Notes: "Mirror Image" is a joint project by Datenshi Blue and Jiro. If you read the earlier chapters you already know that every odd chapter is written from Hikaru's POV and every even chapter is written from Akira's POV. So you already know how this works. Thanks for all your reviews and keep them coming!!

Disclaimers: We don't even own a Sai plushie. Let alone the characters.

Warnings: Yaoi, shounen-ai, angst, and the ever-present cuteness!!

Chapter 3: Lies.

He doesn't want to play me.

I've been standing here, in the Nihon Kiin's lobby, like an idiot, for a long time. Or so it seems. I have managed to smile like if there was nothing different between us, while he was here. But I guess Touya knows me better than anybody. Because I am his... Maybe I should say I was his rival. Because now, he doesn't want to play me.

For some reason, that thought is scary. Because he gave my life a sense. It was his passion for this game what made me wake up and, for the first time in my life, ache to achieve something. And suddenly all I wanted was to be noticed by him. To gain his respect. To be acknowledged. Because he only saw Sai in me...

How it hurt. How jealous I was. Seeing the happy face of Sai each time he played drove me mad. Watching him win one game after another made me want to cry. I hated when people thought Sai was me, because the only thing I did those times was laying stones as he told me. I hated the looks of the people who were being crushed by Sai. The scared eyes that looked at me (Sai), wondering who the hell I (Sai) was. I also hated the dazed eyes that looked at me (but once again, it was Sai) in awe. The greedy eyes of the go players who know what the Hand of God is, and that I (Sai) was a mean to reach it. I hated all that because I was just a moron. Because I had no strength. Because I longed for Touya to look at me (not Sai) in that way. I loved Sai and I hated him, because he had the strength I was lacking. And I punished him not letting him play. How shameful. How selfish. How foolish. How stupid can I get? Lots of times I wished I was Sai, to be worth of Touya. I only wanted to be worth of him. To find my own way. Even if that meant pushing Sai aside. Even if Sai's go is inside my go, even if he is inside me, I'm so weak compared to him... God, it's so damn frustrating...

Now it all is gone. Touya is so disappointed on me that he doesn't even want to play me. And I feel even guiltier because I sacrificed Sai for a dream that is suddenly fading away.

The 'ping' of the elevator startles me. I start walking towards the exit, so that the people who are going to come out of it don't think there's something wrong with me.

'Ah, Shindou-kun!', a voice calls me. I turn around to find out that Ogata-sensei and Amano-san are walking towards me.

'Good afternoon, Ogata-sensei. Amano-san...', I say with a neutral tone of voice.

'How was your game?', Amano-san asks me politely.

'I won.'

'As expected...', Ogata-sensei says. That flatters me. Ogata-sensei isn't one to give compliments. He's looking at me intently, though. I can't help but look away. He has always disturbed me. He has those dark and deep kind of eyes that seek for your secrets and grasp them and then he smirks as he lets you know, without saying a word, that he will be using your weaknesses to behead you... without remorse. And he is studying me with those eyes right now. Usually I would gather all my courage and I would look back at him, because I'm now a strong pro, even if I am still a lower-dan. But my spirit is crushed by Touya's cold eyes. And the unbearable thought of not being able to play him ever again. "Well, then..." Ogata-sensei says. That makes me lift my face to look up at him. There is an amused smile on his lips. It lingers there a while longer, while he and Amano-san walk out of the building. Just as the door is about closing after them, he turns around slightly to look at me again. That damned amused smile is even worse than his scary eyes. It makes me feel that he knows something I don't. Feeling a chill I lift my hand to grasp the strap of my backpack, and I compel my feet to walk towards the door.

'Shindou!!' I stop and turn around again.

Waya and Isumi-san are walking out of the elevator. Waya is smiling and waving his hand, while Isumi-san is avoiding my eyes. He has been doing that all the morning. I wonder if it has something to do with what happened yesterday. Beats me... No, really, it's like everything is upside down, and I don't know where I did go wrong.

As Waya runs towards me, I look at the floor. He wraps his arm around my shoulders as he reaches me and pushes me towards the door. Isumi-san follows us without saying a word.

I smile at Waya and get away from him. He doesn't seem to care, that big smile still on his lips. I turn around to look at Isumi. He looks away one more time. It is starting to piss me off.

'Did you win?' I ask Waya, who is talking non-stop about something. I haven't been really listening to him. I smile guiltly as he frowns and tells me that he has already told me that he did. I, then, look at Isumi-san, 'What about you?'

Isumi-san finally looks at me. He looks confused and kind of pained.

'I won too.'

Waya says something about going to celebrate that we all won. I'm not feeling like celebrating anything. Knowing that the person who means almost everything to me (career-wise, I mean) doesn't want to play me is really bothering me. I wince at this thought. Hey, listen to me. I'm sounding like a moping boyfriend, or something like that...

... Yeah, right.

It's too late now to stop the train of thoughts. That little show at my apartment comes crawling into my head again. I don't want to think about that. I really don't want. It's bad enough that, after seeing Isumi-san's and Touya's reactions, I'm starting to understand what they think they saw there. But... I shake my head. No, I don't want to think about Waya sort of hitting on me...

Well done, me. There goes the blushing thing again. I must be wrong...

Or sick.

Or both.

'Gomen' I say, managing to smile at them. At least apologetically. Both Waya and Isumi-san are looking at me now. 'I mean... I... well, have something to do...' Waya seems desolated. Now Isumi-san looks discontent, Waya desolated, and Touya hates me. I must be a jerk. I sigh inwardly as I try to smile once again, 'Ne, guys, let's meet later, OK? Let's go have dinner. My treat.' Not only I am a jerk, I sound like one too.

But Waya is smiling me back, nodding.

I, then, turn around, and run away from them. The relief overwhelms me.

Now, I also feel like a jerk.

I walk and walk while I try to understand what is going on around me. My steps are taking me to Touya's go salon. If he had a tutoring session, he surely is there. If he is going to discuss some kifu with Ashiwara-san, he will probably do it there too. I wonder how I should approach him to not feel like a complete idiot, and that's hard because I've been feeling like one for almost 24 hours in a row, now.

Ah, that's right! The umbrella. I take my backpack off my shoulders and look inside. Yeah, it is there. I should have given it to him when I stopped him in the Nihon Kiin. But he was ignoring me in such a blatant way that it totally slipped my mind. I don't really know if it is a good idea. I found it laying on the floor when I came home from Shuusaku's grave last night. I think he was so shocked that he dropped it when... when...

Way to go, me. That's the spirit. Crush yourself in front of the door of Touya's go salon. Make it so that you'll be too embarrassed to even speak a word when you face him. What if Touya doesn't want to talk to me? He has been specially cold today. Ok, I know that thing with Waya was weird. But even if it is like that, why would he be so angry about it?

I lean my back against the wall of the building, while I try to get a hold on myself.

Sure I forgot to tell him I was moving.

But that's only because we are always playing when we're together, and I am so concentrated those times on our game that I forget about everything else. I set my mind, all my body, on the battle over the goban. I watch him play each hand, trying to read as far as I am able to guess what he is up to. I try to look for the answers in his eyes, as well as his hands, so how would I be thinking about my new apartment? We also end every game fighting. And I always leave all fired up. Come on, it's not that weird that I forgot to mention it.

Alright. I'll apologize for not having told him. And everything will be alright.

With that resolution I enter the building, trying to keep that little scornful voice that tells me that he's also bothered by what happened with Waya quiet.

What they think that happened with Waya, I think stubbornly. Because everything is a misunderstanding, and Waya wasn't about to kiss me.

I stop dead.

Kiss me? Where did that come from?

I'm blushing so hard that I think the steam is going to come up in spirals out of my ears.

I think I'm going crazy. For God's sake, Waya is a guy. I am a guy. There's no way that would happen.

With a deaf anger (directed only at me) I shake my head, trying to calm down. And I walk into the go salon. Ishikawa-san (I think that's her name) greets me, and I show her one of my best smiles. She tells me Akira-kun is on the back of the salon. I remember the place, it's where we played our first... where Sai and Touya played their first game. For some reason, in these two years I've been coming here to play him, we have never gone to that dark corner to play.

'Is he still playing shidougo?' I ask her. I don't really want to be a nuisance. Not that it really matters, since I can just watch the game as they play, but even...

'Shidougo?' she is laughing. 'No way. Akira-kun has been alone since he came. He asked me if someone came asking for a tutoring lesson to tell them that he was busy...'

This is worse than what I expected. I clench my fist in anger. He lied when he said he had a tutoring session. Does he hate me that much? I think it's the first time I've seen Touya lying. It's so disturbing I don't even know what to make of it.

'Ah... Thank you...', I don't know what else to say. So I walk towards that dark corner. I can watch him from here. His head is bowed, looking at the goban in concentration. I wonder if he is recreating some game. I can't remember who is he scheduled to play tomorrow.

I stop in front of him, but he's so deep into the game that he doesn't notice. I look at the patterns in the goban. And then I hold my breath, as I recognize it as our first game after Sai disappeared. I'm a bit shocked. I mean, I thought he was so mad at me that he didn't want to... well, I don't know what I mean, but I sure wasn't expecting him to be recreating our game. That's almost enough to make my anger go away. Almost.

'Yo!', I say with a big smile. I'm fuming, but he doesn't need to know that right now.

Touya's head snaps up and he looks at me with an amusing expression on his features. My smile widens. Really. That expression is worth of a picture or something. But he reacts pretty fast. As expected from him. His hands are skillfully returning the stones to their go ke.

'Seems the tutoring session ended pretty soon...' He's the one who lied. I don't feel guilty for teasing him about it. His hand twitches and one of the stones falls, making a little crashing sound as it hits the floor. I reach for it and as I'm going to drop it into its go ke, my hand bumps into his hand. For a moment, I think he's going to drop all the stones he's holding, but he frowns and let them fall into their casks without saying anything. I look at my watch.

'When is Ashiwara-san coming?' I ask. I don't know if he was also lying about that. But there's a chance he wasn't. So I want to know how much time I have to tease him, apologize and try to take it all back to how it was before. I know I should have asked if he had some time before Ashiwara-san's arrival, but I'm not feeling like being polite right now. I don't give a damn about what I should be saying. He is lying to me. And I didn't lie to him. He didn't even give me the chance to.

Touya doesn't lift his face to look at me.

'A... any minute...' he says softly.

He is lying.

I'm getting all worked up again.

I take my backpack off my shoulders. I haven't left it with Ishikawa-san because I didn't think we would be playing. I take the umbrella out of it, and hand it to him.

'Yesterday, you... forgot this at my place...' forgot... what a nice way to say it. Maybe I should have said dropped. So much for teasing him. And I don't really think that would be teasing only him.

'Oh... Thank you.' he takes the umbrella and looks at me. Part of the coldness he was filling his eyes with before is gone. And I feel thankful. Because it's way too difficult to face him like that. Touya looks behind me, as if really waiting that Ashiwara-san will be coming here any minute.

'He isn't coming, right?' I draw my hand to my mouth. I was thinking that. But I didn't mean to say it out loud. Anyway, I don't care. He's being a jerk. He deserves it...

Touya then snaps out. He is frowning and looking at me really angry.

'Why are you stalking me?' he asks with a loud voice.

The irony of those words doesn't go unnoticed.

'You lied!' I say, also with a loud voice. I know it's childish, but it's the only thing that comes out of my mouth. And I've been being an idiot for 24 hours, so who cares?

'So what?' he asks me. 'It's not like you've never lied to me before!!!' he is really mad at me. He is standing now, his hands slammed against the table, his eyes piercing through my own eyes.

'So... so what???', I ask. I can't believe this. 'Oh, well, GREAT!! And here I thought you were my friend!' I shout, slamming my hands against the table too.

I can see the words die in his throat before he can say them. For some seconds we are both silent. I can see a shadow of something like hope in his eyes. But it is soon gone. And I must admit he has a point there. I lied. Not only to him, but to everybody. But that was different! And that has nothing to do with this, dammit! He looks away with pride. And that pisses me off even more. I frown deeper.

'You say that... but you didn't even tell me you were moving', he scowls.

Still, I think his voice is sort of shivering.

'Yeah, you're right. I forgot. It totally slipped my mind. I apologize about that.' I concede, still watching him intently.

He looks at me, then. I can see he doesn't believe me.

'I'm telling the truth!' I shout. 'I just forgot!'

'But you told them! And he was even helping you with your...' his voice trails off.

I blush.

I know we are thinking the same right now.

'About that...' I start again. I tried to tell him this morning, but he wouldn't let me.

'It's none of my business...' he says, turning around.

'Then why are you so mad about it!!!', I shout again. I really don't understand him.

'I am not mad about it!!'

We are being childish. This is like our fights after a go game, but even worse. Thanks God, we are on the back of the salon and the people can't hear everything. I wipe my forehead with my hand, sighing.

'Anyway, about what happened there with Waya... it is not...' I try again.

'I told you it's none of my business!', he interrupts me. There's not only rage in his eyes now. But I don't know what is that I see there. Still it makes his eyes sort of glow, and I have to look away, because I think I'm going to drown in them. It's like looking into Ogata-sensei's eyes, but adding something like excitement, hope and a big loss to the fear and resolution.

Feeling the anger burning inside me, I decide that this is too much. He doesn't want to listen to me. So there's no point in trying to shout louder than he.

'Alright, then.' I say, with a voice so cold that it even sounds strange to my own ears.

I take my backpack and stomp towards the exit. I'm really pissed off. This is not solving anything. I would say we're even worse than before I came here. Something inside me is waiting for him to call my name. But I know that won't happen. So I walk before Ishikawa-san (if that's her name at all) fuming and she tries to smile. I guess she just watches this as one of our fights. But I don't have to be really smart to know there's a difference. Even if I don't know what that difference is.

It takes me some time to calm down after leaving Touya's go salon. I feel so angry and upset at the same time. I take the train to my house. When I get there, I look at the mess that my living-room is in. I have barely unpacked the main stuff, so there are lots of boxes around that needs to be taken care of. Waya offered to come here today to help me with it. I turned him down, because I was really confused about what had happened, and wanted to get rid of him as soon as possible to go to Shuusaku's grave. But now I think I can use some help. It's not a big apartment. It only has a room, a huge living room, a bathroom and a big kitchen. But still it's difficult to fit everything there. I have absolutely no sense of decoration so I'm rather lost about all this.

Well, it's only around 5. I grab my cellphone and call Waya. He assures me he will be here with Isumi-san in less than thirty minutes. They will help me with this if I take them both out to dine afterwards. I agree.

Seems the day is getting better.

While I wait for them, I take Shuusaku's goban and set it on my room, at my futon's side. I caress the smooth surface, thinking about Sai. Lately I've been thinking about him a lot. After that last dream in which Sai would only smile somewhat sadly while I told him about my game with Touya, I have never ever dreamt of him again. Sometimes it seems so unreal that I think it was all a trick of my mind.

The ring of the door startles me and I run to open it. A happy Waya and a less brooding Isumi-san greet me.

'What the... Oi, Shindou, this is awful!!!' Waya is saying, looking around him. 'How could you set the table here? Come on!'

He starts moving the furniture and I find myself making a mental note of thinking it twice before asking Waya for help again. Isumi-san laughs and helps me lift a heavy box to place it over the table.

I wonder if I should make a remark about him being in a better mood. But I don't want to spoil it, so I just nod when he asks me if all the plates and glasses should be taken to the kitchen. We open a box filled with books next.

'Books?' Isumi-san asks with a surprised look.

'Aa...' I say absently while searching for the bookcase. Waya has set it against the wall, in front of the table that is now near the window. Alright, it looks better this way. I really have no sense of decoration.

'Ne, Waya, did you know Shindou-kun can read?' Isumi-san says mockingly.

I sigh.

'Yeah, manga' Waya answers teasing me.

I roll my eyes while taking some of the books and placing them in the bookcase.

'No, real books...' Isumi-san adds with a fake look of amazement.

'You mean, kifu's collections, right?'

I'm starting to clench my fists.

'No... they are western classics... and there are some Japanese classics too...' now he sounds genuinely amazed. The truth is that I bought those classics because Sai asked me to. Anyway I have read them all. Some of them two or three times already. Sai even met some of these authors when he was alive. Reading them makes me feel him closer to me. So I guess some of these books are like old friends of mine.

'At least they are not written in classical Japanese' Waya says while flipping through the pages of one of the books. I take it from his hands and set it on the bookcase.

'Oi, stop messing around. There's still a lot to do!' I say, going to grab the next box.

There is not much furniture. I have placed the shelfs I had in my old room in my new room. Mama took the fridge I had there and moved it to the garage. I won't be needing a fridge in my room anymore, I think. And this is a Japanese style apartment, so there's not many things I can decorate it with. Waya and Isumi-san have given a little indoor plant to me, like a housewarming present. I place it on the table.

Almost everything is settled now. I sigh smiling slightly. This has been a lot easier than expected. They have been a great help. They have earned the dinner. I wrap my arms around both their shoulders and smile teasingly.

'Now let's go ramen!'

Waya puts his hand around my waist, laughing.

'No way in hell. We'll have sushi.'

Isumi-san looks away not wanting to get into the fight.

'I'm the one paying! We'll have ramen!'

Waya frowns.

'I moved all the furniture by myself! And I want sushi!'

I laugh as we walk out of my house. I turn around to lock the door. Waya turns around too, to not let go of my waist. I blush. I don't want to think that's any special. But that's hard to do considering all facts.

'Fine. We'll have sushi' I concede, mainly because I'm nervous. I can see Isumi-san going pale with the corner of my eye. So I'm not the only one thinking that Waya's behaviour is weird.

After locking the door, I walk up to Isumi-san and Waya lets go of me.

We all start walking towards Waya's favourite sushi restaurant. Even though we are all joking and laughing, I can sense a weird atmosphere surrounding us. And Isumi-san is sending angsty looks in Waya's direction every few minutes.

I really would like to know what's going on. I hate being clueless.

We take a seat at the restaurant and order some food. After a while, Waya frowns, looking at me like if he was going to kill me.

'Nani?' I say, with an innocent face.

'You-ate-the-salmon', he says, approaching his face to mine.

I smile apologetically.

'You were way too busy telling us about that stuff that nobody cares about. Your own fault...', I tease him. A waitress brings us some desserts.

He picks the cherry out of my ice-cream and eats it slowly in front of me. Isumi-san actually makes a sort of strangled sound when he sees this.

I blush.

I don't know why I'm blushing. It's like the look in his eyes, and the movements of his wet lips are disturbing me. And suddenly I imagine Touya in his place. I shrug and stand up muttering an apology. I rush to the bathroom and start washing my face. Touya eating a cherry in a sexy way? S... s... sexy way? Damn, what's wrong with me? Waya's wasn't even a sexy way! He was just teasing me. It was my cherry. I knew ordering ice-cream was a mistake... I'm way too old to eat that stuff. It's...girly. And my hormones are giving me a hard time, lately.

The door of the bathroom opens at my back. And as I lift my face, I can see through the mirror that Waya is standing behind me, with a worried look in his face. He puts a hand in my shoulder.

'Shindou? Are you ok?' he says, his eyes filled with concern.

I feel the blood rushing to my face again and I look away.

He takes another step towards me. His chest is almost touching my back.

I think I'm sick. I mean, surely Waya has always been like that, but since that weird thing yesterday, I sort of see lots of intentions in every movement he does. I smile nervously and I'm about to get away from him rudely. But I feel bad about it, because Waya is my friend. So I stay like that for some more seconds, looking at him through the mirror, and noticing how my face almost glows, so red it is. He is looking at me seriously, and as he is about to speak, I smile gently and get away from him, walking out of the bathroom.

There's a mortified look on Isumi-san's face. Some minutes later, he excuses himself, saying that he doesn't feel well, and leaves. Waya and I are left alone. I don't know why, things seems to lighten after that. And when we leave the restaurant, we are both laughing out loud, and having a great time. Once again, Waya has been able to fix my day.

And laughing and pushing each other like kids we walk into the night.

TBC

-----------------------------------------------------------

Ok, and now, assuming that you have read all the way here, review, review, review!!! Please? Thanks!