Helloooooo everyone! This is my first Yu-Yu fic so be nice. I decided to
make this one reeeeeeaaaaaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyyy long chapter instead of
lots of little one's so there wouldn't be sooo much loading for you guys.
Plus stupid internet can't always find a chapter. A special thanx to Vegeta
Shoulder Devil, she helped me write a lot. Anways, R&R!
Disclaimer: Okaaayyy, what should I do for disclaimer???? I know! *POP* Hiei frantically looks around and yells, "Hey what the hell am I doing here?!" Me: I didn't want to do a disclaimer so your doing it. Hiei: Dammit baka ningen, you brought me here for THAT! I was about to score! Me: Okkkkaaaaaay, way too much info, just do the disclaimer! Hiei: What if I don't want to? Me: Then I would be forced to make u gay in all my fics. *Hiei's sweat drops* Hiei: Hm, fine the Singing Fox Demon doesn't own Yu-Yu Hakusho or DBZ that she occasionally throws in. There are you happy now!? Me: Yes thank you. Hiei: Why'd you name your fic after you? Me: .Shut up you stupid half-pint!! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The Singing Fox Demon: Whistle while you Work
Kurama is sweeping up the apartment he and Hiei rented while whistling. Hiei approaches Kurama.
Kurama: Whistle while you work. (Kurama can't whistle but he can force air through his lips to sound remotely like whistling) Whistle, Whistle
Hiei: What the heck are you singing?!
Kurama: Whistle while you work. Snow White is right! It does make the work go so much faster! Whistle, whistle
Hiei: That's great, you can shut up now!?!?
Kurama: Whistle while you work! Whistle whistle
Hiei: Can you stop singing that same lyric over and over!!
Kurama (to that tune of the song): Don't know the rest of the words. Whistle, whistle
Hiei: I knew you were going soft but I didn't think you were going gay?! Wait, sorry, maybe I did.
Kurama: Whistle while you work! Whistle whistle
~Hiei tries to block out Kurama's horrible singing by reading the paper (Hiei's definition of reading the paper is taking a pen and scribbling on Hercule's face) in the leather armchair. ~
~ Kurama is vacuuming around the armchair. Then he picks up the armchair with Hiei in it with one hand and using the other to vacuum underneath it. ~
Kurama: Whistle while you work! Whistle, whistle
~Kurama abruptly drops the armchair with Hiei still in it and the chair lands sideways! ~
Hiei: KURAMA!
Kurama (still singing to the tune of the song): What is it Hi-ei? Whistle, whistle
Hiei (pleading): Can you please sing something else??
Kurama: Win-dex. The magical cure for every-thing.
Hiei: Can you please, sing anything else but that and the Windex song?
Kurama: Okay. [Singing] If I had a photocopier-----
Hiei (pleading even more than before): NOOOO, go back to the other song!!
Kurama: Okay! Whistle while you work! Whistle whistle
Hiei (giving Kurama the evil eye, curses under his breath): You, youuu.you.
Kurama puts on pink apron that says, " I 3 cleaning" and continues his happy little jingle.
Hiei (screaming and crying): I can't take much more of this!!
Then Yusuke pops out of nowhere.
Hiei: Yusuke will you please drive this pointy object and pierce my heart.
~Hiei hands Yusuke his favorite katana. ~
Yuske: Hm, fine.
~Kurama starts doing a Broadway Musical thing and starts doing a little swing dance, jumpy mabobber-thing.
Kurama (singing): Hold-on-there-a-'min-Yuuuuuuusssssuuuuukkkeeeeeee!! It's-time-for-Hiei's-anti-depresseeeeeeeeents!! To stop him from committing suciiiiideeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Kurama slides on his knees up to Yusuke and Hiei. All of a sudden the music abruptly stops and Kurama walks up to Hiei and stomps on his foot. Hiei's mouth opens like a trash can and Kurama pops pills into his mouth.
Hiei (as Kurama goes back to his work): Ow!! Dang you!! I wanted to die!!
Kurama (still singing): Oh-Hiei-you-know-that's-just-the-chemical-imbalance- talking!
Kurama stops singing, lifts his index finger, smiles sweetly and says: And besides, in about, oh one minute you'll be in your happy place.
Yuske (thinking): Kurama really is gay!! Poor Hiei. No wonder he wants to commit suicide. I wouldn't last an hour with this Broad-Way Freak-Show!!
Yuske: Well Hiei, have fun with the Broadway Production and your happy pills.
~Yusuke walks off stage ~
Hiei (extending his arm reaching for Yusuke like his is totally helpless): Wait, don't leave me!! Suddenly Hiei's happy pills/anti-depressants kick in. (In a drugged up voice) Weeeeee I'm in my happy place; night-night.
~Hiei conks out and falls asleep. Two hours later, Hiei wakes up and is back in his grouchy mood. It just so happened that Kurama took a 2-hour break and now that Hiei's awaken Kurama continues his lovely little serande.
Hiei: Slacker! Why didn't you just finish your cleaning then along with your pitiful singing!
Kurama: Oh Hiei, I didn't want to wake you or deprive you of my lovely singing. La, la, la, la.
Hiei: AHHHH. You couldn't have woken me up!! I was in my happy place. A hurricane could have hit and I wouldn't have woken up!!
~You see, Kurama has selective hearing (like me) which means he only hears what he wants to hear and at this particular moment he doesn't want to hear Hiei. ~
Kurama (singing): Whistle while work! Whistle, whistle
~ A stray cat sitting on the fence outside was getting just as tired of Kurama's off-key, crappy, bad singing as Hiei so he decides to throw a boot at him. Unfortunately Kurama notices a nickel on the ground and Hiei just happened to be standing behind Kurama. ~
Kurama in an extra high squeaky voice: Ohh, looky! It's a nickel!!
~Just by coincidence, Kurama bends down at the very moment the boot is supposed to hit him and it hits Hiei in the face instead. ~
Kurama: Look Hiei, I found a nickel!
~Kurama turns around to see Hiei lying on the floor, halfway out cold, with a boot imprint on his face. When Hiei wakes up about an hour later (it just so happened that Kurama had to go run an errand and goes back to singing and cleaning as soon as Hiei wakes up) he is mad as heck and can't stand another word of Kurama's singing. ~
Hiei: I'm starting to enjoy these knockout sessions; they're much better than listening to you sing.
Kurama: That's not very nice! I never make fun of your singing! Hmph!
Hiei: That's 'cause I don't sing.
Kurama: Oh. (Continues singing) Whistle while you work! Whistle, whistle
~Out of nowhere, Hiei starts humming to Whistle while you work. ~
Hiei: (hmmming to tune of 'whistle while you work) Hmmmmm, hmmm. AHHH what am I doing?! This is your fault (pointing to Kurama) YOUR STUPID SONG FROM THE STUPID MOVIE IS GETTING STUCK IN MY STUPID HEAD!!! What a minute, my head not stupid. let me try this again. YOUR STUPID SONG FROM THE STUPID MOVIE IS GETTING STUCK IN MY HEAD!! Yes, that's much better.
Kurama in a girly voice: Oh, Hiei, I just knew you liked my singing!! He,he,he (Kurama runs to Hiei and tries to give him a hug.)
Hiei: AHHH, GET OFF OF ME!!
~Hiei goes to the next room to blast his heavy metal on the stereo to try and block out Kurama's singing. Then, suddenly, Kurama comes into the room standing on a 20-ft tall amplifier with a microphone and a karaoke machine. ~
Kurama (partially singing, partially yelling): WHISTLE WHILE YOU WORK!! WHISTLE, WHISTLE
~ An incredible amount of shock waves are formed, exploding the stereo and causing Hiei to go flying backwards. Amazingly, Hiei is still alive, but he was out for 5 minutes. Hiei gets up to find Kurama still cleaning and humming his stupid little song. When Hiei walks in, Kurama abruptly starts laughing for no reason. ~
Hiei: What! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT?!?!
Kurama (still laughing): Nothing, oh nothing at all.ha, ha, ha.
Hiei: TELL ME WHY YOU'RE LAUGHING YOU FAGGOT!!
~ Hiei looks left and conveniently sees himself in a mirror. His face is covered with pink flowers, peace signs, pink hearts, with a fluorescent purple triangle on his forehead, smiley faces, and his nose colored pink with kitty whiskers. Hiei is so frazzled by the sight of his face covered with gay, crappy, foo-foo stuff he abruptly blurts out in a psychopathic, demented voice "I invented the question mark!" Then he starts hopping on one foot singing Peter Cottontail.
Hiei: Here comes Peter Cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail, hippedy- hopedy Easter's on its way.
~ Kurama giggles a bit and hits Hiei over the head with the vacuum cleaner.
Then Hiei starts singing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, didely- didley, now there they are all standing there in a row, bum-bum-bum, big ones, small ones, some as big as your head" while doing an interpretive dance. Kurama hits Hiei over the head with the vacuum again.
Hiei: It's a small world after all.
Then Kurama hits Hiei over the head multiple times. Hiei picks up a guitar out of nowhere.
Hiei singing and playing guitar: Bye, bye Ms. American Pie drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy went dry. And good oh'll boys were drinking whisky and rye.
Meanwhile, Kurama is dancing with the vacuum. He then leans over so he and Hiei are shoulder to shoulder.
Hiei and Kurama singing together: .singing this will be the day that I die, this will be the day that I diii--iiieee.
Kurama hits Hiei over the head a last time and Hiei returns to normal and remembers he's covered in crappy, foo-foo doodles.
Hiei: KURAMA, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU COVER MY FACE WITH YOUR STUPID LITTLE DOODLES!!!
Kurama: Well Hiei, at first I drew just a little heart and then I decided to put a flower and then a smiley face over here and the a peace sign and then it just sort of got out of hand. Sorry! (He smiles adorably).
Hiei starts rubbing his cheeks: How come it won't come off?!?!
Kurama: Well, I couldn't find a regular washable marker so I just used permanent! (Smiles adorably)
"Pop" all of a sudden Kuwabara and Botan pop out of nowhere. Kuwabara starts laughing at Hiei hysterically.
Kuwabara: HA, HA, HA.
Hiei: Shut up fool!!
Kuwabara: Look who's talkin', fool!! HA, HA, HA.
Botan: Oh, Hiei you look so adorable, I could just hug you!
Hiei starts blushing, scratches his head, and looks away to prevent and further blushing because he has a secret crush on Botan.
Kuwabara just realizing how to score points with Botan's good side, since he also is in love with Botan (even if it isn't very secret) grabs the permanent pink marker and scribbles flowers, peace signs, and a purple triangle, but it all looks like it's a pile of crap since Kuwabara couldn't draw a stick figure.
Kuwabara: See Botan, I'm adorably cute too so you can hug me!
Botan screams and chucks a baseball bat at Kuwabara. Unfortunately, Kuwabara isn't discouraged and chases Botan around the room trying to kiss her.
Botan: AHHHHHHH, somebody save me!
Hiei: LEAVE BOTAN ALONE, YOU FOOL!
Just then, Hiei jumps in to rescue Botan. Out of nowhere, Hiei grabs his sword and turns Kuwabara into shish kabob and Kuwabara dies forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever (a.n. because Kuwabara is an ugly stupid fool that deserves to die and looks like he was hit by a train.)
Botan: You saved me! Thank you! He, he, he
That's when Botan pulls a camera out of nowhere and takes about 5 dozen pictures of Hiei (who still has the pink foo-foo flowers, etc on his face) and kisses Hiei on the nose giving Hiei a gazed look on his face until he realizes he is going to be the laughing stock of everywhere.
Hiei: WAIT, don't develop those pictures!
Botan: He, he, he.I'm posting these pictures everywhere!!!! =)^_^
Botan walks out without listening to Hiei.
Hiei leans back and screams, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," until a screen cracks.
Hiei: Great! No I'm going to be the laughing stock of Spirit World and to demons everywhere and it's all your fault (pointing to Kurama) (then talks to himself) lets see if I ever fall in love again; women are nothing but trouble!
Kurama goes back to cleaning and didn't pay attention to Hiei.
Kurama: Whistle while you work! Whistle, whistle
Hiei has had enough at this point with all and all so something just snaps and Hiei becomes furious. Hiei walks into the kitchen and comes back holding a very large knife. Kurama starts squealing like a girl and somehow found himself trapped in a corner with his vacuum (convenient, ain't it?)
Kurama: EEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHCCCCCCKKKKKKK, DON'T DO IT HIEI!!!!!!!!
Hiei jumps and slashes the vacuum cleaner into a million little pieces and dirt goes flying everywhere.
Kurama (back to normal): Ohh shucks Hiei, now I have to do all that cleaning all over again (Kurama smiles adorably but with a tint of evil in it) and all that singing again.
Hiei leans back and says, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." causing the screen to break again. " SHUT UP!!" The Singing Fox demon (in other words, me) off-stage yells at Hiei and drops a piano on him.
Hiei (yelling to me off-stage): STUPID IDIOT! I'M JUST FOLLOWING YOUR STUPID SCRIPT!!
Hiei rolls up his sleeves and marches off stage.
Kurama: Wait Hiei, that's not in the script!!
Hiei: OHH, SO YA WANNA FIGHT ME TOO, EH??!!
~Many bandages later~ Hiei and Kurama continue as if nothing happened but you can quite easily tell something did. Kurama has a black eye and one of his shirtsleeves is torn off and Hiei has two black eyes and his cloaky thing is in shreds because he fought me and I can't lose because I am the all powerful fic author.
Hiei: How long will it take you to finish your cleaning?
Kurama: Well normally it would take about 5 hours, but since you broke my vacuum, it should take, ohhh, 12 hours.
Hiei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meanwhile, little green aliens far, far away are getting very tired of Hiei yelling "NO" all the time. Along with these little green aliens are Dende and Piccolo who are getting a migraine because they have especially big ears. Piccolo and Dende bust into Hiei's and Kurama's apartment.
Hiei: Hey! You're not supposed to be in this fic!!
Piccolo: Shut up! You're giving me a migraine!
Dende: Yeah! Hmph! You're worst than Vegeta!
Hiei: Stay out of this, Dende, "Goddess of the Earth," your not in this fic!!
Dende: I heard that crack and just because I'm green doesn't mean I don't have feelings too. WAAAAAHHH!!!(Dende runs off stage crying)
All the other Namecks off stage hiss and boo and through tomatoes at Hiei. Piccolo walks up to Hiei and puts duck tape over his mouth causing Hiei much pain when he rips it off.
Hiei: OOOOWWW!!!
All the Namecks laugh and go elsewhere.
Hiei: Hey, that wasn't in the script!! And how come those green beans didn't complain about your singing!!
Kurama: Yes it was in the script and besides my singing is the most wonderful thing in the world and I'm glad some people like it! La, la, la
A Nameck throws a tomato at Kurama and yells, "SHUT UP!"
Hiei cracks up a bit and says, "Yeah right, anyhow I went over the script a dozen times that wasn't supposed to happen!"
Kurama: Well that was the script while the Singing Fox Demon was still on the phone with Vegeta Shoulder Devil, but she got a great idea after they hung up so she revised it a bit.
Hiei: WHAT! Dammit, my agent is so fired. He said this was a good offer, but the stupid fic author is too wishy-washy!
Kurama: It's too late, we signed a lifetime contract, they never tell you these things until it's too late.
Hiei: NOOO- Oww! (Dende threw a tomato before Hiei did the "No" thing again) All I ever wanted was to live a normal life, have a family, go to a retirement home, and yell at kids to get off my lawn!!
Kurama: I know what you mean. these fic authors make me act like a gay fag...I'll never get a date.
The Singing Fox Demon: HEY, GET BACK TO THE SCRIPT!!
Kurama and Hiei: SHUT UP, we're having a moment, we're clinically depressed!
The Singing Fox Demon: Ohh, God!!
~Much counseling later the script gets back on track~
(If you don't remember since there has been so much inference, Hiei is shocked to find out he has to put up with 12 hours of Kurama's singing.)
About 6 hours of Kurama's cleaning has passed and Hiei is slumping into the leather armchair regretting he had slashed the vacuum because it would have already been over with if it not been for him.
Kurama: Whistle while you work! Whislte, whistle
Hiei: Isn't there any way to make this go faster!?
Kurama: Wellll, yeeeeessssssss.
Hiei: THAN DO IT!!!
Kurama: Well okay, whistle, whistle. Come out guys!!
Trees and rose bushes and pretty little flowers abruptly start growing out of nowhere at an alarming speed. Then, a number of cute, fuzzy woodland creatures poke their heads out of the bushes. Bunnies and deer and birds and squirrels jump out and assist Kurama in his cleaning. And like Kurama, they somehow are tweeting or humming "Whislte While You Work."
Kurama and Woodland Creatures: Whistle while you work! Whistle, Whistle
Hiei: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Hiei runs out of the building at top speed yelling like a maniac and getting as far away from Kurama as he can since he can't stand him and his faggotness or his song and especially woodland creatures.
"I think I'll try something less dangerous, like shark wrestling," Hiei says as he approaches Mexico.
Meanwhile at the apartment Kurama snaps his fingers and all the annoying woodland creatures disappear. Kurama faces the audience and explains what happened.
Kurama: The woodland creatures were just a little optical illusion I learned. Okay folks, I'm not really a fag I was getting revenge on Hiei. He says lets rent an apartment together and sticks me with all the bills and work and doesn't even help me clean! Hmph! He calls me slacker! So I planned revenge that he soooo deserved. Cough, cough sorry bout that, not used to singing in such a high, off-key voice and I'm actually not such a bad singer.
Kurama does a few practice attempts at "Time Of Your Life" and out of nowhere, evil rabid schizophrenic fangirls from hell carrying signs that say "I 3 Kurama" break down the door and start chasing him and throw bouquets of roses at his feet. Kurama: Ahh, looks like I must run, seriously, so, yeah, bye.
Meanwhile, in Mexico, Hiei proves just how good his hearing is, that he can hear what Kurama says on the other half of the planet.
Hiei: Why that good for nothing not so gay rose-wheedling traitor!! It was all just a trick! I'm going to kill him!! "No, when I'm through with him he's going to wish he was dead." Hiei smirks evilly, "instead I'll do what he did to me. I'll have my on revenge."
Hiei pulls his cell phone out of his back pocket and dials up Capsule Corp.
Hiei: Vegeta. I have a proposition for you. (Hiei starts laughing like Dr. Evil) MWA, HA, HA, HA, MWA, HA, HA, HA.
Vegeta starts laughing along with Hiei (like #2) and abruptly stops, "What are we laughing about?" Hiei ignores Vegeta and continues his grotesque laughing until I drop an anvil on Hiei's head.
Vegeta: Hiei, HIEI are you there?
Singing Fox Demon above stage: MWA, HA, HA, HA, MWA, HA, HA.
Hiei: Stupid fic author. owwwwwww. *falls unconscious* ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------ Yu-YU Narrator: Is Hiei really going to have his revenge on Kurama or is this just a really good bluff? And how will Hiei do it? Can Kurama survive? Will Singing Fox Demon ever stop tormenting Hiei? And what does Vegeta have to do with this? You can find the answers to these questions and more out in the sequel, "Hiei's Revenge: Is Hiei Gay?"
* Preview 4 next Episode * Yusuke: Hi Yusuke here. I don't know why I'm even doing this; I was barely in the 1st fic. So anyways, Hiei unexpectedly shows up from out of nowhere and then Vegeta steps in. Hey wait a minute this is a YU-YU fic not a DbZ fic! Oh well, anyway the authoress wants you to know that this fic isn't yaoi or shonenai or whatever cause she doesn't believe in that sort of crap. Hiei is just trying to get revenge on Kurama. So give the nice authoress lots of reviews so I can stop doing this-am I done now?
TSFD: With the 1st part.
5 minutes later *
Yusuke: Why do we have to do this again? Singing Fox Demon: Cause I couldn't afford to hire the original singer for your theme songs. Hiei: Hm, fine Yu-Yu Hakusho Gang Singing: . Marking off my legacy of worldly deeds
Tick, Tock, Tick ~Unfortunately Yusuke's singing sucks so bad everyone if forced to stop to cover there ears~ Hiei: SHUT UP YUSUKE!!!! Yusuke: What's the matter, don't you like my singing? (Sarcastically) Hiei: As a matter of fact I despise it, your worse than Kurama Kurama: Hey Singing Fox Demon: . Ok from no on Kurama's doing a solo Kurama: Yeah! (Singing) Constantly I think of things I can't complete
Well it's time to throw them into the back seat
Son Of a Gun! ~Evil Rabid Schizophrenic Fangirls from hell start chasing Kurama Kurama: HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Singing Fox Demon: OK looks like the I have to end this fic, better go help Kurama, Hiei go help Kurama! Hiei * eyes big & round in fear* ME, WHY ME, WHY NOT YOU?!?!? Singing Fox Demon: Cause I've got to talk the fans * pushes Hiei and fangirls immediately chase him * Send me reviews on how to do the sequel (or even just to do it). This was my first Yu-Yu fic so don't hurt me. If you liked it please review even if you just say Hi or something cause then I'll know just how many people want me to continue. If you didn't like it flame me I won't feel bad. I know it probably sux but it would be nice to get some new ideas or I might just not do it. Well anyhow, thanx for reading this fic and please read the sequel when/if it comes out. And remember to review or I won't do the 2nd. See ya 'round!
=) The Singing Fox Demon (; Kurama & Hiei: SAVE US!!!
Disclaimer: Okaaayyy, what should I do for disclaimer???? I know! *POP* Hiei frantically looks around and yells, "Hey what the hell am I doing here?!" Me: I didn't want to do a disclaimer so your doing it. Hiei: Dammit baka ningen, you brought me here for THAT! I was about to score! Me: Okkkkaaaaaay, way too much info, just do the disclaimer! Hiei: What if I don't want to? Me: Then I would be forced to make u gay in all my fics. *Hiei's sweat drops* Hiei: Hm, fine the Singing Fox Demon doesn't own Yu-Yu Hakusho or DBZ that she occasionally throws in. There are you happy now!? Me: Yes thank you. Hiei: Why'd you name your fic after you? Me: .Shut up you stupid half-pint!! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The Singing Fox Demon: Whistle while you Work
Kurama is sweeping up the apartment he and Hiei rented while whistling. Hiei approaches Kurama.
Kurama: Whistle while you work. (Kurama can't whistle but he can force air through his lips to sound remotely like whistling) Whistle, Whistle
Hiei: What the heck are you singing?!
Kurama: Whistle while you work. Snow White is right! It does make the work go so much faster! Whistle, whistle
Hiei: That's great, you can shut up now!?!?
Kurama: Whistle while you work! Whistle whistle
Hiei: Can you stop singing that same lyric over and over!!
Kurama (to that tune of the song): Don't know the rest of the words. Whistle, whistle
Hiei: I knew you were going soft but I didn't think you were going gay?! Wait, sorry, maybe I did.
Kurama: Whistle while you work! Whistle whistle
~Hiei tries to block out Kurama's horrible singing by reading the paper (Hiei's definition of reading the paper is taking a pen and scribbling on Hercule's face) in the leather armchair. ~
~ Kurama is vacuuming around the armchair. Then he picks up the armchair with Hiei in it with one hand and using the other to vacuum underneath it. ~
Kurama: Whistle while you work! Whistle, whistle
~Kurama abruptly drops the armchair with Hiei still in it and the chair lands sideways! ~
Hiei: KURAMA!
Kurama (still singing to the tune of the song): What is it Hi-ei? Whistle, whistle
Hiei (pleading): Can you please sing something else??
Kurama: Win-dex. The magical cure for every-thing.
Hiei: Can you please, sing anything else but that and the Windex song?
Kurama: Okay. [Singing] If I had a photocopier-----
Hiei (pleading even more than before): NOOOO, go back to the other song!!
Kurama: Okay! Whistle while you work! Whistle whistle
Hiei (giving Kurama the evil eye, curses under his breath): You, youuu.you.
Kurama puts on pink apron that says, " I 3 cleaning" and continues his happy little jingle.
Hiei (screaming and crying): I can't take much more of this!!
Then Yusuke pops out of nowhere.
Hiei: Yusuke will you please drive this pointy object and pierce my heart.
~Hiei hands Yusuke his favorite katana. ~
Yuske: Hm, fine.
~Kurama starts doing a Broadway Musical thing and starts doing a little swing dance, jumpy mabobber-thing.
Kurama (singing): Hold-on-there-a-'min-Yuuuuuuusssssuuuuukkkeeeeeee!! It's-time-for-Hiei's-anti-depresseeeeeeeeents!! To stop him from committing suciiiiideeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Kurama slides on his knees up to Yusuke and Hiei. All of a sudden the music abruptly stops and Kurama walks up to Hiei and stomps on his foot. Hiei's mouth opens like a trash can and Kurama pops pills into his mouth.
Hiei (as Kurama goes back to his work): Ow!! Dang you!! I wanted to die!!
Kurama (still singing): Oh-Hiei-you-know-that's-just-the-chemical-imbalance- talking!
Kurama stops singing, lifts his index finger, smiles sweetly and says: And besides, in about, oh one minute you'll be in your happy place.
Yuske (thinking): Kurama really is gay!! Poor Hiei. No wonder he wants to commit suicide. I wouldn't last an hour with this Broad-Way Freak-Show!!
Yuske: Well Hiei, have fun with the Broadway Production and your happy pills.
~Yusuke walks off stage ~
Hiei (extending his arm reaching for Yusuke like his is totally helpless): Wait, don't leave me!! Suddenly Hiei's happy pills/anti-depressants kick in. (In a drugged up voice) Weeeeee I'm in my happy place; night-night.
~Hiei conks out and falls asleep. Two hours later, Hiei wakes up and is back in his grouchy mood. It just so happened that Kurama took a 2-hour break and now that Hiei's awaken Kurama continues his lovely little serande.
Hiei: Slacker! Why didn't you just finish your cleaning then along with your pitiful singing!
Kurama: Oh Hiei, I didn't want to wake you or deprive you of my lovely singing. La, la, la, la.
Hiei: AHHHH. You couldn't have woken me up!! I was in my happy place. A hurricane could have hit and I wouldn't have woken up!!
~You see, Kurama has selective hearing (like me) which means he only hears what he wants to hear and at this particular moment he doesn't want to hear Hiei. ~
Kurama (singing): Whistle while work! Whistle, whistle
~ A stray cat sitting on the fence outside was getting just as tired of Kurama's off-key, crappy, bad singing as Hiei so he decides to throw a boot at him. Unfortunately Kurama notices a nickel on the ground and Hiei just happened to be standing behind Kurama. ~
Kurama in an extra high squeaky voice: Ohh, looky! It's a nickel!!
~Just by coincidence, Kurama bends down at the very moment the boot is supposed to hit him and it hits Hiei in the face instead. ~
Kurama: Look Hiei, I found a nickel!
~Kurama turns around to see Hiei lying on the floor, halfway out cold, with a boot imprint on his face. When Hiei wakes up about an hour later (it just so happened that Kurama had to go run an errand and goes back to singing and cleaning as soon as Hiei wakes up) he is mad as heck and can't stand another word of Kurama's singing. ~
Hiei: I'm starting to enjoy these knockout sessions; they're much better than listening to you sing.
Kurama: That's not very nice! I never make fun of your singing! Hmph!
Hiei: That's 'cause I don't sing.
Kurama: Oh. (Continues singing) Whistle while you work! Whistle, whistle
~Out of nowhere, Hiei starts humming to Whistle while you work. ~
Hiei: (hmmming to tune of 'whistle while you work) Hmmmmm, hmmm. AHHH what am I doing?! This is your fault (pointing to Kurama) YOUR STUPID SONG FROM THE STUPID MOVIE IS GETTING STUCK IN MY STUPID HEAD!!! What a minute, my head not stupid. let me try this again. YOUR STUPID SONG FROM THE STUPID MOVIE IS GETTING STUCK IN MY HEAD!! Yes, that's much better.
Kurama in a girly voice: Oh, Hiei, I just knew you liked my singing!! He,he,he (Kurama runs to Hiei and tries to give him a hug.)
Hiei: AHHH, GET OFF OF ME!!
~Hiei goes to the next room to blast his heavy metal on the stereo to try and block out Kurama's singing. Then, suddenly, Kurama comes into the room standing on a 20-ft tall amplifier with a microphone and a karaoke machine. ~
Kurama (partially singing, partially yelling): WHISTLE WHILE YOU WORK!! WHISTLE, WHISTLE
~ An incredible amount of shock waves are formed, exploding the stereo and causing Hiei to go flying backwards. Amazingly, Hiei is still alive, but he was out for 5 minutes. Hiei gets up to find Kurama still cleaning and humming his stupid little song. When Hiei walks in, Kurama abruptly starts laughing for no reason. ~
Hiei: What! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT?!?!
Kurama (still laughing): Nothing, oh nothing at all.ha, ha, ha.
Hiei: TELL ME WHY YOU'RE LAUGHING YOU FAGGOT!!
~ Hiei looks left and conveniently sees himself in a mirror. His face is covered with pink flowers, peace signs, pink hearts, with a fluorescent purple triangle on his forehead, smiley faces, and his nose colored pink with kitty whiskers. Hiei is so frazzled by the sight of his face covered with gay, crappy, foo-foo stuff he abruptly blurts out in a psychopathic, demented voice "I invented the question mark!" Then he starts hopping on one foot singing Peter Cottontail.
Hiei: Here comes Peter Cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail, hippedy- hopedy Easter's on its way.
~ Kurama giggles a bit and hits Hiei over the head with the vacuum cleaner.
Then Hiei starts singing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, didely- didley, now there they are all standing there in a row, bum-bum-bum, big ones, small ones, some as big as your head" while doing an interpretive dance. Kurama hits Hiei over the head with the vacuum again.
Hiei: It's a small world after all.
Then Kurama hits Hiei over the head multiple times. Hiei picks up a guitar out of nowhere.
Hiei singing and playing guitar: Bye, bye Ms. American Pie drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy went dry. And good oh'll boys were drinking whisky and rye.
Meanwhile, Kurama is dancing with the vacuum. He then leans over so he and Hiei are shoulder to shoulder.
Hiei and Kurama singing together: .singing this will be the day that I die, this will be the day that I diii--iiieee.
Kurama hits Hiei over the head a last time and Hiei returns to normal and remembers he's covered in crappy, foo-foo doodles.
Hiei: KURAMA, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU COVER MY FACE WITH YOUR STUPID LITTLE DOODLES!!!
Kurama: Well Hiei, at first I drew just a little heart and then I decided to put a flower and then a smiley face over here and the a peace sign and then it just sort of got out of hand. Sorry! (He smiles adorably).
Hiei starts rubbing his cheeks: How come it won't come off?!?!
Kurama: Well, I couldn't find a regular washable marker so I just used permanent! (Smiles adorably)
"Pop" all of a sudden Kuwabara and Botan pop out of nowhere. Kuwabara starts laughing at Hiei hysterically.
Kuwabara: HA, HA, HA.
Hiei: Shut up fool!!
Kuwabara: Look who's talkin', fool!! HA, HA, HA.
Botan: Oh, Hiei you look so adorable, I could just hug you!
Hiei starts blushing, scratches his head, and looks away to prevent and further blushing because he has a secret crush on Botan.
Kuwabara just realizing how to score points with Botan's good side, since he also is in love with Botan (even if it isn't very secret) grabs the permanent pink marker and scribbles flowers, peace signs, and a purple triangle, but it all looks like it's a pile of crap since Kuwabara couldn't draw a stick figure.
Kuwabara: See Botan, I'm adorably cute too so you can hug me!
Botan screams and chucks a baseball bat at Kuwabara. Unfortunately, Kuwabara isn't discouraged and chases Botan around the room trying to kiss her.
Botan: AHHHHHHH, somebody save me!
Hiei: LEAVE BOTAN ALONE, YOU FOOL!
Just then, Hiei jumps in to rescue Botan. Out of nowhere, Hiei grabs his sword and turns Kuwabara into shish kabob and Kuwabara dies forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever (a.n. because Kuwabara is an ugly stupid fool that deserves to die and looks like he was hit by a train.)
Botan: You saved me! Thank you! He, he, he
That's when Botan pulls a camera out of nowhere and takes about 5 dozen pictures of Hiei (who still has the pink foo-foo flowers, etc on his face) and kisses Hiei on the nose giving Hiei a gazed look on his face until he realizes he is going to be the laughing stock of everywhere.
Hiei: WAIT, don't develop those pictures!
Botan: He, he, he.I'm posting these pictures everywhere!!!! =)^_^
Botan walks out without listening to Hiei.
Hiei leans back and screams, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," until a screen cracks.
Hiei: Great! No I'm going to be the laughing stock of Spirit World and to demons everywhere and it's all your fault (pointing to Kurama) (then talks to himself) lets see if I ever fall in love again; women are nothing but trouble!
Kurama goes back to cleaning and didn't pay attention to Hiei.
Kurama: Whistle while you work! Whistle, whistle
Hiei has had enough at this point with all and all so something just snaps and Hiei becomes furious. Hiei walks into the kitchen and comes back holding a very large knife. Kurama starts squealing like a girl and somehow found himself trapped in a corner with his vacuum (convenient, ain't it?)
Kurama: EEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHCCCCCCKKKKKKK, DON'T DO IT HIEI!!!!!!!!
Hiei jumps and slashes the vacuum cleaner into a million little pieces and dirt goes flying everywhere.
Kurama (back to normal): Ohh shucks Hiei, now I have to do all that cleaning all over again (Kurama smiles adorably but with a tint of evil in it) and all that singing again.
Hiei leans back and says, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." causing the screen to break again. " SHUT UP!!" The Singing Fox demon (in other words, me) off-stage yells at Hiei and drops a piano on him.
Hiei (yelling to me off-stage): STUPID IDIOT! I'M JUST FOLLOWING YOUR STUPID SCRIPT!!
Hiei rolls up his sleeves and marches off stage.
Kurama: Wait Hiei, that's not in the script!!
Hiei: OHH, SO YA WANNA FIGHT ME TOO, EH??!!
~Many bandages later~ Hiei and Kurama continue as if nothing happened but you can quite easily tell something did. Kurama has a black eye and one of his shirtsleeves is torn off and Hiei has two black eyes and his cloaky thing is in shreds because he fought me and I can't lose because I am the all powerful fic author.
Hiei: How long will it take you to finish your cleaning?
Kurama: Well normally it would take about 5 hours, but since you broke my vacuum, it should take, ohhh, 12 hours.
Hiei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meanwhile, little green aliens far, far away are getting very tired of Hiei yelling "NO" all the time. Along with these little green aliens are Dende and Piccolo who are getting a migraine because they have especially big ears. Piccolo and Dende bust into Hiei's and Kurama's apartment.
Hiei: Hey! You're not supposed to be in this fic!!
Piccolo: Shut up! You're giving me a migraine!
Dende: Yeah! Hmph! You're worst than Vegeta!
Hiei: Stay out of this, Dende, "Goddess of the Earth," your not in this fic!!
Dende: I heard that crack and just because I'm green doesn't mean I don't have feelings too. WAAAAAHHH!!!(Dende runs off stage crying)
All the other Namecks off stage hiss and boo and through tomatoes at Hiei. Piccolo walks up to Hiei and puts duck tape over his mouth causing Hiei much pain when he rips it off.
Hiei: OOOOWWW!!!
All the Namecks laugh and go elsewhere.
Hiei: Hey, that wasn't in the script!! And how come those green beans didn't complain about your singing!!
Kurama: Yes it was in the script and besides my singing is the most wonderful thing in the world and I'm glad some people like it! La, la, la
A Nameck throws a tomato at Kurama and yells, "SHUT UP!"
Hiei cracks up a bit and says, "Yeah right, anyhow I went over the script a dozen times that wasn't supposed to happen!"
Kurama: Well that was the script while the Singing Fox Demon was still on the phone with Vegeta Shoulder Devil, but she got a great idea after they hung up so she revised it a bit.
Hiei: WHAT! Dammit, my agent is so fired. He said this was a good offer, but the stupid fic author is too wishy-washy!
Kurama: It's too late, we signed a lifetime contract, they never tell you these things until it's too late.
Hiei: NOOO- Oww! (Dende threw a tomato before Hiei did the "No" thing again) All I ever wanted was to live a normal life, have a family, go to a retirement home, and yell at kids to get off my lawn!!
Kurama: I know what you mean. these fic authors make me act like a gay fag...I'll never get a date.
The Singing Fox Demon: HEY, GET BACK TO THE SCRIPT!!
Kurama and Hiei: SHUT UP, we're having a moment, we're clinically depressed!
The Singing Fox Demon: Ohh, God!!
~Much counseling later the script gets back on track~
(If you don't remember since there has been so much inference, Hiei is shocked to find out he has to put up with 12 hours of Kurama's singing.)
About 6 hours of Kurama's cleaning has passed and Hiei is slumping into the leather armchair regretting he had slashed the vacuum because it would have already been over with if it not been for him.
Kurama: Whistle while you work! Whislte, whistle
Hiei: Isn't there any way to make this go faster!?
Kurama: Wellll, yeeeeessssssss.
Hiei: THAN DO IT!!!
Kurama: Well okay, whistle, whistle. Come out guys!!
Trees and rose bushes and pretty little flowers abruptly start growing out of nowhere at an alarming speed. Then, a number of cute, fuzzy woodland creatures poke their heads out of the bushes. Bunnies and deer and birds and squirrels jump out and assist Kurama in his cleaning. And like Kurama, they somehow are tweeting or humming "Whislte While You Work."
Kurama and Woodland Creatures: Whistle while you work! Whistle, Whistle
Hiei: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Hiei runs out of the building at top speed yelling like a maniac and getting as far away from Kurama as he can since he can't stand him and his faggotness or his song and especially woodland creatures.
"I think I'll try something less dangerous, like shark wrestling," Hiei says as he approaches Mexico.
Meanwhile at the apartment Kurama snaps his fingers and all the annoying woodland creatures disappear. Kurama faces the audience and explains what happened.
Kurama: The woodland creatures were just a little optical illusion I learned. Okay folks, I'm not really a fag I was getting revenge on Hiei. He says lets rent an apartment together and sticks me with all the bills and work and doesn't even help me clean! Hmph! He calls me slacker! So I planned revenge that he soooo deserved. Cough, cough sorry bout that, not used to singing in such a high, off-key voice and I'm actually not such a bad singer.
Kurama does a few practice attempts at "Time Of Your Life" and out of nowhere, evil rabid schizophrenic fangirls from hell carrying signs that say "I 3 Kurama" break down the door and start chasing him and throw bouquets of roses at his feet. Kurama: Ahh, looks like I must run, seriously, so, yeah, bye.
Meanwhile, in Mexico, Hiei proves just how good his hearing is, that he can hear what Kurama says on the other half of the planet.
Hiei: Why that good for nothing not so gay rose-wheedling traitor!! It was all just a trick! I'm going to kill him!! "No, when I'm through with him he's going to wish he was dead." Hiei smirks evilly, "instead I'll do what he did to me. I'll have my on revenge."
Hiei pulls his cell phone out of his back pocket and dials up Capsule Corp.
Hiei: Vegeta. I have a proposition for you. (Hiei starts laughing like Dr. Evil) MWA, HA, HA, HA, MWA, HA, HA, HA.
Vegeta starts laughing along with Hiei (like #2) and abruptly stops, "What are we laughing about?" Hiei ignores Vegeta and continues his grotesque laughing until I drop an anvil on Hiei's head.
Vegeta: Hiei, HIEI are you there?
Singing Fox Demon above stage: MWA, HA, HA, HA, MWA, HA, HA.
Hiei: Stupid fic author. owwwwwww. *falls unconscious* ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------ Yu-YU Narrator: Is Hiei really going to have his revenge on Kurama or is this just a really good bluff? And how will Hiei do it? Can Kurama survive? Will Singing Fox Demon ever stop tormenting Hiei? And what does Vegeta have to do with this? You can find the answers to these questions and more out in the sequel, "Hiei's Revenge: Is Hiei Gay?"
* Preview 4 next Episode * Yusuke: Hi Yusuke here. I don't know why I'm even doing this; I was barely in the 1st fic. So anyways, Hiei unexpectedly shows up from out of nowhere and then Vegeta steps in. Hey wait a minute this is a YU-YU fic not a DbZ fic! Oh well, anyway the authoress wants you to know that this fic isn't yaoi or shonenai or whatever cause she doesn't believe in that sort of crap. Hiei is just trying to get revenge on Kurama. So give the nice authoress lots of reviews so I can stop doing this-am I done now?
TSFD: With the 1st part.
5 minutes later *
Yusuke: Why do we have to do this again? Singing Fox Demon: Cause I couldn't afford to hire the original singer for your theme songs. Hiei: Hm, fine Yu-Yu Hakusho Gang Singing: . Marking off my legacy of worldly deeds
Tick, Tock, Tick ~Unfortunately Yusuke's singing sucks so bad everyone if forced to stop to cover there ears~ Hiei: SHUT UP YUSUKE!!!! Yusuke: What's the matter, don't you like my singing? (Sarcastically) Hiei: As a matter of fact I despise it, your worse than Kurama Kurama: Hey Singing Fox Demon: . Ok from no on Kurama's doing a solo Kurama: Yeah! (Singing) Constantly I think of things I can't complete
Well it's time to throw them into the back seat
Son Of a Gun! ~Evil Rabid Schizophrenic Fangirls from hell start chasing Kurama Kurama: HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Singing Fox Demon: OK looks like the I have to end this fic, better go help Kurama, Hiei go help Kurama! Hiei * eyes big & round in fear* ME, WHY ME, WHY NOT YOU?!?!? Singing Fox Demon: Cause I've got to talk the fans * pushes Hiei and fangirls immediately chase him * Send me reviews on how to do the sequel (or even just to do it). This was my first Yu-Yu fic so don't hurt me. If you liked it please review even if you just say Hi or something cause then I'll know just how many people want me to continue. If you didn't like it flame me I won't feel bad. I know it probably sux but it would be nice to get some new ideas or I might just not do it. Well anyhow, thanx for reading this fic and please read the sequel when/if it comes out. And remember to review or I won't do the 2nd. See ya 'round!
=) The Singing Fox Demon (; Kurama & Hiei: SAVE US!!!