Dedicated to ndblue 123.
And a note to Heidi. I did remember that Genovia was a principality, not a kingdom, but I chose to ignore that. Simply because 'The Queen Diaries' is far catchier than 'The Princess Diaries the older version'. Thanks for pointing it out though! *Gives Heidi a big cookie'.
Chapter 8
Friday 16th April: Manhattan Hospital: 12:30.
Still Lilly here. Mia's still out of it. But she got through surgery. A broken arm and a couple of ribs. Cracked a few teeth, but they've been repaired. She had damage to her chest and liver too, but they operated and she's ok. But that's not the worst bit.
She lost the baby.
They just told Michael. Dad had to take him outside for a bit. Why is this happening to us? It's not fair! Mia has always been the nicest person EVER. She was finally completely happy and this had to go and happen. The Ball has been cancelled of course. Vigo and Sebastiano are heading back to Genovia to tell the government. Mia's gotten loads of flowers and balloons and stuff. The press aren't allowed inside, but they've been hanging around outside all day. I know that as a member of the press I shouldn't say this, but they're starting to bug me. Why can't they just leave her alone for 5 minutes?
René flew back to France. He's in deep, deep trouble. The press have been at him ever since the accident. He's been banned from Genovia for life. I'm not surprised.
Danae is crying, with Helen. Frank is walking up and down, and looking at his watch. Tina and my Mom are talking in whispers. This is horrible. I hate it. Boris took Michelle home earlier.
We're not allowed to see Mia yet. She's only just come out of surgery. She's been in there for about 18 hours.
Frank and Danae are leaving. Someone has to feed Fat Louie.
I'll write more later.
Manhattan Hospital: 4:30Michael and Helen are in with her now. She's still unconscious, but Michael was desperate to see her. He wants to be there when she wakes up. Lars is here with us. He's completely ashamed of himself. Tina's trying to cheer him up. It so totally wasn't his fault. It was that bastard, René's.
Helen's just said that we can see her now. She's still out, but I think just seeing her is going to reassure us.
My (Lilly's) Home: 8:45 pmNothing to report really. It's weird; normally I can talk at length about just about anything. But right now I can barely get a thought through my head. Mom and Dad say its just shock. I'm going to bed.
Saturday 17th April: Manhattan Hospital: 3:30pm.
It's me. Mia.
I just don't know what to say. What can I say? I'm alone right now. Michael's gone home for a bath. I sent him, he totally stank.
He told me about the baby.
I can hardly think. One minute it was growing inside of me, the next gone. And all because I was so stupid. Michael keeps saying it was a brave thing to do. That I saved his life. And I know I did, but I feel so empty and sad.
But I can't even cry. I want to cry so badly, and I can't. Kind of ironic, since that's what I spent the last two days doing.
It's really a good job I broke my left arm instead of my right, so at least I can still write. The only way I can get out how I feel. I'll have to thank Lilly later for keeping an update.
Lars came to see me earlier. He said he wanted to resign, that he'd failed me. I told him to shut up. What I need right now is someone strong who I can rely on, and that's him.
The doctors say I can go on Monday. I've got to postpone my return to Genovia. The government sent me a letter saying not to worry, that they have everything out of control.
Huh.
I just want to kick something so badly; I just hate feeling this way! I'm so angry. At myself for jumping in front of the bus. At the doctors for not saving my baby. At Lars for not stopping the fight. At Michael for fighting in the first place. Ditto for René.
But I know there is no one to blame. I think that is why I feel so bad.
Every inch of me hurts. The pain is gnawing at me. Painkillers, my ass.
I so can't wait to get out of here.
Manhattan Hospital: 5:30I'm the most ungrateful, selfish person ever. Michael just came to see me. Here's how the conversation went.
Michael: Hey.
Me: Hi
Michael: How are you feeling?
Me: Like I jumped in front of a bus.
(Michael tries to laugh, fails, clears his throat and sits down.)
Michael: Is there anything you need?
Me: No. Thanks.
Michael: Mia, I'm so sorry. If I hadn't been fighting…
Me: It was René's fault. Not yours.
Michael: But I shouldn't have hit back.
Me: It happened. We can't change that. We can't change anything.
Michael: About the baby… do you want to talk about it?
Me: No.
Michael: Mia-
Me: Michael, I just want to be left alone, OK? I'm going back to Genovia as soon as I can. I just want to…
Michael: Pretend it never happened? Well, it did Mia. And running away isn't going to change that.
Me: I don't care. I want to get away from all of this. I wish I'd never come back.
Michael: (Staring at me in disbelief) What?
Me: You heard. Ever since I came here I've been through nothing but stress and pain. And this was the last straw. I'm going back to Genovia, ASAP.
Michael: Mia, you can't. I love you, we're engaged-
Mia: Michael, we can't do this. We've been together twice, and both times disaster has struck. I don't believe in third time lucky. Because nothing is lucky when you're a Queen. I'm sorry, but we are not meant to be together. I mean, just look at us.
Michael: Mia-
Me: I'm sorry. But think about it. You've had trouble dealing with press for a couple of weeks. I have to deal with that every single day. So you should take this and go.
And then I handed him the ring, and rolled over so I didn't have to look at him. So I'm ungrateful, selfish, and a coward. Great.
Anyway, Michael didn't say anything for a few minutes, and then he left.
I hate myself.
Sunday 17th April: Manhattan Hospital: 10:30 am
I've just had a succession of friends and family, trying to convince me to reconsider my earlier decision. Why can't anyone see it from my point of view? I've been going through so much and no one is even trying to understand. It's so not fair.
I'm still really sore. I've got a cast on my arm, and my chest hurts like hell. I've got some oxygen things to use if I get short of breath though. My face is all bruised and cut. It's totally gross.
I rang the Genovian government earlier. I told them that I'm returning on Tuesday.
"Your Majesty, are you sure that's safe?"
"No, but I've got to get back. I can't stay here any longer."
"Very well. We shall prepare for your return."
"No. No publicity. No press. I just want to get back." I said firmly.
Lars recommended that I give a short conference before going back. I'm having it tomorrow, as soon as I'm allowed to leave.
I asked Lars what he thought I should do. He just said,
"It's up to you. You will make the right decision."
Gee, that was a lot of help. Thanks Lars.
There goes my self-actualisation.
Monday18th April – Plaza
I just had the press conference. It totally sucked.
Reporter #1: Your Majesty, can you tell us why you have decided to go home so quickly after your accident?
Me: Things have gotten a little too stressed. I need to go home and sort things out.
Reporter #2: Will you be pressing charges against the bus company?
Me: Absolutely not. It was total accident.
Reporter #3: What about Prince René?
Me: René has been given an official ban from Genovia. He has been overstepping the line for too long, and this was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Reporter #4: Are you going to continue to see Michael Moscovitz?
Me: No. I do not intend to return to New York for quite some time. I hope he finds someone to be happy with.
Reporter #5: What about your friends and family?
Me: They will come to visit me in Genovia. I've been neglecting my duties as Queen lately. It's time to go back and start taking responsibility. I'd also like to thank everybody for the flowers and balloons I was given at the hospital.
And that was basically it. Mom is really upset, so are Danae, Lilly and Tina. They're also mad at me for turning down Michael. But I don't care what they say. I don't care.
Do I?
It doesn't matter anyway. I'm leaving tomorrow. It's for the best. Let's face it. From the moment I got here I've been screwing things up. I'm just one huge failure.
Lars keeps telling me I'm not. But what does he know? He can't even tell me whether or not I should talk to Michael.
My arm really hurts. It's got to stay in its cast for six weeks. I'm feeling sore all over. I think I'll take a nap.
20th April – The Genovian Aeroplane – 1:45 pm.
I'm flying over the ocean now. I'm going back to Genovia.
When I was at the airport my family and friends came to say goodbye. Mom and Mr G both hugged me really tightly, until I reminded them about the broken ribs. Danae looked furious, and refused to speak to me. Lilly told me to keep in touch with her and Tina. I invited them all to Genovia whenever they felt like it; all they had to do was call.
Then, as I was looking down at them, just as the plane was going down the runway, I saw Michael standing there, just watching me. By that time the plane was just about to take off.
I could have told them to stop, to turn back.
But I didn't. I let them carry on. And now I'll probably never see him again.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know it looks bad, but do you really think I'm just going to leave them like this????
THINGS WILL GET BETTER!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry about the baby. Plot device, people, plot device!
Please review. I'm expecting a few flames, but don't feel that you have to!
Lotsa luv 'n' huggles
Katie