Chapter Three
Hello, My Name Is
"Diamond, wake up! Look at this, it's absolutely gorgeous!"
"Laurel, what are you on about?" Diamond peeked out from under the blanket and gave Laurel a one‑eyed glare. Laurel ignored it and yanked the blanket off her friend.
"Hey! I was using that!"
"Shhh!" Laurel hissed, pressing a finger to Diamond's lips. "Come here, I want you to see this," Laurel whispered, pulling Diamond to her feet. "It's great."
Diamond sighed and allowed Laurel to steer her around to the other side of the wagon. Then Laurel pointed, grinning, and Diamond was suddenly glad she'd awakened.
Silhouetted against the dawn, a herd of spotted deer was grazing in the meadow. Three fawns leapt about, nipping at each other's flanks in play.
"Oh my," Diamond breathed. It wasn't all that miraculous, but the large animals looked so beautiful in the early light that she couldn't help but be awed. Laurel smiled and poked her friend in the ribs.
"And you didn't want to get up."
"What are you blathering about?"
The instant the loud, irritated words were voiced, the entire herd turned tail and ran with odd grace into the forest. Diamond it back a cry of dismay.
"Mother, you scared them away! Shh!" But Diamond's admonition was in vain‑ the deer had vanished and weren't about to return any time soon.
Sage squinted blearily at the two girls. "Diamond, see that the fire is started, will you? Laurel, I'd appreciate it if you would start breakfast. Tiberius and I will get the wagon re‑packed and hitched up." Sage bent over, her tousled head vanishing behind the wall of the wagon bed. She and her husband had slept there, while Diamond and Laurel slept on the rather dirtier but far more comfortable grass.
It took only twenty minutes to start breakfast heating over the fire and have the wagon packed again. Then the four hobbits shared a meal of reheated ham and biscuits and tea‑ a meal that was far from adequate in their minds, but was filling non the less. The ponies were then quickly brushed and hitched to the wagon.
"We'll be there this morning," said Tiberius as he helped his wife into the seat. "Excited, Diamond?" While Tiberius cared very much about his political position and how this marriage would affect it, he cared deeply for his only child. In his eyes, she could do no wrong.
"Define 'excited,'" said Diamond dryly and she climbed into the wagon bed to sit beside Laurel. "If excited means I'm ready to turn tail and run, then yes, I suppose you could say that."
Tiberius chuckled and flicked the reins. "You needn't be quite so melodramatic, love. I've met this Peregrine chap and he's a decent fellow, if a bit excitable."
"They should get along swimmingly then," said Laurel with a laugh. Diamond laughed as well but gave her friend a poke in the ribs.
"Aye, that they should," Tiberius laughed. "But Diamond, try not to avoid the lad these next three days. It's your only chance to get to know him before you wed."
Diamond sighed. "Can we talk about something else, Papa? I'm weary of speaking only of this marriage‑ which, I must say again, I protest to."
"All right, then. What were you two so excited about this morning?"
The conversation went on in this manner for the next four hours as the quartet of hobbits‑three rather excited, one rather nauseous‑drove through the woodlands of the Shire towards the Great Smials. Sage spoke little, preferring to work on a piece of embroidery, but the two girls and Tiberius more than made up for her silence with happy chatter that echoed through the trees and made the woodland creatures wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then they left the forests behind them and spent almost an hour driving through farmland. Laurel and Diamond were having a heated discussion on the nature of High Elves when Sage cried out, "There it is!"
Diamond's head snapped up and her stomach began doing somersaults. A large green hill had appeared over the vegetable fields, round windows cut deep into its sides. Until that moment this entire adventure had seemed rather surreal, but the sight of the smial looming ever closer brought it jarring back into the realms of reality. It really is happening, Diamond thought numbly.
"Diamond, you all right?"
Diamond shook her head and looked up at Laurel's concerned face. "Not quite, but I'll survive."
* * *
"She'll be here today."
"I know."
"The reception's tonight."
"I know that, too."
"You're bloody annoying."
"I know‑ hey!"
Merry grinned impishly, eyes dancing with his small victory. "Well, I got you to actually think about what you were saying."
Pippin tried not to smile, but Merry's amusement was contagious and he ended up laughing anyway. "Meriadoc, will you ever give up?"
Merry shook his head, still grinning. "Afraid not, cousin. I'll always be the same. You, however, have changed quite a bit these last few weeks."
Pippin cocked an eyebrow. "How so?"
"Hmm, let's see." Merry began ticking items off on his fingers. "You're depressed, you don't want to pull pranks anymore, you hardly smile, you mope constantly, you spend most nights at the pub seeking solace in awful‑tasting ale that would curl anyone's toes, you're snappish and irritable, you act like your parents have cooties‑"
"I get the point, Merry," Pippin interrupted, standing up. "I'm sorry I haven't been all that happy, but next time you have to marry a total stranger, let me know what it's like, will you?"
Merry sighed from his toes, mirth gone like smoke in a breeze. "All right, it's a terrible thing. But hey, shouldn't you be living you last days as a bachelor to the hilt, instant of moping about like some forlorn puppy?"
"I should be, yes, but this country has gone from gloriously hysterical to utterly boring." Pippin blew all the air out of his lungs and squinted up at the smial, shielding his eyes with one hand. "We've done it all, Merry."
"We haven't done historical re‑enactments," said Merry hopefully. Pippin gave a snort of laughter in reply.
"If you can convince your mum to dress as an Orc, you're more than welcome to stage one."
"Hey!"
"It's a joke, Merry. Remember those?"
Merry rolled his eyes and stood, brushing peat and grass off his trousers. "Haven't heard one from you in so long I almost thought you didn't know what the word meant anymore."
"You've got me there." Pippin dropped his hand and turned his gaze towards the road that meandered through Tookland and directly past the Smial's front door. "When do you think they'll arrive?"
"Around lunch, I suppose. Can't miss a meal at the Smial, they're bloody good."
"Is that all you think about?"
"Hmm..." Merry made the classic "thinking about it" pose. "Nope. Not that I can think of."
Pippin laughed. "You're a complete nutter, Merry."
"Yeah, well, look in the mirror. You're a bit odd too." Merry twirled one finger beside his head, grinning lopsidedly. Pippin snorted and gave his cousin a good‑natured shove, which was quickly returned. Before either knew it they were in a full‑blown wrestling match, punctuated by laughter and shouts.
"What on earth are you doing?!"
Pippin and Merry, both lying on their backs panting, exchanged panicked glances and scrambled to their feet. No matter how old she got, Eglantine Took would always be a force to be reckoned with and when she spoke, you gave her your full attention.
"Um..."
"You see..."
"Peregrine, Diamond and her family have arrived," said Eglantine sharply. "Go and greet them immediately. I'd prefer it if you at least changed those filthy clothes, but there isn't time. Get!"
As if they were sixteen again, the pair scrambled towards the front door, shoving each other and laughing. Eglantine's words had mostly bounced off their skulls, but they knew you either obeyed her or found somewhere else to sleep, because She Will Get You.
Diamond clutched her skirts anxiously, eyes darting about as she listened to her parents exchanging pleasantries with the Smial elders. Laurel patted her arm sympathetically.
Laughter and words drifted from around behind the edge of the hill. To keep her mind off the conversation around her, she listened to the voices drifting on the breeze.
"Maybe she's... thing you ever... or something..."
Then, to her mortification, the owners of the voices came into view. It was a pair of extremely tall, highly attractive hobbits teasing and shoving each other. They didn't look alike, but they behaved like brothers. Long‑time friends, maybe?
"Pippin! There you are! Get over here!"
The shorter of the two grinned sheepishly and left his friend, walking over to the conflagration of hobbitry. "Aye, Father?"
An older hobbit‑who looked remarkably like the younger hobbit, obviously his son‑gestured at Diamond's parents. "This is Tiberius and Sage, from Long‑Cleave. Over there is Diamond."
It took Diamond only a split second to realize that this was Peregrine, the hobbit she had been promised to. She swallowed hard, suddenly feeling lightheaded.
Peregrine‑or Pippin, as his family called him‑walked over and promptly shook hands with Laurel, nodding his head in greeting. "Hello, Diamond."
Laurel let out a peal of laughter. "I'm afraid not, sir, I'm Laurel Honeycutt. This is Diamond." She grabbed Diamond's arm and pulled her forward sharply, nearly making her stumble. Diamond flushed, as did Pippin in wake of his mistake.
"I'm sorry. I didn't see you. I'm Pippin." He extended his hand again.
"Diamond," said Diamond softly, accepting the offered hand, then pulling back an instant later. She watched him closely, both looking for a reaction and examining the hobbit she was to marry.
He was tall, at least six inches taller than her, probably more. He had a crazy mop of honey‑blonde hair and smoky green eyes, and well‑defined facial features. There were a few freckles here and there, but she wasn't sure if that was freckles or dirt. He'd obviously been mucking about with his friend and was covered in dirt and grass stains from head to toe. He looked more like a child than an adult. However, he was far too muscular to be childish. She flushed anew at the thought.
Meanwhile, Pippin was sizing up the hobbit lass before her. Red‑brown ringlets that tumbled down past her waist, gold‑brown eyes, a delicate look to her features, rather pretty all around. But extremely nervous. Pippin fought down his own anxiety and fought to maintain a nonchalant exterior. He could hear Merry snickering off to one side. He'd pay for that later.
"Nice to finally meet you," said Pippin. "I have to go, I'm a bloody mess." He gave her a roguish grin, then retreated with amazing speed into the Smial, Merry trailing behind.
"That was absolutely terrifying," said Pippin the instant the door was closed. "Just kill me and get it over with."
Merry collapsed in hysterical laughter. A moment later Pippin followed suit, letting off steam through merriment.