Shimai no Keikaku Chapter Two: Of Libraries and Potions
AN: Just a brief note on Syaoran's sisters here: In this story, the order from oldest to youngest is as follows: She Fa, Fah Ren, Fuu Tie and Fei Mei.
Also, many, many hugs and muffins go to Miss Qui Chen for giving me the kick in the pants I needed to get this chapter done; your review made me want to start writing this story again. This girl kicks some major author ass, and her stories (Especially 'And There Was More Then One Happily Ever After—it sent me into hysterical giggles more then once, and I promise I'll review it soon! Really.) are just FAB. Go! Read! Now!
Dedication: To Sunny.. I'll miss you, my dogawog.
Disclaimer: CCS doesn't belong to me. End of story.
***
The private library of Yelan Li was world-renowned for it's extensive collection of books; there was a wide selection on a variation of magical subjects, and many sorcerers and sorceresses would have gladly give an arm for just an hour in the room. Unfortunately, the library was accessible only to those chosen by Yelan, and winning her favor was not an easy thing to do by any means; and trying to get in without her permission was dangerous, if not suicidal. The magical protections alone were immensely difficult to get through, and if you managed that there was always the numerous martial art trained members of the Li clan protecting the doors into the library. Needless to say, one had to be extremely reckless, insane and cunning to get into the room without Yelan's consent.
"You do realize that Mumma is going to kill us when she finds out that we're sneaking around in her library, right?"
"No she won't, because Mumma isn't going to find out."
"If we get caught, I'm going to kill you all. If this wasn't for Xiao-"
"You wouldn't be caught dead in here. We know, dearie. You've only be saying that every five minutes or so."
The four girls had snuck into their Mother's private library, for they had discovered that morning when one wants to brew a potion to knock out one's little brother out one must have a set of instructions for the making of the potion, unless one wants to accidentally blow aforementioned brother to bits. Since that would defeat the entire purpose of their entire plan, Xiao's sisters had decided perhaps it would be best to find a book to help them out; the only problem was that the kind of potion they wanted to make was not in any of the books accessible to them in the normal, guard and magical protection free library, and there was no way their Mother would give them permission to go into her private library, considering their rather…infamous reputation for book abuse. So, after a minimal amount of planning they had broken into the room through one of the less protected entrances and were now wandering around it randomly trying to find what they were looking for.
"I think this is it! It looks exactly like the book old Zhi used for my potions lessons."
"You sure?"
"Being a Book for the Use of the Making of Concoctions and Other Things of That Nature."
"Well, it sounds like a potions book…"
"Yeah, that's it. I don't think I could ever forget that title."
Gathering around the bookshelf in a way that would seem as inconspicuous as possible and utterly failing, the siblings stared at the violently orange book in mild fascination.
A minute passed.
So did another.
"Sooooooo…are we actually gonna do anything with this book? Like, pick it up or something?"
"You pick it up!"
"I don't wanna…who knows what kind of protection spell Mumma put on it?"
"Well, if we don't pick it up we're never gonna get anything done."
More staring proceeded to commence, shortly followed by shifty looks in each other's directions.
"All right. We need to do something."
"But-"
"Grow a spine. Somebody just pick the thing up already."
"Yeah."
Suddenly, four separate hands shot out and closed around the spine of the book tightly; the sisters glanced at one another and giggled nervously. After several minutes of glancing and giggling no one appeared to have any intention of letting go, so the girls traded one last sideways look and pulled the tome out of the shelf it had been residing on.
When nothing proceeded to blow up, burst into flames, or turn into a giant bowl of pasta, they relaxed somewhat and returned to staring at the book once again.
"So. Um… what do we do now?"
"We need to look in the index and find the instructions for the potion."
"Give it to me; I'm the oldest, and therefore the smartest. I should be able to find it faster then the rest of you."
"Shut up."
Sulkily, the three youngest handed it to She Fa, who took it with a rather smug air hovering around her, much to her sibling's annoyance. Making a flourish with her hand as she laid it on top of the cover, she opened it up to the index.
The book began to sing. Loudly.
"Wheeen yoouu wish upoooooon a staaaaAAAAR-" the book warbled deafeningly, making She Fa drop it in surprise. "Maakes noo diffeeence whooo you AAAAAAREEEEEEEEE-"
"What the hell?" She Fa said. Then: "Ooooooooooooh crap." For one of the many guards of the library had just rounded the corner looking not in the least bit happy. Suddenly realizing they were in Deep Shit, the four sisters blinked at him stupidly and the abruptly began to panic.
***
Li Sheng had been having an exceptionally boring day.
Not that this was a bad thing; when one guarded a library full of books which contained information that could, if put in the right hands, destroy the entire world boring was usually considered a blessing. It was much more preferable to, say, giant rampaging trolls or a dozen sorcerers trying to sneak their way in through the air ducts. (Luckily, Sheng had not been on watch when the latter had happened, although he did feel rather sorry for An and Lieng who had been on duty and were now recuperating in the Li medical wing.)
However, Sheng reflected, life in the Li household was rarely boring at all; even though he was only related to Yelan Li by the merest of ties—he was the third cousin of a fifth cousin twice removed—he still was part of the family, and therefore expected to contribute to the family as well…meaning he was usually involved in most of the rather…interesting activities of the Li clan.
Such as patrolling a library that had no less then twenty-two hundred thousand books, fourteen thousand chairs and a Chimera residing in the girl's bathroom. Yelan had assured him that the Chimera (who she referred to as Dewei) was perfectly harmless and remarkably intelligent and that he wouldn't have to worry about getting eaten or some such nonsense thereof; but Sheng was still slightly wary of the beast and still preferred to avoid the area around the girl's bathroom all together, if possible. Fortunately, on this particular day, Lok had been willing to switch patrols with Sheng so he would be walking around in the opposite half of the library then the girl's bathroom.
This is why he found the four eldest children of Yelan wandering around in the Black Magic section.
Needless to say, Sheng was considerably surprised. In all the years he had worked at the Li estate he had never heard of anyone successfully making it through the numerous traps into the library itself; and from what he could tell, it looked like the girls didn't have a scratch on them. This was simply unacceptable. He would not allow these four impudent teenagers to get away with such a thing, even if they were the daughters of Yelan Li. No one was allowed in the library without permission.
No one.
Unfortunately, before he could get within forty feet of the girls, they noticed him.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!" they yelled simultaneously, causing several windows and various glass objects to break and Sheng to develop a headache.
"Hold it right there!" He yelled angrily. Now those children were really going to get it…
***
She Fa managed to form the cohesive thought of that they were utterly dead before beginning to shriek loudly in alarm, which her sisters cheerfully contributed to by screaming as loud as they possibly could at the exact same time. Everyone who was employed at the Li estate knew the four eldest offspring of Yelan, whether it was simply because they saw them regularly or because they had been warned to never, ever, let them anywhere near where they were working; and everyone also knew that unless they were given direct orders from the girl's mother, they were not, under any circumstances allowed into any of her private rooms.
"Hold it right there!" The guard commanded. Naturally, the quartet had no intentions of doing anything of the sort and immediately made this clear by running in the opposite direction, with the book in hand. Coming to the end of the aisle, they turned the corner and began to weave in and out of the passages as they frantically tried to find their way to the exit while the guard ran along behind them, looking forbidding.
"COME BACK HERE!" He roared; She Fa belatedly recognized him…Feng? Sheng? "ACCEPT YOUR PUNISHMENT! YOU FOUR HAVE BROKEN INTO THE PRIVATE LIBRARY OF YELAN LI!" Sheng it was, then. He had always been a bit of a pompous idiot…
"Well, no shit, Sherlock!" Fah Ren called back over her shoulder. Sheng responded nicely by beginning to throw fire spells at the escaping four.
"Blaaaaaaaaah blah blahedly BLAH blahblahblahblaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" The book commented helpfully.
"Will you knock it off?" Fuu Tie yelled. "Haven't you caused enough trouble?" The book's only response was to cheerfully increase its volume, causing its carrier to trip over her high heels. The remaining three stopped instantly, rushing back to help their sister as Sheng smirked in victory, preparing another fire spell in his hands.
"火烧…" He began only to be cut off abruptly by Fuu Tie's right shoe connecting solidly with the middle of his face, shortly followed by her left landing firmly in his forehead. [AN: Poe is special because she uses Chinese symbols! Well…no. She isn't. But that's not the point.]
"Come on! Let's go! That's not gonna keep him down for long…" They set off again, this time with a shoeless Fuu Tie running along behind. Ducking down an aisle, the siblings tried to get as far away from their pursuer as possible.
"You people owe me a new pair of shoes." Fuu Tie muttered, clutching the book, which still felt the need to make as much noise as possible.
"I'MMMMMMMMMMM A CUCUMBER, I'MMMMMMMMMMM A CUCUMBER. I'MMMMMMMMMMMM A CUCUMBER, SO PLEASE DON'T TAKE ME TO THE PIIIIIICKLE FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRMMMMM!!" It observed.
"That's IT!" She Fa snarled, grabbing the book from her sister and flipping pages as she ran. Finding what she was looking for, she ripped out the page, causing the book to shriek loudly in indignation and then start swearing colorfully at her in various languages. Ignoring it stoically, She Fa turned down an aisle on her left and stopped, pressing herself up against the shelf as her sisters hid behind a rather large statue of a cat in the middle of the hallway.
"What are you doing?" Fah Ren demanded, earning a shushing noise from her sibling. The book continued to grumble loudly about how the youth of today had no respect for good pieces of literature, and really now, was it truly necessary to destroy valuable information like that so carelessly? It quieted suddenly seeing as She Fa had started to perform a spell on it, but quickly began to protest against this new development because, as it so helpfully pointed out, it was already a magical object and therefore did not need any more supernatural enhancement.
Fei Mei giggled at the naughty innuendo, which only caused the book to become more offended and begin to chastise her about the joke in an affronted tone. When she did not appear to be listening, it began to yell at her about the corrupted state of her mind and how it hoped a dragon would come and eat her.
Fortunately, she was spared any more lectures for Sheng rounded had the corner and She Fa had thrown the book at his head, stalling any attempts the book would have made and also having the side effect of knocking the poor guard out cold.
"Cool!" Fah Ren exclaimed. "What did you do to—"
"I made it heavier." She Fa informed her hurriedly. "Now come on, let's go! I don't want another guard to find us."
"You have the instructions, right?" Fei Mei asked, poking at Sheng experimentally.
"Right here! Now let's go, okay?" She snapped, jerking her away from the unconscious guard and in the direction of the nearest exit. "When we get outta here, Fuu Tie, I want you to go find Mei Ling, alright? Tell her we need her help."
"Okay!" Fuu Tie agreed cheerfully as she joined her siblings in walking out of the library, feeling chipper now that the danger of being of caught had passed. In fact, all of the girls were so relieved about their narrow escape that they forgot about everything else besides getting out unnoticed.
And thus, the sisters of Syaoran Li made the biggest mistake of their lives, although they didn't realize how much trouble that one oversight would cause; regrettably, they would also fail to realize it for several days, and by that time it was really too late to do anything about it.
***
"Now, if you take the square root of it and-"
"Mr. Terada?" Tomoyo's voice rang out suddenly in the quiet of the classroom, jerking me rudely from a rather nice daydream I had been having about Syaoran. Blinking in surprise, I swiveled around in my seat to look at her; Tomoyo never interrupted the teacher when he was speaking.
"Yes, Miss Daidouji?" Mr. Terada asked hand paused in midair in front of the chalkboard.
"May I be excused? I don't feel very well." Well. That certainly made me gawp; I had never in the whole time I had been friends with Tomoyo Daidouji heard her ask to be excused from class because she had to pee, much less because she didn't feel well. I was the one who was always fainting in class and getting ill in the middle of the day; I don't think Tomoyo had ever been sick a day in her life.
"Ah...yes. Of course." Mr. Terada looked slightly surprised too, but he didn't comment and Tomoyo stood up and pushed her chair in. Slightly worried, I caught her eye and mouthed silently 'Are you alright?' she gave a little nod of her head, barely noticeable and winked as she started to walk out of the classroom. Feeling relieved, I went back to staring out the window while pretending to listen to whatever Mr. Terada was talking about.
Fifteen minutes later Tomoyo walked back in, much to the astonishment of everyone in the class. "The nurse gave me some Tylenol and I started to feel much better," she explained to Mr. Terada, "So I decided to come back. I didn't want to miss anything important." [AN: I have absolutely no idea if they have Tylenol in Japan, but it's the only type of painkiller I can think of at the moment… _;;]
"If you think you feel well enough to come back, then please have a seat." Said Mr. Terada, clearly taken aback; any student with half a brain would have stayed in the nurse's office all afternoon so they could skip class. I waited impatiently until he had turned his back on the classroom again and then leaned across the gap between our seats and whispered "Tomoyo, what's going on? Are you alright?"
Tomoyo smiled a smile I hadn't seen in years; the 'I-know-something-that-you-don't-ha-HA' smile. Quite frankly, it gave me the heebie jeebies.
"I'm fine!" She chirruped. Suddenly filled with a sense of impending doom, I straightened in my seat and groaned softly.
What I wouldn't give to go home…
***
Mei Ling was quite certain she had gone insane. Not only had she agreed to help Xiao's sisters, she was now trying to drag Tomoyo Daidouji into the mess as well.
"So, basically, you want me to participate in a highly illegal operation so that Syaoran will stop sulking around your house." The Japanese girl stated in a no-nonsense voice, making Mei Ling wince. The whole thing had never really sounded all that great, and Tomoyo's straightforward summary didn't really help the cause.
"Um. More or less, that's the general idea." She replied, resisting the slam the receiver into her forehead multiple times, and instead settled for looping the phone chord around her finger nervously. Tomoyo was a key element in their plan, and if she refused to help the whole thing would go down the drain.
"Will I get to videotape?" She finally asked.
"Yes." MeiLing agreed. "But Syaoran's sisters want copies—" she was drowned out b a sudden shriek of pure joy radiating from the opposite of the receiver, followed shortly by a babble of plans for camera angles and costumes that made Mei Ling's head spin.
"So does this mean you'll help?" Mei Ling interjected cautiously.
"Of course!" Tomoyo responded. "I could never pass up a chance like this! I'll see you later, Mei Ling."
"Yeah. Bye." Mei Ling hung up the phone with a sigh of relief. The rest of the plan would be simple. Easy as pie.
…
Yeah, right. Who am I kidding? Mei Ling thought miserably, groaning out loud. I have the riskiest part of the whole thing—getting Xiao on and off the plan intact, and making sure no one sees me do it.
"MeiLing?" Fuu Tie stuck her head into the dark haired girl's room. "You wanna come here and help us out for a minute?"
"Um…. sure. What're you doing?"
"We need some help with the sleeping potion for Xiao." Fuu Tie explained, heading out of Mei Ling's room and down the hallway to the kitchen.
"Oh. Okay." she asked, jogging a bit to keep up with the older girl's long strides. A comfortable silence stretched between the two girls as they walked down the hallway reached the kitchen doors, when Mei Ling came to a sudden halt. "Fuu Tie?" she asked, looking up at the older girl.
"Hm?"
"Do you really think this is going to work?"
Fuu Tie looked startled. "Yeah. Why?
"I dunno…it's just that this whole thing just kinda happened all of a sudden. I just think we're going to mess up and Xiao is going to end up hating us." She replied, feeling extraordinarily stupid.
"Mei Ling, you worry too much. Don't worry about it! With your capable cousins on the job, there's no way our plan can fail!" Fuu Tie stated, giving her the thumbs up. Mei Ling didn't reply, but she sighed as she pushed the door to the kitchen open.
"I'm here." She announced. "What do you want me to do?" Her other three cousins sat in a semi circle around the stove, adding things to a boiling pot of what looked like green jello. [AN: My computer doesn't think jello is a word. Silly computer.]
"We need you to make a chocolate milkshake." Fei Mei spoke up, adding something to the pot, which began to emit blue and purple sparks.
"What?! You can make your own friggin' milkshakes!"
She Fa gave Mei Ling a look that practically dripped with Duh. "Do you really think Xiao Lang is going to drink this if we hand it to him?" she asked pointedly.
Mei Ling blinked. "Well…no…"
"That's why we need the milkshake. We can dump it in there, and Xiao Lang will never suspect a thing. We always give him a chocolate shake to apologize whenever we do something that gets him pissed off at us. It'll seem perfectly ordinary." Fah Ren explained, flashing a grin at her cousin.
"Alrighty then. As long as I'm not making it for you people. "MeiLing amended, wandering over the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of ice cream, and a jug of milk. Peering into the fridge, Mei Ling swung the door shut. "We're out of chocolate syrup." She announced.
She Fa shrugged indifferently. "No problem." All four girls snapped their fingers and fiver very large bottles of Hershey's Chocolate Syrup fell out of midair with a faint crackling noise, and landed neatly on the counter.
"Five bottles? Don't you think that's a little extreme?" Mei Ling asked incredulously, raising an eyebrow.
"Not really. You're gonna need it to cover up the taste; this potion has a pretty distinct flavor."
"Remind me why I'm doing this again. Just for laughs."
"Because we need someone to keep Xiao Lang in Japan." She Fa said patronizingly.
"Yeah, but why me?" the black haired girl wailed.
"Because you won't lock us up somewhere for trying to drug our brother and smuggle him onto an plane." Fei Mei grinned. "Besides, he won't set you on fire."
"Goody. Forgive me if I don't jump and down with glee." She responded acridly.
"C'mon Mei Ling! It's not really breaking the law…just bending it a little." Fah Ren said cheerfully.
Mei Ling threw her hands up in despair. "You people are nuts. Wacko. INSANE. You should be in straight jackets in a padded room with nice young men in white coats watching over you."
"And yet, in spite of all this, you're helping us anyway." Fuu Tie pointed out calmly.
Mei Ling glared. "I hate it when you do that."
"Do what?"
"Nothing..." The worst part about her cousins, Mei Ling reflected, was that they could make anything, even sneaking up on Xiao and setting his underwear on fire, (which they had actually done, and had mad Xiao made enough to flood their rooms), sound completely sensible. More then that even—logical, reasonable and practical. And after whatever they were planning had gone crashing down in flames, they would simply think of something new that was just as insane and attempt to pull it off.
"Okay..." Fei Mei said suspiciously, adding something else to the potion. "There. It's done."
"Really?" Fah Ren asked excitedly, peering into the bubbling pot.
"Really, really." Fei Mei confirmed, wiping her hands off on a towel and setting the pot on the counter to cool.
"Good." Mei Ling commented, pouring the milk into the blender, and then pushing a button. "Took you long enough." The machine began to whir, mixing the contents together as She Fa removed the pot from the stove and poured the bright green liquid into a measuring cup. Taking the blender from Mei Ling, she carefully poured the concoction into the container, pausing every once in a while to check a piece of paper on the counter. The mixture simmered for a minute, then returned to a normal looking milkshake. "Here." She said, pouring the pseudo-milkshake into a glass and putting on a tray. "Go deliver this to Xiao Lang."
"What!? Me!?" Mei Ling cried incredulously. "Nuh uh, no way! That's your potion, you do the dirty work!"
"Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut Meeeeeeeeeeeei Liiiiiiiiiiiing…" wailed Fei Mei, "Xiao isn't even going to let us get within ten feet of him without setting us on fire! He won't be suspicious of you."
"No. You guys have done nothing but plan while I've been doing all the labor." Mei Ling responded angrily, pointing at her cousins.
"Weren't we the ones who got chased around the library by some psycho guard after we snuck into the place? Which, I remind you, took at least an hour." Fah Ren muttered angrily under her breath to Fuu Tie, who sighed.
"You want to knock Xiao out, you give him the milkshake." Their cousin continued firmly, warming to the subject. "In fact, the only useful thing you've done the whole time was making the potion! And I'm going to be flying blind by myself once I get on the plane, tomorrow, so I think you guys owe it to me."
The four girls traded sideways looks. "But-" they began, only to be cut off.
"Nuh uh! There's no way in hell you're gonna make me do this, and that's final." Mei Ling declared, crossing her arms over her chest.
Fifteen minutes later Mei Ling found herself standing outside of Xiao Lang's room holding a tray with the ersatz milkshake on it and wondering if hell was as bad as everyone said it was.
***
Someone knocked on m door, and I resisted the urge to chuck my desk through the entryway. "Go away!" I yelled. "You four nutsos have already done enough damage. Why don't you go do something productive, like play in traffic?"
"Thanks, but no thanks." Mei Ling's voice answered, slightly muffled because of the door. "Now let me in."
"Oh. Sorry." I slid off my bed and padded lightly over to the door. "I thought you were my sisters."
"No, really?" she asked dryly when I opened it. "I couldn't tell. You're so subtle like that and all, you know." She was holding a tray with a milkshake on it in her hands, and I looked at it pointedly. "What? Haven't you ever seen a milkshake before?"
"Did my sisters send you to apologize for them?" A flicker of something that looked like guilt flitted across Mei Ling's face, but it came and went so quickly I wasn't sure if I had actually seen it.
"Yeah, I guess." She said vaguely, walking into my room and setting the tray on my dresser. I raised an eyebrow.
"You guess'? Did they send you here or not?" I asked, sitting back down on my bed.
"Sorta. They ambushed me in the hallway, and told me to deliver it to you or they would give me a wedgie." She replied, her back facing toward me as she fiddled with something on the tray. "I would define that more as blackmail, but then again, that's just my personal opinion."
"Somehow I'm not surprised." I responded wryly, watching her carefully. Something was up; Mei Ling was acting oddly, and I suspected my sisters had something to do with it. They always did. "So. You gonna stand there all day or what?"
"What?" Mei Ling replied distractedly. "Oh. No, of course not. Budge over, you big lump. My butt's not that small." I complied, shifting over so Mei Ling could occupy the other half of my bed, and she flopped down next to me. "Hey, Xiao…why don't you want to go to Japan?" she asked suddenly, turning her head to look at me quizzically. I didn't bother to reply, seeing as I was too busy falling off the bed in surprise to form an intelligent answer.
"Where the hell did that come from?" I asked furiously, pulling myself off the floor and leveling her with a glare, which didn't seem to concern her that much. "If my sisters-"
"Your sisters didn't have anything to do with this." She cut me off smoothly. "I want to know. After all, if you love Sakura, I think it would make sense to go see her."
I blushed. "I do love her."
"So go to Japan."
"No!"
"Why not? You're being an idiot, Xiao." Mei Ling informed me, sitting up and crossing her arms over her chest. I didn't reply, pretending I was too busy standing up and brushing imaginary dirt of my pants, which didn't even faze my cousin in the least; she remained in the same position leveling the same look at me until I felt compelled to say something.
"I just don't feel like it." I muttered rather lamely.
"Well, gee. That's a really good reason, Xiao." Mei Ling responded, sarcasm dripping from every word. "Honestly, I don't know why I even bothered. I should have known I wouldn't get through your thick skull." She stood up angrily, stalked over to the dresser and picked up the milkshake, then carried over to me. "Drink it."
I blinked at her intelligently. "Huh?"
"I wasn't going to make you do this, you know." She informed me huffily, "But if you're going to be so damn stubborn about it then I suppose I have no other choice." Utterly confused beyond any belief, I regressed from blinking stupidly to staring stupidly instead.
"What on earth does drinking that dumb milkshake have to do with anything?"
"It doesn't matter. Drink it and then I'll explain, alright?" My cousin ordered, looking extremely annoyed with me. Then I began to get suspicious. Mei Ling was here, trying to make me drink something my sisters had made; this fairly reeked of a Scheme.
"Wait a minute-" I began warily, only to be cut of forcibly as Mei Ling rushed me quickly, pinched my nose and held the glass up to my mouth. Surprised, I swallowed without thinking before hastily trying to spit it back out, causing myself to gag charmingly; but Mei Ling didn't back off, and I was forced to consume at some of the drink before I managed to knock her hand away. "Ookaaay…" I said, backing away from my cousin slowly as she began to circle me with a crazed gleam in her eye. "I'm gonna pretend that didn't happen…"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRAAAAAAAGGG!" She yelled suddenly, charging me with the milkshake in hand.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" I yelled, running desperately for the door in hopes of escape and throwing it open.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" My sisters agreed, destroying any chance of flight by cheerfully standing in the middle of the hallway outside my door and conveniently blocking my way out.
"Hi Xiao!" Fei Mei chirruped merrily, looking completely a-okay with the fact that Mei Ling was standing behind me looking as if there was nothing more she wished to do then rip me to shreds. "I guess Mei Ling didn't convince you then." She added sadly, shaking her head in disapproval.
"Silly boy. It would have been a lot easier for you if you had listened to her, and gone of your own free will." She Fa informed me casually, removing the glass from Mei Ling carefully and handing it to Fuu Tie. "Now we're going to have to do it the hard way."
"What are you talking about?!?" Mei Ling demanded. "There was never an 'easy way'! There was only the insane, law-breaking, incredibly STUPID way!"
I began to feel slightly worried.
"Honestly Mei Ling," Fuu Tie said in exasperation, rolling her eyes, "We knew you would try to convince him to go without being drugged. How thick do you think we are?" Mei Ling muttered a few extremely uncomplimentary words about my sisters and their stupid plans, earning her a stern reprimanding glare from She Fa and some equally unflattering words from Fuu Tie.
"What?" I asked, now in the stages of extreme panic, "What are you talking about? You're not seriously considering drugging me, are you?"
"It's too late, little brother!" Fah Ren said with a smile, pointing to the glass in She Fa's hands.
…
"WHAT?!!?" I roared, making my sister's 'eep' in surprise as I stalked towards them menacingly. "I AM GOING TO-" But my sisters never found out exactly what I was going to do, because the whatever they had put in the milkshake picked that exact moment to kick in and I suddenly found everything going black; crumpling to the ground I found myself staring at the ceiling as it slowly faded away, and my sisters gathered around me in interest.
Oh god…
***
"Alright!" Fei Mei cheered, as Xiao Lang's eye's flickered shut, "Phase one is a success! I think we should celebrate."
"Yeah…with some chocolate!"
"Or some ice cream."
"How about chocolate ice cream?"
"Rrgh…stop that!" Mei Ling ordered. "First of all, we have to find someplace to stuff Xiao's body, 'cuz his flight doesn't leave until tomorrow. Then there can be some chocolate, okay?"
"Fine, fine."
"Whatever. Let's hurry up so we can get some ice cream."
"Chocolate ice cream!"
"Wooooo! Chocolate!"
"Stop that and come over here!" Barked the Chinese girl, waving at her cousins impatiently.
Exactly one hour later the same girl found herself sitting in the kitchen watching as She Fa attempted to drink an entire bottle of chocolate syrup while her sisters cheered her on in a somewhat drunken fashion. Idly wondering if the four girls in the room with her had been replaced with some sort of demons at birth, Mei Ling heaved a sigh and stood up as her cousins began to giggle sporadically.
"Look! She stood up!" Gurgled Fuu Tie, causing her sisters to burst into hysterical laughter, followed shortly by She Fa spitting out a mouthful of chocolate as she tried to laugh and swallow at the same time and utterly failed. More giggling ensued, which Mei Ling ignored. Pausing to look back at her cousins as she reached the door, Mei Ling regarded them warmly. True, they were absolutely insane, prone to glomping people randomly, had a rather unnatural addiction to chocolate, and rather fond of buying Xiao pink underwear, but she loved them all the same and there were no other four people she would entrust Xiao's life with.
Stealing into the hallway quietly, Mei Ling shut the door carefully so that the loud tittering of the four girls sitting on the other side wouldn't be heard and headed to her room. As she passed by Xiao Lang's, she peaked inside and was reassured to see that he was still out cold, seeming as if he was simply lying asleep on his bed. Grinning to herself, Mei Ling set off down the hallway suddenly feeling a lot better about the whole scheme in general; at that point it looked like nothing could wrong.
Everything was going to be fine.
Or so she thought.
***
How many of you caught the random Shrek quote? (And, just to be safe, I don't own Shrek either, you silly moo.)