Disclaimer: I don't own LoK so I don't own its characters either
______________________________________________________
[The scene is the Pillars because that the only place in Nosgoth that has a plug. Magnus is in a corner finishing up the 2nd chapter of his fic when Zephon walks over to see what Magnus is doing]
Zephon: What you doing Magnus?
Magnus: MAGNUS IS FINISHING MAGNUS' FIC!
Zephon: Why do you always speak in third person?
Magnus: MAGNUS DOESN'T KNOW WHAT ZEPHON IS TALKING ABOUT!
Zephon: Anyway, can I read this chapter?
Magnus: SURE.
(so Zephon reads the chapter)
Zephon: Wow, the smartest vampire even says really big words! How'd you manage to spell all of the smartest vampire's words correctly?
Magnus: MAGNUS GOT A HOBBO TO SPELL-CHECK THE BIG WORDS. MAGNUS SPELLED ALL THE OTHER WORDS RIGHT. MAGNUS THINKS.
Zephon: Hey, do you want any stuff?
Magnus: WHAT KIND OF STUFF?
Zephon: Stuff! You see, I got a plan. Dumah had been a real bunghole lately so I thought of something cool to do with him! Y'see, I'm gonna get stuff and put stuff in the stuff and throw the stuff that contains stuff at other stuff!
Magnus: WHAT THE HELL IS ZEPHON TALKING ABOUT?
Zephon: I'm talking about stuff! I love the word stuff, it's funny.
Magnus: DOES ZEPHON KNOW WHAT WORD IS FUNNIER?
Zephon: What?
Magnus: WAFFLE.
Zephon: Hahahaha, who came up with the word waffle anyway? You wanna know a
funny name?
Magnus: WHAT?
Zephon: Kainthrine Sue Mary
Kain: (from far away): Shut up Zephon!
Magnus: WELL, MAGNUS NEEDS TO SUBMIT THIS!
Zephon: Okay, just tell me if you need any stuff-filled stuff and I'll get the stuff for you.
Magnus: WHAT THE HELL IS THE IDIOT ZEPHON TALKING ABOUT?
Zephon: Stuff! Oh well, see ya.
(then Zephon walked away so he could get stuff. Magnus took this time to sign on to Fanfiction.Net and submitted the next chapter)
{Magnus' fanfic begins}
Dizclamer: Magnuz no owns LoK or eet's carakterz
_______________________________________________________________
[Well, last time on this storie Magnuz rescu'd the princess Kain and the duo of Magnuz, Melchiah, and princess Kain went to serch for the smartest vampir ever. The duo wer just leeving a forest and saw a casle]
Kain: Goodie, a casle. I need to tinkle-linkle.
Magnus: Than go first felow princess.
Melchiah: yes, galop liik the weend.
(then princess Kain ran into the casle. The braav hero Magnuz and his scwire waated outside)
Melchiah: Kain has a nise azz.
Magnus: Yes, but shee's a princess. You ar a scwire.
Melchiah: Oh, I kno. But shee's just so gorjous.
Magnus: Yes, she ees.
(then the too keeper's of the casle walked out. One had a "Mortanius Dee" tie on and the uther had an "Moebius Dum" tie on. The too walked up to Magnuz)
Mortanius Dee: Do yoo own a princess?
Magnus: yes.
Moebius Dum: Well, shee peeed in our closet.
Melchiah: Oh no, don't kil us!
Mortanius Dee: It would'nt hav bother'd us, but we wer trying to make out in ther.
Moebius Dum: Yeh, we wer having fun tooo!
Magnus: We are sory.
(then the princess Kain steped out of the casle and join'd Magnuz and Melchiah)
Mortanius Dee: We are afraad we haf to kil you now.
Moebius Dum: But don't hurt Mortanius Dee, he's my yummy man!
Melchiah: Magnuz, they want us ded. What now?
Magnus: Um...
(then the slutty princess Kain walk'd up to Mortanius Dee)
Kain: Would yoo 2 like to have a threee-some?
Moebius Dum: Well that sounds like a splendid idea!
Mortanius Dee: Yes, lets.
Kain: I am soo glad. Wait for me inside.
(then Mortanius Dee and Moebius Dum went inside and princess Kain spoke to Magnuz and Melchiah rite quik)
Kain: Yoo two go and find the smartest vampir wile I have slutty sex. Go yoo fools!
Magnus: God speed!
Melchiah: Wil yoo think of me when yoo ar having sex with them?
Kain: Of corse.
(then princess Kain givs Melchiah and kis then runs insiid the casle)
Melchiah: I mis her alredy.
Kain: Let us go.
Melchiah: Alrighty.
(so the braav duo of Magnuz and Melchiah ventur'd forth. They eventually caam to a casle that look'd like a library. The duo went inside and they saw the bak of a chair. The chair turn'd to fase the duo and the smartest vampir had on a sientists coat, triple-thik glasess and hair painted greeen and brown. The smatest vampir's name was...Zefon!)
Magnus: Ar yoo the smartest vampir ever?
Zephon: Yes, I Zefon, am the smartest vampir ever.
Melchiah: How smart ar yoo?
Zephon: I'msosmartthaticantalkreallyreallyfast. (snorts)
Melchiah: What?
Magnus: Let me translaat. He said that hee's so smart that he can talk really really fast.
Melchiah: Wow. My master's so smart and grate and I love my master.
Zephon: Wow, youseemtobereallypopular. (snorts)
Melchiah: What?
Zephon: I mightjusthavetojoinyouvampires. (snorts)
Magnus: Can yoo speke diff'rent languages?
Zephon: Of course! I can speak EnglishGermanRussianFrenchCanadianAlaskanAlBhedandShakespearean. (snorts)
Melchiah: What?
Magnus: Wil yoo join us?
Zephon: Surewhynot? Youvampiresseemtobereallysmart, especiallyyouMagnuz. (snorts)
Melchiah: Tooo fast.
(then princess Kain arivved)
Melchiah: Kain!
Kain: Melchiah!
(then they kised. Then Kain saw Zefon)
Kain: Hoo's the sexy vampir?
Zephon: Hello, mynameisZefon, what'syournameifanamereallymatters? (snorts)
Kain: Is this vampir gona join us?
Magnus: I think so.
Zephon: Of course I will, youvampiresaretrulyinspiring. (snorts)
Kain: Yay!
(then Kain tries to maak out with Zefon but Zefon stoped her)
Zephon: WemustleavequicklybecausetheChaosWizardiscoming! (snorts)
Kain: (short-circuit sound) What?
Melchiah: I cant understand neither.
Magnus: He said we neeed to leeve because the Chaos Wizard is coming!
(and so Magnuz, Melchiah, Kain, and Zefon ran out of the casle. They could'nt just run away, they would'nt go fast enuf)
Magnus: Now what?
Kain: Yes, save me Magnuz.
(then Kain clung to Magnuz)
Zephon: Ihaveanidea. Ihaveparkedamechanicalsheepathtesideofthecastle! (snorts)
Melchiah: What?
Magnus: He says that hee's park'd a mecanical sheeep at the side of the casle!
Kain: Let's go!
(then Kain clung to Melchiah and gaav Melchiah a kis for goood luck)
Melchiah: Let's go!
(then the Chaos Wizard arivved!)
Chaos Wizard: Hahahahahaha, I hav com to ravag this planet cal'd Pangaea!
(then Kain, Magnuz, Melchiah, and Zefon got on the sheep)
Magnus: But this planet isnt caled Pangaea!
Chaos Wizard: It isnt? Aw damn it! Oh wel, Il'l kil you vampir's anyway!
Magnus: Go sheeep!
(so Magnuz kiked the sheeep and the sheeep start'd walkin, but sinse it's a sheeep it would only go 6mph. Then Melchiah herd a noise)
Melchiah: Whats that ticking sound?
Chaos Wizard: (who was left behind) It's a bom! Hahaha, a time bom! I used my Chaos Magic to plaace a bom on your sheeep! If the sheeep goes less then 5mph yoo al explode and if yoo try to get off the sheeep, the sheeep wil explode, kiling you vampir's as wel!
(then the Chaos Wizard disapearred)
Zephon: Ohnothere'sabombonthesheep! (snorts)
Kain and Melchiah: What?
Magnus: Wher's the bom?
Melchiah: Don't kno. I neeed a drink.
(so Melchiah reached for a drink that was atached to the mecanical sheeep and the drink had som wires stiking out of it!)
All 4: AHHHHHHH!!!!
Melchiah: The bom's in the drink!
Kain: Its gona explode and kil us!
Zephon: I'll be being smart in hel! (snorts)
Melchiah: What do we do?
Zephon: Wecouldalwaysgetastrawanddrinkthedrinkaway! (snorts)
Magnus: (repeating him) Get a straw and drink the drink away? That could work!
Kain: Whyd I com back and help you vampir's?
Melchiah: Just get me a straw!
Magnus: The sheeeps starting to slow down!
Zephon: Ifoundawireinthedrink! Whichwiredowecut! (snorts)
Kain: What?
Magnus: Cut the greeen wire!
(Melchiah holds the wires. Theres a greeen wire, red wire, and blu wire)
Kain: Wich one's the greeen wire!?
Magnus: Its the one that loooks greeen.
Kain: They al loook greeen to me!
Zephon: Whydidijoinyouvampires? (snort)
Magnus: Just cut the wire!
Sheep: Baaah!
(then Melchiah cuts the greeen wire and the bom was extinguished)
Sheep: Baah!
Melchiah: The wire's cut!
Kain: Yay! My heros!
(then Kain gave Zefon a congratulations kis and made out with Melchiah)
Magnus: Wher to now?
Zephon: To find my partner Rahab. (snorts)
(so they rode off into the sunset)
______________________________________________________
Magnuz hopez yoo liked Magnuz's fic! Stay tuned for the next chapter!
{Magnus' fanfic ends}
[So the next day Magnus checks Fanfictin.Net and finds 7 new reviews! So Magnus checks them]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------
I_can_swim_you_can't (aka Rahab) SIGNED "Now why the hell was Zephon the smartest vampire ever!!? Zephon's a dumbass! Other than that part this was all good."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------
Banana_Pudding_Yummy (aka Zephon) SIGNED "Finally, someone understands my genius! Thank you Magnus!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------
TheJackass (aka Dumah) SIGNED "I said I wasn't gonna read this load of stupid, but I did and I regret it. Now I won't read again. P.S. When am I gonna be on?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------
I'mLikeALego (aka Melchiah) SIGNED "Wow, you still scare me. I'm never traveling with you. AND I'M NOT KAIN'S LOVER DAMN IT!!!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------
PopStar (aka Turel) SIGNED "Well, that was really good. One problem: Zephon's stupid."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------
TheSavior (aka Raziel) SIGNED "Wow. Just when I thought this couldn't get any stupider, it does. I'm now mentally scared and I think reading this made me dumber. Wow."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------
IruleYouSuck (aka Kain) SIGNED "Wanna hear my 'I Hate Magnus' song? Here it goes: 'I hate Magnus, I really really hate Magnus, I hate you Magnus'"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
3 (aka unknown) ANONYMOUS "3"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
[Then Magnus hunted down whoever it is that submits tons of reviews consisting of just a number a Magnus eats that person]
_______________________________________________________________________
Well, this just got weirder. And it's gonna get weirder because I have decided to let the reviewers decide what Rahab is gonna be like. People who review this chapter can decide how Rahab is gonna behave or what type of personality he has or even if he thinks he's a specific animal, it doesn't matter, anyone who reviews can throw out a suggestion (make sure it's weird though). So when you review, you can choose what Rahab will be like and I'll choose at random who's suggestion will be in the next chapter. See, this fic is kind of interactive. Well, until next time...
[The scene is the Pillars because that the only place in Nosgoth that has a plug. Magnus is in a corner finishing up the 2nd chapter of his fic when Zephon walks over to see what Magnus is doing]
Zephon: What you doing Magnus?
Magnus: MAGNUS IS FINISHING MAGNUS' FIC!
Zephon: Why do you always speak in third person?
Magnus: MAGNUS DOESN'T KNOW WHAT ZEPHON IS TALKING ABOUT!
Zephon: Anyway, can I read this chapter?
Magnus: SURE.
(so Zephon reads the chapter)
Zephon: Wow, the smartest vampire even says really big words! How'd you manage to spell all of the smartest vampire's words correctly?
Magnus: MAGNUS GOT A HOBBO TO SPELL-CHECK THE BIG WORDS. MAGNUS SPELLED ALL THE OTHER WORDS RIGHT. MAGNUS THINKS.
Zephon: Hey, do you want any stuff?
Magnus: WHAT KIND OF STUFF?
Zephon: Stuff! You see, I got a plan. Dumah had been a real bunghole lately so I thought of something cool to do with him! Y'see, I'm gonna get stuff and put stuff in the stuff and throw the stuff that contains stuff at other stuff!
Magnus: WHAT THE HELL IS ZEPHON TALKING ABOUT?
Zephon: I'm talking about stuff! I love the word stuff, it's funny.
Magnus: DOES ZEPHON KNOW WHAT WORD IS FUNNIER?
Zephon: What?
Magnus: WAFFLE.
Zephon: Hahahaha, who came up with the word waffle anyway? You wanna know a
funny name?
Magnus: WHAT?
Zephon: Kainthrine Sue Mary
Kain: (from far away): Shut up Zephon!
Magnus: WELL, MAGNUS NEEDS TO SUBMIT THIS!
Zephon: Okay, just tell me if you need any stuff-filled stuff and I'll get the stuff for you.
Magnus: WHAT THE HELL IS THE IDIOT ZEPHON TALKING ABOUT?
Zephon: Stuff! Oh well, see ya.
(then Zephon walked away so he could get stuff. Magnus took this time to sign on to Fanfiction.Net and submitted the next chapter)
{Magnus' fanfic begins}
Dizclamer: Magnuz no owns LoK or eet's carakterz
_______________________________________________________________
[Well, last time on this storie Magnuz rescu'd the princess Kain and the duo of Magnuz, Melchiah, and princess Kain went to serch for the smartest vampir ever. The duo wer just leeving a forest and saw a casle]
Kain: Goodie, a casle. I need to tinkle-linkle.
Magnus: Than go first felow princess.
Melchiah: yes, galop liik the weend.
(then princess Kain ran into the casle. The braav hero Magnuz and his scwire waated outside)
Melchiah: Kain has a nise azz.
Magnus: Yes, but shee's a princess. You ar a scwire.
Melchiah: Oh, I kno. But shee's just so gorjous.
Magnus: Yes, she ees.
(then the too keeper's of the casle walked out. One had a "Mortanius Dee" tie on and the uther had an "Moebius Dum" tie on. The too walked up to Magnuz)
Mortanius Dee: Do yoo own a princess?
Magnus: yes.
Moebius Dum: Well, shee peeed in our closet.
Melchiah: Oh no, don't kil us!
Mortanius Dee: It would'nt hav bother'd us, but we wer trying to make out in ther.
Moebius Dum: Yeh, we wer having fun tooo!
Magnus: We are sory.
(then the princess Kain steped out of the casle and join'd Magnuz and Melchiah)
Mortanius Dee: We are afraad we haf to kil you now.
Moebius Dum: But don't hurt Mortanius Dee, he's my yummy man!
Melchiah: Magnuz, they want us ded. What now?
Magnus: Um...
(then the slutty princess Kain walk'd up to Mortanius Dee)
Kain: Would yoo 2 like to have a threee-some?
Moebius Dum: Well that sounds like a splendid idea!
Mortanius Dee: Yes, lets.
Kain: I am soo glad. Wait for me inside.
(then Mortanius Dee and Moebius Dum went inside and princess Kain spoke to Magnuz and Melchiah rite quik)
Kain: Yoo two go and find the smartest vampir wile I have slutty sex. Go yoo fools!
Magnus: God speed!
Melchiah: Wil yoo think of me when yoo ar having sex with them?
Kain: Of corse.
(then princess Kain givs Melchiah and kis then runs insiid the casle)
Melchiah: I mis her alredy.
Kain: Let us go.
Melchiah: Alrighty.
(so the braav duo of Magnuz and Melchiah ventur'd forth. They eventually caam to a casle that look'd like a library. The duo went inside and they saw the bak of a chair. The chair turn'd to fase the duo and the smartest vampir had on a sientists coat, triple-thik glasess and hair painted greeen and brown. The smatest vampir's name was...Zefon!)
Magnus: Ar yoo the smartest vampir ever?
Zephon: Yes, I Zefon, am the smartest vampir ever.
Melchiah: How smart ar yoo?
Zephon: I'msosmartthaticantalkreallyreallyfast. (snorts)
Melchiah: What?
Magnus: Let me translaat. He said that hee's so smart that he can talk really really fast.
Melchiah: Wow. My master's so smart and grate and I love my master.
Zephon: Wow, youseemtobereallypopular. (snorts)
Melchiah: What?
Zephon: I mightjusthavetojoinyouvampires. (snorts)
Magnus: Can yoo speke diff'rent languages?
Zephon: Of course! I can speak EnglishGermanRussianFrenchCanadianAlaskanAlBhedandShakespearean. (snorts)
Melchiah: What?
Magnus: Wil yoo join us?
Zephon: Surewhynot? Youvampiresseemtobereallysmart, especiallyyouMagnuz. (snorts)
Melchiah: Tooo fast.
(then princess Kain arivved)
Melchiah: Kain!
Kain: Melchiah!
(then they kised. Then Kain saw Zefon)
Kain: Hoo's the sexy vampir?
Zephon: Hello, mynameisZefon, what'syournameifanamereallymatters? (snorts)
Kain: Is this vampir gona join us?
Magnus: I think so.
Zephon: Of course I will, youvampiresaretrulyinspiring. (snorts)
Kain: Yay!
(then Kain tries to maak out with Zefon but Zefon stoped her)
Zephon: WemustleavequicklybecausetheChaosWizardiscoming! (snorts)
Kain: (short-circuit sound) What?
Melchiah: I cant understand neither.
Magnus: He said we neeed to leeve because the Chaos Wizard is coming!
(and so Magnuz, Melchiah, Kain, and Zefon ran out of the casle. They could'nt just run away, they would'nt go fast enuf)
Magnus: Now what?
Kain: Yes, save me Magnuz.
(then Kain clung to Magnuz)
Zephon: Ihaveanidea. Ihaveparkedamechanicalsheepathtesideofthecastle! (snorts)
Melchiah: What?
Magnus: He says that hee's park'd a mecanical sheeep at the side of the casle!
Kain: Let's go!
(then Kain clung to Melchiah and gaav Melchiah a kis for goood luck)
Melchiah: Let's go!
(then the Chaos Wizard arivved!)
Chaos Wizard: Hahahahahaha, I hav com to ravag this planet cal'd Pangaea!
(then Kain, Magnuz, Melchiah, and Zefon got on the sheep)
Magnus: But this planet isnt caled Pangaea!
Chaos Wizard: It isnt? Aw damn it! Oh wel, Il'l kil you vampir's anyway!
Magnus: Go sheeep!
(so Magnuz kiked the sheeep and the sheeep start'd walkin, but sinse it's a sheeep it would only go 6mph. Then Melchiah herd a noise)
Melchiah: Whats that ticking sound?
Chaos Wizard: (who was left behind) It's a bom! Hahaha, a time bom! I used my Chaos Magic to plaace a bom on your sheeep! If the sheeep goes less then 5mph yoo al explode and if yoo try to get off the sheeep, the sheeep wil explode, kiling you vampir's as wel!
(then the Chaos Wizard disapearred)
Zephon: Ohnothere'sabombonthesheep! (snorts)
Kain and Melchiah: What?
Magnus: Wher's the bom?
Melchiah: Don't kno. I neeed a drink.
(so Melchiah reached for a drink that was atached to the mecanical sheeep and the drink had som wires stiking out of it!)
All 4: AHHHHHHH!!!!
Melchiah: The bom's in the drink!
Kain: Its gona explode and kil us!
Zephon: I'll be being smart in hel! (snorts)
Melchiah: What do we do?
Zephon: Wecouldalwaysgetastrawanddrinkthedrinkaway! (snorts)
Magnus: (repeating him) Get a straw and drink the drink away? That could work!
Kain: Whyd I com back and help you vampir's?
Melchiah: Just get me a straw!
Magnus: The sheeeps starting to slow down!
Zephon: Ifoundawireinthedrink! Whichwiredowecut! (snorts)
Kain: What?
Magnus: Cut the greeen wire!
(Melchiah holds the wires. Theres a greeen wire, red wire, and blu wire)
Kain: Wich one's the greeen wire!?
Magnus: Its the one that loooks greeen.
Kain: They al loook greeen to me!
Zephon: Whydidijoinyouvampires? (snort)
Magnus: Just cut the wire!
Sheep: Baaah!
(then Melchiah cuts the greeen wire and the bom was extinguished)
Sheep: Baah!
Melchiah: The wire's cut!
Kain: Yay! My heros!
(then Kain gave Zefon a congratulations kis and made out with Melchiah)
Magnus: Wher to now?
Zephon: To find my partner Rahab. (snorts)
(so they rode off into the sunset)
______________________________________________________
Magnuz hopez yoo liked Magnuz's fic! Stay tuned for the next chapter!
{Magnus' fanfic ends}
[So the next day Magnus checks Fanfictin.Net and finds 7 new reviews! So Magnus checks them]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------
I_can_swim_you_can't (aka Rahab) SIGNED "Now why the hell was Zephon the smartest vampire ever!!? Zephon's a dumbass! Other than that part this was all good."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------
Banana_Pudding_Yummy (aka Zephon) SIGNED "Finally, someone understands my genius! Thank you Magnus!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------
TheJackass (aka Dumah) SIGNED "I said I wasn't gonna read this load of stupid, but I did and I regret it. Now I won't read again. P.S. When am I gonna be on?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------
I'mLikeALego (aka Melchiah) SIGNED "Wow, you still scare me. I'm never traveling with you. AND I'M NOT KAIN'S LOVER DAMN IT!!!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------
PopStar (aka Turel) SIGNED "Well, that was really good. One problem: Zephon's stupid."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------
TheSavior (aka Raziel) SIGNED "Wow. Just when I thought this couldn't get any stupider, it does. I'm now mentally scared and I think reading this made me dumber. Wow."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------
IruleYouSuck (aka Kain) SIGNED "Wanna hear my 'I Hate Magnus' song? Here it goes: 'I hate Magnus, I really really hate Magnus, I hate you Magnus'"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
3 (aka unknown) ANONYMOUS "3"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
[Then Magnus hunted down whoever it is that submits tons of reviews consisting of just a number a Magnus eats that person]
_______________________________________________________________________
Well, this just got weirder. And it's gonna get weirder because I have decided to let the reviewers decide what Rahab is gonna be like. People who review this chapter can decide how Rahab is gonna behave or what type of personality he has or even if he thinks he's a specific animal, it doesn't matter, anyone who reviews can throw out a suggestion (make sure it's weird though). So when you review, you can choose what Rahab will be like and I'll choose at random who's suggestion will be in the next chapter. See, this fic is kind of interactive. Well, until next time...