Fandom: Fruits Basket
Title: music without words.
Pairing: Hatsuharu x Yuki
Rating: PG
Description: (Au-ish) Yuki has finally told Tohru how he feels about her, but how is Hatsuharu going to handle it?
Disclaimer: Yui doesn't own FruBa.
music without words.
By miyamoto yui
Chapter 8 – I chose to.
Before we knew it, it was the weekend and Momiji and I were planning on staying over at Shigure's house. But instead of walking over, Hatori offered to drive us there.
As I was heading for the car, Akito hung out of his window. Looking up, he smiled while stretching his arms forward as if he were exercising. I just passed through without an expression on my face and carried my things to the car.
I bet he was dying there, though. He may have kept Kureno-san away from all of us, but Hatori was the one he always screamed for.
I wondered if someone could be that sick and have that much energy to be able to observe everything around him with such sadistic vigor. He may have been quiet most of the time, but it was as if he was storing up all his energy to be that powerfully violent later on.
I just figured that this was his own way of being jealous and showing affection.
Momiji wasn't there when I got to the car, and so, I stood there patiently next to Hatori as he folded his arms while smoking a cigarette.
"You really didn't have to take us. But thanks."
He just continued to smoke.
But after a minute of silence, he said, "If you need help, just ask, Haru."
I looked at him and was about to say something, when Momiji ran over and shouted, "Akito's calling for you, Hatori!"
Hatori immediately dropped his cigarette, smashed it under his shoe, and ran towards Akito's room. I watched him from behind and still tried to deny what I was thinking.
Instead, I found myself honestly confessing to Momiji as he put his stuff into the car, "Akito really does love Hatori, doesn't he?"
He just turned his head to observe me for a moment. "Why couldn't you ask the question that was right in front of you, Haru?"
I looked at him in a bit of astonishment. Because in all the years I had known him, he'd never answered me like that. He turned away from me, going into the car before I could say anything else.
+/+/+/+/+/
When we got to Shigure's, Momiji immediately called out before taking off his shoes, "We're here!"
Tohru had just finished making some brownies in the kitchen. She came into the living room, smiling while holding out her oven mittens and the pan in front of her. "Good timing!"
I still had my bag over my shoulder and Momiji and eyed each other with look that said, "Eat first or put our stuff in the rooms?"
Hatori got the first brownie.
As we were going to politely say we were going to put our stuff upstairs, Yuki took a brownie and held out his other hand for us to stop for second. Eating only half of one, he walked past me, shoved the other half into my mouth. "You're with me this time."
For a second, I blanked out. Well, it was more of blushing and staring at him as if he'd gone crazy.
Of course, some really bad part of me thought, "Kamisama…he's so hot when he's aggressive."
Keeping calm, I just nodded.
Accusingly, Kyou pointed at Yuki. "I can't believe I lost rock, paper, scissors!"
"Huh?"
So much for Yuki wanting me in his room. Then again, that'll always be a fantasy.
I went upstairs with Momiji to put our stuff down. When we came back downstairs, I got another brownie and poked Kyou on the shoulder. "Rock, paper, scissors?"
"Yuki said he was sick of me getting my way, so Shigure suggested that we have a rock, paper, scissors game to settle who gets who as their roommate."
"Really?" I blinked at him.
He growled. "I played to get you so that I wouldn't be with Momiji, but that damn Yuki still won!"
That was when he sighed and hung his head.
I laughed. "God, you're awful."
"Shut up."
I still couldn't believe they did that. ^^;;;
+/+/+/+/+/
For the rest of the night, we played poker. Everyone was pretty good, but for some strange reason, Kyou was really good today. He couldn't beat Yuki, though.
Still, the weirdness that had me wondering if the turning of the world was kind of off, it was really blatant here as we sat around the table.
I was next to Momiji, looking at everyone's faces. I wanted to remember this moment and be grateful that there was this moment in the first place. These faces that were laughing and joking and I was included in that warm enjoyment.
Tohru was in between Kyou and Yuki, and I wondered if Kyou had said anything to Tohru. Did anyone else know what happened? That there was something different?
Should I even be questioning this because I didn't say anything at all about what was happening to me?
The more I studied Yuki's face, I knew there was still someone I couldn't reach. There was something about him being next to Tohru that made him different. He acted in a way that I was a little unaccustomed to.
He was a little more comfortable with her than he was with me.
Okay, so I was still a bit jealous. And hurt that he didn't look at me with the same concerned and affectionate expression he gave her.
When everyone got tired, we almost passed out because we were so fatigued, but we managed to get to bed. Hatori left and the house was tranquil after a long while. However, I just stared at the ceiling with eyes that were wide awake. I wasn't sleepy at all.
I gulped.
I only had one more week.
I then turned over to watch Yuki, even if his back faced me. After a couple of minutes, luckily, he turned and faced me even though he was obviously sleeping.
Reaching out, I cupped my hand over his cheek. Intently, I looked at him, but sighed too.
Tears began to well up in my eyes as I watched his serene face.
Even though he couldn't hear me, I whispered, "Let me stay with you."
But I couldn't tell him, "I will make you happy."
I want to…
I want to so much…
Unable to stand myself, I got up and went to the back porch. Sitting on the ledge, I looked up to the sky, trying to find an answer.
Of course, there were no answers. There would just be questions.
What the hell was I doing?
I'm…
I'm not supposed to die in a week.
Other people get to choose the way they live, but how come we don't? Why are we punished for being the way we are?
These questions have always come to me time and again, but now, I could feel my heartbeats become faster and faster as I thought of each one.
Creak.
Someone opened their lips to ask, "Why did you leave me?"
But I thought you were in a deep sleep!
I turned to find Yuki behind me.
Funny, this question sounded more like an Akito question than a Yuki one. And yet, it was Yuki who had asked it.
Because I was already disturbed by my own thoughts of death, I looked at my angel and the first thing I thought but dared not say was, "That depends if you could learn to love me…"
Carefully, I looked away, answering, "I chose to."
The answer was too deep…
"I don't understand why you're so serious." He came closer to me and placed his hand on my shoulder. "Now I know you really need to sleep, Haru."
"I can't go to sleep right now." I smiled while patting his hand and then letting go of it. "Just go back to bed, Yuki. I'll be back there in a bit."
He shook his head and I sighed. I stood up knowing that once he got this stubborn, he wouldn't let me do anything until he got his way.
We walked back to his room, but as I was about to go into my futon, Yuki shook his head. Motioning for me to come to his futon, I silently complied. I was so confused when he wrapped his body around me as if I were a teddy bear.
Yuki whispered into my ear as he was falling asleep, "I just had a nightmare, Haru. I…I thought you left me behind and I didn't know where you were."
"And what did you do?"
"I searched and searched for you, but I couldn't find you." He sleepily blinked his eyes at me and closed them again. "That's why I have to make sure you're here when I wake up…"
Then, he fell asleep.
Comforted by his words, shortly after him, I was able to go to sleep too.
Tsuzuku…
-
Author's note: Well, this was an awkward moment. I'm getting along with the story. I just hope I'm not going to stumble on a writer's block.