I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CHAPTER! I had AMAZING slammers, AWSOME questions
(thanks to those who wrote them), and I am 100% NOT RESPONSIBLE for any of
the questions! So no one can hate me! Yay!
Speaking of which, the theme of Chapter 5's questions is: Request Questions. There were a total of about four people who emailed me with questions that they wanted to see answered, and I edited the questions (just a bit) and sent them to my slammers! Speaking of which, let me introduce you to my slammers:
Miss Megan
beetlebug13
Sinical_sarchasm
Elanhin
Lady Meowzalot
madman-dreams
AngryMew2
~*~Jenny~*~
Rose Black1
Alexandra Dragonhart
Pooki Ze Great
Ednilona
Fanficfrk45
Firebreath
ALSO, A CHANGE HAS BEEN MADE. You probably all know Hermione 'DB' Granger, who slammed for me in chapter three and returned in chapter four to slam again. Hermione 'DB' Granger is now my 'constant.' She will be in every chapter (except the early ones) and answer all of the questions (whether I want to delete her answers or not). So, welcome back Hermione 'DB' Granger!
AND HERE ARE THE FIFTH SET OF QUESTIONS:
Question Set #5: 100% Request Questions
QUESTION ONE: What is one completely insane theory you have concerning either the Harry Potter books or the LOTR trilogy?
------That Snape will fall in love OR that Harry will die. I mean, what's the point in even WRITING the books if Harry dies? (DooDLeBuG123190)
------That either Ron and Luna will go out, or Ron and Hermione. Not really insane, but that is a theory I have. (Miss Megan)
-------Just 1 theory? Which one to choose.... Probably my most insane theory is that Alicia Spinnet is locked in cupboards between Quidditch matches / training sessions as she never features anywhere but these. Katie only ever comes in interjecting randomly into others' conversations (though they've swapped in book 5). I think the cupboard locking of Alicia has to do with her being a lesbian.... (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
------Harry sees the mirror of Erised again and inside is Sirius. Sirius somehow steps out of the mirror because he wasn't dead, just in a different world. That's not too insane. (madman-dreams)
------IF Harry kills Voldemort he will kill part of himself (~*~Jenny~*~)
------That Sirius will come back to life. It's not completely insane, but I'm incredibly sure it won't happen. That, or that he had an illegitimate daughter (he seems the type). (Rose Black)
-------Well, I think Snape may have had a crush on Lily. Not really crazy, but I've been told it's weird. (Alexandra Dragonhart)
-------This is totally farfetched, but I personally believe that Katie Bell [Gryffindor Chaser] and Marcus Flint [Slytherin Quidditch Captain] should be together. (Fanficfrk45)
------Gosh....there are so many of those. But let's find the most insane one (not made up to be a humor fic, that is) of all of them...I'd have to say the strangest insane theory I've ever had was "Father," which basically went as follows: 1) When Dumbledore and Severus' mother are students they have an affair which results in Severus. 2) Dumbledore abandons Severus' pregnant mother, scarring Severus for life. 3)Later Nadja gets married to none other than James Potter's father, making Severus and James step-brothers and putting Severus through even more pain. 4) Severus finds out who his father is. 5) Severus finds out that Voldemort is plotting to kill Dumbledore. 6) Severus joins Voldemort. 7) At the last minute, Severus turns back to the good side, realizing how fundamentally wrong it is to kill your own father, no matter what he did...yeah. Pretty odd theory of how Severus turned to the dark side, no? (Sinical_sarchasm)
(2) What particular genres (types, kinds, sort) of fan fiction do you stay far, far, away from? Why?
------Mary-Sues, of course, because those things just annoy me. And Slash. I don't know why I stay away from Slash, but I just do. It bugs me. I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying it bugs me. (Miss Megan)
-------I absolutely can't stand slash, and terribly written Mary-Sues. I will occasionally read a MS, but it's not my favorite category. Also, I tend to not read parodies because I've only ever read a couple of good ones (Dude, Where's My Ring? and others that I can't remember). (Ednilona)
-------Mary Sues, of course, and future-year fanfictions (e.g., writing Harry's sixth year before it comes out). Whenever anyone tries it just feels like a revolting imitation of J.K. It never quite works the same way as the book would, and you always find yourself resenting that. I also try to stay away from love scenes because I'm a pathetic loser, have no love life, and wouldn't be able to write a good love scene if I put my whole life force into it. Like they say, write what you at least have some idea about... (Sinical_sarchasm)
--------When I see "romance" I don't usually read it. I like romance, don't get me wrong, but I doubt I could like a plot only of romance. There has to be another plot. It just gets too boring otherwise. (madman-dreams)
------Adults/students. Like Snape/Draco or Sirius/Hermione. They creep me out! (~*~Jenny~*~)
-------Mary-Sues and any pairing other than James/Lily. Because they for some reason make me jealous. No I don't know how this happens. Bah. (Pooki Ze Great)
------Slash and romance, I just don't like that kind of stuff. I don't think I'll ever like romance in anything unless I ever do fall in love (unlikely for at least the next ten years I reckon.... ok maybe five. Or three). I do sometimes read romance stories if they're not too soppy and mixed with Action/Adventure. And slash, well... I love these characters and unless the original fiction states that they are homosexual, I don't like it. It's nothing personal and I believe in equality, but I just prefer not to read or write it myself. (Firebreath)
------Anime fan-fiction. I mean, I've never really seen any of those shows, I've never gotten into any of them...*shrug* So, obviously, if I read the fan-fiction I'd have no idea what's going on. That, and romance. Don't get me wrong, it's okay, but I'd much rather see how J.K. Rowling pairs them off. (Lady Meowzalot)
------Hm... Spiritual, horror, sci-fi and other stuff that I don't think I'm good at writing... (Elanhin)
------I'd have to say angsty ones, because reading fanfiction is the only way for me to escape from my own dreary depressing life, so why would I want to read about it? (beetlebug13)
------None really. I just read and then review. I review every chapter of every fic I read. I only avoid stuff I think will annoy me (eg Harry Potter / S Club songfics *shudder* - did not want damn crappy pop stuck in brain all day even with amusing HP lyrics...) (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
-----Science fiction usually creeps me out. Also, I try to stay away from slash. Not easy to do, but it's not because I'm against homosexuality. I just feel that pairing two males [i.e. - Malfoy and Harry] together for personal satisfaction is wrong. (Fanficfrk45)
(3) The most revolting Mary-Sue you've ever written: tell us about her, in as much detail as you can bear.
------"It was Harry's first day back at Hogwarts and Dumbledore made an announcement: 'Students, I'd like you to meet Maria Susana Riddle, an exchange student from America.' As she turned and faced them, everybody admired her despite that she was Voldemort's daughter, for she had beautiful, windswept blond-hair, blue eyes of the stormy ocean, was tall and marvelously skinny, wore the best of the designer robes, and was the most perfect girl ever, her placement in Gryffindor making her even better."
------But like I said, this was satire, so the rest of the story was devoted to the events leading up to Harry banishing her to the Saharah to "have fun with the Quidditch refs." (Sinical_sarchasm)
------The main character in my LotR fic was extremely feminine and almost delicate. She was really annoying at times. (beetlebug13)
------Heh, hmm... Let me think... Er, ok, her name was Elizabeth, and she kind of appeared out of nowhere. Like, one day she wasn't there, and the next she was. And then, instantly, her, Harry, Ron and Hermione were really close, and practically out of nowhere her and Harry started going out. And . . . oh ya, her hair changed color once. Hehehe. That was a long time ago. I can't remember it that well. (Miss Megan)
-------I've only written one story that you might classify as a MS, though I don't think so. I started with describing how beautiful she was, and that was a big mistake. (Elanhin)
------Named Minerva Snape. SHE WAS PERFECT! Only had one flaw and that was being a werewolf. I hate her so much! (~*~Jenny~*~)
------I started writing in...like....first grade. *digs around for notebook with that bizarre story in it to see if it's a Mary Sue*....*can't find the @#$#@ thing* I made one of my characters pretty much a Mary Sue, she didn't have the spice and personality she does now. (Lady Meowzalot)
-------I haven't written a Mary-sue yet. Thank GOODNESS. (madman-dreams)
-------All I remember is she was disgustingly perfect in every way. That was over half a year ago so I can't really remember her. Trust me, we're all probably better off forgetting her. (Pooki Ze Great)
-------Shanna Lupin(and her friend too, actually). In my story The Meeting of Lily and James, she's Remus' twin sister. She ends up being friend with Lily and...argh...that's pretty much all I can say. (Alexandra Dragonhart)
-------Oh my gosh, she was terrible! She was not beautiful, but she was a 21st century girl who got transported to Middle-earth. Everyone else could understand her and they were speaking modern-speech, the plot was full of holes, and . . . ugh, it was terrible. (Ednilona)
-------Read my old fic "Harry Potter and The Magi of Love" and look carefully at Misty Silverlight. Then you'll understand. (Fanficfrk45)
--------I hope I haven't written any MSs. I guess there's someone who might be but I can't say without smegging up the element of surprise. I don't think she is - there can be a fine line between OCs (who have to be out of the norm for there to be a point in putting them in) and MSs. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
---------She was using those sort of 'made for movie' lines, that sound good at first sight, though way too over dramatic, but don't mean anything. She was also a lot smarter than everybody else and was busily 'being important.' No wonder I discontinued that ff. (Firebreath)
(4) A character that you put yourself into: tell us about him/her, and how the fact that they were representing you molded them.
-------Oh THIS is easy! I technically was her. Dazzlingly brilliant (as I am, I think), kinda sort of pretty (as I am)...oh yes, and an egotistical brat that can't stop talking to save her life. She's bossy, and domineers any situation...much like I do when in any sort of school group. She isn't me, she's a character, but the fact that I play her certainly gives her a dash of my personality. (Lady Meowzalot)
-------I've written a love story where Haldir, Boromir and Legolas falls in love with the same girl. She's based upon me and my thoughts but I also wish to be her with all the guys swarming around her. (Elanhin)
------The main character in one of my fics was named Britney, which was my name. I changed a few things about her so that she was more of what I'd like to be than what I am. She was outgoing and friendly, but all too much like me, she had a very sharp tongue. (beetlebug13)
------I usually try to "live through" the canon characters I write. Everyone has different views on how Draco really is, or what Snape is like when he's by himself. When I want to show a realistic side of a character, sometimes I use my own motivations, reasons, or judgment. So often I'm not writing about Harry or Ron, I'm writing about myself. (madman-dreams)
-------Alexandra Dragonhart. She's very protective of her loved ones as I am, since I lost quite a few of them. She's also kind of doing things before thinking about it...a trait that got me in trouble more than once. (Alexandra Dragonhart)
--------I put myself into every character, even Snape (in an unpublished fic). Fleur, etc., they all have a lot very in common with me. (Rose Black)
-------Um, well right now there's a girl called Jessica Riddle I'm writing. The fact she's representing me probably shows up in her [very carnal] obsessions with Remus and Sirius. I'd imagine. And probably a million trillion things which I forget only I do. Like calling people "wench" all the time. (Pooki Ze Great)
-------Not really put myself into - they are me. In my Bill fics I have an OC who IS me (except she's at Hogwarts / in the wizarding world). In Bill's diary I could be in real danger of interjecting a lot of my school life into my character's, though, as it's from Bill's POV, these may only be things I know about the character's history that never have to come to light. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
------My newest character that's in a story I'm working on is named Eodwyn, and she's like me because she has a very feisty spirit and really wants to learn how to wield a sword and also, regular Middle-earth "street- fighting". (Ednilona)
(5) Who knows that you write fan fiction?
------*cowers* I'm ashamed to say that most people don't know...just my family, my friend Erin, who also writes fanfiction, and a few friends of Erin's. I've been on the verge of telling my only other three friends, but whenever I start to bring it up with two of them they start making fun of fanfiction and going on tirades about "who has enough time for that," and my other friend just despises Harry Potter...*sighs* So much for openness and honest relationships...ah well, I was never much for those anyway. (Sinical_sarchasm)
-------Hmm...my parents (they'd die a horrible death if they read it), a few of my RL friends, and a LOT of people online. (Lady Meowzalot)
------Well, most of my friends. My parents know too (I think) but they don't know that I'm posting it. (Elanhin)
-------My family - they've read a bit of it, though I always feel really uncomfortable right after I say they can. My sis isn't really interested (thinks I'm a geek) my mum worries about the amount of time I spend on the computer and my dad's quite nice about it (I don't want him to be negative, but I find I wouldn't mind if he left me to it). A few friends know (as I've said before, one got me started on it) and a couple have reviewed. It's not like I make a big deal about it, and I wouldn't tell people about it as the first thing when I meet them, I'd have to trust them loads first. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
------Actually, no one. Haha. My sister once brought up the fact that her best friend wrote a fanfic, and she was very scornful of it. it's not that I'm embarrassed, I just think it's my business. (madman-dreams)
------My friends, all but one finds it sick, my cousin. (My parents have no idea and it's staying that way) My grandma knows. (~*~Jenny~*~)
-------My parents and my friends. They don't read it though. I find it too embarrassing when other people whom I now read my stuff, as often I end up hating it. (Firebreath)
-------My friends, two of my cousins, and my family might know... yeah, they do actually but I don't want them to!!!! (Ednilona)
-------My best friend in the whole world knows [who, coincidentally is also registered on Fanfiction], as do various people on line. May parents are totally oblivious! Mwahaha! (Fanficfrk45)
--------Well I'm not sure of the exact numbers, but I tend to tell everyone I talk to for more than an hour and everyone on my LJ, and blurty, and well, all of my friends.... Let's just say a lot of people who shouldn't know do, shall we? (Pooki Ze Great)
(6) What is/was the craziest dream/fantasy you've had concerning one of the books or fan fiction? (by "dream," I mean when you were actually asleep)
------I was a student at Hogwarts, and in the middle of Potions class, Snape decides to have a 'lice check'. And for some reason, Harry checked my hair, and there was lice crawling all through it. I was pretty freaked out when I woke up. (beetlebug13)
-------One time I dreamt that the cast of LotR came and visited me and they all worshipped me and wanted to date me. That was fun. (Elanhin)
--------I dreamed Dumbledore was meeting Voldemort for a mud-wrestling contest. Dumbledore wasn't up to strength, though, so he tagged in Harry. Harry starts freaking out, saying he's not cut out for this "hero" business. Because he falters Voldemort is able to take the opportunity to jump on top of Harry, completely squishing him--something I've always wanted to try. The jumping, not the squishing. (madman-dreams)
--------I had this really bizarre Harry Potter dream...I was at school and I was riding a broomstick through the hallway and my teacher hit me with her briefcase...or the one where I was an animagus and could turn into a wolf... (DooDLeBuG123190)
-------I was tied to a dungeon wall, Snape was tied up somewhere across from me and Harry had been driven insane. Hagrid breaks the wall down and then suddenly Snape and McGonagall were kissing as were Harry and Hermione. (~*~Jenny~*~)
------Here's a really weird dream: I was Theoden, and I was at the battle of Helm's Deep. I went down the stairs towards the side-door to block anyone from getting in there when I saw Eowyn in another room fighting some other girl who was wearing modern clothing (Eowyn was wearing her white dress) that had a black shirt with pink or yellow lettering on it. I think Eowyn collapsed or something, because the next thing I knew I was fighting the girl. I was definitely thinking MY (Ednilona) thoughts, because it was my first time killing someone and I had no technique, I was just stabbing at her chest and dodging her blows. Then I killed her, and looked at my hands, which were covered in tiny nicks. Next thing I knew, I had woken up. (Ednilona)
------I had a scary dream with a dementor in once.... Craziest, hmmm. I daydream about Bill a LOT and just about what might happen in fics or RPGs - I just drift off into the world and have conversations. My mind is on such a continuous HP / RPG loop that it's what I'm thinking about when I go to sleep and it's the first thing I think of when I wake up, so I probably have loads of weird dreams that I don't remember as they are a (twisted in a bizarre dream way) extension of my consciousness. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
------Oh... there was this amazing Harry Potter one I had a few years ago. In the middle of class my English teacher comes up to me a whispers 'it's ok, I know you're Harry Potter. Professor Dumbledore wants you to come and work in this corner, away from everyone else. You see, there's this code which only you can break, it's the code to defeat Voldemort. And we think he may be coming to get you.' Anyway, eventually Voldemort did come, I hadn't even started breaking the code, and Lord Voldemort turned everyone into pigs. I just managed to avoid the spell and was watching everyone else rampage around the cloak room, then I woke up. Please ignore my insanity. Mungo's is doing all it can. (Firebreath)
-------Ha. Well. Ummm... I had one where me, a bunch of my friends, and random Harry Potter characters were jumping up and down on a gigantic trampoline underneath a purple and orange polka dot sky, while the house elves had an orgy.... No wait I didn't dream that. But wouldn't it have been hilarious if I had? *thinks and giggles* Spifferific! (Pooki Ze Great)
AUTHOR INTERJECTION: One of the dreams sent to me for this question was very long, but it was also hilarious so I put it at the bottom of the page, after the props. PLEASE READ IT!
(7) If you could have one character from either of the books follow you around for one day and act exactly as you would want them to, who would it be? How would you have them act around you?
------Draco! I'd have him act like he is, but a little nicer. I don't want to change him too much. After all, that wouldn't be nice. And I like him the way he is. (Miss Megan)
------Snape...as long as it was only one day. I don't think I could cope with another person being sardonic and cynical much longer. But I love his intelligence/wit, wry sense of humor (if you want to call it that) and his off-beat sexiness. (Okay, so he's way too old...but one can dream, no?) (Sinical_sarchasm)
-------Snape, definitely. I would want him to act exactly as he is, maybe even a bit snakier. Cutting wit is hard to find, and he's a goldmine. I'd probably laugh at everything he said, even if it's degrading me. (madman- dreams)
------Hehehe... Elladan or Elrohir! They would be all cool and really nice to me, like friends are to each other. (Elanhin)
------I'd get Pippin and Merry to follow me around and wreak havoc upon my brother. We need to discover a tape that will rip his eyebrows completely off...and no, duct tape doesn't work. It's been tried. (Lady Meowzalot)
------I would say Bill, but I'd rather have him being with me of his own free will. However if it's a choice of this or never seeing him, of course I'll go for this. I wouldn't want him to act - I'd want him to be genuine. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
------Only one character???????? Aww, fine then. Professor Dumbledore. He would act as if I was Harry Potter basically, pretty sad I know. He'd act as if I was this extremely special person, in short I would become a Mary- Sue and everyone would want to hit Dumbledore over the head for sucking up to me. Or maybe Voldemort, and he would want to kidnap me for some strange reason. Yes, I know you only said one, sorry. (Firebreath)
--------I would have either Jack Sparrow, Legolas Greenleaf, Eowyn, or Aragorn II follow me around and act exactly as they normally do. (Ednilona)
-------Probably either Hermione or the teen Lily...or Sirius. I love Sirius! (DooDLeBuG123190)
------I would choose either Sirius or Severus. Sirius would act playful and flirtatious (of course), and, uh, let's just say that Severus would act daring and confident. (beetlebug13)
------Sirius. He would ignore my friend who's obsessed with him MWAHAHAHA! And he would pester my family. He he. They think he really killed Harry's parents still. (~*~Jenny~*~)
------I would have either Sirius or Aragorn follow me and I would have them act as if they were my boyfriend. Well, most probably Sirius because Aragorn already has a girl and I like her too...as a character I mean. (Alexandra Dragonhart)
------*Grins* Are children going to be reading this? I dunno, either Remus Lupin or Sirius Black and well.... Let's just say the way they'd act would be strictly NC-17, shall we? (Pooki Ze Great)
(8) What was the most irritating piece of fan fiction you've ever read? What made it so irritating?
-------It was called something like A Heart's Entrance or something and Sirius was with Harry. Very graphically! It was removed though. (~*~Jenny~*~)
------I can't remember an annoying fanfic, because I never finish them; I just exit out right then and there. (beetlebug13)
------A one that had a lot of reviews that I absolutely hated. The idea was great, but the way they carried it out wasn't so great. It just kept going and going and going, basically the same things over and over. And then the characters were really OCC. Geez that annoyed me! (Miss Megan)
------The most irritating one was this novel-length (dear lord!) piece. It was Harry/Draco, yet every single male in the fic was hooking up. In the beginning the author was all about "defeating Voldemort" and such, and then she turned to creating couples her top priority. And there was some nonsense about wands and how they connected and such, and every couple had their wands connect and it was just overdone... (madman-dreams)
------I don't know, probably this one on another website where this girl (21st century) got transported back to Middle-earth, went with the Fellowship on their journey. I'm not going to describe the details, but basically they married and moved to Missouri or California or something, and Legolas gave up his mortality. It wasn't bad, it just annoyed me that Legolas gave up his mortality and that they moved to the United States. (Ednilona)
-------A French one - can't remember the name. It was irritating because there was absolutely no paragraphing what so ever. After I'd worked hard translating it, it wasn't worth it because it was one of those annoying ones that spends ages explaining stuff you already know (eg 'Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger - Harry's two best friends at Hogwarts.') I admit some of the poetry of the words or whatever was probably lost on me, but it still stank. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
------Grr. It had to be this one which I couldn't even bear to finish reading or review. It was a Harry Potter one and everyone was out of character, the plot didn't even exist. It was badly written. The worst bit was when I quickly looked at the review page and everyone was saying how good it was. (Firebreath)
-------A few words: Belly button piercing in middle earth. An author who has seen the movie all of three times, and admits this. A "magical elf princess". Red hair with blonde streaks. A low cut two piece dress. The author who thinks she might add a sex scene later. Need I say more? (Lady Meowzalot)
(9) What would you do if they a) put an Arwen-Aragorn sex scene into the Return of the King? What is the worst mistake they could possibly make in either/both of these movies?
-------A) - I would start screaming 'NOOO! Get off him!! He's mine!! My own! My PRECIOUS ARAGORN!' Then pursue my greatest ambition to kill Arwen (and therefore probably get slaughtered by all my friends, who adore Arwen). (Firebreath)
------Oh dear, no thanks for a. Not right. It wouldn't fit. RotK is perfect the way it is, I don't want it changed at all. Of course they will, but not too much. For both of them, delete important scenes. I hate when they do that. And then, instead, they add in a completely new scene that wasn't in the book. That annoys me. (Miss Megan)
------*twitch* Must...kill...I'd probably find a medium; you know, the ones who can supposedly contact dead people? I'd get him/her to use what power they had to reach Tolkien. THEN we'll see what HE thinks...mwahahaha...yes, anyway, worst mistake. I think that's the main one, but I heard they're cutting the Scouring of the Shire. SACRILEGE! (Lady Meowzalot)
-------a) That would wreck it! The A/A thing was only an appendix in the end of RotK (Rose Black)
-------a) I would laugh, clap, and show it to my grandmother, hoping that she would have a heart attack and die. I think the worst mistake they could make is to screw up Remus or Sirius in any way, which they already have by casting people who look nothing like them for the roles. *mutters* Stupid lousy gits... (Pooki Ze Great)
------I would freak out!! The worst thing to do is to make Sirius look extremely disgusting since I picture him as a really good-looking guy, in LotR it must be to leave out big parts *cough*thegreyhavens*cough* or something like that. (Elanhin)
-------For A, I'd totally freak out and probably gag. In my opinion, they portrayed Arwen wrong in the movies, so Aragorn doesn't disserve her, at least in that respect. (beetlebug13)
------A. MY EYES! NO! THEY BURN! (~*~Jenny~*~)
-------a. I would be disgusted, because I hate the couple, but still, it's more of the movie! But they wouldn't do that because of their younger audience. At least, I hope not.
(Ednilona)
-------Oh please. I would be scarred for life and destroy all photographs of Viggo Mortensen (sp?) that I own lest I be reminded of his awful sin. Or something along those lines...I mean, let the viewer decide what he/she wants. Please.
What is the worst mistake they could possibly make in either/both of these movies? In Harry Potter, firing their best actor, Alan Rickman. Hehe, sorry, I've got a bit of an obsession there. Seriously, my list of things they're doing wrong in Harry Potter is so long that I don't even want to be thinking about it right now...the biggest mistake I could see them making is keep going in the same general cinematic direction. Because as of now, the Harry Potter movies have sucked, and nothing anyone (even the almighty Alan Rickman) can do is going to save them unless there's an utter turnaround. (Sinical_sarchasm)
-------Don't get me started on the Harry potter movies. So far I am the only one that has hated them with a vengeance that will never die. Not only do they cut out so many important scenes, they also had bad casting. I think Harry potter should have been done like "James and the Giant Peach," in clay. But that's just me. If they cut out the scene, I wouldn't be surprised. Both a.) and b.) are equally heinous, because sex between Arwen and Aragorn would be to please the audience in the usual "fall in love, have sex, live happily ever after" theme. It's unnecessary really because people get that they love each other. And their love is only a minor theme in the movie. Or should be. (madman-dreams)
------As far as choice 'a' goes, I probably wouldn't care. As long as it's not too explicit. They're a cute couple. However, the people working on Priosoner of Azkaban better watch how they portray the Dementors. If they portray them wrong I would be moved not to see Goblet of Fire, or at the very least, not buy Prisoner of Azkaban on video/DVD. (Fanficfrk45)
-------I probably wouldn't find out for a while as I refuse to watch the films. As far as I'm concerned, they've already made so many major mistakes I can't pick a worst one.
- Emma Watson. I will rant for hours about her. She looks nothing like Hermione. She is determined to disown Hermione because she wants to be pretty and popular - she's ashamed of her character. And she's a crappy actress - she was embarrassed to have to hug DR for God's sake.
- The 'You'll be a great seeker it's in your blood' cheesy plaque scene / all the cheesy scenes they've put in that aren't in the books.
- Cutting Peeves.
(Hermione 'DB' Granger)
-------In PoA if they left out the part where Hermione slaps Draco OR the part where Harry meets Cho OR the part where they first meet Trelawney. (DooDLeBuG123190)
AUTHOR INTERJECTION: WHEN I EDITED THE QUESTIONS PEOPLE HAD SENT ME, I WAS IN A REALLY BIG HURRY AND MADE ONE HUGE MISTAKE. ONE OF THE QUESTIONS HAD AN ERROR IN IT. This was question 9, the one you just read. You see, it used to also give an example of a mistake that could be made in the third book. Unfortunately, it never happened in the third book. I apologize, but offer you to get a kick out of how my slammers reacted to it: B) What would you do if, in the third movie for Harry Potter, they deleted the scene where the Weasleys destroy the Dursley's fireplace? (that was the question I asked)
------*b) Don't you mean GoF? That would be very bad, too. What would they put there? I would post something very angry at the SugarQuill forum.
-------*b. The Weasleys come to Privet Drive in book 3? When did that happen? I thought HP took the Knight Bus to Diagon Alley where he spent awhile there before meeting up with Ron and Hermione.
-------*Now with 'b', I think you made a mistake. Unless I'm wrong, the Weasleys don't come to Number 4 in Prisoner of Azkaban. They do that in Goblet of Fire. But for that, I would be extremely upset. How would Harry get to Hogwarts if the Weasleys didn't blow up the Dursley's fireplace?
-------*I'm appalled at you! That scene is in book 4!!!!!! It will kill me if they cut it because I love it (it's SO funny - Mr. Weasley and his plug collection. You gotta love him for it! You just gotta love him generally).
(10) Admit something here about either your fan fiction or the books that you have never admitted to anyone else, maybe even yourself.
-------I hate my obsession with fan fiction. I am constantly wanting to read a story, and if not, than I want to write one. It must be destroying my eyes by now. Lol, but I'm not saying I would stop. No, I don't think I could stop. Or... ya, I'm starting to make no sense... (Miss Megan)
-------I am rather ashamed of my fanfiction obsession...of all of it, the better fanfiction included. Even though I pretend not to care. *sighs* So much for keeping up appearances. Also, I was rabidly anti-Harry Potter before I actually got of my arse and read them...not in a Christian- fundamentalist sort of way (because I'm an atheist....) but in a these-are- stupid-overrated-children's-books sort of way (Sinical_sarchasm)
-------If I had to be serious about my writing--I'd say it sounds like I'm reaching for too much. The-kid-that-crossed-the-street-only-to-be-run-over- by-a-bus. When I try for angst, it's just melodramatic crap. When I try for humor, I realize just how unfunny I am. My writing's too simple and the feelings too shallow. (madman-dreams)
------I find Snape hot. Wait, I have admitted that. I write slashes (which I have never posted) I hint at them. I write them full out. I never post them. But half of them are very good and so in character it's believable. (~*~Jenny~*~)
------If I didn't have HP / ff I'd probably have killed myself or got into serious self harm by now. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
-------I actually started my fan fiction "The Blood Clan and the Marauders" because a friend of mine said that when I wrote a scene were a werewolf kills a Hogwarts teacher in another story, it was my best piece ever. I wanted to write it to do that kind of stuff and it became much more than that. (Alexandra Dragonhart)
-------I always think that just maybe this time I written one good enough to have about 20 reviews the next time I check my stats (and believe me I check them a lot). I really shouldn't have admitted that. (Firebreath)
-------When I stopped writing fan fiction for a while, it was because I was honestly tired of it. However, when I re-started writing, I dunno, a month and some ago(?), it was because I am a funny little review whore who needs lots of people boosting her ego so that she can stay sane through the drudgery that is "real" life. (Pooki Ze Great)
------Both of my characters are Mary-Sues in my stories, I guess, that's it. (Ednilona) I think I'm a better writer than I actually am. Sometimes it takes the occasional flame to help me see that. (Fanficfrk45)
--------It's all what I wish: that I could be in those books/situations. I wish I could be a poor orphan Newsie, a Mary Sue, an HP character, a girl squire, a girl in Miss Hannigan's orphanage. I put myself there because a lot of my writing is sort of wish-fulfillment--I think it is to many people. My writing is my personal fantasies. (Rose Black)
END AUTHOR'S NOTE: Basically this: old slammers and new slammers wanted. Email me or review and I'll put you on the list.
PROPS:
* My slammers! You guys rock! Also thanks to everyone who used correct grammar and capitalization when slamming. It made my life 10x easier. But to all slammers: YOU GUYS ARE MY HEROES! Keep up the good work!
* Sinical_sarchasm - thank you so much for your insanely long answers, and for letting me edit them down. I was really grateful for the time you took to slam.
* Hermione 'DB' Granger - thanks again, and thanks for being a constant. It's good, definitely (although I'll warn you I'll only let on one more Emma Watson rant). Haha . . . you rock!
Sinical_sarchasm's HILARIOUS dream:
I was swimming in a very cold bay, shivering. Suddenly, I heard my mum's voice, "Katy (my dog}! Jack (my cat)! Come in here or else I will burn your tails!" Katy and Jack dutifully came (don't ask me how they could understand, this is, as you are finding out now, a strange senseless dream in which most things don't make sense.).
Then, after a few moments, I heard my mum say, "Etha! Come here too! Or else I will burn your tail!" She was just joking though, because I did not have a tail. So I came back and went onto the big, wooden dock.
For some strange reason, I decided to take a little stroll on the dock. I was walking when I saw that Prof. Severus Snape was standing there, holding a Philosopher's Stone! Harry Potter was there also, for no apparent reason, and he had a bushy tail. He said, "Prof. Snape gave me this tail!" Then, without another word, he disappeared.
Strangely enough, I wasn't at all surprised in finding Harry Potter (with a tail), Snape, and the Philosopher's Stone with me on the dock. Prof. Snape said, "Look! I have a Philosopher's Stone!"
Instead of being surprised at seeing all this magic on the dock, I just said, "Uh...that's nice." I wondered if it was legal or not, but I didn't ask.
Then Snape said, "Now I will live forever!"
All of a sudden, Snape disappeared. In his place was Prof. Phaedrus (an RPG character who is a Slytherin teacher), who was holding the exact same stone as Prof. Snape was holding (don't ask me how I knew that this was the same one, I have no idea). So I said, "Uh, Prof. Phaedrus, why are you where Prof. Snape was just a second ago and holding his stone?"
He said, "Prof. Snape and I are one and the same!" Then he laughed. It was a strange laugh, not humorous yet not evil either.
I didn't really understand this but I didn't feel like arguing with him about it, or discussing it, so I said, "Oh. Well..er...that's very interesting."
So Prof. Phaedrus said, "Yes, it is, isn't it! It is a much better way to live forever than what I was doing before." (In the RPG he was taking some kind of Elixir of Life pills to make him not age.)
So I said, "Yeah, uh, I guess it is." (What a brilliant answer, eh?)
Then, out of the blue, he said, "You know, this is illegal for me to be making the Stone not under the eyes of the ministry and then use it also without the ministry knowing." (I have no idea why he decided to tell me this, especially since in the RPG he's a Slytherin teacher and I'm a Gryffindor.)
"Really?" I said, "I didn't know that." Then I decided it was a bad thing that he was breaking the law, so I drew out my wand (how did I get a wand?) and I said, pointing to the stone, "Accio Stone!" The stone flew into my hand. Apparently Phaedrus didn't have his wand with him, because he did absolutely nothing to stop me and/or try to get the stone back.
So I ran and ran on the dock, which seemed to stretch on endlessly, clutching the stone in one hand and my wand in the other. Then I bumped into Nicholas Flamel. He had a tail, and it was white, but not nearly as bushy as the one Harry had had. I said, "Oh, sorry I bumped into you. Hi Nick!" (I have no idea, once again, how I knew who it was.)
Then I noticed that he was dying. He said, "Hello little girl. The stone is destroyed, and I am dying!" He didn't seem very sad about that.
I was kind of mad at him for calling me a little girl, since I am thirteen, but I felt sorry for him because he was dying. I said, "Well, I have good news! I found another stone!"
Nicholas Flamel, for some strange reason, didn't seem at all surprised that I had found a second Sorcerers Stone. Instead he said, "I am going onto the next great adventure."
I said, "Yeah, I know you are. Do you want the stone? It has the Elixir of Life, obviously, so you can take it and keep on living!"
But Nicholas said, "Oh, no, little girl. I have lived my life and am ready for the next great adventure. Let the Stone be your gift, little girl." (That little girl stuff was really annoying to my dream-self.)
Then I woke up, my hand on the Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone book, which was beside my pillow.
Speaking of which, the theme of Chapter 5's questions is: Request Questions. There were a total of about four people who emailed me with questions that they wanted to see answered, and I edited the questions (just a bit) and sent them to my slammers! Speaking of which, let me introduce you to my slammers:
Miss Megan
beetlebug13
Sinical_sarchasm
Elanhin
Lady Meowzalot
madman-dreams
AngryMew2
~*~Jenny~*~
Rose Black1
Alexandra Dragonhart
Pooki Ze Great
Ednilona
Fanficfrk45
Firebreath
ALSO, A CHANGE HAS BEEN MADE. You probably all know Hermione 'DB' Granger, who slammed for me in chapter three and returned in chapter four to slam again. Hermione 'DB' Granger is now my 'constant.' She will be in every chapter (except the early ones) and answer all of the questions (whether I want to delete her answers or not). So, welcome back Hermione 'DB' Granger!
AND HERE ARE THE FIFTH SET OF QUESTIONS:
Question Set #5: 100% Request Questions
QUESTION ONE: What is one completely insane theory you have concerning either the Harry Potter books or the LOTR trilogy?
------That Snape will fall in love OR that Harry will die. I mean, what's the point in even WRITING the books if Harry dies? (DooDLeBuG123190)
------That either Ron and Luna will go out, or Ron and Hermione. Not really insane, but that is a theory I have. (Miss Megan)
-------Just 1 theory? Which one to choose.... Probably my most insane theory is that Alicia Spinnet is locked in cupboards between Quidditch matches / training sessions as she never features anywhere but these. Katie only ever comes in interjecting randomly into others' conversations (though they've swapped in book 5). I think the cupboard locking of Alicia has to do with her being a lesbian.... (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
------Harry sees the mirror of Erised again and inside is Sirius. Sirius somehow steps out of the mirror because he wasn't dead, just in a different world. That's not too insane. (madman-dreams)
------IF Harry kills Voldemort he will kill part of himself (~*~Jenny~*~)
------That Sirius will come back to life. It's not completely insane, but I'm incredibly sure it won't happen. That, or that he had an illegitimate daughter (he seems the type). (Rose Black)
-------Well, I think Snape may have had a crush on Lily. Not really crazy, but I've been told it's weird. (Alexandra Dragonhart)
-------This is totally farfetched, but I personally believe that Katie Bell [Gryffindor Chaser] and Marcus Flint [Slytherin Quidditch Captain] should be together. (Fanficfrk45)
------Gosh....there are so many of those. But let's find the most insane one (not made up to be a humor fic, that is) of all of them...I'd have to say the strangest insane theory I've ever had was "Father," which basically went as follows: 1) When Dumbledore and Severus' mother are students they have an affair which results in Severus. 2) Dumbledore abandons Severus' pregnant mother, scarring Severus for life. 3)Later Nadja gets married to none other than James Potter's father, making Severus and James step-brothers and putting Severus through even more pain. 4) Severus finds out who his father is. 5) Severus finds out that Voldemort is plotting to kill Dumbledore. 6) Severus joins Voldemort. 7) At the last minute, Severus turns back to the good side, realizing how fundamentally wrong it is to kill your own father, no matter what he did...yeah. Pretty odd theory of how Severus turned to the dark side, no? (Sinical_sarchasm)
(2) What particular genres (types, kinds, sort) of fan fiction do you stay far, far, away from? Why?
------Mary-Sues, of course, because those things just annoy me. And Slash. I don't know why I stay away from Slash, but I just do. It bugs me. I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying it bugs me. (Miss Megan)
-------I absolutely can't stand slash, and terribly written Mary-Sues. I will occasionally read a MS, but it's not my favorite category. Also, I tend to not read parodies because I've only ever read a couple of good ones (Dude, Where's My Ring? and others that I can't remember). (Ednilona)
-------Mary Sues, of course, and future-year fanfictions (e.g., writing Harry's sixth year before it comes out). Whenever anyone tries it just feels like a revolting imitation of J.K. It never quite works the same way as the book would, and you always find yourself resenting that. I also try to stay away from love scenes because I'm a pathetic loser, have no love life, and wouldn't be able to write a good love scene if I put my whole life force into it. Like they say, write what you at least have some idea about... (Sinical_sarchasm)
--------When I see "romance" I don't usually read it. I like romance, don't get me wrong, but I doubt I could like a plot only of romance. There has to be another plot. It just gets too boring otherwise. (madman-dreams)
------Adults/students. Like Snape/Draco or Sirius/Hermione. They creep me out! (~*~Jenny~*~)
-------Mary-Sues and any pairing other than James/Lily. Because they for some reason make me jealous. No I don't know how this happens. Bah. (Pooki Ze Great)
------Slash and romance, I just don't like that kind of stuff. I don't think I'll ever like romance in anything unless I ever do fall in love (unlikely for at least the next ten years I reckon.... ok maybe five. Or three). I do sometimes read romance stories if they're not too soppy and mixed with Action/Adventure. And slash, well... I love these characters and unless the original fiction states that they are homosexual, I don't like it. It's nothing personal and I believe in equality, but I just prefer not to read or write it myself. (Firebreath)
------Anime fan-fiction. I mean, I've never really seen any of those shows, I've never gotten into any of them...*shrug* So, obviously, if I read the fan-fiction I'd have no idea what's going on. That, and romance. Don't get me wrong, it's okay, but I'd much rather see how J.K. Rowling pairs them off. (Lady Meowzalot)
------Hm... Spiritual, horror, sci-fi and other stuff that I don't think I'm good at writing... (Elanhin)
------I'd have to say angsty ones, because reading fanfiction is the only way for me to escape from my own dreary depressing life, so why would I want to read about it? (beetlebug13)
------None really. I just read and then review. I review every chapter of every fic I read. I only avoid stuff I think will annoy me (eg Harry Potter / S Club songfics *shudder* - did not want damn crappy pop stuck in brain all day even with amusing HP lyrics...) (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
-----Science fiction usually creeps me out. Also, I try to stay away from slash. Not easy to do, but it's not because I'm against homosexuality. I just feel that pairing two males [i.e. - Malfoy and Harry] together for personal satisfaction is wrong. (Fanficfrk45)
(3) The most revolting Mary-Sue you've ever written: tell us about her, in as much detail as you can bear.
------"It was Harry's first day back at Hogwarts and Dumbledore made an announcement: 'Students, I'd like you to meet Maria Susana Riddle, an exchange student from America.' As she turned and faced them, everybody admired her despite that she was Voldemort's daughter, for she had beautiful, windswept blond-hair, blue eyes of the stormy ocean, was tall and marvelously skinny, wore the best of the designer robes, and was the most perfect girl ever, her placement in Gryffindor making her even better."
------But like I said, this was satire, so the rest of the story was devoted to the events leading up to Harry banishing her to the Saharah to "have fun with the Quidditch refs." (Sinical_sarchasm)
------The main character in my LotR fic was extremely feminine and almost delicate. She was really annoying at times. (beetlebug13)
------Heh, hmm... Let me think... Er, ok, her name was Elizabeth, and she kind of appeared out of nowhere. Like, one day she wasn't there, and the next she was. And then, instantly, her, Harry, Ron and Hermione were really close, and practically out of nowhere her and Harry started going out. And . . . oh ya, her hair changed color once. Hehehe. That was a long time ago. I can't remember it that well. (Miss Megan)
-------I've only written one story that you might classify as a MS, though I don't think so. I started with describing how beautiful she was, and that was a big mistake. (Elanhin)
------Named Minerva Snape. SHE WAS PERFECT! Only had one flaw and that was being a werewolf. I hate her so much! (~*~Jenny~*~)
------I started writing in...like....first grade. *digs around for notebook with that bizarre story in it to see if it's a Mary Sue*....*can't find the @#$#@ thing* I made one of my characters pretty much a Mary Sue, she didn't have the spice and personality she does now. (Lady Meowzalot)
-------I haven't written a Mary-sue yet. Thank GOODNESS. (madman-dreams)
-------All I remember is she was disgustingly perfect in every way. That was over half a year ago so I can't really remember her. Trust me, we're all probably better off forgetting her. (Pooki Ze Great)
-------Shanna Lupin(and her friend too, actually). In my story The Meeting of Lily and James, she's Remus' twin sister. She ends up being friend with Lily and...argh...that's pretty much all I can say. (Alexandra Dragonhart)
-------Oh my gosh, she was terrible! She was not beautiful, but she was a 21st century girl who got transported to Middle-earth. Everyone else could understand her and they were speaking modern-speech, the plot was full of holes, and . . . ugh, it was terrible. (Ednilona)
-------Read my old fic "Harry Potter and The Magi of Love" and look carefully at Misty Silverlight. Then you'll understand. (Fanficfrk45)
--------I hope I haven't written any MSs. I guess there's someone who might be but I can't say without smegging up the element of surprise. I don't think she is - there can be a fine line between OCs (who have to be out of the norm for there to be a point in putting them in) and MSs. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
---------She was using those sort of 'made for movie' lines, that sound good at first sight, though way too over dramatic, but don't mean anything. She was also a lot smarter than everybody else and was busily 'being important.' No wonder I discontinued that ff. (Firebreath)
(4) A character that you put yourself into: tell us about him/her, and how the fact that they were representing you molded them.
-------Oh THIS is easy! I technically was her. Dazzlingly brilliant (as I am, I think), kinda sort of pretty (as I am)...oh yes, and an egotistical brat that can't stop talking to save her life. She's bossy, and domineers any situation...much like I do when in any sort of school group. She isn't me, she's a character, but the fact that I play her certainly gives her a dash of my personality. (Lady Meowzalot)
-------I've written a love story where Haldir, Boromir and Legolas falls in love with the same girl. She's based upon me and my thoughts but I also wish to be her with all the guys swarming around her. (Elanhin)
------The main character in one of my fics was named Britney, which was my name. I changed a few things about her so that she was more of what I'd like to be than what I am. She was outgoing and friendly, but all too much like me, she had a very sharp tongue. (beetlebug13)
------I usually try to "live through" the canon characters I write. Everyone has different views on how Draco really is, or what Snape is like when he's by himself. When I want to show a realistic side of a character, sometimes I use my own motivations, reasons, or judgment. So often I'm not writing about Harry or Ron, I'm writing about myself. (madman-dreams)
-------Alexandra Dragonhart. She's very protective of her loved ones as I am, since I lost quite a few of them. She's also kind of doing things before thinking about it...a trait that got me in trouble more than once. (Alexandra Dragonhart)
--------I put myself into every character, even Snape (in an unpublished fic). Fleur, etc., they all have a lot very in common with me. (Rose Black)
-------Um, well right now there's a girl called Jessica Riddle I'm writing. The fact she's representing me probably shows up in her [very carnal] obsessions with Remus and Sirius. I'd imagine. And probably a million trillion things which I forget only I do. Like calling people "wench" all the time. (Pooki Ze Great)
-------Not really put myself into - they are me. In my Bill fics I have an OC who IS me (except she's at Hogwarts / in the wizarding world). In Bill's diary I could be in real danger of interjecting a lot of my school life into my character's, though, as it's from Bill's POV, these may only be things I know about the character's history that never have to come to light. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
------My newest character that's in a story I'm working on is named Eodwyn, and she's like me because she has a very feisty spirit and really wants to learn how to wield a sword and also, regular Middle-earth "street- fighting". (Ednilona)
(5) Who knows that you write fan fiction?
------*cowers* I'm ashamed to say that most people don't know...just my family, my friend Erin, who also writes fanfiction, and a few friends of Erin's. I've been on the verge of telling my only other three friends, but whenever I start to bring it up with two of them they start making fun of fanfiction and going on tirades about "who has enough time for that," and my other friend just despises Harry Potter...*sighs* So much for openness and honest relationships...ah well, I was never much for those anyway. (Sinical_sarchasm)
-------Hmm...my parents (they'd die a horrible death if they read it), a few of my RL friends, and a LOT of people online. (Lady Meowzalot)
------Well, most of my friends. My parents know too (I think) but they don't know that I'm posting it. (Elanhin)
-------My family - they've read a bit of it, though I always feel really uncomfortable right after I say they can. My sis isn't really interested (thinks I'm a geek) my mum worries about the amount of time I spend on the computer and my dad's quite nice about it (I don't want him to be negative, but I find I wouldn't mind if he left me to it). A few friends know (as I've said before, one got me started on it) and a couple have reviewed. It's not like I make a big deal about it, and I wouldn't tell people about it as the first thing when I meet them, I'd have to trust them loads first. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
------Actually, no one. Haha. My sister once brought up the fact that her best friend wrote a fanfic, and she was very scornful of it. it's not that I'm embarrassed, I just think it's my business. (madman-dreams)
------My friends, all but one finds it sick, my cousin. (My parents have no idea and it's staying that way) My grandma knows. (~*~Jenny~*~)
-------My parents and my friends. They don't read it though. I find it too embarrassing when other people whom I now read my stuff, as often I end up hating it. (Firebreath)
-------My friends, two of my cousins, and my family might know... yeah, they do actually but I don't want them to!!!! (Ednilona)
-------My best friend in the whole world knows [who, coincidentally is also registered on Fanfiction], as do various people on line. May parents are totally oblivious! Mwahaha! (Fanficfrk45)
--------Well I'm not sure of the exact numbers, but I tend to tell everyone I talk to for more than an hour and everyone on my LJ, and blurty, and well, all of my friends.... Let's just say a lot of people who shouldn't know do, shall we? (Pooki Ze Great)
(6) What is/was the craziest dream/fantasy you've had concerning one of the books or fan fiction? (by "dream," I mean when you were actually asleep)
------I was a student at Hogwarts, and in the middle of Potions class, Snape decides to have a 'lice check'. And for some reason, Harry checked my hair, and there was lice crawling all through it. I was pretty freaked out when I woke up. (beetlebug13)
-------One time I dreamt that the cast of LotR came and visited me and they all worshipped me and wanted to date me. That was fun. (Elanhin)
--------I dreamed Dumbledore was meeting Voldemort for a mud-wrestling contest. Dumbledore wasn't up to strength, though, so he tagged in Harry. Harry starts freaking out, saying he's not cut out for this "hero" business. Because he falters Voldemort is able to take the opportunity to jump on top of Harry, completely squishing him--something I've always wanted to try. The jumping, not the squishing. (madman-dreams)
--------I had this really bizarre Harry Potter dream...I was at school and I was riding a broomstick through the hallway and my teacher hit me with her briefcase...or the one where I was an animagus and could turn into a wolf... (DooDLeBuG123190)
-------I was tied to a dungeon wall, Snape was tied up somewhere across from me and Harry had been driven insane. Hagrid breaks the wall down and then suddenly Snape and McGonagall were kissing as were Harry and Hermione. (~*~Jenny~*~)
------Here's a really weird dream: I was Theoden, and I was at the battle of Helm's Deep. I went down the stairs towards the side-door to block anyone from getting in there when I saw Eowyn in another room fighting some other girl who was wearing modern clothing (Eowyn was wearing her white dress) that had a black shirt with pink or yellow lettering on it. I think Eowyn collapsed or something, because the next thing I knew I was fighting the girl. I was definitely thinking MY (Ednilona) thoughts, because it was my first time killing someone and I had no technique, I was just stabbing at her chest and dodging her blows. Then I killed her, and looked at my hands, which were covered in tiny nicks. Next thing I knew, I had woken up. (Ednilona)
------I had a scary dream with a dementor in once.... Craziest, hmmm. I daydream about Bill a LOT and just about what might happen in fics or RPGs - I just drift off into the world and have conversations. My mind is on such a continuous HP / RPG loop that it's what I'm thinking about when I go to sleep and it's the first thing I think of when I wake up, so I probably have loads of weird dreams that I don't remember as they are a (twisted in a bizarre dream way) extension of my consciousness. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
------Oh... there was this amazing Harry Potter one I had a few years ago. In the middle of class my English teacher comes up to me a whispers 'it's ok, I know you're Harry Potter. Professor Dumbledore wants you to come and work in this corner, away from everyone else. You see, there's this code which only you can break, it's the code to defeat Voldemort. And we think he may be coming to get you.' Anyway, eventually Voldemort did come, I hadn't even started breaking the code, and Lord Voldemort turned everyone into pigs. I just managed to avoid the spell and was watching everyone else rampage around the cloak room, then I woke up. Please ignore my insanity. Mungo's is doing all it can. (Firebreath)
-------Ha. Well. Ummm... I had one where me, a bunch of my friends, and random Harry Potter characters were jumping up and down on a gigantic trampoline underneath a purple and orange polka dot sky, while the house elves had an orgy.... No wait I didn't dream that. But wouldn't it have been hilarious if I had? *thinks and giggles* Spifferific! (Pooki Ze Great)
AUTHOR INTERJECTION: One of the dreams sent to me for this question was very long, but it was also hilarious so I put it at the bottom of the page, after the props. PLEASE READ IT!
(7) If you could have one character from either of the books follow you around for one day and act exactly as you would want them to, who would it be? How would you have them act around you?
------Draco! I'd have him act like he is, but a little nicer. I don't want to change him too much. After all, that wouldn't be nice. And I like him the way he is. (Miss Megan)
------Snape...as long as it was only one day. I don't think I could cope with another person being sardonic and cynical much longer. But I love his intelligence/wit, wry sense of humor (if you want to call it that) and his off-beat sexiness. (Okay, so he's way too old...but one can dream, no?) (Sinical_sarchasm)
-------Snape, definitely. I would want him to act exactly as he is, maybe even a bit snakier. Cutting wit is hard to find, and he's a goldmine. I'd probably laugh at everything he said, even if it's degrading me. (madman- dreams)
------Hehehe... Elladan or Elrohir! They would be all cool and really nice to me, like friends are to each other. (Elanhin)
------I'd get Pippin and Merry to follow me around and wreak havoc upon my brother. We need to discover a tape that will rip his eyebrows completely off...and no, duct tape doesn't work. It's been tried. (Lady Meowzalot)
------I would say Bill, but I'd rather have him being with me of his own free will. However if it's a choice of this or never seeing him, of course I'll go for this. I wouldn't want him to act - I'd want him to be genuine. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
------Only one character???????? Aww, fine then. Professor Dumbledore. He would act as if I was Harry Potter basically, pretty sad I know. He'd act as if I was this extremely special person, in short I would become a Mary- Sue and everyone would want to hit Dumbledore over the head for sucking up to me. Or maybe Voldemort, and he would want to kidnap me for some strange reason. Yes, I know you only said one, sorry. (Firebreath)
--------I would have either Jack Sparrow, Legolas Greenleaf, Eowyn, or Aragorn II follow me around and act exactly as they normally do. (Ednilona)
-------Probably either Hermione or the teen Lily...or Sirius. I love Sirius! (DooDLeBuG123190)
------I would choose either Sirius or Severus. Sirius would act playful and flirtatious (of course), and, uh, let's just say that Severus would act daring and confident. (beetlebug13)
------Sirius. He would ignore my friend who's obsessed with him MWAHAHAHA! And he would pester my family. He he. They think he really killed Harry's parents still. (~*~Jenny~*~)
------I would have either Sirius or Aragorn follow me and I would have them act as if they were my boyfriend. Well, most probably Sirius because Aragorn already has a girl and I like her too...as a character I mean. (Alexandra Dragonhart)
------*Grins* Are children going to be reading this? I dunno, either Remus Lupin or Sirius Black and well.... Let's just say the way they'd act would be strictly NC-17, shall we? (Pooki Ze Great)
(8) What was the most irritating piece of fan fiction you've ever read? What made it so irritating?
-------It was called something like A Heart's Entrance or something and Sirius was with Harry. Very graphically! It was removed though. (~*~Jenny~*~)
------I can't remember an annoying fanfic, because I never finish them; I just exit out right then and there. (beetlebug13)
------A one that had a lot of reviews that I absolutely hated. The idea was great, but the way they carried it out wasn't so great. It just kept going and going and going, basically the same things over and over. And then the characters were really OCC. Geez that annoyed me! (Miss Megan)
------The most irritating one was this novel-length (dear lord!) piece. It was Harry/Draco, yet every single male in the fic was hooking up. In the beginning the author was all about "defeating Voldemort" and such, and then she turned to creating couples her top priority. And there was some nonsense about wands and how they connected and such, and every couple had their wands connect and it was just overdone... (madman-dreams)
------I don't know, probably this one on another website where this girl (21st century) got transported back to Middle-earth, went with the Fellowship on their journey. I'm not going to describe the details, but basically they married and moved to Missouri or California or something, and Legolas gave up his mortality. It wasn't bad, it just annoyed me that Legolas gave up his mortality and that they moved to the United States. (Ednilona)
-------A French one - can't remember the name. It was irritating because there was absolutely no paragraphing what so ever. After I'd worked hard translating it, it wasn't worth it because it was one of those annoying ones that spends ages explaining stuff you already know (eg 'Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger - Harry's two best friends at Hogwarts.') I admit some of the poetry of the words or whatever was probably lost on me, but it still stank. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
------Grr. It had to be this one which I couldn't even bear to finish reading or review. It was a Harry Potter one and everyone was out of character, the plot didn't even exist. It was badly written. The worst bit was when I quickly looked at the review page and everyone was saying how good it was. (Firebreath)
-------A few words: Belly button piercing in middle earth. An author who has seen the movie all of three times, and admits this. A "magical elf princess". Red hair with blonde streaks. A low cut two piece dress. The author who thinks she might add a sex scene later. Need I say more? (Lady Meowzalot)
(9) What would you do if they a) put an Arwen-Aragorn sex scene into the Return of the King? What is the worst mistake they could possibly make in either/both of these movies?
-------A) - I would start screaming 'NOOO! Get off him!! He's mine!! My own! My PRECIOUS ARAGORN!' Then pursue my greatest ambition to kill Arwen (and therefore probably get slaughtered by all my friends, who adore Arwen). (Firebreath)
------Oh dear, no thanks for a. Not right. It wouldn't fit. RotK is perfect the way it is, I don't want it changed at all. Of course they will, but not too much. For both of them, delete important scenes. I hate when they do that. And then, instead, they add in a completely new scene that wasn't in the book. That annoys me. (Miss Megan)
------*twitch* Must...kill...I'd probably find a medium; you know, the ones who can supposedly contact dead people? I'd get him/her to use what power they had to reach Tolkien. THEN we'll see what HE thinks...mwahahaha...yes, anyway, worst mistake. I think that's the main one, but I heard they're cutting the Scouring of the Shire. SACRILEGE! (Lady Meowzalot)
-------a) That would wreck it! The A/A thing was only an appendix in the end of RotK (Rose Black)
-------a) I would laugh, clap, and show it to my grandmother, hoping that she would have a heart attack and die. I think the worst mistake they could make is to screw up Remus or Sirius in any way, which they already have by casting people who look nothing like them for the roles. *mutters* Stupid lousy gits... (Pooki Ze Great)
------I would freak out!! The worst thing to do is to make Sirius look extremely disgusting since I picture him as a really good-looking guy, in LotR it must be to leave out big parts *cough*thegreyhavens*cough* or something like that. (Elanhin)
-------For A, I'd totally freak out and probably gag. In my opinion, they portrayed Arwen wrong in the movies, so Aragorn doesn't disserve her, at least in that respect. (beetlebug13)
------A. MY EYES! NO! THEY BURN! (~*~Jenny~*~)
-------a. I would be disgusted, because I hate the couple, but still, it's more of the movie! But they wouldn't do that because of their younger audience. At least, I hope not.
(Ednilona)
-------Oh please. I would be scarred for life and destroy all photographs of Viggo Mortensen (sp?) that I own lest I be reminded of his awful sin. Or something along those lines...I mean, let the viewer decide what he/she wants. Please.
What is the worst mistake they could possibly make in either/both of these movies? In Harry Potter, firing their best actor, Alan Rickman. Hehe, sorry, I've got a bit of an obsession there. Seriously, my list of things they're doing wrong in Harry Potter is so long that I don't even want to be thinking about it right now...the biggest mistake I could see them making is keep going in the same general cinematic direction. Because as of now, the Harry Potter movies have sucked, and nothing anyone (even the almighty Alan Rickman) can do is going to save them unless there's an utter turnaround. (Sinical_sarchasm)
-------Don't get me started on the Harry potter movies. So far I am the only one that has hated them with a vengeance that will never die. Not only do they cut out so many important scenes, they also had bad casting. I think Harry potter should have been done like "James and the Giant Peach," in clay. But that's just me. If they cut out the scene, I wouldn't be surprised. Both a.) and b.) are equally heinous, because sex between Arwen and Aragorn would be to please the audience in the usual "fall in love, have sex, live happily ever after" theme. It's unnecessary really because people get that they love each other. And their love is only a minor theme in the movie. Or should be. (madman-dreams)
------As far as choice 'a' goes, I probably wouldn't care. As long as it's not too explicit. They're a cute couple. However, the people working on Priosoner of Azkaban better watch how they portray the Dementors. If they portray them wrong I would be moved not to see Goblet of Fire, or at the very least, not buy Prisoner of Azkaban on video/DVD. (Fanficfrk45)
-------I probably wouldn't find out for a while as I refuse to watch the films. As far as I'm concerned, they've already made so many major mistakes I can't pick a worst one.
- Emma Watson. I will rant for hours about her. She looks nothing like Hermione. She is determined to disown Hermione because she wants to be pretty and popular - she's ashamed of her character. And she's a crappy actress - she was embarrassed to have to hug DR for God's sake.
- The 'You'll be a great seeker it's in your blood' cheesy plaque scene / all the cheesy scenes they've put in that aren't in the books.
- Cutting Peeves.
(Hermione 'DB' Granger)
-------In PoA if they left out the part where Hermione slaps Draco OR the part where Harry meets Cho OR the part where they first meet Trelawney. (DooDLeBuG123190)
AUTHOR INTERJECTION: WHEN I EDITED THE QUESTIONS PEOPLE HAD SENT ME, I WAS IN A REALLY BIG HURRY AND MADE ONE HUGE MISTAKE. ONE OF THE QUESTIONS HAD AN ERROR IN IT. This was question 9, the one you just read. You see, it used to also give an example of a mistake that could be made in the third book. Unfortunately, it never happened in the third book. I apologize, but offer you to get a kick out of how my slammers reacted to it: B) What would you do if, in the third movie for Harry Potter, they deleted the scene where the Weasleys destroy the Dursley's fireplace? (that was the question I asked)
------*b) Don't you mean GoF? That would be very bad, too. What would they put there? I would post something very angry at the SugarQuill forum.
-------*b. The Weasleys come to Privet Drive in book 3? When did that happen? I thought HP took the Knight Bus to Diagon Alley where he spent awhile there before meeting up with Ron and Hermione.
-------*Now with 'b', I think you made a mistake. Unless I'm wrong, the Weasleys don't come to Number 4 in Prisoner of Azkaban. They do that in Goblet of Fire. But for that, I would be extremely upset. How would Harry get to Hogwarts if the Weasleys didn't blow up the Dursley's fireplace?
-------*I'm appalled at you! That scene is in book 4!!!!!! It will kill me if they cut it because I love it (it's SO funny - Mr. Weasley and his plug collection. You gotta love him for it! You just gotta love him generally).
(10) Admit something here about either your fan fiction or the books that you have never admitted to anyone else, maybe even yourself.
-------I hate my obsession with fan fiction. I am constantly wanting to read a story, and if not, than I want to write one. It must be destroying my eyes by now. Lol, but I'm not saying I would stop. No, I don't think I could stop. Or... ya, I'm starting to make no sense... (Miss Megan)
-------I am rather ashamed of my fanfiction obsession...of all of it, the better fanfiction included. Even though I pretend not to care. *sighs* So much for keeping up appearances. Also, I was rabidly anti-Harry Potter before I actually got of my arse and read them...not in a Christian- fundamentalist sort of way (because I'm an atheist....) but in a these-are- stupid-overrated-children's-books sort of way (Sinical_sarchasm)
-------If I had to be serious about my writing--I'd say it sounds like I'm reaching for too much. The-kid-that-crossed-the-street-only-to-be-run-over- by-a-bus. When I try for angst, it's just melodramatic crap. When I try for humor, I realize just how unfunny I am. My writing's too simple and the feelings too shallow. (madman-dreams)
------I find Snape hot. Wait, I have admitted that. I write slashes (which I have never posted) I hint at them. I write them full out. I never post them. But half of them are very good and so in character it's believable. (~*~Jenny~*~)
------If I didn't have HP / ff I'd probably have killed myself or got into serious self harm by now. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)
-------I actually started my fan fiction "The Blood Clan and the Marauders" because a friend of mine said that when I wrote a scene were a werewolf kills a Hogwarts teacher in another story, it was my best piece ever. I wanted to write it to do that kind of stuff and it became much more than that. (Alexandra Dragonhart)
-------I always think that just maybe this time I written one good enough to have about 20 reviews the next time I check my stats (and believe me I check them a lot). I really shouldn't have admitted that. (Firebreath)
-------When I stopped writing fan fiction for a while, it was because I was honestly tired of it. However, when I re-started writing, I dunno, a month and some ago(?), it was because I am a funny little review whore who needs lots of people boosting her ego so that she can stay sane through the drudgery that is "real" life. (Pooki Ze Great)
------Both of my characters are Mary-Sues in my stories, I guess, that's it. (Ednilona) I think I'm a better writer than I actually am. Sometimes it takes the occasional flame to help me see that. (Fanficfrk45)
--------It's all what I wish: that I could be in those books/situations. I wish I could be a poor orphan Newsie, a Mary Sue, an HP character, a girl squire, a girl in Miss Hannigan's orphanage. I put myself there because a lot of my writing is sort of wish-fulfillment--I think it is to many people. My writing is my personal fantasies. (Rose Black)
END AUTHOR'S NOTE: Basically this: old slammers and new slammers wanted. Email me or review and I'll put you on the list.
PROPS:
* My slammers! You guys rock! Also thanks to everyone who used correct grammar and capitalization when slamming. It made my life 10x easier. But to all slammers: YOU GUYS ARE MY HEROES! Keep up the good work!
* Sinical_sarchasm - thank you so much for your insanely long answers, and for letting me edit them down. I was really grateful for the time you took to slam.
* Hermione 'DB' Granger - thanks again, and thanks for being a constant. It's good, definitely (although I'll warn you I'll only let on one more Emma Watson rant). Haha . . . you rock!
Sinical_sarchasm's HILARIOUS dream:
I was swimming in a very cold bay, shivering. Suddenly, I heard my mum's voice, "Katy (my dog}! Jack (my cat)! Come in here or else I will burn your tails!" Katy and Jack dutifully came (don't ask me how they could understand, this is, as you are finding out now, a strange senseless dream in which most things don't make sense.).
Then, after a few moments, I heard my mum say, "Etha! Come here too! Or else I will burn your tail!" She was just joking though, because I did not have a tail. So I came back and went onto the big, wooden dock.
For some strange reason, I decided to take a little stroll on the dock. I was walking when I saw that Prof. Severus Snape was standing there, holding a Philosopher's Stone! Harry Potter was there also, for no apparent reason, and he had a bushy tail. He said, "Prof. Snape gave me this tail!" Then, without another word, he disappeared.
Strangely enough, I wasn't at all surprised in finding Harry Potter (with a tail), Snape, and the Philosopher's Stone with me on the dock. Prof. Snape said, "Look! I have a Philosopher's Stone!"
Instead of being surprised at seeing all this magic on the dock, I just said, "Uh...that's nice." I wondered if it was legal or not, but I didn't ask.
Then Snape said, "Now I will live forever!"
All of a sudden, Snape disappeared. In his place was Prof. Phaedrus (an RPG character who is a Slytherin teacher), who was holding the exact same stone as Prof. Snape was holding (don't ask me how I knew that this was the same one, I have no idea). So I said, "Uh, Prof. Phaedrus, why are you where Prof. Snape was just a second ago and holding his stone?"
He said, "Prof. Snape and I are one and the same!" Then he laughed. It was a strange laugh, not humorous yet not evil either.
I didn't really understand this but I didn't feel like arguing with him about it, or discussing it, so I said, "Oh. Well..er...that's very interesting."
So Prof. Phaedrus said, "Yes, it is, isn't it! It is a much better way to live forever than what I was doing before." (In the RPG he was taking some kind of Elixir of Life pills to make him not age.)
So I said, "Yeah, uh, I guess it is." (What a brilliant answer, eh?)
Then, out of the blue, he said, "You know, this is illegal for me to be making the Stone not under the eyes of the ministry and then use it also without the ministry knowing." (I have no idea why he decided to tell me this, especially since in the RPG he's a Slytherin teacher and I'm a Gryffindor.)
"Really?" I said, "I didn't know that." Then I decided it was a bad thing that he was breaking the law, so I drew out my wand (how did I get a wand?) and I said, pointing to the stone, "Accio Stone!" The stone flew into my hand. Apparently Phaedrus didn't have his wand with him, because he did absolutely nothing to stop me and/or try to get the stone back.
So I ran and ran on the dock, which seemed to stretch on endlessly, clutching the stone in one hand and my wand in the other. Then I bumped into Nicholas Flamel. He had a tail, and it was white, but not nearly as bushy as the one Harry had had. I said, "Oh, sorry I bumped into you. Hi Nick!" (I have no idea, once again, how I knew who it was.)
Then I noticed that he was dying. He said, "Hello little girl. The stone is destroyed, and I am dying!" He didn't seem very sad about that.
I was kind of mad at him for calling me a little girl, since I am thirteen, but I felt sorry for him because he was dying. I said, "Well, I have good news! I found another stone!"
Nicholas Flamel, for some strange reason, didn't seem at all surprised that I had found a second Sorcerers Stone. Instead he said, "I am going onto the next great adventure."
I said, "Yeah, I know you are. Do you want the stone? It has the Elixir of Life, obviously, so you can take it and keep on living!"
But Nicholas said, "Oh, no, little girl. I have lived my life and am ready for the next great adventure. Let the Stone be your gift, little girl." (That little girl stuff was really annoying to my dream-self.)
Then I woke up, my hand on the Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone book, which was beside my pillow.