Title: A Day In The Life of… White House Press Secretary

Disclaimer: *So* not mine ::sigh::

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Through Season 4

Feedback: Sure, send it my way :-)

Thanks: As ever, to Sharon for all her help and suggestions.

Part 3/8

**

Urgh, I am gonna *kill* Carol, she's way too soft with Danny. That's the third time this week that she's let him into my office while I've been out. I've got back to find him sitting on my couch, waiting for me with this stupid grin on his face. I hope he hasn't been using his journalistic skills to get information from Carol about me.

What did he want this time? Well, the same as he always wants of course - me to go out to dinner with him. Actually, he wanted me to tell him that I'm madly in love with him, but he said he'd settle for dinner. I refused, as usual. Don't get me wrong, I like Danny and there was a time when… But, it can't happen; I can't go out with a reporter, it would be totally unprofessional and unethical. Plus, Leo would kill me.

I have to admit though, Danny and I had dinner in my office not that long ago. It wasn't my choice; I was pretty much forced into it. You see, Danny had turned up to claim his 'visitation rights' with Gail. Yeah, I know, I told him he was crazy as well, but it was kind of amusing. I pointed out, again, that he had given Gail to me as a *gift* and he therefore had no rights, but he wouldn't listen. When he kneeled down beside my desk and started talking to Gail, I couldn't help myself and I burst out laughing. I don't know if it was Danny talking to her, or my sudden outburst, but it startled Gail and she swam into the edge of the bowl. No, don't ask me how she managed to do that - I thought fish had a good sense about these things, but apparently not Gail. Of course, Danny blamed me and I blamed Danny and we both looked at Gail - she seemed okay, but she was swimming very slowly. I ordered Danny out of my office, but he said he had to stay to make sure Gail was okay; I refused and threw him out.

So, how did we end up eating dinner together? Well, Danny returned that evening with some Chinese take-out. He informed me that he was very worried about Gail and he needed to monitor her closely, in case she had concussion. I really couldn't believe my ears, as he actually seemed serious. Anyway, I decided I wasn't going to give up the opportunity of free food, so I deigned to let him stay. It wasn't long before we were laughing heartily and I had actually forgotten my annoyance at him taking over my office. In fact, we were soon teaming up together against Josh.

Joshua Lyman, for a reason best known to himself, thought it was wise to enter my office that night. Now, normally, that wouldn't be a problem; in fact, I would have been grateful for the additional company when Danny was around. However, this particular night, Josh was eating his own take-out when he came into my office. No big deal, you say? Well, the take-out was sushi. Yes, pieces of fish. He was eating fish in front of Gail! Danny was the first to realize what he was eating and, when Josh confirmed it, we ganged up to yell at him. Josh had the gall to look at us like we were crazy. He even said that Gail wouldn't have a clue what was going on; I was so proud of Danny when he grabbed Josh's arm and dragged him out of the office, warning him not to insult Gail's intelligence again. To be honest, I know neither of us wanted rid of Josh for that reason, it was just a convenient excuse. The real reason was that we were enjoying ourselves, just the two of us. I can't believe I just admitted that, but it's true. That's why I'm in the predicament I'm in; Danny is getting under my skin again and I can't let that happen.

All this talk of dinner is making me think about the Senior Staff/Senior Assistants dinner we were forced into having last week. The assistants had played a prank on Will and, well, it kind of backfired - not for them, they still got a free meal out of it - but for the rest of us, as we got dragged along. Not that any of us were really complaining; it turned out to be a good night. We don't really get the chance to socialize that often outside the White House, certainly not all of us; usually it's just the Senior Staff, excluding Leo, but none of the assistants, well, except for Donna, but she's always been different. Okay, that probably sounds a bit derogatory towards the other assistants; it's not meant to be, it's just that…how can I explain this? You know what, I don't think I should start thinking about Josh and Donna - and there is a 'Josh and Donna', I just don't think they've both realized that yet, but Josh has, oh yes, I'm sure of that.

Anyway, the dinner we all had together turned out to be a great night, but Will seemed to think that it signaled the end of his hazing. He's probably right, I mean, I certainly don't have anything more planned for him in terms of *hazing*, but I will still play the occasional prank, as I do with everyone, just to make him feel part of the team.

You know, my relationship with Will is something I'd never have guessed about - oh, I don't mean we're having a *relationship*, I mean that we're friends, more than just colleagues; we seem to have formed a strong bond. Sam and I always got on well - who didn't get on with Sam? - but it was different. Obviously, I also have strong bonds with Toby and Josh, but they're very different from the bond I have with Will; I have a very different bond with Toby than the one I have with Josh as well. With Josh, he's more like a brother to me; that's the reason I bought him the pajamas when he got shot - it's something that sisters do. I need to act like the stern older sister when I'm around Josh, which is strange given the closeness in our ages. He just gets himself into so many…scrapes though; he's like a little kid. The thing is, he doesn't mean anyone any harm, he always does things with the best of intentions. Politically, he's a mastermind, a major player, but personally, he's like…a lost little boy with moments of brilliance, looking for direction to channel his energy. He needs someone to bring him back to reality every once in a while, when he goes off half-cocked to help out his friends.

My relationship with Toby is built around how well we know each other, and each other's limits. I admit, I flirt with Toby, but I never mean anything by it, and he knows that. He's one of my best friends and, when I need to let off a little steam, I go to Toby and try to freak him out by flirting - the look on his face is usually reward enough; if I get a smile it's like hitting the jackpot.

Will and I just seemed to hit it off. I didn't think we would at first, but I think I was impressed by his calm attitude to the whole goat-in-his-office thing. The real 'crunch-time' though was when we had the problems with the landing gear on Air Force One. I forced him into telling the Press Corps about it, and he handled it well…well, he handled it okay; he's obviously not a good liar, but I should really admire that, since he's been so successful in politics but isn't really able to lie. Anyway, he kept a cool head in an intense situation and that's what we need. When I'm around him I get to act like a kid again; I don't know why, but I do. Will seems to take it all in his stride, nothing really phases him. He's a smart guy and I respect him, and I'm very glad he's working with us. Well, he's smart apart from falling for pranks so easily.

As a result of the assistants playing the prank on Will so effortlessly, all the Senior Staff are now scared of what might be done to them. Well, that's not strictly true, I mean Leo isn't scared; they know he could fire them, so they won't risk anything. I'm not scared either, as I'm friends with them all and often give them some nice gossip that they wouldn't otherwise know about their bosses. Toby would never admit he's scared, but I know he's worried - he caught Bonnie and Ginger saying something about taking all the punctuation out of one of his speeches and blaming Will a couple of days ago and he's now examining everything extra-carefully before he releases it. Will and Josh though, they're pretty much terrified. Will doesn't know anyone well enough to figure out pranks as easily and Josh, well, he knows Donna can wrap him around her little finger whenever she wants - he'd never openly admit that, but we all know it's true.

I guess you still want to know what I'm going to do about Danny, don't you? Well, the answer is that I honestly have no idea; it's a complicated situation. Last time, a couple of years ago, Leo gave me a warning about getting too involved with Danny; he thought I was too friendly with the press in the first place and dating Danny…well, let's just say he would not have been happy and I might have been looking for another job. Oh, he didn't threaten me with unemployment, but I knew what my options were. At that time, I was a couple of years younger and still thought I had time to worry about who I would be settled down with in my old age. Now though, where am I? I'm still in the same place I was a couple of years ago - nowhere. I don't have a love life; I hardly even have time for 'dalliances'. Oh, sure, there was Marco when I went back home to visit Dad, but that wasn't exactly a night to remember, it was a night to forget - to forget about all the stress at home; both home in Ohio with Dad and home in D.C. where I think of Simon every time I walk towards my office in the morning, expecting to find him there.

Simon…I know I didn't know him that long, but there was something between us, definitely something. Where it might have led, well, I guess I'll never know. I do know though that I still think about him, a lot. Expecting to see him outside my office is evidence of that. Hell, he was only my Secret Service protection for a few weeks, but I got used to him, despite my constant grumbling about him. That will always be one of my biggest regrets - not being able to see where things might have gone between us, having that opportunity ripped away. I now know how Donna must have felt the night Josh was shot. I watched her closely that night. When Toby told her Josh had been hit, it was like her whole world fell apart. She tried to put on a brave face, but we knew, we all knew. If Josh hadn't pulled through, I don't think Donna could have coped. Oh sure, she would have *survived*, but she wouldn't be the Donna that we know; something would have died along with Josh, the spark would have left her. After that night, I couldn't understand why things didn't change between them. I thought they had at one time, they seemed closer, *much* closer, but it turned out that nothing had really changed. Then, Amy came on the scene, although I still think Josh dated her for a reason other than just that he liked her; I have this feeling that he was making some sort of point. I don't know why I think that, but I do.

Thinking of Rosslyn brings me back to my earlier thoughts, about the fact that Josh realizes his feelings towards Donna now. I don't think he did back then, I think his subconscious had masked them incredibly well. He knew she was special, and that his life was improved by having her in it, but I don't think he knew just how much he needs her; he does now though. I had my suspicions around Christmas time and I watched him closely to have them confirmed, but there was no firm evidence. My suspicions were pretty strong though - when Donna left to meet Jack in the hotel, Josh moped around the office for the rest of the night. He was working, making phone calls with Leo, but he looked pretty depressed. I couldn't even tempt him with the thought of putting snowmen in the Press Room, even though he'd been looking forward to it earlier. I knew the reason was because of Donna leaving, but he wouldn't admit it.

Then Danny told me about the night of the Inauguration and all the guys going to Donna's apartment. I remember the look on Josh's face when I first told him about the quote; he immediately jumped to Donna's defense but, when I told him she'd called me and confessed, he looked like his world had been torn apart. I know I jumped to the conclusion that it was Donna *way* too easily, and I haven't forgiven myself for that; I can't believe I thought the worst of my friend before I had any real evidence, before she called me.

Back to Josh though. When I heard that Donna had taken the blame for Jack, I wondered why Josh hadn't gotten madder. I mean, it meant that Donna cared enough about Jack to take the heat off him; I didn't think Josh would be happy to realize that. Then I figured it out. Josh knew that Donna did it because she's that sort of person, she'll sacrifice herself to save others. That's why she and Josh are so well suited; Josh will do anything for anyone if he can help - well, his friends anyway. Donna just wanted to buy enough time for Jack to get to his new assignment; she knew Josh would figure things out eventually. I have to say, she must have an awful lot of confidence in the relationship between herself and Josh to have taken that sort of risk. Any other boss might just have fired her on the spot for embarrassing the Administration like that and then, when the truth emerged later, it would have been too late; she couldn't have been rehired. However, she knew Josh wouldn't fire her, not without giving her a chance to fully explain when he had calmed down enough. I don't think Donna realizes the main reason *why* Josh won't fire her though. She doesn't know that it's only *partly* because he trusts her and needs her skills to help him do his job. She doesn't know that the other part is because he's in love with her and couldn't bear not having her in his life.

I've considered discussing this with Donna, but I haven't so far. I don't really know what's been stopping me, I want to help Josh and I don't think he'll make a move on his own. However, I just have this…feeling that something is in the 'works'; that he now has some sort of plan. That in itself should be enough to worry me - I know how Josh's plans usually turn out - but I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt, although, I am going to give him a bit of a helping hand. I'm going out this week with all the Senior Assistants; it's a 'girls night out'. We've been planning it for a few weeks and I'm looking forward to it. We're not doing much, just going for dinner and then to a bar, but it'll give me a chance to talk to Donna, find out how she feels about Josh these days. More to the point, I want to find out if she has any inkling about his realized feelings towards her. I don't think she has, but Donna can be pretty secretive when she wants to be; it's sometimes difficult to know what she's thinking.

Speaking of what people are thinking; how am I going to get Danny to stop 'putting the moves' on me? God, that sounds so dumb, but it's the truth; he's hitting on me, big time! At first, I thought I could handle it. I thought I'd just be myself and use my sense of humor to deflect his advances, but it's not working. Every time he says something to me, it hits home a little bit harder that I want what I can't have, and it's getting more difficult to ignore. I wish he'd just back off a little bit, just enough to let me know that he's still interested, but that he understands the problems and is willing to wait.

Oh, great, it's time for the next press briefing. As much as I hate having to impart bad news and Administration problems to the White House Press Corps, I almost hate the 'light days' more, because they give the Press Corps a chance to wind me up. You think I'm crazy, right? Well, let me tell you what's going to happen in this briefing - I'll get to end and open the floor to questions. I'll get one or two sensible questions and I'll answer them. Then, just as I'm trying to wrap up, Danny will stick his hand in the air. If I ignore him, one of the other reporters will point out that Danny has a question, meaning I'll have to call on him. He'll ask something dumb, something like, "When are you going to get a better couch in your office, CJ? I need something that won't hurt my back when I crash there." Of course, the Press Corps will laugh and will know that it's just Danny being Danny, but it will still tug at my heart; it will still make me think of him lying on my couch, waiting for me to get to my office and waken him.

Well, I guess I can't put this off any longer…time for the press briefing.

**

The End

Still to come, in Part 4 - what thoughts occupy the mind of a White House Communications Director?