a lot, I believe, when he knew one day Shuichi was going to leave him forever and stuff…so…its just my opinion…hehe…anyways, enjoy the story (I hope _)!! And as usual, please R&R and pardon my grammar. =)
Chapter 06: "I need you…Shuichi."
Nakano Hiroshi sped his Harley towards the hospital…for the fourth time this month. The first was when Shuichi fainted during a shooting. The second was to get Shuichi's medical report. Shuichi's collapse during a recording made the third. And now, this…
Shuichi…his childhood friend. How long had they been friends? Hiro could not recall. It seemed like a long time ago. It seemed like they were born to be friends…destined to be partners…made for each other. They compromised for each other like two fitting jigsaw piece -- genius and idiot, calm and temperamental, logical and illogical. Where else can you find such a perfect duo?
But now…Shuichi…his best friend…his soul mate…was ill. Shuichi contracted a brain tumor. It was killing him softly, not only physically but mentally too. The fear of death. The fear of never to be able to exist in this world anymore. The fear of the unknown. But the worst of all was the fear of unable to see your loved ones again. Hiro knew Shuichi too well. Shuichi only feared of never seeing Yuki Eiri again. Ever since they met more than half a year ago, Shuichi's life was impacted with fulfillments of dreams and love. The dream of singing. The love for Yuki Eiri.
// "Yuki Eiri. One of the most famous romance writer in Japan right now, adored by females ranging from infatuated students to lonely housewives. No wonder he criticized your lyrics ne…"//
Hiro was the one that introduced Yuki to Shuichi…indirectly. He was the one who told Shuichi who Yuki was. He was the first to encourage Shuichi to admit his feelings towards Yuki. He was the one who supported Yuki-Shuichi relationship right from the start. He…He was the one who caused Shuichi's pain now… If he didn't tell Shuichi about Yuki…if he didn't encourage Shuichi to reveal his feelings… If he didn't support their relationship…
But all was lost. Shuichi was madly in love with Yuki. A goner even before the relationship started. And Hiro knew. Hiro knew Shuichi would lose himself in Yuki. Hiro knew if their relationship ended in any way, Shuichi would be hurt in the very end. What Hiro did not know was that the relationship was going to end like this…no…maybe not…maybe Shuichi would live…maybe they would not be separated after all…maybe… Hiro stopped thinking. There was no verdict to this debate in his mind. Only time would tell…
*** ***
Coldness ravished Hiro as he arrived at room 114. There was Shindou Shuichi, with a bandage over his eyes, lying quietly on the dull bed beside the window. And beside him was Yuki Eiri, holding onto Shuichi's hands, with the usual cool expression hanging over the face. Or was there a cloud of melancholy over it?
"Is he alright?" Hiro asked softly.
Yuki turned back, even though he already knew who was at the door, acknowledging presence of Hiro before he spoke.
"…Not good. The tumor has affected the photoreceptor cells. He…he…cannot…see…anymore…" Eiri replied faintly as he strengthened his hold on Shuichi's hands. An awkward silence crept into the ward. There was nothing else to say…nothing between Yuki Eiri and Nakano Hiroshi. Their conversation topic revolved only around Shuichi…always…as a lover…as a friend. Other than Shuichi, there was really nothing much more to talk about.
"Ugh…yu…yu…YUUUKIIIII~! YUUUUUKIIIIII~, WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?!" Shuichi was hysterical. You have to be when what you see in front of you is just an endless black pit. Shuichi's hands flew around him, searching in vain for his lover, without even noticing that Yuki was holding tight onto his right, trying hard to calm Shuichi down.
"I am here…I am here, Shuichi…" Yuki had to use the tactic of hugging Shuichi tight to make his presence known in the end, tranquilizing the latter who was shivering and crying in fear.
"Yuki…Yuki…" Shuichi was stumbled by words. This was one of the rare moments where Shindou Shuichi could not express his feelings properly. Fear, anger, desperation, love, calm, happy. They were all revolving around in Shuichi's mind.
So was Yuki Eiri. He was a writer. An occupation that arrange words together in a coherent and narrative basis. A professional who uses words as his tools. Yet, he was lost with his tools now. All he could do was hug Shuichi, making Shuichi know that he was here for him, minimizing Shuichi's fear to the minimum and feeling Shuichi's pain.
And, Hiro…he could only stand by the door, watching all this sadly. His mind was lost as well. He too wanted to hug Shuichi tight, comforting him. But he was not required for that now. Yuki Eiri was here to do that. He was the right person to do that. He was what Shuichi needed now. And Hiro…he could only watch. He could only watch and pray…pray that God would have mercy on his friend.
Please let this be enough. Please by robbing away his eyes is enough…
*** ***
"Shuichi…" Yuki called out softly, lifting the heavy silence in his living room. Shuichi was lying down on the couch, looking…no…facing aimlessly at the ceiling. They had returned to their home after three days of hospitalization. And Shuichi had been quiet for three whole days, establishing a feat in the Guinness Book of Records. But Yuki had neither time nor mood to publicize that. He was worried. Yes, worried for Shuichi he was. He had never seen the kid in deep silence before. That was what he did, not Shuichi. Thus, he was worried and perhaps deep down inside, he was afraid too.
Yuki was never fearful of anything in his life. Well…except that when he was younger, he dreaded sleeping in the dark and the occasional fits he get when forced to eat celery. Other than that, he was never afraid. But now…he was…just a little… Shuichi's conditions were really scaring him. There was Shuichi. Quiet. Faint breathing. Pale. Bandaged eyes. Lips cracking. Thinner than usual. Not responding. Silent.
"Shuichi…can you hear me…?" Yuki forwarded himself to the couch and held Shuichi's hands. Cold. Dry. Lifeless.
"Shuichi…" Yuki increased his volume a little as if summoning the soul of Shuichi back to where it belongs. "SHUICHI!!"
Silence. No response.
"…Shuichi…" Yuki called out again…softer now…sighing…giving up. It was no use. He had been calling for him for three goddamn days. And the response had been nil for three goddamn days.
It was understandable for Shuichi to be silent…lifeless. He had lost his eyes. He could no longer see. His fans…his friends…his family…his Yuki…All of them had disappeared from him. All there was left was a bottomless black pit. Hope was gone. Help had vanished. He was all alone. Alone in the dark. Devastated. No…more than devastated. Apprehensive. No…greater than apprehensiveness. Fear. No…much worse than fear. God damn it! He could no longer see! The world was gone. Everything was gone. Yuki was gone. Nothing…nothing left… And right after thinking that there was nothing left…he recalled that he was dying. A tumor was killing him. He was going to vanish from the face of the earth. He was going to become a memory.
"…Yu…ki…" The first word after three days of pain and depression was whispered slowly from Shuichi's dry mouth.
"Shuichi!" Eiri jolted.
"…I…I…am…going…I am…going to become…a…a memory…am I?" Tears were wetting the bandage on Shuichi's eyes.
"Huh?"
"…I…am…going…to…to…die…am I?" Tears were flooding fast. They were never so painful to flow out. It was killing Shuichi's eyes. Eyes? He had lost them, hadn't he?
"…Shuichi…" For the sixth time in the past ten minutes and thirteen seconds, Eiri called his name.
"…I…am…am…going…to…to…die…haha…I am…going to die…hahaha…die…hahahahaha…"
"SHUICHI!!" The seventh time. Yuki shook Shuichi, trying in vain to wake Shuichi from his trance. "No…you are not…don't…don't do this…don't…" Lost again with words. Yuki was suspicious how the hell did he qualify to be "the greatest romance writer in Japan".
"…Yu…Yuki…Yuki…*sob*…*sob*…Yuki…YUUUUUUUUUUKKIIIIIIIIIIIII~~~~~!!!" After scanning around Yuki's face frantically with his shivering hands, Shuichi screamed as he pushed himself into his lover's embrace.
And Yuki felt the pain Shuichi was endearing as he sensed the boy's lachrymose heartbeat ringing on his chest. God…what could he do now? How could he lessen Shuichi's pain? He did not know. He begged now that someone could help him out here…but he suddenly remembered Shuichi was the only one to come whenever he needed help. No one else would come to the rescue. Only Shuichi. But now…Shuichi…Shuichi…his Shuichi…
"…*sob*…I am…scared…Yuki…I…am so…scared…Yuki…*sob*…I…can't see anything…I am…scared…Yuki…" Shuichi cried more miserably than ever, sobbing his words.
"I know…" That was all Yuki could say. He could only acknowledge Shuichi's fears and hugged him tighter. He did not know what to do now. Fuck. He could not even comfort Shuichi now. What was the matter with him? Pride getting in the way? Hell no! Fuck. Fuck himself.
"Shuichi…I…I…"
"…Yuki…*sob*…I am…scared…Yuki…" Shuichi continued his whimpering.
"…Shuichi…please…stop this…I know…I know you are scared…I know…" Yuki was still considering what was best to say.
"Yuki…*sob*…I don't wanna go for…*sob*… the operation anymore…I don't want to anymore…"
"What?!" Yuki exclaimed, shocked.
"I don't want to…I don't want to…*sob*…I don't want to…"
"SHUICHI! FUCK! WHY?!" Yuki pushed himself away as he roared. Shit. Not now…Shuichi had to go for the op. If he didn't…if he didn't…
"…Yu…Yuki…" Shuichi was startled by Yuki's volume, imaging an annoyed Yuki giving a piercing stare on him in his mind.
But he was wrong. A most hurt and dejected look was hanging on Eiri's facial expression. Not going for the op meant Shuichi was going leave him like Yuki did. Not going for the op meant he was going to be hurt again like he did six years ago. Not going for the op meant he was going to lose Shuichi in six months…no…5 months and a week. No…he would not allow that. Fucking no. Shuichi meant too much to him. Shuichi was what he lived for now. Shuichi was what he learnt to love now. Shuichi was so precious to him now. Shuichi was…his life…his everything. Shuichi was his. He was not going to lose his possession.
"…I…I…am…so…sorry…" Shuichi blurted out sadly.
"Shit…" Yuki hated himself now. Why the hell did he raise his voice? Shuichi was inflicted with enough pain already. Why the heck did he shout at him to hurt him even more now?
"…So…Sorry…*sob*" Shuichi could sense Yuki's annoyance without even seeing him.
"Hell…can you stop apologizing for a minute?" It was Yuki's fault.
"…*sob*…so…sorry…" Shuichi could not stop crying…nor apologizing.
"FUCK!" Yuki banged the coffee table hard. He was definitely exasperated now. This was making him a moronic bastard.
"…Yu…Yuki…I…I…am…ugh…"
Yuki grabbed Shuichi for a buss before he could continue his apologies. This had been and was the only way to stop Shuichi from talking. But the kiss deviated its objective to an expression of love and passion between the two lovers later, leaving both of them swooned breathlessly.
"…Shuichi…" Eiri whispered softly to Shuichi's right ear after they broke the kiss for a warm hug.
"…Yuki…I really don't want to go for the op…" Shuichi's tears had stopped but he was still trembling hard.
"…Why…?" Yuki asked gently, working hard to suppress his frustration. "Didn't you just say you want to do it three days ago? Why do you want to back out now?"
"…Yuki…I…I don't…know…I…I…"
Yuki caressed Shuichi even tighter as a sign of comfort so that Shuichi would continue his reasons.
"…I don't have…the confidence anymore…After all this had happened…I don't have confidence anymore…I am scared…I can't see now…I am really scared that I will not even be able to feel Yuki anymore. I am scared that I will not be able to hear Yuki anymore. I…I…don't have the…confidence…I…" Shuichi could not longer continue. He hugged back as tight in order to control his tears from flowing. He had cried enough already.
A long silence fell before Yuki pushed Shuichi aside, inserted his hand into his pocket, and brought out what seemed to be a small blue cubic box with an ocean blue ribbon tight neatly on top.
"Feel this?" Yuki placed the box on Shuichi's hands gently and started untying the ribbon slowly.
"Open it." Yuki said faintly after Shuichi acknowledged feeling the box and he had finished undoing the knot.
Shuichi lifted the top and felt its content to be something cold and sharp with a round contour of some metal below it. He knew what it was even without his eyes.
"Yu…Yuki…?" His voice trembled more than ever.
Yuki removed the diamond ring from the box and put it on Shuichi's left ring finger before giving him another embrace.
"I need you…Shuichi." He breathed into Shuichi's ear again before having se…no…making love to him.
*** ***
"Wait here. I'll be back in a moment." Yuki Eiri ordered before going to the reception counter to fill in Shuichi's particulars.
Yes, Shuichi was going for the op…after much persuasion from his family, colleagues, Hiro and of course Yuki. Come to think of it, it seemed that Yuki's ring was the one that did almost three-quarters of the persuasion. Shuichi was sitting obediently on the bench beside the first floor's automatic drink vending machine. He almost got himself lost twice this week already due to his handicap. He knew he had to be obedient now. A week of blindness…Shuichi had experienced so much this week. Fear, love, anger, happiness, desolation and joy.
"Who's there?" Shuichi sensed the presence of someone nearby. His other senses had been more sensitive after losing his sight.
"…How are you? Shindou-san."
"…Se…Seguchi-san…" Shuichi was rather shocked to know Tohma was here. He took off his shades, grabbed his walking stick and stood up abruptly. It had always been his habit to tense up when knowing Seguchi Tohma was here.
"Please sit down…I'll leave after I finish what I have to say." Tohma, in his usual fluffy wardrobe, helped Shuichi back to his seat gentlemanly.
"…Yes…Seguchi-san?" Shuichi asked after being seated again.
"Leave…"
"Huh?"
"Leave Eiri now."
To be continued…