Pyromaniac: *Chuckles* Am I horrible at updating or what? But, it's really not my fault…*glares at the Acolytes playing strip poker* I blame my muses.
First order of business. New layout is finished. I just have to…you know, use it. A bunch of new thing is going to be added as well.
Second order of business. Updating is going to be much, much quicker. Buffy The Vampire Slayer is ending soon so I'll be able to be here, at the computer writing, instead of at one of my friend's house watching Buffy with the guys…can't wait! Not that I don't like Buffy or anything, it's just that I want to finish this story before summer. The odd thing this story was going to end in February. Heh, heh, my bad.
Third order business, X2. I just saw it, baby! I'm a bit disappointed that they took away Peter's and John's accents, though. I think you waited long enough, on with the story! BTW, this chapter was originally started by moi, but apparently I need to password protect my files because at some point Elle got a hold of this chapter. I am not responsible for the Eminem reference here… frankly I'm not sure who to blame for that. Now I have to change the rating to PG-13. Anyway here's the story. Elle's email is Shoujo_Kakumei_Elle@hotmail.com in case you want to flame her. He he, fire.
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Bayville Bowl-A-Roonie
"Crash, boom, bang!" Peter exclaimed, doing a little dance as the ball knocked all the pins down. "Another strike for Superhero Man!"
"Superhero Man?" Pietro asked.
"Long story" replied Kurt and Peter.
"Kurt, what are you still doing here?" asked Pietro.
"Two reason really. One is that the other X Men are on lane four playing a couple of strings. The second is for all the fan girls out there who want a piece of this fine fuzzy-man!"
"Blue is my favorite color!" Peter commented as he appraised Kurt with his eyes.
Remy chuckled at the disturbed look on Pietro's face and slyly slipped his arm around John, who was sitting next to him. "Are y' goin' t' play, Jo'nny?"
"Uh uh" John said, shaking his head. "This game is positively barbaric, Remy-luv. Those poor pins never even had a chance to defend themselves from Peter throwing that big ball down the lane."
"Chirp!"
"See? Sensei agrees with me…Sensei! Be careful of Pietro's drink, you might fall in!"
Pietro yelled and stamped his feet. "Curse you John! I almost had him!"
Pietro and the squirrel stare at each other evilly.
"Y' 're overreacting Jo'n," Remy smiled. "It doesn't matter if da pins get hit an' fall down."
"Really, Remy!" John stood up and walked away. "I at least thought you'd agree with me!" He yelled over his shoulder.
Pietro stood-up and grabbed a bowling ball. "Don't worry, Remy. He won't stay mad for long."
"Dat's Jo'n for y'" Remy said with a shrug.
"Stand back Rasputin and let a pro show you how to bowl." Pietro called to Peter as he rolled the ball down the lane.
"Come on ball!" All three cried.
"Nooooooo!" John cried jumping in the ball's way. "I'll save you pins!"
Peter, Remy and the squirrel winced as the bowling ball smashed into John.
"What the hell!" Pietro ran over to John's bruised body. "What was the big idea of jumping in front of the pins?"
"I did it for … Johnny" gasped John.
The gang stared at him, "I'm confused, aren't y' Jo'n?" asked Remy.
"OMG! It's an imposter!" screamed Pietro. The gang jumped Imposter John.
"I'm the real John!"
"Prove it" Peter challenged.
John got off the floor. "Lights!" he called. The lights went dim. "Music!" music began to play. "Random background dancers!" A group of steroid hyped dancers paraded out dressed as John/Pyro.
Peter stands up on his chair and calls out across the lanes.
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real St. John make some stupid remark?
I repeat; will the real St. John make some stupid remark?
All the John look-alikes start talking incoherently. Peter frowns.
I feel a headache coming on…
Original Impostor John begins to sing:
Y'all act like you never seen a pyromaniac before
Start one little fire and you throw me out the door
How was I suppose to know that it would burn through the floor?
The gang don't believe that it's really me {*Ahh!*}
It's the return of the... Jedi… god damn it!
Did I make an annoying reference to the Star War's trilogy?
And Dr. McCoy said... bite me mutant freaks!
Dr. McCoy's gone, he's locked in my bedroom! {*Oh yeah!*}
Guys a bit brawny love sweet little Johnny
{*Peter and Remy giggling*}
Remy, I'm obsessed with him
Look at 'em, struttin' around
Throwin' those kinetic emblems
Beatin' that X-Men crew,
Rogue appears from nowhere
"Yea' there's a guy Ah'd like tah sc---!"
Rogue winks at Remy and exits. Remy smiles and scrambles after her. Original Impostor John jumps in front of him and blocks the door.
Yeah, I know that sometimes I act pretty damn loose
Flirtin' with any guy with a nice tight caboose!
Just showin' a little skin an' tryin' to seduce, he he he
I like to talk to squirrels and play duck, duck, goose!
Remy tries to get pass John but fails. He sits down on a seat and Peter pats his back sympathetically. John gives the crowd a V sign and jumps on the bar counter. His head hits a light and smashes it, sending sparks everywhere, including his hair.
My hair is on fire; my hair is on fire.
If I don't put it out, I just might expire.
Stop, drop and roll is what I tell the Pyro fan kids
Does anybody know where the fire extinguisher is?
Oh well, it probably will go out in a bit
Does anyone need a Popeye candy stick lit?
At what point did they stop calling it a kid cigarette?
"I always thought that candy looked like the devil's work!" Pietro shouted over the music.
Peter shook his head sadly. "No Pietro, just the product of slick cigarette marketing schemes towards minors in the early nineties.
Mutants ain't nothin' but heroes; well, some of us zeroes
Who when they lose a fight go cry into their pillows {*Whah!*}
"John! That was our little secret!" cried Scott, "sniff, well I know when I'm not wanted! C'mon gang!" He leaves with the rest of the X Men bowling team.
The Acolyte team is world-renowned!
Our stupidity though is sure to astound! {*Ha ha!*}
It's a good thing our costumes are the coolest around!
This song has been lots of fun, too bad we're almost done!
I'm St. John; yes I'm the original St. John
All you other St. John's are made in Taiwan!
So won't the real St. John please make a stupid remark,
Please make a stupid remark?
Everyone starts rambling incoherently again, including the other Acolytes and other Bayville bowlers.
Uh Oh
Guess there's a little St. John in all of us
That must make the firefighters damn anxious!
"That song made no sense whatsoever!" exclaimed Peter.
Everyone stares at Original Imitation John
"Jo'nny!" screams Remy and embraces Original Imitation John, now proven as Real Non-Imitation John, in a hug. "I knew it was y' all along!" The whole crowd begins to cheer. Streamers and balloons come down from the ceiling. Peter gives the thumbs up to Kurt. Pietro and the squirrel grab hands/paws and start dancing around in circles.
"Wait a minute!" Kurt cried. All the cheering stops as Remy let go of John. Pietro and the squirrel stop dancing and quickly scurry off to either side of Peter. "Why did you do it for 'Johnny'?"
"It's a line from a song."
"Oh."
"Once again I can't help but think we are forgetting something important…" Peter pondered as he looked around at the John/Pyro dancers continue dancing.
At that moment Sabretooth came bursting through the door… literally.
"Guys! I know where Eric is!
John turned to Remy. "Who the hell is Eric?"
"Jo'n, y' still 'ave a potty mouth leftover from dat song."
"What song, Remy-luv?"
Pietro began to run around the bowling alley. "Get it away! It's trying to kill me!" The squirrel blinked and dropped the chainsaw.
John giggled. "Silly squirrel, chainsaws are for lumberjacks… or for upcoming serial killers." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elle: That was fun!
Pyromaniac: I'm writing chapters when you are asleep for now on. Don't forget to review!