Fandom: Fruits Basket
Title: music without words.
Pairing: Hatsuharu x Yuki
Rating: PG
Description: (Au-ish) Yuki has finally told Tohru how he feels about her, but how is Hatsuharu going to handle it?

Disclaimer: you know what should be here. I don't own this.

music without words.
by miyamoto yui

Chapter 9 – Dekinai yo! (You can't!)

When I opened my eyes, I found Yuki staring at me.

"Good morning?" I greeted.
He nodded. "Good morning."
Nervously, I glanced from side to side. "Um, did I do something wrong?"
"No," he replied, but he kept on looking at me with sleepy eyes and then smiled.
I closed my eyes again to enjoy being held by him so warmly.

"You know what this reminds me of?"
"Nope."
"There was one time when you were sick and I came to visit you."
"You did?" I thought about it for a moment, but couldn't recall a thing. "I don't remember."

"Of course you don't. You were sleeping." He laughed. "I told the nurse to let me take over for an hour and she let me.
"Then, you called out my name saying, 'I want to eat strawberries with you, Yuki.' I had to admit that that was kind of weird because you were talking in your sleep and somehow you knew I was there.
"I answered, 'Yes, we should.' But you frowned and I asked, 'Why are frowning?' 'You're cold, Yuki.' I didn't understand what was happening. 'I'm cold?'
"'Your hand is cold. I'm holding your hand but you're so cold.'"

I blushed thinking about what other things I could've said all these years and never knew. I buried myself under the pillow.
"What's wrong, Haru?" He pushed the pillow away.
"You were there and you heard me…" was all I could say.
"I hugged you that day. You woke up for a bit and saw me, but I knew for sure you were so tired that you wouldn't remember." Chuckling a little, he said, "Before I went away, you asked me, 'Be here when I wake up.' And I was, but if I stayed longer, I would have gotten in trouble."
"I'm only going to ask you this once, Yuki…"

Doki, doki…
Taking a deep breath, I looked at him. "If the circumstances were different, do you think…"
Dokidokidoki…

I shook my head.
I shouldn't have asked this question. It wasn't a fair one.

He looked at me so intensely, but I just laughed it off. "I had it, but I forgot!"

Yuki's affection for me is different than how I feel for him. This is how it should be. For if I complicate his life by trying to ask a question that shouldn't be asked in the first place, then I wasn't going to ask it.
I wasn't deciding for him that I wouldn't tell him the circumstances of what was going to happen by the end of next week, but that I wanted him to choose by himself.

I want you to choose me, even if I had said nothing to you.
Even if you never knew that I loved you all this time.

"Yuki! Haru!" Momiji shouted and burst into the room. "It's time for breakfast! Hatori's gonna drive us to the beach in an hour!"
Comically, I immediately went to the window and stretched while Yuki pretended to have just woken up, complete with the half-awake eyes.

+/+/+/+/+/

Chaotic as it was, Hatori brought us all to the private beach house that belonged to our family. And it was Shigure who put his hand over his eyes to block the sun and comment, "We should come here more often!"

After putting our stuff down, we changed and went to the beach. Momiji ran to the ocean while Tohru followed after him. Kyou and Yuki walked behind her as I set up my towel and got a tan.
Hatori and Shigure were sitting in the backyard patio table and watched us. Most likely, they were talking to one another.

I watched Yuki, but I still couldn't believe how he still thought that he was unattractive. And here I was a bit hot and bothered with all that water all over his body.
"Sexy…" I found myself saying to myself.

After a while, Tohru came to sit next to me and patted my back. "Come on and swim with us!"
"Naw, I don't feel like swimming right now."

Good one, Haru.

"Why? The water's perfect."
With a deadpan expression, I replied, "Too much work."
She pushed my side with both of her hands, laughing. "You can't be that lazy."

All this time, I tried to figure out…
While she blinked at me, I finally understood her charm.

Why Yuki had fallen in love with her…

She went past the social barriers without thinking that they were there. Tohru couldn't see them, and yet even if she did, she didn't care too much.
Except, Yuki, doesn't that bother you a bit too?

"Oh yes I can."
But as we watched the others swimming and/or playing in the water, Tohru said, "I hurt Yuki."

Why?
Why are you telling me this now? And so suddenly?

"How did you do that?" I patted her shoulder.
"I rejected him after he bared his heart to me." She turned to me with a sad look in her eyes. "And I don't know how to feel…"

God, this hurts to hear…

"Why?" I pulled her head to my shoulder so that she wouldn't start to cry.
"He was saying that maybe we should get together while we're in college because he cared for me so much. He said he couldn't live without me." She shook her head. "And he was so sure about that.
"I got scared. I need time and space to think about this. I like him too, but not as much as he likes me. It wouldn't be fair to him if I didn't feel like he does."

We both sighed, but for different reasons.

"Tohru, I've always wanted to know, and you don't have to answer me, but do you like Yuki or Kyou better?"
She looked into my eyes. "At this moment….I…I don't know. I knew this time would come someday, but I didn't want it now. I need more time to think about it."
I patted her shoulder and rubbed her arm. "I know I'm biased, but I want to ask you something. I've never asked you anything, but I want to ask you a favor."
"Yes?"
"Promise me that you'll take care of Yuki. Whomever you choose, please tell me that you'll always be by his side. Whether as a friend or as his girlfriend."

She didn't question me, patting my hand even though she was confused. With reassurance that made me sigh inwardly with relief, she answered, "I will, Haru."
"Thank you."

It was then that she got up and we smiled at one another.
"Thank you to you too, Haru," Tohru stretched her arms out. "I really wanted to take that off my chest."
"No problem."
And with that, she went back to Kyou and Yuki.

I looked out into the ocean, but there was no Momiji. I became worried, until someone said in back of me, "I'm sorry I overheard your conversation."
My stomach churned. I closed my eyes before turning around with my usual calm face.

It was then that Momiji sighed as he whispered, "You coward, Haru."
"Huh?" I stood up as he began to shake violently. "What's wrong, Momiji?"

Without warning, his head shot up and he punched me in the face.

"Wh-what the hell?!" I shouted at the top of my lungs while some blood dripped from one side of my face as I slowly got up.
At that, he began to put his hands in fists, some tears were forming in his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?! Aren't I your best friend?! Why did I have to hear this story from 'Tori?!"
Taken aback, I took a long drawn out breath as his hurt eyes burned themselves into my brain.

Tohru and Momiji…
What a bitch Fate is!

"This is crazy…" he mumbled quietly as he shook his head. "Why can't we say anything against this? Why?!"
I stepped closer to him as he was trying to step away from me. "Momiji…I'm sorry…"

With tears falling from his eyes, he shouted, "You can't die, Haru!" Shaking his head again, he protested, "I won't let you! You can't, Haru!"
I started to say, "I…"

Except, nothing would come out. I could offer no explanation to him.

The others were starting to come over towards us.
At that, I just hugged him, smiling softly at him as he shook his head while pounding my chest. "IYADA!"
I began to cry.
He then pushed himself away from me. "Haru! I hate you, Haru!"
"Momiji…"
"You're the sweetest person I know! You can't die, Haru! You just can't!"

With all the things spinning in my head, before I knew what was happening, I watched him run away from me.

And I let him because I knew I couldn't stop him.
I didn't know how I could.

Tsuzuku…
-
Author's note: I know it may have seemed natural that I put Tohru as the one Haru should talk to about this situation since she is the main character of Fruits Basket, but I didn't want it like that. I love Fruits Baskets, but that was one thing I didn't like. The lessons on life were good, but were told to the audience. So, this time, I wanted Tohru to ask, and to be less perfect than she's represented in the series. (Please don't be offended by me. ^^;;;)

On the other hand, I was trying to be really emotional with Momiji because well, yeah, I love him a lot (the child I want to have if I ever bear one). But pushing that aside, Momiji was the one who was rejected from his mother and he's the one who still is courageous enough to hug Tohru because he wanted to be hugged. I felt that he is the closest to Haru, yet he should know a lot and is the best to represent the protest that Haru won't even admit to himself.