CHAPTER TWO. ---------------------------------------------------------------------
The usual cheerful buzz greeted the Marauders as they trudged down to the Great Hall for breakfast that morning. It was the first day of the second week of school, and all along the House tables, students were talking and laughing and eating, oblivious to the four disheveled young men who had just walked in nearly half an hour after everyone else. Sirius, Remus, and Peter situated themselves at the end of the Gryffindor table, and James, after having sleepily scanned the row for a flash of auburn hair, seated himself across from them.
It was apparent to anyone who watched them that something was "off" this particular morning. Remus had a hand pressed to his forehead, his eyelids drooping incessantly as he attempted to read the Daily Prophet. Sirius, though giving it a valiant effort, could not seem to direct a single bite of oatmeal into his mouth. Peter was chewing his toast more slowly than one would have thought humanly possible, and was stiring the pot of marmalade instead of his tea, while James was out cold right there at the table, his face planted squarely in the middle of his plate.
"What on Earth happened to you four?" A familiar female voice spoke up from behind James.
Remus, who had by this time just about given up trying to read, struggled to pry open one eye as he faintly uttered a greeting in acknowledgement. Sirius looked up at her hazily through the dark hair swinging in his face and mumbled a quick, "H'lo Lily," before turning his attention back to his breakfast and staring intensely (or rather, as intensely as one who has gotten no sleep is able...) at the spoon in his hand, as if by doing so, he could will the now-cold mush to jump down his throat. Peter, who was far too tired to remember to swallow, had a mouthful of toast, and could only nod his head at the young woman standing in front of them. And James was istill/i asleep.
The girl put one hand on her hip and stared at the boys. She was quite attractive: standing there, holding an enormous load of books, her long auburn hair cascading over her shoulders -- and her eyes were a brilliant shade of green. Her mouth was twitching slightly, as if she didn't know whether to grin or scowl at them.
Suddenly, James began to stir. He slowly lifted his head and looked up groggily at Sirius and Remus, who staring stupidly at him. Remus coughed deliberately and motioned to the side of his own face. Sirius stifled a laugh.
Lily jumped, startled.
"Oh! James, I didn't realize you were there." She said awkwardly, speaking to the back of his head.
James, who had only just realized that he was no longer in the dormitory, jumped as well.
"Lily?" He whirled around, running his hand through his mess of hair as he did so. "Good morn-- What?"
"Um," she began, staring at him wide-eyed, "Yes. You... I, um..." She fumbled with the books in her hands, and the corners of her mouth were now twitching violently as she, too, fought to hold back a laugh.
James gaped at her.
"Are you alright, Lily?" He asked worriedly. "You're looking a bit pale -- d'you need me to take you to the hospital wing?"
Lily bit her lip, trying desperately not to look past him. Unbeknownst to James, just behind him, Remus, Sirius, and Peter were doubled over with silent laughter at his expense. She finally managed to regain some composure, and she shook her head.
"No, but thank you, James. I just… you've got… um…" Unsure of how to go about what she needed to say, Lily accidentally glanced back at Sirius, who had formed his hands into O-shaped glasses around his eyes and was mimicking the oblivious James in a surprisingly accurate manner.
She made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a snort, and as she backed away, spoke so quickly that it seemed to be in one breath.
"Err, nevermind, I've-just-remembered-that-I-promised-Miranda-that-I'd-meet-her-in-the-library-before-Potions-but-thanks-anyway-I've-got-to-go-see-you-in-class-then-bye!"
And she hurried off, leaving an utterly confused James Potter staring wistfully after her.
By the time James turned back around, the other three Marauders appeared to be eating their breakfasts again, perfectly normal and pleasantly unaware of the scene that had just transpired between their best friend and his would-be girl.
"Well that was... different..." James began uncertainly as he picked up his fork. "What d'you suppose her deal is?"
Sirius looked up innocently.
"Well, it's probably just that you look so particularly handsome this morning."
James turned slightly pink, astonished at Sirius' response.
"I-- I do?" He reached up and mussed his hair again. "I didn't do anything different today, I don't think..."
Sirius caught Peter's eye and winked.
"Yeah, Prongs, I can't quite put my finger on it. There's just something about you this morning." He scratched his chin as though contemplating.
Peter caught on quickly.
"Maybe your tie?" He put in helpfully. "It's a ivery/i nice tie, I think."
James looked down at his red and gold Gryffindor tie, then raised an eyebrow.
"I wear this exact same tie all the time, Peter."
Peter only grinned.
"No, no, it's not the tie," said Sirius. "I think it's really something about... your iface./i"
"My face?" James repeated.
Remus put down his paper and glanced at Peter and Sirius, both of whom were scant seconds away from exploding with glee. He sighed and picked up his spoon.
i"Enlargae,"/i he muttered, pointing his wand at it.
The cup of the spoon flattened out and expanded until it looked as though Remus was holding up a thin, hand-held mirror.
"Your iface/i, James," he said pointedly, holding the spoon so his friend could see himself in it. "Breakfast and all."
James stared at his reflection in shock. Yellow bits of egg were smeared across his cheeks, with jam and bread crumbs everywhere in between. Even his glasses, he realized, had red raspberry smear-marks on them. He looked up furiously at Sirius and Peter, who were positively shaking with laughter, and let out a stream of profanity that he most certainly did not learn at Hogwarts.
"Aww take it easy, mate," Sirius began, "It was just a spot of fun."
"If Lily never speaks to me again, I swear on Godric Gryffindor, I'll take you by your --" James made several very graphically violent motions in the air.
Remus interrupted.
"Look, James, maybe you ought to clean yourself up before you, I dunno, cause a scene or something?"
James looked around to see nearly everyone in the Great Hall was staring at them and laughing.
"Damnit," he said, as he took out his own wand and pointed it at his face.
"Err, maybe I better do it," Remus added quickly. "You're sort of in a rotten mood, and we wouldn't want you to accidentally blow your own head off."
James sighed miserably and nodded as he slipped his wand back into the pocket of his robe.
i"Scourgify,"/i said Remus, and the mess vanished.
"There now, Prongs! Good as new!" Sirius said jovially. "And I wouldn't worry too much about Lily; she seemed to think it was highly amusing."
Peter snickered and James scowled at him.
"Yeah, very amusing," he muttered sarcastically, finishing up the last bit of his toast.
"Look on the bright side, James! It took your mind off that stupid dream of yours, didn't it?" Peter asked.
James' anger vanished. He turned and glanced back at the door behind him, where Lily had exited just moments earlier.
"You know," he said slowly, turning around again. "You're right. It was just a dream, after all." He tilted his head thoughtfully. "I can't even remember why I was so worked up over it last night."
"This morning, you mean." Remus laughed. "Honestly, I could probably sleep through Potions."
Sirius gasped mockingly.
"Remus Lupin? Skive off classes? What is the world coming to?"
"Ah, speaking of classes," Peter interrupted, "I reckon we'd better head off soon."
James groaned and picked up his books.
"It just had to be Potions first thing today, didn't it?"
Sirius clapped a hand to his shoulder and grinned. James was notoriously bad at potion-mixing.
"Not to worry, mate. We're here for you."
Remus took to his other side.
"That's right. It'll all be over soon."
The three boys laughed as they began to walk towards the doors.
"Wait up!" Peter cried, pausing to take one last sip of tea. He gulped down the contents of his cup and stopped, his face screwing up as he stared incredulously into the pot in his hand.
i"Marmalade???"/i
------------------------------------------
"...And then I added the bat wing too early -- it was a disaster!" James laughed as they recounted the morning classes on the way back to the Common Room that afternoon.
Sirius punched James on the shoulder teasingly.
"I think the real disaster was Lily ignoring you."
"Yeah, maybe she thinks being your friend might put her in a JAM." Peter chuckled.
The other three boys stopped walking and stared at him.
"That was really terrible, Peter." Remus said.
"Your worst yet, I'd say." Sirius nodded.
Peter stopped chuckling, and they continued on their way.
Suddenly, they began to hear loud voices echoing from down the corridor, and it wasn't long before the Marauders came upon a large group of students crowded around one of the windows, laughing raucously.
Sirius pulled one of the boys' collar.
"What's going on?"
"Oh, that new teacher, i'Purfoi'/i or however he says it... He's gotten into a bit of a spat with Professor Kettleburn over whose class had permission to use the Forbidden Forest today. You know how ol' Kettle gets "steamed up" about these things." The boy grinned.
James craned his neck over the crowd and peered out the window. Just below, two men were engaged in a clearly hostile conversation.
The first was rather short and plump; his bald head was gleaming in the afternoon sun. He was shouting in a gruff voice and waving a stump of an arm around in the air. James laughed.
"What d'you suppose they'll do when Kettleburn loses the other three limbs?" He joked.
Sirius chuckled.
"Hire a new Care of Magical Creatures teacher, I suppose! iDangerous/i job, that." He winked at Peter. Care of Magical Creatures was one of Peter's favorite classes.
Everyone laughed.
Remus looked out at the other teacher. This Professor Purfoi of theirs was a very noble-looking man: tall, with long silvery-blonde hair. He had a thin face with high cheekbones, and startling blue eyes. He stood calmly as Professor Kettleburn talked himself blue in the face, nodding politely and trying to avoid making a bigger scene than they had already.
i"And yeh' had NO right, I'm tellin' yeh, NO right, to bring yer' students out this mornin'! Any teacher knows that the Forest has to be reserved by--"
"I'm terribly sorry, Professor Kettleburn, but you see, I've only just arrived this past week. I was unaware of the policy regarding the Forbidden Forest--"
"Yeh' disrupted my class and yeh' frightened the Unicorns, and--"/i
On and on they went, unaware of the crowd they were drawing. The students always enjoyed watching Professor Kettleburn give someone a talking-to, and because in this instance, that "someone" was a new teacher, it was all the more entertaining. The halls shook with laughter as helpless Professor Purfoi had his ears chewed off by "Full-of-Hot-Air" Kettleburn and his incredible, waving stump.
"Poor bloke," Sirius sympathized, "He never stood a chance."
And yet, Remus noted, he idid/i stand a chance. Remus suddenly felt a great swell of admiration for this new Professor. Even the biggest and proudest of the students had broken under the wrath of Professor Kettleburn, and here, right in front of their very eyes, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was not only replying in pleasant tones, but he was actually smiling -- in an polite sort of way.
A loud voice suddenly broke through the laughter.
"Alright, alright, back to the common rooms, everyone. Nothing more to see."
The speaker was a pale, sallow-skinned young man with a very pinched face and a very shiny, newly polished Prefect badge pinned to the front of his robes. He moved on, dispersing the crowd and waving students away from the window.
"Come on, Gilbert! What's the rush?" James smirked.
"Move it along, Potter; we wouldn't want to lose any points from Gryffindor, would we?" He spread his lips to reveal large, pointed teeth, which James supposed was a close as he could get to smiling.
"Oi, James! You lot! Come look, I think Kettleburn's going to hex him!" Peter shouted from the window down the hall.
"Excellent!" Sirius laughed and started towards them. "Aren't you coming, Moony?" He looked back at Remus.
"Err, actually, I think I'll just head back to the Common Room. I need to start on that essay McGonagall assigned."
His friend stared at him.
"Is everything okay?" Sirius asked.
Remus nodded quickly.
"Yeah, 'course. I just want to get a head start, that's all."
Sirius shrugged.
"Suit yourself." He ran off down the hall.