Disclaimer: I don't own LoK or its characters
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A/N: The random winner for this chapter is AkikoStar! And that was a good suggestion, seeing as how Razzyboy and Dumah don't know how to open doors! (man, the nickname Razzyboy that I came up with has been getting really popular. At least, I think I was the first to use it)
[The scene opens up at a government press conference and there's a government official speaking to other government officials]
Gov. Official: Today I have called all you officials here so we can fight an extreme danger. And that danger is video games.
German Official: Hail Hitler!
Gov. Official: Excuse me, but shut up! Anyway, video games are getting too violent these days. You can find the kind of violence in video games that you can in R-rated movies, and that's just bad!
German Official: Hail Hitler!
Gov. Official: German Official, shut up! Back to the point, adults like us whine about the video games because we don't play them, even if they are like R-rated movies. And we don't bitch about them because we watch them!
German Official: Hail Hitler!
British Official: Shut you're dirty mouth ya tosser!
Gov. Official: Back to the point! Video games are too violent! They need to be less violent and more lovable by the whole family like Mario! So I hereby ban Mature rated video games like Legacy of Kain series and Grand Theft Auto: Vice City from Nosgoth and all the world!
(all the officials were cheering then Kain and Magnus walked into the room wearing tuxedos. Kain and Magnus walked up to the government official)
Kain: Are you the one protesting and banning Mature rated games?
Gov. Official: Yes because they corrupt children! Mature rated games are garbage that must be eradicated! Help join the fight against video games today!
(then Kain punches the Gov. Official in the face as hard as he could, almost knocking the Gov. Official out. Then Magnus chewed on the Gov. Official. Then Magnus stood behind Kain and Kain and Magnus looked at the people reading this fic right now)
Kain: Please people, help us fight video game protesters like this little sissypiss and join the "Video Games Forever" movement!
Magnus: SISSYPISS? MEAT!
(then Tommy Vercetti walks in)
Tommy: (to Gov. Official) Hey, I heard the stupid crap you were saying about me!
(then Tommy Vercetti kicked the Gov. Official)
Tommy: (to Kain) Hey Kain, wanna go kill some innocent civilians?
Kain: Damn straight! Let's go!
(then Kain and Tommy leave)
Magnus: MAGNUS NO LIKE GOV. OFFICIAL! MEAT!
(so after Magnus ate the Gov. Official he submitted the next chapter for his story)
{Magnus' fanfic begins}
Dizzclaamer: Magnus no own LoK or it is carakterz
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[The sene is outsiid of Wal-Mart and Razzyboy and Duma hav just walk'd up to the otomatic dooors, but they arn't close enuff for the dooors to open]
Raziel: My god! The dooors!
Dumah: Wat do we do!?!?
Raziel: Duma, thees dooors must stay dead!
Dumah: Wat ar yoo talking about?
Raziel: Sory. Flashback.
(then sumone walk'd up to the dooor and the dooor otomaticaly open'd. Razzyboy and Duma wached on in amaazment)
Raziel: Now how in Lucifer's hotdogs did he do that?
Dumah: Yeh, he open'd the dreaded dooor by magik.
Raziel: We must get in!!
(so they step'd forward and the dooor otomaticaly open'd. Razzyboy and Duma wer in incredibl shok)
Raziel: WOW!!
Dumah: The dooor. It open'd!
Raziel: THE DOOOR OPEN'D!
Dumah: Haliluya!
(they wer so excit'd that they hugg'd and proposed a weding, but they turn'd eech other down. They wern't redy for that kiind of comitment. So they walk'd into the dooor and they thought they wer going blind)
Raziel: AHH! Wat's that horible radiation thats blinding us?
Dumah: Ah, I think I feeel myself going sterile!
Moebius (a Wal-Mart employee): That "horible radiation" is the light bulb on the ceiling.
Raziel: Light bulb?
Moebius: Yeh. Yoo presss a swich and light coms on.
Dumah: Yoo can do that?
Raziel: Ar yoo a god?
(Razzyboy and Duma looks stupidly at Moebius)
Moebius: Um...YES!! I AM THE GOD OF SEX!
Raziel: If hes the god of sex and can also magiklly maak light appear then sex equals light!
Dumah: Wel pinch my man-titties!
[Meanwile, back in the DuckMobile, Kain and Melchiah wer...smothering eech other and Magnus was seeeing how many licks it took to get to the center of a toootsi-pop wile Rahab admir'd him, Turel was makin duck balloons and Zefon was going over plans to kil the idiots]
Magnus: 5 licks...
Rahab: 5 licks sir!
Magnus: 6 licks...
Rahab: Um, 91 licks I think? I've forgoten. Im so proud to be here wile yoo taak on this daunting task of the number of licks! Yoo're so braav! Ive got to admiir yoor balls!
Kain: (this gets Princess Kain's attention) Did sumone say sumthing?
Turel: Duckies ar yellow! YELLOW'S COOOL! Viva la duckies!
Kain: Duckies ar sexy too!
Melchiah: Wat about me?
Kain: Yoo haav very sexy toenails!
Melchiah: I AM THE TOENAIL KING!
(Zefon bends over in his seat and fiinds sumthing)
Zephon: HeylookwhatIfound! (snorts)
(It turns out that Zefon found a high-power'd gun. Wen he loook'd bac up, all the others wer hiding sumwere)
Zephon: Wowtheseguysaren'tasstupidasIthought! (snorts)
[Bac at Wal-Mart, Moebius was busying admiring hisself wile Razzyboy and Duma serched for milk and cookies. They wer serching random shelves]
Dumah: Hey, wat's this? Is this coookies?
(Duma hands Razzyboy a pear of pantyhose)
Raziel: It loooks liik coookies. No waat, thees ar hats!
(so Razzyboy and Duma put the pear of pantyhoses on their heds)
Dumah: I feeel dashing!
Raziel: I feeel sensuous!
Dumah: Lets keeep loooking.
(so razzyboy and Duma wander'd around Wal-Mart wearing a pair of pantyhoses on their heds. Then Duma spots a fire-escape dooor)
Dumah: Another dooor! Lets open it the way we open'd the front dooor!
(so Duma ran hed-first into the fiir-escape dooor, hurting his hed badly, but the dooor slamm'd open and the fiir alarm went offf. Raziel ran also but he could'nt see through the pantyhose he had on his hed so he veer'd off-course and ran into a pregnancy- testing machiin. Raziel loook'd at it and it was positiv)
Raziel: I'm pregnit!
(so Raziel walk'd over to Duma who was stumbling to get up. Then Moebius walk'd over to them)
Moebius: Dod yoo two set offf this alarm?
Dumah: Yes and I hurt liik Hel!
(then Moebius pulls a fully grown bovine out of his poket. Moebius lifts the bovine by it's tail then he slaped Duma and Raziel with the bovine)
Raziel: Ive beeen bovine slaped!
Dumah: Bovine not my friend!
(then Moebius puled a bazooka out of his poket. But the bazooka was'nt looded with rokets. No, much worse. It was looded with bovines!)
Moebius: Say hello to my milk-spewing friend!
Raziel and Dumah: AHHHHHH!! A BOVINE LAUNCHER!!
(so Moebius chaas'd Raziel and Duma all over Wal-Mart wile launching bovines at them. But suddenly I Magnus must end this fic on a clifhanger. Leeving on clifhangers ar al the raag thees dayz)
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Wel, I hoop yoo liik'd this chapter, Il'l get the next one up soon!
{The end of Magnus' fic}
(so the next day Magnus went back and had 6 reviews!)
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Banana_Pudding_Yummy (aka Zephon) Signed "Yep, it's really hard work having to put up with idiots. Just because I'm totally stupid doesn't mean I'm stupid! Wait, that doesn't make sense."
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King_Of_Beating_The_Sh**_Out_Of_People (aka Dumah) Signed "I HATE YOU MAGNUS! I'LL GET YOU GET FOR THIS!! I can't even FIT panty hoses on my head!"
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I'mLikeALego (aka Melchiah) Signed "I have been psychologically scarred forever now."
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PopStar (aka Turel) Signed "Ducky ducky ducky, I made you out of rubber! Ducky ducky ducky, with ducky I will play!"
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Evil_WMD (aka WMD's evil alter ego) SIGNED "AHAHAHAHAHA!! I'm gonna make this fic totally stupid and insane! Wait a minute, this fic already IS stupid and insane! Dammit!"
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IruleYouSuck (aka Kain) Signed "Good news! M-Rated games won't be banned! I still hate you though!"
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Well, I've finaly updated. In the next chapter, Moebius chases Razzyboy and Dumah and the others in the DuckMobile! But Turel picks up Vorador, an illegal hitchhiker! And you get to choose what kind of totally deranged and stupid crime he's commited against the Sarafan Lord! Make sure its stupid or weird!
________________________________________________
A/N: The random winner for this chapter is AkikoStar! And that was a good suggestion, seeing as how Razzyboy and Dumah don't know how to open doors! (man, the nickname Razzyboy that I came up with has been getting really popular. At least, I think I was the first to use it)
[The scene opens up at a government press conference and there's a government official speaking to other government officials]
Gov. Official: Today I have called all you officials here so we can fight an extreme danger. And that danger is video games.
German Official: Hail Hitler!
Gov. Official: Excuse me, but shut up! Anyway, video games are getting too violent these days. You can find the kind of violence in video games that you can in R-rated movies, and that's just bad!
German Official: Hail Hitler!
Gov. Official: German Official, shut up! Back to the point, adults like us whine about the video games because we don't play them, even if they are like R-rated movies. And we don't bitch about them because we watch them!
German Official: Hail Hitler!
British Official: Shut you're dirty mouth ya tosser!
Gov. Official: Back to the point! Video games are too violent! They need to be less violent and more lovable by the whole family like Mario! So I hereby ban Mature rated video games like Legacy of Kain series and Grand Theft Auto: Vice City from Nosgoth and all the world!
(all the officials were cheering then Kain and Magnus walked into the room wearing tuxedos. Kain and Magnus walked up to the government official)
Kain: Are you the one protesting and banning Mature rated games?
Gov. Official: Yes because they corrupt children! Mature rated games are garbage that must be eradicated! Help join the fight against video games today!
(then Kain punches the Gov. Official in the face as hard as he could, almost knocking the Gov. Official out. Then Magnus chewed on the Gov. Official. Then Magnus stood behind Kain and Kain and Magnus looked at the people reading this fic right now)
Kain: Please people, help us fight video game protesters like this little sissypiss and join the "Video Games Forever" movement!
Magnus: SISSYPISS? MEAT!
(then Tommy Vercetti walks in)
Tommy: (to Gov. Official) Hey, I heard the stupid crap you were saying about me!
(then Tommy Vercetti kicked the Gov. Official)
Tommy: (to Kain) Hey Kain, wanna go kill some innocent civilians?
Kain: Damn straight! Let's go!
(then Kain and Tommy leave)
Magnus: MAGNUS NO LIKE GOV. OFFICIAL! MEAT!
(so after Magnus ate the Gov. Official he submitted the next chapter for his story)
{Magnus' fanfic begins}
Dizzclaamer: Magnus no own LoK or it is carakterz
_______________________________________________________
[The sene is outsiid of Wal-Mart and Razzyboy and Duma hav just walk'd up to the otomatic dooors, but they arn't close enuff for the dooors to open]
Raziel: My god! The dooors!
Dumah: Wat do we do!?!?
Raziel: Duma, thees dooors must stay dead!
Dumah: Wat ar yoo talking about?
Raziel: Sory. Flashback.
(then sumone walk'd up to the dooor and the dooor otomaticaly open'd. Razzyboy and Duma wached on in amaazment)
Raziel: Now how in Lucifer's hotdogs did he do that?
Dumah: Yeh, he open'd the dreaded dooor by magik.
Raziel: We must get in!!
(so they step'd forward and the dooor otomaticaly open'd. Razzyboy and Duma wer in incredibl shok)
Raziel: WOW!!
Dumah: The dooor. It open'd!
Raziel: THE DOOOR OPEN'D!
Dumah: Haliluya!
(they wer so excit'd that they hugg'd and proposed a weding, but they turn'd eech other down. They wern't redy for that kiind of comitment. So they walk'd into the dooor and they thought they wer going blind)
Raziel: AHH! Wat's that horible radiation thats blinding us?
Dumah: Ah, I think I feeel myself going sterile!
Moebius (a Wal-Mart employee): That "horible radiation" is the light bulb on the ceiling.
Raziel: Light bulb?
Moebius: Yeh. Yoo presss a swich and light coms on.
Dumah: Yoo can do that?
Raziel: Ar yoo a god?
(Razzyboy and Duma looks stupidly at Moebius)
Moebius: Um...YES!! I AM THE GOD OF SEX!
Raziel: If hes the god of sex and can also magiklly maak light appear then sex equals light!
Dumah: Wel pinch my man-titties!
[Meanwile, back in the DuckMobile, Kain and Melchiah wer...smothering eech other and Magnus was seeeing how many licks it took to get to the center of a toootsi-pop wile Rahab admir'd him, Turel was makin duck balloons and Zefon was going over plans to kil the idiots]
Magnus: 5 licks...
Rahab: 5 licks sir!
Magnus: 6 licks...
Rahab: Um, 91 licks I think? I've forgoten. Im so proud to be here wile yoo taak on this daunting task of the number of licks! Yoo're so braav! Ive got to admiir yoor balls!
Kain: (this gets Princess Kain's attention) Did sumone say sumthing?
Turel: Duckies ar yellow! YELLOW'S COOOL! Viva la duckies!
Kain: Duckies ar sexy too!
Melchiah: Wat about me?
Kain: Yoo haav very sexy toenails!
Melchiah: I AM THE TOENAIL KING!
(Zefon bends over in his seat and fiinds sumthing)
Zephon: HeylookwhatIfound! (snorts)
(It turns out that Zefon found a high-power'd gun. Wen he loook'd bac up, all the others wer hiding sumwere)
Zephon: Wowtheseguysaren'tasstupidasIthought! (snorts)
[Bac at Wal-Mart, Moebius was busying admiring hisself wile Razzyboy and Duma serched for milk and cookies. They wer serching random shelves]
Dumah: Hey, wat's this? Is this coookies?
(Duma hands Razzyboy a pear of pantyhose)
Raziel: It loooks liik coookies. No waat, thees ar hats!
(so Razzyboy and Duma put the pear of pantyhoses on their heds)
Dumah: I feeel dashing!
Raziel: I feeel sensuous!
Dumah: Lets keeep loooking.
(so razzyboy and Duma wander'd around Wal-Mart wearing a pair of pantyhoses on their heds. Then Duma spots a fire-escape dooor)
Dumah: Another dooor! Lets open it the way we open'd the front dooor!
(so Duma ran hed-first into the fiir-escape dooor, hurting his hed badly, but the dooor slamm'd open and the fiir alarm went offf. Raziel ran also but he could'nt see through the pantyhose he had on his hed so he veer'd off-course and ran into a pregnancy- testing machiin. Raziel loook'd at it and it was positiv)
Raziel: I'm pregnit!
(so Raziel walk'd over to Duma who was stumbling to get up. Then Moebius walk'd over to them)
Moebius: Dod yoo two set offf this alarm?
Dumah: Yes and I hurt liik Hel!
(then Moebius pulls a fully grown bovine out of his poket. Moebius lifts the bovine by it's tail then he slaped Duma and Raziel with the bovine)
Raziel: Ive beeen bovine slaped!
Dumah: Bovine not my friend!
(then Moebius puled a bazooka out of his poket. But the bazooka was'nt looded with rokets. No, much worse. It was looded with bovines!)
Moebius: Say hello to my milk-spewing friend!
Raziel and Dumah: AHHHHHH!! A BOVINE LAUNCHER!!
(so Moebius chaas'd Raziel and Duma all over Wal-Mart wile launching bovines at them. But suddenly I Magnus must end this fic on a clifhanger. Leeving on clifhangers ar al the raag thees dayz)
____________________________________________________________________
Wel, I hoop yoo liik'd this chapter, Il'l get the next one up soon!
{The end of Magnus' fic}
(so the next day Magnus went back and had 6 reviews!)
-----------------------------------
Banana_Pudding_Yummy (aka Zephon) Signed "Yep, it's really hard work having to put up with idiots. Just because I'm totally stupid doesn't mean I'm stupid! Wait, that doesn't make sense."
-----------------------------------
-----------------------------------
King_Of_Beating_The_Sh**_Out_Of_People (aka Dumah) Signed "I HATE YOU MAGNUS! I'LL GET YOU GET FOR THIS!! I can't even FIT panty hoses on my head!"
-----------------------------------
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I'mLikeALego (aka Melchiah) Signed "I have been psychologically scarred forever now."
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
PopStar (aka Turel) Signed "Ducky ducky ducky, I made you out of rubber! Ducky ducky ducky, with ducky I will play!"
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
Evil_WMD (aka WMD's evil alter ego) SIGNED "AHAHAHAHAHA!! I'm gonna make this fic totally stupid and insane! Wait a minute, this fic already IS stupid and insane! Dammit!"
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
IruleYouSuck (aka Kain) Signed "Good news! M-Rated games won't be banned! I still hate you though!"
----------------------------------
______________________________________________________________________
Well, I've finaly updated. In the next chapter, Moebius chases Razzyboy and Dumah and the others in the DuckMobile! But Turel picks up Vorador, an illegal hitchhiker! And you get to choose what kind of totally deranged and stupid crime he's commited against the Sarafan Lord! Make sure its stupid or weird!