Fandom: Fruits Basket
Title: music without words.
Pairing: Hatsuharu x Yuki
Rating: PG
Description: (Au-ish) Yuki has finally told Tohru how he feels about her, but how is Hatsuharu going to handle it?

Disclaimer: Yui doesn't own fruba.

music without words.
by miyamoto yui

Chapter 11 – love to death

After dinner, we all played cards. It was really funny playing speed with everyone because they were all so…competitive? Hatori blinked his eyes whenever he won and Momiji would do this dance. Tohru would laugh as if it were luck while Yuki and Kyou would end in draws whenever they played against one another. As for myself, I'd blink out of surprise and smile, saying, "I actually won?"

Shigure and Hatori went to bed first and the rest of us followed. And just like yesterday, I had trouble sleeping so I went out to the sand and touched my feet to the waves coming in. I stood there looking out into the water thinking about the whirlwind of events for the day.

Momiji shouting at me couldn't be erased from my mind. But he was right when he said I was a coward.

Why had I been expecting this from the beginning?

"Shigure's terrible at changing the subject. You know that, Haru," Kyou said as he came to stand beside me. He sighed, rolling his khaki's up to mid-calf. "I'll keep on bugging you until you tell me."
Putting his hands into his pockets, he waited for an explanation.

Why was my secret gradually coming out?

"How do you feel about Tohru, Kyou?" I questioned as I turned to his direction.
His face turned bright red like whenever he got mad and he lifted his chin, scoffing. "I'm not here to talk about myself."
"If you don't answer, I can't give you a good explanation, Kyou. I'm not trying to be difficult. If I was, I would just challenge you to a fight right now to avoid talking about it altogether."
He bit his lip and then pouted. Blushing even more than before, he answered with a grudge, "I like her…I like her a lot."
"Why do you like her?"
His eyes became soft when he replied, "I like the way she talks. She thinks that she doesn't know what to say, but somehow, because she's honest, her message gets through."
Kyou laughed. "One time, she told me that people are like onigiri. I really thought she was stupid for that one until she mentioned that people can't see their good traits because only the other onigiri can see what's on your back."
I smiled at him as I folded my arms over my chest.

His answer was so different from Yuki's…
…and yet they didn't realize that they loved her for similar reasons too.

"You know the story about Yuki being my first love."
He nodded. "I can't believe you fell for him. No offense to you, but I still don't get the guy-guy stuff."
"No offense taken." I took a step forward, feeling the freezing cold water calm my nerves and the warmth spreading throughout my body over just talking about Yuki. It was a subject I hardly shared to anyone. "But just like Tohru, that's the way I feel about Yuki. Yuki is all the things I can't be, but I love him so much because he only wants to become better everyday. He taught me that. To look beyond what I'm told to be."
"But why did Momiji get mad at you? Why was he shouting?"
"I'm pretty sure Hatori's told Shigure by now and he's already told Momiji." I faced him. "And I'm going to tell you now, but you have to protest not to do anything about it. You will just listen and accept it."
He looked at me blankly. "I don't like the sound of this…"
"Just promise me, Kyou. You take this to your grave."
Slowly, he nodded his head reluctantly.
"You know I went to Akito's about a month ago, right?"
He bobbed his head up and down. "Was it the night you and Yuki were talking?"
"Yes. And because I was too honest with my feelings towards Yuki, Akito got mad."
"The usual reaction."
"We made a promise that if Yuki falls for me, then we can go on as an accepted couple in his eyes."
"And the catch is…"
"The catch is that if Yuki doesn't fall for me, I have to kill myself, Kyou."
Stunned, his eyes just stared at me.

I had expected him to shout at me and beat me up like Momiji, but somehow, this was much more painful.

"That's why Momiji did what he did…" he trailed off while his eyes kept their gaze on me. "I can't blame him for what he did."
With a scathing tone, he said. "My mother did that. Camouflaging kind words for fear. Pretending to love me when she was only afraid I'd hurt her."
With disbelief in his clear eyes, he continued to scold me, "Why? Whenever someone says that they love something or someone, do they say that they love them to death?"
He pushed me away.

"Let me tell you something, she was wrong and you're wrong! Kana-san was wrong and so was Momiji's mother! They were cowards!" He sighed in frustration. "I used to be scared of myself too! But I learned that it's harder to live with no one by your side and when you push everyone away. You shouldn't ever forget what makes you, you!"
"Kyou…" I tried to reaching out for him, but he turned his back to me.
"I've always admired you, Haru. For always knowing what you wanted from life." Glancing back at me, he shook his head. "I've always you seen you as my little brother. So why are you giving up now?"

His hands clenched into fists and one hand grabbed my collar. He shook me violently with a tear falling from his eye. "I'm disappointed in you, Haru. I thought you were tough."
I swallowed what he said as I watched the waves come back and forth while he silently stomped away from me.

My knees wobbled and gave out. I fell as the ocean waters covered me with their frigid hands. I put my hands into the water, grabbing for the muddy sand.
I couldn't see my reflection in front of me and my eyes wouldn't let me cry any more tears.

Why was it the people I was trying to protect the most were the ones I'd hurt with all my silent might?

Tsuzuku…
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Author's note: Okay, so I made Kyou also very strong with his words too. I thought he should have said what he did in this fic because of his own experiences.