Disclaimer: Why do I still write this? I dunno
______________________________________________
A/N: Today's random winner is DigitalJessie!
[The scene is the Pillars and Magnus was carrying his computer cause he was going to plug it up and finish his fanfic when Dumah came running up to him. Dumah was holding 10-feet worth of papers]
Dumah: Hello my friend Magnus, can I interest you in a loan offer?
Magnus: A WHAT?
Dumah: A loan offer. How's your current loan?
Magnus: WELL HOW IN THE HOLE OF HECK SHOULD MAGNUS KNOW?
Dumah: It's probably really bad, that's why I'm here. I got a job at a loan office.
Magnus: (sarcastically) WHOOPDY-FRICKEN-DOO!
Dumah: Well, how about signing for a loan in case something bad happens to your computer?
Magnus: FINE, IF DUMAH'LL LEAVE MAGNUS THE HECK ALONE!
Dumah: Super-uber! Here, sign all these papers!
Magnus: (sees the mountain of papers) NOW MAGNUS MAY NOT BE TOTALLY SANE, BUT MAGNUS AIN'T A DUMBASS!
Dumah: Oh, come on.
Magnus: FINE! DOESN'T MAGNUS GET SOME KIND OF SPECIAL DISCOUNT THOUGH!?
Dumah: Oh yeah.
(Dumah gives all the tons of papers to Magnus then Dumah pulls the next to bottom sheet out quickly, making the other papers fly everywhere)
Dumah: It's like Jenga! Tell me when you're done applying!
(then Dumah runs off)
Magnus: IF DUMAH WEREN'T SO NASTY THEN MAGNUS WOULD BITE DUMAH ON THE ASS! ARGHHHHHH!!
(then Razzyboy walks up)
Raziel: It's Raziel. Anyway, anything wrong Magnus?
Magnus: THIS IS TO MUCH TO SIGN FOR A FRICKIN' LOAN!!
Raziel: Oh, uber-super! If you sign a loan with me, you'll just have to sign and be done with it. It's that easy.
Magnus: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?
Raziel: I'm with DiTech!
Magnus: HOT DAMN, MAGNUS IS GOING WITH DITECH!!
Raziel: That's fantastic!
(so Magnus signed one paper and was done and he left. When Dumah came back,
Raziel was still there)
Dumah: What happened?
Raziel: (proudly) He signed up with DiTech!
Dumah: MONKEY BITCH, I'VE LOST ANOTHER LOAN TO DITECH!!
Raziel: Hahahahahaha!
Dumah: I'll kill you!
(so while Dumah chased Raziel, Magnus got done with his fic and posted it to Fanfiction.Net and Dumah went off to try to eat Dumah for giving him a crummy loan offer)
{[ Magnus' Fanfic Begins]}
Deesclaamer: Mine do'nt own anething, do'nt su me!!
_____________________________________________________________________
[The sene beegins wer we left offf with Magnuz and Rahab walkin down a coridor and unbenownst to them, the scary ghost was folowing them!]
Rahab: I luv kising yoor ass Magnuz!
Magnus: What!?
Rahab: As in kising up to yoo! Yoo're so awsome I'd let yoo hav me if yoo want'd.
Magnus: Um, no thanks.
Rahab: I LUV MAGNUZ, HE KIKS THE MOSTEST BUTT, GO MAGNUZ!!
Magnus: (roles hees I's)
Scary Ghost: Arrrghhhhh!!
Magnus and Rahab: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Scary Ghost: Argh!
Magnus and Rahab: AHHHHHHHHH!!
Scary Ghost: Argh?
Magnus: Um, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Rahab: (pointin'g to Magnuz) Wat hee said!
Scary Ghost: Arghh!!
(so Magnuz and Rahab run as fast as they can and then they get separate'd and Rahab runs out in the open and meeets Zefon, Melchiah, and Kain ther tooo)
Melchiah: Hey, wer's Magnuz?
Rahab: I do'nt no!
Kain: I wonder if the scary ghost is sexy?
Zephon: Youaresuchaslutthatit'spathetic. (snorts)
Melchiah: Magnuz, wher ar yoo!?
(then the scary ghost foound Melchiah, Zefon, Rahab, and Kain and the scary ghost corner'd them)
Rahab: Oh no, im reely scared! Magnuz, safe us!!
Kain: (to Melchiah) Just beefor we die, I want yoo to know that I almost liik yoo.
Melchiah: ALMOST!?
Zephon: Stopbickeringaboutstupidstupidstuffcausewe'regonnadie! (snorts)
Scary Ghost: Arghh!!
(and then som mask'd marvel droped in from abuv. This super-hero was dresed as a duck!)
Turel: Helo Moto! I am Ducky Man!
Kain: (seductively) Who?
Turel: Devil Duckie, you're the one, You make bathtime lots of fun, Devil Duckie, I'm awfully dirty today. Devil Duckie, when you float, It's like I'm bathing in a flaming moat! Devil Duckie, you're my very best frie-
Zephon: Whatthehellareyoudoing!? (snorts)
Turel: Im just singing my theme song!
Melchiah: Wel, could yoo pleese safe us from the scary ghost!!
Turel: Oh, okay!
Scary Ghost: Arghh!
Turel: Ha! (Turel puls out a ruber ducky)
Scary Ghost: Gargh?
Turel: Catch!
(Turel throu the ruber ducky but the ducky did'nt bounc)
Rahab: How wil that help? WE NEEED YOO MAGNUZ, WE HAV NEEEDS!
Turel: Yoo see, that help'd becus any normal ducky wouldv'e bounc'd but this one did'nt, meeening its singled out and thats sad, so whiil the scary ghost cries about it, we escaap!
Melchiah: That is the stupidest thing ive ever heerd.
Scary Ghost: Pooor ducky. Bwaaaaaaaaaaa!!
(the scary ghost starts crying)
Turel: Seee?
Melchiah: Wel Il'l be dammed up and down.
Kain: Hey, the ruber ducky's sexy.
Turel: I haat to seee scary ghosts cry. Hey, scary ghost, watch this!
Scary Ghost: (crying) What?
(Turel waavs his hands around and sudenly the ruber ducky can bounc again!)
Scary Ghost: Yay!
Turel: I luv helpin people and making ducks bouncy.
Scary Ghost: Now that I kno this ducky wo'nt be singled out, im not sad anymor wich means I can start trying to kil yoo vampir's again!
Turel: Yay! Whoop-oh sheet!
Melchiah: I haat yoo Ducky Man.
Rahab: Magnuz, safe us!!
(then Magnuz braavly sneeks up behind the ghost and he grabbs the ghost)
Rahab: Yay, Magnuz haz com to safe us!! I always beleved in yoo Magnuz!!
Kain: Hey, Ducky Man's duck costum loooks sexy.
Magnus: Now lets seee who this scary ghost reelly is!
(and Magnuz puled offf the scary ghost's mask and the scary ghost was reelly just an old man disgised as a scary ghost!)
Melchiah: Its old man Smithers!!
Zephon: Who? (snorts)
Melchiah: I do'nt kno.
Old Man Smithers: Wel, how'd yoo kno it was me?
Magnuz: We do'nt even kno who yoo are!!
Turel: Loooks liik I saved the day!
Kain: Thanks yoo for safing the day! Can we maak out!?
Melchiah: (frustrated) AHHHH!!!
Old Man Smithers: Yay, Ducky Man safed the day!!
Magnuz: Hoooray!
Rahab: Magnuz can do it!
Melchiah: Kain does'nt luv me!
(then whil everyone cheeered, Melchiah sulk'd in a corner)
Melchiah: Com on, Kain stil liiks us.
Evil Side of Melchiah: No she does'nt, she betry'd us!
Melchiah: No she did'nt!
Evil Side of Melchiah: Yess she did, she betray'd us! That's becus we are no goood.
Melchiah: (covering hees ears) Im not listenin!
Evil Side of Melchiah: Yoo must lisen, yoo cant liv without me.
Melchiah: We do'nt need yoo!
Evil Side of Melchiah: What?
Melchiah: We do'nt need yoo!
Evil Side of Mlechiah: What?
Melchiah: Go away, we do'nt need yoo!
(silence)
Melchiah: Yess!! He gon away, I do'nt need heem! Kain stil liiks me! Hoooray!
(and so they al leeve in Turel's Duck-Mobile to serch for the Great Holy Meat)
_________________________________________________________________
Magnus hopes yoo've liik'd this chapter and if yoo did'nt Magnus wil hunt yoo down and eat yoo. Wel, until further notice...
{[Magnus' Fanfic Ends]}
[The next day, Magnus found that he had 5 new reviews and here are the reviews]
-----------------------
I_can_swim_you_can't (aka Rahab) SIGNED "Um, this was stupid. Yeah. Very, very stupid. At least I'm not badly insulted though."
----------------------
---------------------
Banana_Pudding_Yummy (aka Zephon) SIGNED "Well, this is just the best fic ever! I mean, it's about time somebody realized I was a genius. Everyone thinks I'm stupid just because I shot myself in the butt with a BB Gun and I cried!"
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--------------------
DiTech_Sucks (aka Dumah) SIGNED "Damn it, DiTech sucks!!!!" =(
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TheSavior (aka Raziel) SIGNED "I am entering this into the Nosgoth Book of Records as the dumbest fic ever. Some humans read this fic and died because this fic is so stupid."
-----------------
----------------
IruleYouSuck (aka Kain) SIGNED "Next time I see you Magnus, make sure to remind me to give you a good ass- kicking!"
--------------
_________________________________________________________________
Well, it took me a while but I finally got this next chapter up. And the next chapter will feature Dumah and Raziel on a mission. And you, the reviewers, can offer a mission for them, but it's got to be something mundane, some everyday kind of activity that anyone could do. For example, their mission could be to "Get their car washed" or to "Get dressed", just make sure it's some extremely everyday type of task and I'll make sure that they're so stupid that they have a hard time doing so. Remember, just some plain and ordinary task. Hope you liked this chapter, don't forget to review.
______________________________________________
A/N: Today's random winner is DigitalJessie!
[The scene is the Pillars and Magnus was carrying his computer cause he was going to plug it up and finish his fanfic when Dumah came running up to him. Dumah was holding 10-feet worth of papers]
Dumah: Hello my friend Magnus, can I interest you in a loan offer?
Magnus: A WHAT?
Dumah: A loan offer. How's your current loan?
Magnus: WELL HOW IN THE HOLE OF HECK SHOULD MAGNUS KNOW?
Dumah: It's probably really bad, that's why I'm here. I got a job at a loan office.
Magnus: (sarcastically) WHOOPDY-FRICKEN-DOO!
Dumah: Well, how about signing for a loan in case something bad happens to your computer?
Magnus: FINE, IF DUMAH'LL LEAVE MAGNUS THE HECK ALONE!
Dumah: Super-uber! Here, sign all these papers!
Magnus: (sees the mountain of papers) NOW MAGNUS MAY NOT BE TOTALLY SANE, BUT MAGNUS AIN'T A DUMBASS!
Dumah: Oh, come on.
Magnus: FINE! DOESN'T MAGNUS GET SOME KIND OF SPECIAL DISCOUNT THOUGH!?
Dumah: Oh yeah.
(Dumah gives all the tons of papers to Magnus then Dumah pulls the next to bottom sheet out quickly, making the other papers fly everywhere)
Dumah: It's like Jenga! Tell me when you're done applying!
(then Dumah runs off)
Magnus: IF DUMAH WEREN'T SO NASTY THEN MAGNUS WOULD BITE DUMAH ON THE ASS! ARGHHHHHH!!
(then Razzyboy walks up)
Raziel: It's Raziel. Anyway, anything wrong Magnus?
Magnus: THIS IS TO MUCH TO SIGN FOR A FRICKIN' LOAN!!
Raziel: Oh, uber-super! If you sign a loan with me, you'll just have to sign and be done with it. It's that easy.
Magnus: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?
Raziel: I'm with DiTech!
Magnus: HOT DAMN, MAGNUS IS GOING WITH DITECH!!
Raziel: That's fantastic!
(so Magnus signed one paper and was done and he left. When Dumah came back,
Raziel was still there)
Dumah: What happened?
Raziel: (proudly) He signed up with DiTech!
Dumah: MONKEY BITCH, I'VE LOST ANOTHER LOAN TO DITECH!!
Raziel: Hahahahahaha!
Dumah: I'll kill you!
(so while Dumah chased Raziel, Magnus got done with his fic and posted it to Fanfiction.Net and Dumah went off to try to eat Dumah for giving him a crummy loan offer)
{[ Magnus' Fanfic Begins]}
Deesclaamer: Mine do'nt own anething, do'nt su me!!
_____________________________________________________________________
[The sene beegins wer we left offf with Magnuz and Rahab walkin down a coridor and unbenownst to them, the scary ghost was folowing them!]
Rahab: I luv kising yoor ass Magnuz!
Magnus: What!?
Rahab: As in kising up to yoo! Yoo're so awsome I'd let yoo hav me if yoo want'd.
Magnus: Um, no thanks.
Rahab: I LUV MAGNUZ, HE KIKS THE MOSTEST BUTT, GO MAGNUZ!!
Magnus: (roles hees I's)
Scary Ghost: Arrrghhhhh!!
Magnus and Rahab: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Scary Ghost: Argh!
Magnus and Rahab: AHHHHHHHHH!!
Scary Ghost: Argh?
Magnus: Um, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Rahab: (pointin'g to Magnuz) Wat hee said!
Scary Ghost: Arghh!!
(so Magnuz and Rahab run as fast as they can and then they get separate'd and Rahab runs out in the open and meeets Zefon, Melchiah, and Kain ther tooo)
Melchiah: Hey, wer's Magnuz?
Rahab: I do'nt no!
Kain: I wonder if the scary ghost is sexy?
Zephon: Youaresuchaslutthatit'spathetic. (snorts)
Melchiah: Magnuz, wher ar yoo!?
(then the scary ghost foound Melchiah, Zefon, Rahab, and Kain and the scary ghost corner'd them)
Rahab: Oh no, im reely scared! Magnuz, safe us!!
Kain: (to Melchiah) Just beefor we die, I want yoo to know that I almost liik yoo.
Melchiah: ALMOST!?
Zephon: Stopbickeringaboutstupidstupidstuffcausewe'regonnadie! (snorts)
Scary Ghost: Arghh!!
(and then som mask'd marvel droped in from abuv. This super-hero was dresed as a duck!)
Turel: Helo Moto! I am Ducky Man!
Kain: (seductively) Who?
Turel: Devil Duckie, you're the one, You make bathtime lots of fun, Devil Duckie, I'm awfully dirty today. Devil Duckie, when you float, It's like I'm bathing in a flaming moat! Devil Duckie, you're my very best frie-
Zephon: Whatthehellareyoudoing!? (snorts)
Turel: Im just singing my theme song!
Melchiah: Wel, could yoo pleese safe us from the scary ghost!!
Turel: Oh, okay!
Scary Ghost: Arghh!
Turel: Ha! (Turel puls out a ruber ducky)
Scary Ghost: Gargh?
Turel: Catch!
(Turel throu the ruber ducky but the ducky did'nt bounc)
Rahab: How wil that help? WE NEEED YOO MAGNUZ, WE HAV NEEEDS!
Turel: Yoo see, that help'd becus any normal ducky wouldv'e bounc'd but this one did'nt, meeening its singled out and thats sad, so whiil the scary ghost cries about it, we escaap!
Melchiah: That is the stupidest thing ive ever heerd.
Scary Ghost: Pooor ducky. Bwaaaaaaaaaaa!!
(the scary ghost starts crying)
Turel: Seee?
Melchiah: Wel Il'l be dammed up and down.
Kain: Hey, the ruber ducky's sexy.
Turel: I haat to seee scary ghosts cry. Hey, scary ghost, watch this!
Scary Ghost: (crying) What?
(Turel waavs his hands around and sudenly the ruber ducky can bounc again!)
Scary Ghost: Yay!
Turel: I luv helpin people and making ducks bouncy.
Scary Ghost: Now that I kno this ducky wo'nt be singled out, im not sad anymor wich means I can start trying to kil yoo vampir's again!
Turel: Yay! Whoop-oh sheet!
Melchiah: I haat yoo Ducky Man.
Rahab: Magnuz, safe us!!
(then Magnuz braavly sneeks up behind the ghost and he grabbs the ghost)
Rahab: Yay, Magnuz haz com to safe us!! I always beleved in yoo Magnuz!!
Kain: Hey, Ducky Man's duck costum loooks sexy.
Magnus: Now lets seee who this scary ghost reelly is!
(and Magnuz puled offf the scary ghost's mask and the scary ghost was reelly just an old man disgised as a scary ghost!)
Melchiah: Its old man Smithers!!
Zephon: Who? (snorts)
Melchiah: I do'nt kno.
Old Man Smithers: Wel, how'd yoo kno it was me?
Magnuz: We do'nt even kno who yoo are!!
Turel: Loooks liik I saved the day!
Kain: Thanks yoo for safing the day! Can we maak out!?
Melchiah: (frustrated) AHHHH!!!
Old Man Smithers: Yay, Ducky Man safed the day!!
Magnuz: Hoooray!
Rahab: Magnuz can do it!
Melchiah: Kain does'nt luv me!
(then whil everyone cheeered, Melchiah sulk'd in a corner)
Melchiah: Com on, Kain stil liiks us.
Evil Side of Melchiah: No she does'nt, she betry'd us!
Melchiah: No she did'nt!
Evil Side of Melchiah: Yess she did, she betray'd us! That's becus we are no goood.
Melchiah: (covering hees ears) Im not listenin!
Evil Side of Melchiah: Yoo must lisen, yoo cant liv without me.
Melchiah: We do'nt need yoo!
Evil Side of Melchiah: What?
Melchiah: We do'nt need yoo!
Evil Side of Mlechiah: What?
Melchiah: Go away, we do'nt need yoo!
(silence)
Melchiah: Yess!! He gon away, I do'nt need heem! Kain stil liiks me! Hoooray!
(and so they al leeve in Turel's Duck-Mobile to serch for the Great Holy Meat)
_________________________________________________________________
Magnus hopes yoo've liik'd this chapter and if yoo did'nt Magnus wil hunt yoo down and eat yoo. Wel, until further notice...
{[Magnus' Fanfic Ends]}
[The next day, Magnus found that he had 5 new reviews and here are the reviews]
-----------------------
I_can_swim_you_can't (aka Rahab) SIGNED "Um, this was stupid. Yeah. Very, very stupid. At least I'm not badly insulted though."
----------------------
---------------------
Banana_Pudding_Yummy (aka Zephon) SIGNED "Well, this is just the best fic ever! I mean, it's about time somebody realized I was a genius. Everyone thinks I'm stupid just because I shot myself in the butt with a BB Gun and I cried!"
--------------------
--------------------
DiTech_Sucks (aka Dumah) SIGNED "Damn it, DiTech sucks!!!!" =(
------------------
------------------
TheSavior (aka Raziel) SIGNED "I am entering this into the Nosgoth Book of Records as the dumbest fic ever. Some humans read this fic and died because this fic is so stupid."
-----------------
----------------
IruleYouSuck (aka Kain) SIGNED "Next time I see you Magnus, make sure to remind me to give you a good ass- kicking!"
--------------
_________________________________________________________________
Well, it took me a while but I finally got this next chapter up. And the next chapter will feature Dumah and Raziel on a mission. And you, the reviewers, can offer a mission for them, but it's got to be something mundane, some everyday kind of activity that anyone could do. For example, their mission could be to "Get their car washed" or to "Get dressed", just make sure it's some extremely everyday type of task and I'll make sure that they're so stupid that they have a hard time doing so. Remember, just some plain and ordinary task. Hope you liked this chapter, don't forget to review.