TITLE: A Day In The Life of… White House Chief of Staff
DISCLAIMER: *So* not mine ::sigh::
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: Through Season 4, but before the events of 25
FEEDBACK: Sure, send it my way :-)
THANKS: HUGE thanks to Evelyn for all her help and suggestions for this part – who knew Leo was so hard to write? :-)
Part 6/8
**
I sometimes wonder how the Senior Staff manage to drag themselves home every night. Yes, I know that sounds strange; you'd expect me to wonder how they drag themselves into the office every morning, given the amount of work and pressure they have, right? Well, I never doubt that they will turn up for work, I just doubt that they'll go home at the end of the day. The reason for that is that none of them have anything to go home for, or rather they don't have *anyone* to go home to. They are all still young, some younger than others of course, but they don't have the opportunity to *enjoy* being young as they are too involved in work. I know that they all love their jobs and wouldn't swap them for anything, but I do feel guilty about the fact that I roped them all into this in some way. My biggest regret is losing my marriage because of the West Wing – Jenny always told me I was married to my career – and I don't want to see the next generation end up the same way. I brought them here and am therefore responsible for the fact that, when they get to my age, they may be alone… and lonely.
Although I would never admit it to any of them in public, I do care about them deeply and want the best for their futures, once our time in the White House is over. All of them will go on to have long and illustrious careers, if they want them, I am sure of that, but a job isn't everything; there is so much more to life. I have been fortunate enough to have had many happy years with Jenny, during which time we had a daughter, meaning that the happiness continues through her, even if Jenny and I are no longer together.
Toby is soon to experience his own joy at fatherhood and I will ensure that he makes the most of it, even if his attempts to persuade Andrea to re-marry him fail. I think he will quickly realize that he needs to step back from the White House a little and find a suitable balance between his professional and personal lives; although I have a feeling that he already knows this, as he's been trying to give Will more of the burden lately.
Though Toby and Andrea were married, I don't think either of them gave the marriage the chance it deserved; both of them were too absorbed in their work and, since they still are, they will need to be very careful this time around, if she says yes to his proposal. The children will obviously make a big difference, but children grow up and move out, they can't be the cement in the relationship, as I well know; there has to be something more, there has to be give and take.
Will has been thrown in at the deep end since he came to the White House, therefore, he hasn't had much of a chance to meet anyone. He's a nice guy and I'm sure he'll find the right person some day, but I don't want him to have to wait too long. Although he's not been in the White House as long as the rest of us, he has been in politics and has been subjected to the sacrifices that have to be made in your personal life as a result. He still regularly practices law as well, unlike the rest of us, and how he finds the time for it all, I do not know. With Toby easing off, Will is going to be busier than ever, but I don't want him to burn out; he needs to learn when to delegate and how to surround yourself with the best people so that delegation is an option.
I don't know Will that well yet, but he has made an impact already, particularly with Jed. They just seemed to hit it off right away and the potential influence of Will became very evident around the Inauguration, with the foreign aid policy; it's not really difficult to distract Jed, but to have an impact like that is fairly uncommon. I guess I shouldn't be surprised about that though, I mean, he got a dead guy elected and then managed to play to Sam's biggest weakness, his loyalty, to lure him away to California for the good of the people; not many of us could accomplish that.
CJ's real chances of relationships always seem to involve conflicts of interest, posing many problems. I stepped in a few years ago with some words of warning about her potential relationship with Danny and I have felt guilty about that. I had no choice as my duty is to protect the President, but watching CJ working late every night and coming in early every morning, watching her listen to some of her colleagues discussing their latest dates, I have felt that I removed her chance of happiness. I thought I could finally stop feeling guilty last year, when she met Simon Donovan, but that was not to be either, as he was tragically taken away from her, so soon after their conflict of interest had been resolved.
I know Danny is back on the scene now, although no-one has told me anything directly and I know that nothing has actually happened between them; I have eyes and ears though, I see and hear things. Technically, there is still a conflict of interest as Danny is still a White House reporter and CJ is still White House Press Secretary, but I'm not going to step in this time, CJ can handle things. If she wants to start a relationship with Danny, I trust her to come and discuss it with me, to make sure that we can pre-empt any problems. I know she knows that I won't stand in her way this time; I asked Josh to drop a few comments here and there to let her know that it was okay.
I don't think I could stop CJ from seeing Danny if she wants to this time anyway. A few years ago, she had too much to lose and she accepted my words of warning; however, as time has moved on, she has lost loved ones, both physically with Simon's death and emotionally with her father's illness, and she now knows that she wants and needs more.
I used to worry about Josh most of all, through my duties as a friend of his father and also because I am ultimately responsible for him working for the White House, as I persuaded him to leave the Hoynes campaign and join the Bartlet for America campaign all those years ago, resulting in where we all are now. I know that he has no regrets about this, but I do. If he hadn't been so involved in the campaign, perhaps he would have been able to spend more time with his father before he died.
I know that Noah's death was unexpected, but I am still sorry that Josh was kept away from him because of the campaign I recruited him into. Josh would not agree with that and, to be honest, I don't really regret bringing him into this, but I do feel guilty for Josh not being there for Noah and his mother. I know I didn't keep him away; if he'd wanted to go, he would have, but it is still something that I ask myself every so often. If I hadn't persuaded him to join the campaign and come to the White House with us, Josh would not have been shot in the line of duty at Rosslyn and would not be suffering from PTSD for the rest of his life. I feel I should also say that, if Josh wasn't working here, he would probably be married and have children by now but, to be honest, I don't have any regrets about that; if that had happened, he would be married to the wrong woman because he wouldn't have been in the campaign office to meet the right woman, Donna.
As I said, I *used* to worry about Josh most of all but, although I still worry about him, it's not as much as I used to, as I now know that he has realized how important Donna is and he is committed to doing something about it. He is fearful that Donna won't return his feelings, or at least not to the same extent, and he's scared that it will end with them both being hurt, but he's finally realized that he has to give it a chance or it will be the biggest regret for the rest of his life.
Josh has had inner demons since he was a young boy, ever since Joanie, and I am very, very glad that Donna has subconsciously helped him to conquer them. I don't think either of them ever expected the feelings they have for each other to happen, they've crept up on them gradually over the years. Donna has been chipping away at Josh's emotional barriers, getting through them without him really noticing. I don't think she ever *tried* to break down his walls, or not until she realized how much he means to her; it's just her natural ability to get through to people, convince them to see the good in situations, no matter what.
Watching the realizations about Donna dawning on Josh over the festive period was actually entertaining, in a perverse kind of way. The greatest Christmas gift to me last year was knowing that Josh would eventually tell Donna how he felt and that they would be happy. I *know* that Donna will return his feelings, despite Josh's misgivings. I've never discussed this with him, as I have no evidence to back me up, I just have the wisdom and instinct of a man who is paid to read and understand the feelings and needs of people. It may end between them, nothing is guaranteed, but I think they are both at a stage in their lives where they realize that relationships have to be worked at, they don't just keep going without any conscious hard work.
When Josh is actually going to act, I don't know; he's just said it'll be when he feels the time is right. I've warned him not to wait too long, but he assures me he won't and that he has a plan. Of course, I made the highly regretful mistake of telling Margaret that he had a plan – I hasten to add that I was forced into a corner – and now she continually asks when the plan is going into effect. I can't tell her the answer, even if I wanted to, as Josh had decided to keep his cards close to his chest, possibly because he's still pissed at me for telling Margaret in the first place; she freaks him out every time he comes by my office as she keeps looking at him closely, trying to figure out what's going on in his head. I learned a long time ago that it's impossible to understand the workings of Josh Lyman's mind unless he wants you to know; only one person has achieved that feat and it's not his mother, it's Donna.
Even though I don't for sure what Josh is planning, or when he's planning it for, I have an inkling that something might be brewing for this weekend. Josh told me he won't be available on Friday night and, since I hadn't actually asked him to work late, there was no need for him to tell me that; I think it was his way of telling me without telling me, so that he could get it off his chest but not actually spell it out.
Whatever Josh has planned, I hope it works out for him and for Donna. Donna Moss is a remarkable young woman who continues to amaze me, not just because she's able to put up with Josh nearly 24/7, but because she has such a thirst for learning and a true dedication to her country, her family and her friends. No matter what a person has done, Donna aims to see the best in them, give them a second chance; that is a remarkable gift.
Although I want everyone to be in happy relationships, my loyalty is obviously to the President. We still have a few years before we leave the White House and we also need to ensure that the next President through the door is also a Democrat; therefore, I still need to watch over everyone carefully, dropping advice here and there without them realizing that I'm advising them. I do this with the President as well, but he knows; he's far too wily for me to pull the wool over his eyes.
Thinking things through, I think Josh and Donna will be the role models for everyone else; they will have the toughest time trying to balance professional and personal lives since they work together so closely. If Josh and Donna succeed, and I know they will, I can point to them when I surreptitiously advise the others. Of course, Josh will no doubt pick up on this and tell me to take my own advice, since he always wants to couple everyone else up when he is happy, but I'm ready for that; I'm ready to move on myself.
**
The End
Next up… well, I think it's time for Josh to have his say, don't you? :-) Oh, I should also add that you won't to have to wait nearly as long for the Josh POV as you did for this one – it's half-written already.