Teacher Training
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Say there's someone really depressed.. What would push him over the edge? You know, send him running for the razors... anything come to mind".
*** Thanks to all my good 'ol reviewers woooooo! Just a warning, this chapter has more Monty Python and the Holy Grail refrences than you can shake a stick at. Tee hee. That rabbit's dyanamite!
***
Chapter 14 - Forge and Amber's Day Of Fun!
***
The next day had arrived all to quickly, and despite Forge's best efforts of hiding, he had been dragged away by Amber for their fun. The others, meanwhile, had a terrible situation on their hands. They had gathered together, minus Angel and Forge, and had decided that Cookie had to go. She had already eaten the keys to the X-Van and Hank was walking with a limp.
"So, here's what we do", said Magneto, "we'll rush him. Hank, Sabertooth and Logan can hold him down while the rest of us grab Cookie and take her to the nearest zoo".
"Have you got in touch with a zoo to ask if they can take her?", asked Xavier.
"Well....no", said Magneto, "i was hoping we could just...you know...hide her in one of our pockets and just...slip her into the aligator exhibit when no-ones looking".
"Works for me!", said Mystique happily.
"What works for you?".
Everyone looked up to see Angel walk in, Cookie in his arms, growling and trying to take a chunk out of his chin.
~ Let's try to reason with him first ~ sent Xavier into everyone's heads.
"Angel", said Hank with a small smile, "we want to talk to you about Cookie...".
"Isn't she the cutest?", said Warren, patting her on the head, Cookie responding by trying to take his index finger off.
"Adorable", they all said in unsion, but not putting very much effort into it.
"Listen Warren", said Xavier, taking a deep breath, "i think it's time we took her to a zoo".
Warren gave Xavier a look which suggested he had told him he had to get his wings clipped. He held the aligator close to him, Cookie making growling sound at this and chewing on his jacket.
"You CAN'T take her, you can't!!!!", he shouted.
The others looked at each other, each giving the silent nod to what had to be done next. Sabertooth leapt from where he had been hiding behind the door, grabbing onto Warren's back. Warren started to shout, flicking his wings around and twirling in circles in an atempt to get him off.
"Warren, this is fer yer own good", said Sabertooth, holding on for dear life, "you can't keep a pet aligator, you have to let go, you...are suprisingly strong!".
Angel suddenly opened his wings up, full span, not only knocking Sabertooth off him, but causing many of the rooms occupants to duck as well. He proceeded to run to the open window, jump out of it and fly off with Cookie.
"I knew we should have done it my way", said Storm, "an illusion, followed by a lightening bolt...we'd have that aligator right now".
"Shut up Ororo", said Logan.
*****
Meanwhile, in another part of town, Forge was still on his 'Day Of Fun' with Amber...the problem? He wasn't having fun. He'd had more fun in Middleverse....and that thought was very, very depressing. Amber had been chirping on to herself for a few hours now. She had dragged him to a boat- race, and a fun-fair, and a magic show. He had turned off to her rambling hours ago, only half-listening, putting in a few 'yeah's' and 'groovy's' now and again to make it SEEM like he was listening. But she then said something that made him stop dead.
"You've had this silly little phobia longer than i have known you", said Amber, "i think it's time we dealt with it".
Phobia.....no, oh no!.
"Nuh huh", said Forge, shaking his head, "me and my phobia are fine. We don't need dealing with!".
"You know the BEST way to get rid of a phobia?", asked Amber.
"Hide away from it for all eternity?", asked Forge, "if you see it, run away. Never keep your guard down?"
"No, silly", said Amber, giving him a punch in the arm, making Forge wince, "you FACE THEM!".
Forge paled.
"I don't wanna face them!", he said, "this is supposed to be a day of fun, i'm not having fun!!!!!".
"Now lets start small", said Amber, reaching into her bag and rumaging around, "there's something in here, just for you".
"Please say it's a gun, please say it's a gun", said Forge, closing his eyes.
"Hehehehehhehehehehheh", said Amber, pulling out a sock.
But this was no ordinary sock. This was a sock with two other socks attached to it, along with shoe-lace whiskers, two buttons for eyes and a button nose. This was a sock rabbit! Quite frankly, Forge felt betrayed.....not to mention sheer terror.
"Amber.....", he said, backing away slightly.
"Awwww don't be such a wuss", said Amber, putting the sock bunny on her hand and moving it around, "it's just a cute little sock bunny".
"Yeah, see the sock isn't the problem, it's the bunny bit thats a problem", said Forge, really wishing he was somewhere else right now.
"But it's sweet and it luvs you", said Amber, putting her hand forward and brushing Forge's nose as if the bunny had sniffed him.
Forge - Freaked - Out. He gave a squeak of sheer terror, falling down and backpeadling away as fast as he could.
"Nonononononononononononononono", he said, his eyes wide.
"Okay.....that didn't work", said Amber, watching him as he attempted to scramble away, "okay Forge, i'm putting the bunny away".
Forge calmed a little.
"Never, EVER pull that out on me again, you evil, evil woman!", he said.
"Mmmmmm, maybe we need a different approach", said Amber, "maybe you need to dive head first instead!".
"No, there will be no diving!", said Forge, "none!".
But, as usual, Amber ignored him, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him away.
*****
"Have you found him?".
Mystique shook her head.
"No, he's nowhere to be found".
"Oh COME ON!", said Magneto, "How hard is it to miss a guy with a SIXTEEN FOOT WINGSPAN!!!!".
"Carrying a baby aligator, no less", put in Hank.
"You'd be suprised", said Jason dryly, "i created the illusion of a guy walking around with a rubber chicken on his head...no one batted an eyelid".
Mystique blinked.
"Jason...why did you..?", she paused, "no, never mind, i don't want to know".
It was then a tired Sabertooth and Logan came in.
"We can't find him anywhere", said Logan.
"He'll come back when he's hungry", said Sabertooth with a nod, "they always do".
"Do you honestly think having a winged millionaire and his pet aligator is a good thing to let roam the streets?", asked Xavier, no one replied, so he did for them, "no, you silly, silly monkey people, NO!".
Everyone stared at him.
"I'm....sorry", said Xavier, "i...i don't know where that came from.....i think i'll go...lie down".
Without another word, he wheeled out of the room.
*****
Forge meanwhile had found himself in a place he REALLY didn't want to be. A petting zoo. Amber was happily picking up a white fluffy bunny....Forge couldn't even look at the thing and was keeping a good three feet of space between him and the rabbit.
"Are you SURE this'll work?", he asked, hoping she would have some mercy.
"Sure it will!", said Amber, "it'll have you cured in no time......or it'll degenerate you into a cowering mess that not even the best psychiatrist could cure".
"What?".
"Nothing", she said, then held out the rabbit, "say hello to Harvey".
Forge looked at the rabbit. The rabbit looked at Forge,
"Someone get me a holy hand-grenade!!!", said Forge, closing his eyes.
He reached his hand out to touch 'Harvey'. Harvey sniffed at his hand for a second, before biting Forge on the thumb. Unfortunately, Forge had used his left hand, his eyes shot open, seeing a rabbit hanging by the teeth on his hand. His ONLY hand. Forge did the only logical thing he could thing of at the time. Forge panicked
"AIIIIEEEEEE", he said, flinging his hand around, Harvey still attached, jutting around like a fuzzy white ragdoll.....with ears, "Vóhkóóhe! Vóhkóóhe!!!!".
Amber watched as Forge ran around the room, frailing his arm about, yelling something in Cheyenne. It was always a bad sign when Forge forgot to use English. She watched him run around a bit....and then watched him run headlong into a wall. He blinked back, a little dazed, then fell to the floor with a thud. It was then that Harvey decided to let go, hopping over Forge's head and back into it's hutch. Harvey's snowy white-fur covered in blood very much in a killer-rabbit-esque style. Amber blinked a few times, then gave Forge's unconcious form a prod.
"I think we need an ambulance", she said.
******
A few hours later, Forge awoke on his make-shift bed in his hotel room, to see Mystique looming over him.
"Aghhh!", he said, jutting fully awake, then looking at his bandaged hand, "oh man, i thought it was just a nightmare....heavy".
"Yeah yeah, woe is you", said Mystqiue irritably, "have you seen Warren around?".
Forge looked at her flatly.
"Sorry, i was too busy being mauled and loosing blood to notice a winged man anywhere".
"You were bitten by a rabbit!!", snapped Mystique, "there's barely a little cut. You've only got a concussion because you ran into a wall, you idiot!".
Forge blinked, what had he done to her?!!!!.
"So...where is everyone else?", he tried, not wanting to irritae the already VERY angry shapeshifter.
"Looking for Warren!", said Mystique, "we tried to take Cookie from him and he flipped out. I was looking for him until your stupid bimbo girlfriend showed up dragging your unconcious ass around, so i had to look after you!".
"She's not my girlfriend", said Forge, tilting his head in confusion, "what's with the head-trip, Raven?".
"I am NOT on a 'head-trip'", snapped Mystqiue, "now get up and make some sort of Warren-catching...thing to nab him if he comes back!".
Forge blinked, but did as he was told, right now, Mystique did NOT seem to be the person to agrue with.
****
Wow, more insanity. Where did Warren go? Find out next time!. Incidentally Vóhkóóhe is Cheyenne for Rabbit. Please, do review. Until next time....
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Say there's someone really depressed.. What would push him over the edge? You know, send him running for the razors... anything come to mind".
*** Thanks to all my good 'ol reviewers woooooo! Just a warning, this chapter has more Monty Python and the Holy Grail refrences than you can shake a stick at. Tee hee. That rabbit's dyanamite!
***
Chapter 14 - Forge and Amber's Day Of Fun!
***
The next day had arrived all to quickly, and despite Forge's best efforts of hiding, he had been dragged away by Amber for their fun. The others, meanwhile, had a terrible situation on their hands. They had gathered together, minus Angel and Forge, and had decided that Cookie had to go. She had already eaten the keys to the X-Van and Hank was walking with a limp.
"So, here's what we do", said Magneto, "we'll rush him. Hank, Sabertooth and Logan can hold him down while the rest of us grab Cookie and take her to the nearest zoo".
"Have you got in touch with a zoo to ask if they can take her?", asked Xavier.
"Well....no", said Magneto, "i was hoping we could just...you know...hide her in one of our pockets and just...slip her into the aligator exhibit when no-ones looking".
"Works for me!", said Mystique happily.
"What works for you?".
Everyone looked up to see Angel walk in, Cookie in his arms, growling and trying to take a chunk out of his chin.
~ Let's try to reason with him first ~ sent Xavier into everyone's heads.
"Angel", said Hank with a small smile, "we want to talk to you about Cookie...".
"Isn't she the cutest?", said Warren, patting her on the head, Cookie responding by trying to take his index finger off.
"Adorable", they all said in unsion, but not putting very much effort into it.
"Listen Warren", said Xavier, taking a deep breath, "i think it's time we took her to a zoo".
Warren gave Xavier a look which suggested he had told him he had to get his wings clipped. He held the aligator close to him, Cookie making growling sound at this and chewing on his jacket.
"You CAN'T take her, you can't!!!!", he shouted.
The others looked at each other, each giving the silent nod to what had to be done next. Sabertooth leapt from where he had been hiding behind the door, grabbing onto Warren's back. Warren started to shout, flicking his wings around and twirling in circles in an atempt to get him off.
"Warren, this is fer yer own good", said Sabertooth, holding on for dear life, "you can't keep a pet aligator, you have to let go, you...are suprisingly strong!".
Angel suddenly opened his wings up, full span, not only knocking Sabertooth off him, but causing many of the rooms occupants to duck as well. He proceeded to run to the open window, jump out of it and fly off with Cookie.
"I knew we should have done it my way", said Storm, "an illusion, followed by a lightening bolt...we'd have that aligator right now".
"Shut up Ororo", said Logan.
*****
Meanwhile, in another part of town, Forge was still on his 'Day Of Fun' with Amber...the problem? He wasn't having fun. He'd had more fun in Middleverse....and that thought was very, very depressing. Amber had been chirping on to herself for a few hours now. She had dragged him to a boat- race, and a fun-fair, and a magic show. He had turned off to her rambling hours ago, only half-listening, putting in a few 'yeah's' and 'groovy's' now and again to make it SEEM like he was listening. But she then said something that made him stop dead.
"You've had this silly little phobia longer than i have known you", said Amber, "i think it's time we dealt with it".
Phobia.....no, oh no!.
"Nuh huh", said Forge, shaking his head, "me and my phobia are fine. We don't need dealing with!".
"You know the BEST way to get rid of a phobia?", asked Amber.
"Hide away from it for all eternity?", asked Forge, "if you see it, run away. Never keep your guard down?"
"No, silly", said Amber, giving him a punch in the arm, making Forge wince, "you FACE THEM!".
Forge paled.
"I don't wanna face them!", he said, "this is supposed to be a day of fun, i'm not having fun!!!!!".
"Now lets start small", said Amber, reaching into her bag and rumaging around, "there's something in here, just for you".
"Please say it's a gun, please say it's a gun", said Forge, closing his eyes.
"Hehehehehhehehehehheh", said Amber, pulling out a sock.
But this was no ordinary sock. This was a sock with two other socks attached to it, along with shoe-lace whiskers, two buttons for eyes and a button nose. This was a sock rabbit! Quite frankly, Forge felt betrayed.....not to mention sheer terror.
"Amber.....", he said, backing away slightly.
"Awwww don't be such a wuss", said Amber, putting the sock bunny on her hand and moving it around, "it's just a cute little sock bunny".
"Yeah, see the sock isn't the problem, it's the bunny bit thats a problem", said Forge, really wishing he was somewhere else right now.
"But it's sweet and it luvs you", said Amber, putting her hand forward and brushing Forge's nose as if the bunny had sniffed him.
Forge - Freaked - Out. He gave a squeak of sheer terror, falling down and backpeadling away as fast as he could.
"Nonononononononononononononono", he said, his eyes wide.
"Okay.....that didn't work", said Amber, watching him as he attempted to scramble away, "okay Forge, i'm putting the bunny away".
Forge calmed a little.
"Never, EVER pull that out on me again, you evil, evil woman!", he said.
"Mmmmmm, maybe we need a different approach", said Amber, "maybe you need to dive head first instead!".
"No, there will be no diving!", said Forge, "none!".
But, as usual, Amber ignored him, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him away.
*****
"Have you found him?".
Mystique shook her head.
"No, he's nowhere to be found".
"Oh COME ON!", said Magneto, "How hard is it to miss a guy with a SIXTEEN FOOT WINGSPAN!!!!".
"Carrying a baby aligator, no less", put in Hank.
"You'd be suprised", said Jason dryly, "i created the illusion of a guy walking around with a rubber chicken on his head...no one batted an eyelid".
Mystique blinked.
"Jason...why did you..?", she paused, "no, never mind, i don't want to know".
It was then a tired Sabertooth and Logan came in.
"We can't find him anywhere", said Logan.
"He'll come back when he's hungry", said Sabertooth with a nod, "they always do".
"Do you honestly think having a winged millionaire and his pet aligator is a good thing to let roam the streets?", asked Xavier, no one replied, so he did for them, "no, you silly, silly monkey people, NO!".
Everyone stared at him.
"I'm....sorry", said Xavier, "i...i don't know where that came from.....i think i'll go...lie down".
Without another word, he wheeled out of the room.
*****
Forge meanwhile had found himself in a place he REALLY didn't want to be. A petting zoo. Amber was happily picking up a white fluffy bunny....Forge couldn't even look at the thing and was keeping a good three feet of space between him and the rabbit.
"Are you SURE this'll work?", he asked, hoping she would have some mercy.
"Sure it will!", said Amber, "it'll have you cured in no time......or it'll degenerate you into a cowering mess that not even the best psychiatrist could cure".
"What?".
"Nothing", she said, then held out the rabbit, "say hello to Harvey".
Forge looked at the rabbit. The rabbit looked at Forge,
"Someone get me a holy hand-grenade!!!", said Forge, closing his eyes.
He reached his hand out to touch 'Harvey'. Harvey sniffed at his hand for a second, before biting Forge on the thumb. Unfortunately, Forge had used his left hand, his eyes shot open, seeing a rabbit hanging by the teeth on his hand. His ONLY hand. Forge did the only logical thing he could thing of at the time. Forge panicked
"AIIIIEEEEEE", he said, flinging his hand around, Harvey still attached, jutting around like a fuzzy white ragdoll.....with ears, "Vóhkóóhe! Vóhkóóhe!!!!".
Amber watched as Forge ran around the room, frailing his arm about, yelling something in Cheyenne. It was always a bad sign when Forge forgot to use English. She watched him run around a bit....and then watched him run headlong into a wall. He blinked back, a little dazed, then fell to the floor with a thud. It was then that Harvey decided to let go, hopping over Forge's head and back into it's hutch. Harvey's snowy white-fur covered in blood very much in a killer-rabbit-esque style. Amber blinked a few times, then gave Forge's unconcious form a prod.
"I think we need an ambulance", she said.
******
A few hours later, Forge awoke on his make-shift bed in his hotel room, to see Mystique looming over him.
"Aghhh!", he said, jutting fully awake, then looking at his bandaged hand, "oh man, i thought it was just a nightmare....heavy".
"Yeah yeah, woe is you", said Mystqiue irritably, "have you seen Warren around?".
Forge looked at her flatly.
"Sorry, i was too busy being mauled and loosing blood to notice a winged man anywhere".
"You were bitten by a rabbit!!", snapped Mystique, "there's barely a little cut. You've only got a concussion because you ran into a wall, you idiot!".
Forge blinked, what had he done to her?!!!!.
"So...where is everyone else?", he tried, not wanting to irritae the already VERY angry shapeshifter.
"Looking for Warren!", said Mystique, "we tried to take Cookie from him and he flipped out. I was looking for him until your stupid bimbo girlfriend showed up dragging your unconcious ass around, so i had to look after you!".
"She's not my girlfriend", said Forge, tilting his head in confusion, "what's with the head-trip, Raven?".
"I am NOT on a 'head-trip'", snapped Mystqiue, "now get up and make some sort of Warren-catching...thing to nab him if he comes back!".
Forge blinked, but did as he was told, right now, Mystique did NOT seem to be the person to agrue with.
****
Wow, more insanity. Where did Warren go? Find out next time!. Incidentally Vóhkóóhe is Cheyenne for Rabbit. Please, do review. Until next time....