Title: A Day In The Life of… White House Deputy Communications Director
Disclaimer: *So* not mine ::sigh::
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Through Season 4
Feedback: Sure, send it my way :-)
Thanks: Huge thank to Sharon for the beta.
Part 2/8
**
Sometimes I love working in the White House, and the people I work with, but other times…not so much. Take today for example; I discovered that even the Senior Assistants have an evil streak. Oh, I don't mean *evil* evil, I mean… You know, it's probably better if I explain what happened…
Four days ago, on Monday, I bumped into Donna in the Mess, late in the evening. I joined her for a quick snack and we got talking; just small talk, like you do over food. Anyway, the conversation turned to how I was settling into my job and I asked Donna if she missed Sam, as I know many of the others do, especially Toby, although he'd never admit that. She told me that it was certainly strange not having him around, but that everyone was adjusting, although all the Assistants were feeling it this week. I asked what she meant by that and was informed of something I never knew about - the Senior Staff/Senior Assistants monthly dinner.
You're wondering what exactly the Senior Staff/Senior Assistants monthly dinner is, aren't you? Well, I wondered that too, so I asked Donna. She said that, once a month, all the Senior Assistants (i.e. Donna, Carol, Bonnie, Ginger and Margaret) are taken out to dinner by one member of the Senior Staff (i.e. Josh, Toby, CJ or Leo). Up until he left, Sam participated in this as well. It apparently gives the assistants a chance to get to know the Senior Staff members who aren't their bosses a bit better than they do in the office. This week was supposed to be Sam's turn to take them out and next month it's CJ's turn.
Now, I know what you're thinking; you're thinking that you've never heard this mentioned before and it sounds dubious. I gotta admit, I did wonder about it myself. I decided not to ask Donna if she was messing with me, as if I was wrong, I would appear incredibly rude. Instead, I decided to do a little fact-finding. Things got pretty busy though and it was the following evening before I even remembered about it; I was reminded when I overheard Bonnie and Ginger talking.
Now, before you start calling me names or anything, I wasn't eavesdropping. I was simply sitting in my office, working, when I heard Bonnie and Ginger out in the bullpen. It was pretty late and they were the only people still out there. Anyway, I heard Ginger ask Bonnie what she was planning on wearing and at first I though Bonnie had a date. Then I heard them both say that, no matter what either of them wore, CJ would still look better. This intrigued me until I remembered Donna telling me the previous evening that CJ was the next organizer of the Senior Staff/Senior Assistants dinner. I was still a little dubious but, glancing at my calendar, I noticed that we were nearly at the end of the month and the following week - the week they were talking about - would in fact be part of *next* month; they had to be talking about the dinner, right? Yeah, that's what I thought.
I was a little disheartened to think that none of them asked me to participate in the dinner, but then I realized that they probably didn't want to force me into anything. Being the charming man that I am - and I have been told that a few times over the years, so I'm not being vain or anything - I decided that I should do the 'decent' thing and volunteer to take over Sam's traditional spot; after all, I've taken over his job already. The thing is though, I don't want to come across as trying to take Sam's place, I'm not trying to do that. I just want to find my own place within the Administration, but also fulfil Sam's duties; I'd say taking the Senior Assistants out to dinner constitutes a 'duty'.
Anyway, the following day I sent an e-mail to Bonnie, Ginger, Donna, Carol and Margaret inviting them all to have dinner with me, at a time suitable for themselves. I said that, to keep with tradition, it should be this week, but I understood if it was too short notice for them. I immediately received grateful replies from them all, and the general consensus was that either the Thursday or Friday nights would be suitable. We settled on Friday and I booked a nice restaurant for the six of us.
This all brings me to today, Friday. The restaurant was booked for 7pm, so why am I now sitting in my office at 7:05pm? Well, that's where the 'evil streak' I mentioned earlier comes in. I found out this afternoon that the whole thing was a prank, but I didn't find out in a nice, self-respecting, dignity-in-tact manner, oh no, I found out in full view of the entire Senior Staff, and the President!
We were in the Oval Office for the Senior Staff meeting and this is exactly how it happened…
*
"Alright, since it seems to be a light day today, how about we have a poker evening tonight?" the President asks.
Okay, everyone seems pretty happy about that and I'm game - I can, after all, hold my own at poker. Although…
"Um, Debbie's not going to be playing again, is she, Sir?" I bravely query.
The President is shooting me a grin, but he's shaking his head. Phew, I guess that means she's not playing and my money might just be safe.
"No, Will, it will just be those of us who are currently in the Oval Office."
Okay, that's good, I can handle that. I nod my head and everyone follows suit - guess we're all spending Friday night playing poker. Wait, this is Friday? Oh…
"Uh, Sir, sorry, but I can't make it," I say pretty quietly.
All eyes turn to me. "You can't make it?" the President asks with raised eyebrows.
"No."
"Something better to do?"
Uh oh, he's trying to bait me.
"Not exactly, Sir, but it's something I can't cancel."
"Is it a date?" Okay, I can see the mischievous twinkle in his eye; this isn't going to end well.
"No, Sir."
"Well, if it's not a date, I'm sure you can cancel. Come on, Will, let me take your money."
Yeah, like he's gonna beat *me*. Wait, why is he looking at me like that? Did I just say that out loud?
"What do you have planned, Will?" he demands to know, and I sense he's not going to let me go until I reveal all.
"Um, it's my turn for the Senior Staff/Senior Assistants dinner," I explain.
"The what?" everyone asks.
Why are they all looking puzzled? They all know about this, well, maybe the President doesn't, but the rest of them do.
"You know, where one of the Senior Staff takes all the Senior Assistants out to dinner once a month. This month should have been Sam's turn, so I thought I should step in."
Why are those looks passing between them all? Wait, why are they all laughing?
"The Senior Staff/Senior Assistants dinner?" Josh asks. I nod. "I hate to burst your bubble there, Will, but there's no such thing."
WHAT? "What? I mean, excuse me? What do you mean?"
"I mean that I've worked here for four years and I've never taken all the Senior Assistants out to dinner, at least, not on my own."
He hasn't? "But, Donna…"
Okay, *that* got Josh's full attention and stopped him laughing at me.
"Donna what?" he demands.
"Donna was the one who told me about it. She said it was a regular event; you know, each of you take turns every month to take them out, so that the sssistants can get to know us all better."
Toby's giving me a strange look.
"You really thought *I* would participate in this…thing?" he questions.
Ah hell, why didn't I think about that?!!! No wonder Josh is grinning widely, he's realized just how convincing Donna was in executing the plan; actually, he's looking kinda proud. Wait a minute, did --
"Josh, you didn't have anything to do with this, did you?" CJ just took the words right out of my mouth.
"No, CJ, I didn't. Donna and the assistants must have cooked this up by themselves."
"Well, in that case, I wouldn't be grinning so much," CJ tells him with a smirk.
"Huh?"
"Think about it, Josh," CJ continues. "If Donna pulled this off so easily, just think what she could do to you."
"I'm not that gullible," he retorts. Hey now, wait a minute.
"Does that mean you think *I'm* gullible?" I demand to know.
"Well, you did fall for one of Donna's pranks so, if the cap fits…"
"And you've never fallen for one of Donna's pranks?" I sure hope this is Toby's way of jumping in to defend me. Josh just looks at him curiously. "I seem to remember a certain meeting you had with someone from the NSA just before we officially took office."
Josh looks puzzled. Oh, his eyes have narrowed now; I guess he's remembered something.
"Sam!" he guesses and Toby nods. I wonder what that is about, no-one looks to be about to clue me in though; I'll just have to ask Toby later, it'll take his mind away from laughing at me.
"Well, I guess we all need to be wary of the assistants, don't we?" the President laughs. "You were really going to take them all out for dinner?"
"Yes, I've even booked a restaurant," I say weakly, feeling myself flush with embarrassment.
"You were going to pay?"
"Yes," I confirm, briefly meeting his eyes before returning to my new favorite activity of inwardly kicking myself.
"Well, I think that's highly admirable."
Huh? I'm looking at him directly now and he's smiling at me, while everyone else is looking confused.
"When was the last time any of you had dinner with your assistants?" the President asks us all.
Everyone thinks for a moment and then Josh smugly replies, "I had dinner with Donna just last night, Sir."
"I meant *outside* of the office, Josh, not take-out at your desk while you worked."
Ha, that taught Josh; he's looking down at his shoes now and everyone is smirking.
"I don't know what the rest of you are grinning about, it's not as though any of you have a different answer," the President continues. "You know, the Senior Assistants do a sterling job around here and I don't think any of you appreciate that enough."
"Sir, --" Leo starts to interrupt, but is silenced by a look from the President.
"I think, since Will has a restaurant booked, you should all go out tonight, with your Assistants, and treat them to a well-deserved meal away from the office."
Everyone is groaning; they're all glaring at me as well. This can't be good.
"Sir, I thought you wanted to play poker," Leo points out.
"Yes, but I need to find a way of thanking the Assistants as well, so this can be it; I'm giving up a night of winning all your money at poker so that you can take them out to dinner instead."
"What about Debbie and Charlie though, Sir, shouldn't they get to participate in this?"
I think Josh regretted that statement as soon as he made it; I know he *definitely* did when he caught Toby's look.
"You're right, Josh, they should. Does that mean you're volunteering to pay for them, since I obviously can't attend tonight?"
I think the 'Oh, God' look on Josh's face says it all; he doesn't have to answer.
"Don't worry, Josh," the President tells him, "I'm going to invite Charlie and Debbie to join me for dinner in the Residence tonight."
"I think they'd probably rather go with us, Sir."
Wow, Josh really *can't* control his mouth; I always thought the stories about him were exaggerated, but I guess not.
"I don't remember actually agreeing to any of this," Toby points out. The President is raising his eyebrows. "But, of course, I *do* agree; it's a wonderful idea, Sir," he deadpans.
Why do I have the feeling that Toby is going to blame me for all this? Hmm, maybe because he's glaring at me and mouthing the words, "This is your fault."
*
It wasn't long until the President finally let us leave the Oval Office and I was literally dragged by the arm towards my own office, where I was cornered by CJ, Toby and Josh; I guess Leo decided they could deal with me on their own.
"You're an idiot!"
"Gee, thanks, CJ."
"Oh, come on, Will, how the hell did you fall for something like that?" Toby demands. I'm hoping that the amusement I can make out in his tone is a good thing, although it's almost imperceptible amongst the gruffness.
"Hey, apparently I'm not the only one who's fallen for one of Donna's pranks."
Yeah, I know that was a lame attempt, but at least it's got CJ and Toby glaring at Josh and not me, for the moment.
"That's a good point, but we'll come back to Josh's idiocy later," CJ states.
"Hey!"
Josh is trying to look indignant, but it's not working very well.
"However, in the meantime, I want to know how you could fall for something so…" CJ stops and ponders for a moment; guess she's trying to find the word.
"Completely stupid," Toby supplies.
Thanks for the help there, boss.
"Thanks." Uh oh, she's looking at me again. "Well?"
She doesn't really expect me to answer that, does she? Okay, I'm guessing her pointed look means that she does. I wonder if I'd get away with dragging her into this? What do I have to lose?
"I believed it for two reasons," I start. They're all waiting patiently for me to explain; well, okay, not *patiently* - CJ's eyebrows are meeting her hairline, Josh is tapping his right foot and waving his arms to signal me to hurry up and Toby is…well, Toby's picked up a draft of the speech on my desk and has taken a pen out of his pocket, a *red* pen. "Firstly, Donna was very convincing; how was I to know she could be so devious? I mean, she looks so innocent."
What the hell? CJ just snorted.
"Innocent?" she laughs. Josh is glaring at her; I should have guessed he'd jump to Donna's defense right away. "Will, she works for *Josh*; you don't think she's picked a thing or two up over the years on how to be Machiavellian?"
"Hey, I'm still in the room, you know!" Josh points out indignantly.
"Yeah, I know she will have, and that's why I wasn't sure about it, but there was further evidence."
"Like what?" CJ questions.
"You."
"Me?" She looks confused, but she's glaring at me anyway.
"Yeah, I heard Bonnie and Ginger talking about going out with you next week. They also said that Donna, Margaret and Carol were going. Donna told me that yours was the next turn for the Senior Staff/Senior Assistants dinner, so…"
"So, you put two and two together and came up with five?" Josh finishes for me.
"I guess," I shrug.
"And, you didn't think to check this information with me?" CJ asks.
"I did, kinda," I say feebly. She's looking at me questioningly again; I wish she'd stop doing that; she's a scary woman. "I dropped off a draft of a speech on your desk the day after and I heard you and Carol talking about going out with Donna, and everyone else next week. Are you denying you have something planned?"
Ha, the ball is back in her court now, and Toby is waiting for her to explain; he's actually stopped scoring things out on my speech. You know, I'm sure he's just being vicious with that to get revenge on me for writing a faultless speech recently - the President hasn't stopped reminding him about it.
"No, I'm not denying we have something planned," CJ replies. "However, it's merely a 'girls night out', certainly not me buying them all dinner."
"Oh, well, how was I supposed to know that?"
"Maybe by *asking*?" she tells me.
"And maybe by using that thing you call a *brain* to figure out that I wouldn't be involved in something like that," Toby states dryly.
*
So, that was pretty much how I ended up here, sitting in my office waiting for everyone to finish up for the night so we can go to dinner. I e-mailed the assistants and told them that I knew about the prank; I knew they'd received it when I heard the laughter coming from Bonnie and Ginger. Then, each of the Senior Staff invited their respective Senior Assistant out to dinner. It was kinda funny actually, I happened to overhear Josh asking Donna. You know, I'm probably giving the impression that I overhear a lot of things; I don't do it on purpose, I just happen to be in the right place at the right time. Anyway, I was outside Josh's office, reading a file I'd just been handed in the corridor, and I heard Josh ask Donna if she'd like to have dinner with him this evening. Her voice held a quality I'd never heard before as she accepted, and then it went back to normal when Josh explained that we would all be there. Actually, her voice didn't go back to normal, she sounded a little disheartened. She sounded even worse when Josh continued to tell her that the President pretty much ordered him to invite her. The look on her face when she left the office was not a happy one, and I'm sure I heard Josh bang something down on the desk; the red spot on his forehead when he emerged from his office a few moments later led me to believe that it had been his head.
Oh, I can hear commotion outside, I guess we're ready to go. Yep, Toby just threw one of those rubber balls against the window; it's time to go.
*
You know, I didn't think this dinner would prove to be as fun as it has been, especially considering the rest of the Senior Staff didn't really want to come in the first place. I don't really know what's happened to change their minds, or their moods, but I'm not complaining. Well, actually, I *do* know what's changed Josh's mind, or at least I *think* I do; I think it probably has to do with the fact that Donna is practically draped over him at the moment. No, not in *that* way but…well, maybe it's a *little* in that way. See, they've been sharing food - apparently they do that a lot - and Josh has the plate positioned in such a way that Donna has to reach past him to retrieve anything.
Josh and Donna, now there's a subject I could 'wax lyrical' about for hours. I noticed their closeness pretty much when I first met them, but I wasn't sure at first if it just came from working together for 18 hours a day. However, when I started on staff here, I realized that it's just Josh and Donna; no other boss and assistant are quite as close. Oh, everyone respects each other and are close, but not in the same way. There's something…well, *something* about Josh and Donna. I mean, take the night of the Inauguration, the thing with the snowballs. I can't think that Toby would ever do that for Bonnie or Ginger; in fact, I'm pretty sure he would have fired them for taking the blame for the quote. Josh though, he was devastated when Donna said it was her, and he was over the moon to find out that it wasn't. All the way over to her apartment, when we were in the cab, he kept going on about how mad he was, but there was a sparkle in his eyes as he spoke. I gotta say, the look on his face when Donna came down to the street in her ballgown - I thought his jaw was gonna hit the ground and be covered in snow! It's no wonder though, she's a beautiful woman - I made the mistake of saying that to him a couple of weeks ago; I won't be doing that again, he gave me on those 'back off, buster' looks.
Oops, I think CJ just said something to me and I completely missed it because I was caught up in my reverie.
"What was that, CJ?"
"I asked if you've thought up suitable revenge for the lovely assistants here."
"Oh, no, not yet, but I will," I vow. Donna's laughing at me, as is Leo; what does he know that I don't?
"Let me give you some advice, Will?" Leo says.
"Yes?" I'm not really sure where he's going to go with this.
"Don't exact revenge, it'll just escalate and you'll never win."
"Why not?" I'm confused here, I mean, does Leo think I can't be devious or something?
"Because, from what I gather, the main culprit behind this is Donna; she came up with the plan. If you go against Donna, Josh will get roped into it and you don't want that; believe me, they make a formidable team."
You know, it's really interesting to me how Leo and Toby are very protective of Donna and jump to her defense. I don't blame them, she's highly capable, but it's interesting that she gets a lot more leeway than I think the other assistants would. She also seems to be involved in a lot more things than the other assistants are, but I guess that comes from working for Josh.
Uh oh, Leo's words have caused Josh to start boasting about his *master prankster* skills and he's waving his arms around the table. Donna just grabbed his hand to stop him knocking over her wine glass. Well, there's something interesting - Donna pulled Josh's hand away from the table and placed it in his lap, but she didn't let go of his hand. In other words, they're holding hands; Donna's right hand is clasped in Josh's right hand and they're draped across Josh's lap - I know this because I'm sitting next to Donna. From the look that just passed between them as they released their hands, I don't think they realized what they were doing; I think it was an entirely unconscious act from both of them. I wonder if…nah, they can't be, they wouldn't be able to keep it quiet. I just glanced at Leo, who's sitting next to Josh, to see if he's noticed the scene that's playing out. He apparently has as he and Josh just shared a look; in fact, I'm pretty sure Leo just mouthed the words, "Slowly, Josh, remember your plan", but I've never been a great lip-reader, so I can't be sure.
You know what, I think I'm gonna stop thinking about all this and over-analyzing; I'm just gonna enjoy the meal and spend some time with my colleagues, no, my *friends*.
**
The End
Still to come, in Part 3, what's been happening in CJ's life lately?