Fandom: Fruits Basket
Title: music without words.
Pairing: Hatsuharu x Yuki
Rating: PG
Description: (Au-ish) Yuki has finally told Tohru how he feels about her, but how is Hatsuharu going to handle it?
Disclaimer: FruBa isn't mine.
music without words.
by miyamoto yui
Chapter 14 – onaji no chi. (the same blood.)
When we went back to the beach house, Yuki leaned down to kiss my wound while re-patching the bandage after I had taken a shower.
When Hatori came to pick us up that morning, Yuki was still taking a shower as I made us some tea. While pouring some in a cup for Hatori, he lit up a cigarette and puffed on it before asking, "I assume you've worked things out?"
Nodding slowly, I took a sip of my tea and looked out onto the patio instead of at him. If he asked me anything else, I would have been embarrassed to reply.
Sensing my apprehension, he didn't ask me anything further. He just sighed, lifting his cigarette to his lips. "Yuki knows. I can't imagine what will happen now."
He patted me gently on the head. "And I don't want to imagine what Akito will do when he finds out Yuki returns your feelings."
But when turned to stare out the patio, I noticed something on his neck.
In a snap, my eyes became suspicious as I pointed at the wound before me. "What's that?"
"Akito's love mark," Hatori replied without hesitation.
"Do you honestly love that bastard?" I asked while looking at him, baffled at this reality.
In response, Hatori just smirked at me while and took another puff of his cigarette. I didn't know what to make of that and I couldn't question him further as Yuki came down with his things, ready to go home.
+/+/+/+/+/
We were silent in the car, but as soon as we went through the front door, Momiji jumped into my arms. "Haru!"
I smiled as he patted my cheek softly. "I'm sorry about that."
I shook my head. "No, I needed it."
As we gathered for breakfast, Tohru and the others sat around the table. We ate until Momiji said, "I'm not beating around the bush. What are we going to do?"
"We can't exactly do anything to Akito," Kyou drank his miso soup. "And they can't run away. So, the only thing to do is endure it."
"But the terms were met," Tohru commented as she poured rice into her own bowl. She looked at Yuki and smiled at him quietly while the others wondered what to do.
"I know Akito the best," Yuki spoke up as he lifted up his chopsticks to eat his fish. "He will do his worst to get his way."
"Akito will do something regardless." Shigure agreed, taking a sip of his tea. "After all, Haru wasn't supposed to let Yuki know."
"How could I avoid that when all of you were talking?" I said in a monotonous tone.
We all sighed.
Hatori said, "Just do as you're told. If you guys get involved, it will only aggravate him more. The only thing I can advise is to just to do as Kyou said. Endure it."
"Thank you, everyone," I said with a smile as I looked at each of them. "But please, let's just make the best of what we have…"
I glanced at Hatori as he turned away from me. Somehow, I had a feeling he knew what the hell was going on…
And I didn't like it.
+/+/+/+/+/
When these things happen in some movie or tv show, you expect something spectacular to happen. You kind of wish you were on a show so that you wouldn't really have to feel your way through.
But this isn't made up. It's real.
And it's happening to me.
I went to school on Monday and as I had wished, things went as 'normal' as they possibly could. No one mentioned anything and we ate our lunch together. Yuki and I still hung out on the roof while looking down at the students playing different sports below us.
When I was going to ask him what he said on Saturday night, someone came to him with an emergency question regarding the student council. So, I was alone on the roof not knowing how to feel.
Why should I be punished for something like this?
Because I am under Akito's jurisdiction.
We of the zodiac may have human hearts, but we cannot completely control our own lives. That was for Akito to decide.
Long ago, there was a time when I looked at him in awe. I'd watch him when he went to look out the window. For some reason, he reminded me of Yuki.
There's a saying that when you look at some people, their beauty becomes enhanced the more you look at them. You want to look at them more and more. But then, there are people that you look at and even though they're beautiful, you're repulsed by it. You become disgusted by it.
That's how I looked at both Akito and Yuki.
They could have passed off for brothers just because of the way they looked, but I could see from Akito's eyes that he loved and despised Yuki for being his 'twin'. Yuki could do all the things he never could do, but he loved Yuki enough to give him the most attention.
Awful as it was for torturing him, this was Akito's form of love.
That's why I couldn't learn to look at him in any other way.
I feared him. I feared his way of affection.
So even though Momiji held my hand while going to school, he was completely quiet. Tohru tried her best to smile during lunch while Kyou punched me on the shoulder in frustration.
Yuki leaned his head on my shoulder and patted my knee. "There's nothing to be afraid of. Isn't that what you told me?"
I smiled as best as I could through all my nervousness.
And when we said goodbye to everyone, I calmly smiled. "I'll see you later."
Tohru started to cry and wouldn't look back at us while we parted ways. Momiji walked with Kyou and Tohru while trying to console Tohru.
He was the one with the strongest face for me.
That's why he was my best friend.
Yuki and I silently walked towards the main house, but Hatori picked us up in his car as soon as we turned one corner. Again, the frigid air among us was restless and wordless.
I took deep breaths while Yuki looked out the window. Poised as ever.
It made me wonder how long it must have taken for him to open himself up to be able to say anything that was in his head.
We entered through the gate and were instructed to go to Akito's room. Hatori was our grim reaper who led us through the familiar hallway that made everyone shudder. I often wondered what did Hatori think whenever he had to go to Akito.
How could he learn to be so patient with him?
Hatori opened the door and closed it behind him as Akito stood before us while we knelt to the floor. The leader of our clan analyzed us for a long minute and then smirked, tilting his head playfully. "Arrogant, are we?"
No one said anything, but I just kept my eyes clear and determined. I was looked straight at him with no shame on my face.
"You think Yuki loves you? We'll see." He knelt before me and took my chin. "We had some terms, Hatsuharu, and this is my first request: Yuki has to kiss me as if he were kissing you."
I twitched, glancing over at Yuki. "You said requests for me, not Yuki."
"I said I had requests, but I never said they all had to be done by you."
Yuki's hands became tight fists as he eyed Akito with hatred. I took a glimpse of Hatori, who seemed so indifferent when you looked at his face, but now I could tell. He was looking at Akito very closely while Akito himself stole a glance at Hatori, almost delighted at the response this had caused.
He knelt before Yuki and touched his face. "You don't have to do anything. Remember I told you that? But at the moment you defy me, I'll take away Honda-san."
My eyes opened widely as I looked at Yuki, who was avoiding my gaze as he stared straight into Akito's.
This was their agreement…?
Akito held Yuki's face like a fragile vase in his hands. Turning his head to me, he smiled triumphantly, "Honda-san came here without anyone knowing. And I said that if she took Yuki away from me, she would never see Yuki again. No one would."
I took a deep breath while Yuki still looked at Akito as if he'd instantly turned into stone.
He began to laugh. "I didn't tell her how…Oh, how fragile the human heart is when the object of their affections is in danger."
"So you see, Yuki?" He turned back to Yuki as he came closer to him. "The girl whose honesty you love, actually has lied to you. She pushed you away to save you. She really does love you. What do you say to that, Yuki? She was ready to marry you, asking me for permission without you knowing."
I held my breath and my heart began to become harder and harder…
That's why…
That's why she kept on crying…
She really did return his feelings…
Yuki appeared if he'd stopped breathing altogether.
I was so speechless that I shook my head. Looking at the tatami floor, I whispered, "Then why…why did you do all this?"
Then I shot a look at Hatori. My heart fell. "You knew…"
For the first time in my life, Hatori had lost his calmness. He averted his eye away from me in guilt.
"By the time this ends, I want to know who you want to live: Tohru or Haru." Caressing Yuki's cheeks, he said, "I want to see who you love the most. But no matter who lives, I want you to know you're always mine, Yuki."
Akito leaned forward, blinking slowly. "Didn't you know? Love is like music without words. It comes unexpectedly in a moment of inspiration, whatever that may have been triggered from.
"The instrumental is uncontrollable, and it's like karaoke. You know the words, and you can hear them in your head. It's just you can't sing them aloud. Even if they're right there on the screen.
"It's a beautiful, familiar melody, but it's so hard to follow. So cruel that it will rip your heart out by the time it is done."
And closing his eyes, he kissed Yuki on the mouth. Yuki lifted up his hand as began to push his shoulders to the ground.
He was actually kissing him back…
My eyes were plastered on them kissing.
But I was watching as if there were someone else inside of me…
Who was going to live, Tohru or me?
I watched them as I became numb from the inside out…
I realized it now. Sometimes the characteristics you hated about someone else were actually your own, but you're blind to them…
So this is what all of us in the zodiac had in common with our 'core'…
In this sense, I was no different than Akito.
With a self-mocking smile, I mumbled as if to myself,
"We're all the same. We would go so very far for the person we care for.
Even if it leads to our own self-destruction."
Tsuzuku…
-
Author's note: Twisted? You bet. I don't like making things too predictable or else it'd be boring, ne? How will I resolve this? Hee. I just hope I'm able to do it well.
I'm always weary of making a bad ending.