Fandom: Fruits Basket
Title: music without words.
Pairing: Hatsuharu x Yuki
Rating: PG
Description: (Au-ish) Yuki has finally told Tohru how he feels about her, but how is Hatsuharu going to handle it?
Disclaimer: Yui doesn't own Fruits Basket. This is just an appreciation for it.
music without words.
by miyamoto yui
Chapter 7 – I can't think of anything better to talk about
"Ah…" Taking off his hand from my shoulder, he concentrated on the sight before him. "Haru, you may not be good with directions, but you seem to be focused more than most people at this time of their life."
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean is that you know the flip sides of the coin. You only know the extremes because you know exactly what you love and because of that, you know exactly what you fear."
I just looked at him, not really understanding what he meant.
"This is one thing Akito doesn't know yet."
I was half-surprised, yet half-not-surprised that he'd replied in a similar way and with the same message as Hatori.
"I don't know about that."
"Sometimes, a person is blind to what they see and what they want to see." Smiling at me, he continued, "Haru, we all know you have two sides. And yet, you're not ashamed of these sides of yourself. Why? Because they are a part of you.
"You also understand what can be controlled and what cannot. For that alone, I commend you. But for being able to get this far in life, even if you're hurt, you still choose to go on."
Sighing, he looked away. "Some are not so brave."
Was I really as brave as they were thinking?
I wonder…
I'm still not convinced of it myself.
He put his index finger to his mouth slyly. "I will tell you something that I've never told anyone, but I will tell you."
I nodded my head politely.
"Once, I had a crush on someone." He started to laugh as soon as he said that while looking up through the leaves of the trees above us. "I would watch them for the longest time from afar. I know it seems out of character, doesn't it? Shigure, the person who loves to play practical jokes, especially about love lives, can't live up to this in his own life.
"I saw this person talk and talk to people about many things and I was fascinated about how this strange person could just come up with these stories. But I liked these stories, no matter how far-fetched they were.
"And because of that person, I became a novelist. An odd one at that, but hey, it's not like writers aren't screwy anyway, right? My point is that person changed my life, but they never knew about it.
"When we became friends, we talked day after day about all sorts of things. We'd tease one another, but sometimes, I meant what I said when it looked like I half-joked."
"What do you mean by that?" I tilted my head while keeping my eyes focused on him.
"I said things like, 'Don't get with anyone unless they meet my approval.'"
"What's wrong with that? Friends almost always say things like that."
Okay, so I didn't always express my opinions aloud, but I was pretty sure a lot of people did feel this way about their friends. They're just looking out for their well-being, right?
Shigure shook his head. "No, not all friends. For a little while, I was jealous. That's why I said that."
I nodded my head trying to comprehend his story.
"I was jealous because this person was admiring someone else."
For a second, I looked away from Shigure knowing full well what that meant.
"I couldn't do anything about it. I was scared what my feelings would lead to. It would not only ruin our friendship, but it would ruin our lives once Akito knew I favored someone more than anyone else."
With a deep sigh, he finally said, "It seems you and I have the same problem."
I was still confused as I watched his eyes betray a sense of sorrow I rarely saw.
"You love Yuki…but I've admired that stupid Ayame longer than you've been alive."
My eyes blinked at him in shock. Okay, so I didn't expect that one at all…
I didn't know what to say, but he didn't let me.
Sighing, he put his hands on his knees and looked up to the sky again. "It was the same when Kyou never wanted to show his other form, but when Tohru saw it, she accepted it. In the end, she did.
"At the time, though, I apologized to her. I told her I was sorry for putting such trust on her, not because I wanted her to fail, but I'd truly believed in her. The fact was that I still allowed that responsibility to be put on her shoulders was wrong, though, when she didn't know the consequences or all the details. It was unfair to her."
We were silent once more.
"Do you know what I'm trying to say? These stories may be different, but they're not." Shigure shook his head. "No, they're not. Haru, you accept Yuki for who he is. And you've already accepted who you are. You know you don't need anyone else's approval for any of these things.
"And because of that, you were strong enough to get past that obstacle that Kyou and I couldn't go through for such a long time. Kyou got over it, but I didn't want to put Ayame in that type of position.
"And now, you're in Tohru's situation. You don't have to be. You shouldn't bear this alone. I know you're not planning to tell Yuki, but it's unfair to him.
"I don't have any control over that though. This is your decision. I may not fully understand what's happening, but I know this isn't heading anywhere wonderful. I will just trust and believe in you, Haru."
I lifted up my head and smiled at him. "Thank you."
"Everyone just has their own way to do things and live. And this is yours." Smiling, he scuffed my hair again. Once, he told me he liked doing that because he was boring for having a normal hair color.
We walked back into the house to find Momiji hiding behind Tohru and laughing at Kyou while Yuki sipped his tea calmly on the table. When they saw us, Momiji waved while Tohru greeted us back.
Kyou eyed Momiji as I sat by Yuki.
Shigure, evil as he was, went back to his ever silly disposition and asked, "And who's wallet is this?"
I pouted when I saw him raise my black leather wallet to the air. "Give."
He teased, "Prove it."
Pouting even more, my face became redder. I crawled over and whispered into his ear.
"It has a picture of Yuki when he was little?" Shigure said aloud as I glared at him.
My face became super red and I immediately turned away from Yuki's direction.
I heard Yuki spit out some of his tea and the rest of the house became quiet.
Well, for a full second before they pushed me out of the way while Tohru said, "I want to see!"
Momiji bounced up and down. "Me too!"
Kyou, who had stayed in his place and folded his arms, saying, "There's nothing special. He's just shorter."
I glanced over at Kyou, eyeing him and laughing with a smug look. "Well, just compare it to the picture of I have of you and Momiji."
"How'd you even get them to take a pic?" Shigure, who was still holding the wallet, rubbed his chin and looked at me curiously.
"I didn't." I took my wallet from his hand.
Blushing a shade darker than before, I opened the wallet and showed a picture of Momiji. He was three-years-old and wearing a white bunny suit, but the right ear would flop onto one side of his face. "I asked him for a picture when he was little if I gave him this large piece of candy."
"Aww…" Tohru commented as she peered at it.
I flipped to the next picture. "I found this somewhere in the main house, but I'm not saying anything else."
It was Kyou looking at the camera with this great big happy smile, but someone was holding out their hands to him.
"Whose hand is this?" Shigure asked as he pointed at it.
"That's Kagura."
Kyou had a soft expression on his face, then gave a side glance at his own pic. "Geh."
They were expecting a picture of Yuki to be the next one, but I told them, "No, this is Hatori when he had both of his eyes."
He was in his clinic with Kana next to him. She was shaking her head while laughing that she didn't want to take a candid shot. Hatori was smirking, doing nothing about it.
"It took me the longest time to get this picture. I stole the camera from Hatori, and even though he lectured me, he still got the picture done for me."
Grinning proudly, I flipped to the last picture in my wallet. "This was Yuki with a yukata on."
All of them looked at it, but Yuki glanced at the picture and then at me.
It was the same yukata he had on when I saw him at the window. Here, he was looking out the window with a soft smile while gazing up into the sky.
"Why do you have pictures of them in your wallet?" Tohru asked. "And they're all so cute!"
"They're my family…" I softly said.
+/+/+/+/+/
Later that night, Yuki remembered something and said to me, "Oh, I have to show you something."
I followed him to his room. He went over to one drawer and took something out. When I closed the door, he turned to me.
"Okay, so I wasn't really coordinated when I took the picture. And it's crooked," I started to say, but I lost my words when Yuki shook his head with a smile. As he walked up to me, he kind of did something unexpected.
Yuki brought out a crumpled paper and handed it to me. I looked at it weirdly as I began to unwrap it. Then, I just stared at it.
"Do you remember this, Haru? You couldn't buy me a gift when we were little and then you made this picture for me?"
Dumbstruck, I just looked at him, not believing that he had it with him all this time.
"I didn't give this to you because I thought it was dumb."
"I found it crumpled, but I kept it all these years. After all, it was addressed to me." Yuki sighed as he remembered while not looking at me and focused on the floor. "It wasn't dumb."
I looked at him and then at the picture of a child who was smiling while holding a rat.
"If only Hatori knew how I felt when he erased the memories of my classmates…"
With tears in his eyes, he jumped into my arms while holding onto my shoulders tightly. "You baka. Did you really carry that picture of me in your wallet for this long?" he asked while sniffing a little.
Holding him in my arms while patting his hair, I nodded my head.
Then, he whispered the exact same sentence as when I'd told Tohru about how I had fallen in love with him. Sincerely and warmly, he asked me, "Couldn't you have found anything else to talk about?"
I laughed while smiling. This time, I replied,
"Nope. I can't think of anything better to talk about."
Tsuzuku…
-
Author's note: * sighs * I'm sorry I'm making Yuki really angsty, but I think it fits here because with Tohru and Haru, he can be honest with himself. They're two people who accept him for who he is, so he's able to freely say as he pleases without the restraints he puts on himself when he's around other people.
But isn't this so cute?!