Dedicated to Lil Miss Its Me and Padfoot Luva1

Wow… I have never felt more hated in my life! I'm just surprised nobody actually flamed me! I've got so many threats, but the prize has to go to Lil Miss Its Me. She actually threatened to hunt me down! * Cowers in a corner *

Chapter 9

Palace: 2:30pm: my sitting room.

I'm back. Luckily there weren't any reporters, so it was a quick ride home yesterday. I'm feeling pretty down.

Not that it needed mentioning.

Sebastiano came by yesterday. He wanted to see how I was. He's going out of the country for a few days, some fashion thing he has to do. He was so sweet though. Cheered me up quite a lot.

I've got to go to the parliament tomorrow and sort out the bills or something like that. I really don't know what it's about. I also find myself deeply not caring.

Lars is pretty happy to be home. I think he misses being in Genovia. I'm not planning to leave it any time soon, so he'll be happy for a while at this rate.

Odes to Misery

Mia

Is

Stupid

Excepting

René's expulsion

Yay

My

Insignificant

Soul

Eases lack of

Rare

Young love

Maybe

I

Should

Eat

Red meat

Yuck

Ok, that last one was a little weird. I would so never eat red meat. Or white meat.

Michael

Is an

Exceptionally

Rare find

Yes?

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

… Yes.

I miss him so much. But then I think about everything that happened and it's like I want to hurl myself off the roof of the palace. But I wouldn't want to give the cleaners extra work.

Ode to Michael

Michael

Is

Cute

Huh

Also

Eats

Lamb

That was me trying to give myself reasons not to like Michael. So not working. I need to forget about him. Right! I'm going to forget about him! Starting right now!

… didn't work.

I'm just going to have to accept it, aren't I? Michael is gone. I screwed up big time. Huge time. I'll just have to get on with everything like I've done for eight years. I'd better get started on that humongous pile of paperwork. I'll write more tomorrow.

22nd April: Palace: 4:55 pm

I just got back from parliament. They're all quite angry about the whole newspaper thing. I am well aware that as a member of the Genovian Royal family I should maintain a presentable image. But everybody has his or her bad days. Mine just happens to be that little bit worse.

I really should ring Mom. But what would I say? Danae's ignoring me.  I don't know about Tina. Lars is playing chess and no one in their right mind distracts Lars while he is playing chess. Not unless you want an alarmingly large amount of bullets in your head. He gets really into it.

I wonder what Michael is doing right now. Probably getting over me. Correction, he's probably over me and getting on with his life like any self-actualised person would be doing right now.

The doctor is coming over today to analyse my injuries. Like I care. Why didn't they just let me die? It's not as if I would be missed.

God, looking back at what I've just written I have realised how depressing I am.

THINGS TO DO

1: Achieve Self-actualisation

2: Stop thinking about MM

3: Cheer up

4: Call someone

Palace: 5:30

I just spoke to Tina. She said,

"Mia, just call him."

"No, it's over. History. In the past."

"It's not that simple. Come on, so things took a down turn. You can't just run off back to Genovia whenever things look bad."

"I don't!"

"Tell me every single thing that went wrong in your relationship."

"How long have you got?" I said jokingly. She replied in this totally serious voice,

"As long as it takes. Now come on."

"OK. First is me losing our baby."

"And what did Michael say about that?"

"He said that happened wasn't my fault and that it didn't matter as long as we were together."

"Aw!" Tina sighed. I cleared my throat, trying to get her to focus.

"Sorry. Second?"

"I broke off the engagement."

"Why?"

"Because I was scared,"

"Of what?"

"Things going wrong."

"Right. Third?"

"I said that Michael wouldn't be able to deal with the press."

"OK. I have analysed all of this information and have come to a conclusion."

"And what's that?"

"You still love Michael, he loves you and you're meant to be together. When you lost the baby he was by your side the whole time. He wanted to stay with you and help you. When you broke off the engagement he was heartbroken. And from what I could see, the press wasn't a problem. Michael doesn't care about anything except being with you."

"Tina, it's too late. I've screwed up big time."

"And you're not even willing to try again? Go, Mia, you have changed. The old Mia wouldn't have given up that easily. Sure she might have thought about for a few hours before doing anything, but she got there in the end."

"Tina, that's not-"

"I've got to go Mia. I just hope you realise what you're giving up." And then she hung up. I couldn't believe it.

I still can't.

I've just let one of the best things of my life go without a fight.

I am an idiot.

Oh my god.

WHAT HAVE I DONE????!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????!!!!!

Palace: 6:30

I've just asked Lars to call the airport. I can't go until tomorrow because the jet's being refurbished.

I'm going back. I have got to find Michael and make this better. Because I realised what I was giving up. The one thing that can make me happy.

I've totally got to call Tina.

8:30

I called Tina.

"Hello?"

"Tina, it's me. I'm flying in tomorrow."

"Really? Oh Mia, I'm so glad you finally saw sense!"

"Listen, don't tell anyone, OK? If it doesn't work out I only want you and Michael to know."

"OK. I promise. Oh, I've got to go; I've got another call waiting. I'll see you soon!"

Lars is really happy. He keeps looking at me all secretively and smiling to himself. My bodyguard is so weird sometimes.

My arm is totally killing me. The doctor kept poking at it and it hurts a lot. He left me some more painkillers. I'm gonna be mistaken for a drug addict soon with the amount of pills I'm taking!

Ode to Happiness

Having

A

Perfect

Person

Is

Easily

Super

See?

OK, that was just weird. But who cares? I'm going back and I'm going to tell Michael that I love him.

Oh god. What if he doesn't want to know? What if he freaks out and tells me where to go?

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

WHAT AM I SAYING??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

Of course it's a good idea! It's what I have to do. And nothing is going to stop me!

NOTHING!!!!

Ooh, Baywatch is on.

23rd April: Palace: 10:30

 I'm leaving in exactly one hour from now. Lars is getting a bit jet-lagged. So am I, but I needn't care about that, for my heart is willing me on to fulfil my destiny, to seek out my one true love and tell him that I so totally love him too.

Starting to get a migraine. My arm hurts too. But who cares? I'm in love! And soon, I hope, Michael will know it.

I'd better get ready to go. Will write more later.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Well? I told you things would get better. At least Mia has received some brains! Thanks to all my reviewers, you're fantastic! I know that I haven't posted in ages, but I was on holiday for the past two weeks.

Lotsa luv 'n' huggles

Katie