Woohoo! 400 reviews reached…thanks everyone ^_^! Sorry about the last couple of days; I just seriously either couldn't write or wasn't in the creative mindset I normally am…I'm still not back there yet, but hey: I figure I may as well try, lol. Oh well, onto the responses…
Inuficcrzy: I'll probably be writing the lemon chapter pretty soon; I thought of a good way to work it into the story without it being too Out-of-character or outlandish, and I've figured out a way to make both people who want to read it and don't want to read it happy (you'll see when I write it; I don't feel like explaining it right now…sorry
-_-)
Angelstars: O_O That, without a doubt, is my longest review ever…hahaha, thank you: I enjoy reading long reviews (they're all good) ^_^. As of today I have found out I have no longer seen every episode of Inuyasha: I'm downloading 106 (taps foot impatiently) and waiting for episode 107 to be released (taps foot at blinding speed). But thanks a lot for your encouragement…I've got about 15,000 words (max) left, or so I think (I may surprise myself), but I will keep updating…ending this story is going to be good, yet bad for me…bad because I like reading reviews and letting everybody have insight into my mind and I'll miss writing, good because I get to write my ending…lol.
Jen Tai Yaung: No problem about mistaking me for a girl; I knew it would probably happen, judging by the fact I write romance, just I didn't think it would happen to this degree…I'm gonna start putting in author's notes that say, "I am NOT a girl, I am a guy" every chapter…it would make it less confusing that way, ne?
SaiyajinEmpress: Lol, thank you…I actually found that page before, but I didn't see that little link that said "Submit a Fic", and even then I wouldn't have submitted it: you have to be recommended…lol, but oh well…thank you!
Yeah, that's all the review responses for tonight…but hey, I'm forgetting the story! ~Gets angry glares from readers~ ~Sweat drops~ Eheheh…don't think I'd leave you hanging, right? ^_^0
Disclaimer: I am not a girl…oh yea, and I don't own Inuyasha. That too.
Chapter Thirty-One
"Inuyasha, wait!" Kagome cried, rushing to the tattered animal skin that hung over the entrance, trying desperately to reach Inuyasha before he left—but it was to no avail. He had already left, leaping deftly away as he soared above the village, leaping away at a fantastic rate across the landscape, fiery morning light staining his silver mane blood red as he disappeared beyond the outermost reaches of the village. Solitude awaited him there.
Not that she could really blame him for wanting to be alone, however: it isn't every day you find out your mother was killed by your worst enemy…add to that the fact that he'd already suffered so much at the hands of Naraku, had his first love killed by him, tricked into thinking he was betrayed by her, and she could see why he'd need some time to himself.
'How can he take it?' Kagome wondered, staring at the golden sun as it began its ascent over the land, looking over the Earth like a great, golden eye. 'How does he live with the pain…the knowledge of what he's lost…burning him alive inside? How did he manage to survive before he had any friends…before he knew even Kikyo? Before he had anybody at all?'
Yet Kagome was not that naïve: she knew the answer to that question all too well, was able to decipher it from bits and pieces of hints he dropped in conversations with her.
'I know how he survived…he's Inuyasha. He became cold, hard, proud…he didn't know how to give up, didn't know how to fail. He was strong enough to make it through his turmoil, cold enough to shove aside the pain…'
'Just like he'll shove this aside,' another voice piped up. (a/n: most of the time this would warrant a psychiatrist, but just imagine these voices as being optimistic and pessimistic halves of the same whole) 'He'll live on, you know that…he'll channel it towards Naraku, driving his hatred, adding fuel to the flames of his heart until Naraku is finally killed.'
That was exactly what she was afraid of…all his rage, burning him alive for years upon years without release, growing stronger all the time with no release…what would happen when Naraku was finally killed? He had Kagome, after all…but he might not be the same anymore: nothing more than a charred shell, consuming flames spent as he held the Shikon no Tama in his hand…and what would he do then? What?
But yet she still smiled…unconvincingly, but she still smiled, trying to brush away the dark thoughts that were crowding her mind as she looked off into the distance, staring in the direction Inuyasha had bounded off into, hoping that the warmth of her smile could warm the chill of painful memories that were undoubtedly welling up inside his mind in his solitude.
Rivulets of blood streamed down Inuyasha's palms, crimson snakes winding down his hands, through his fingers, and falling like tears of blood from his hands to the uncaring world down below. Silver hair cascaded down around his face, forming a shield that hooded his eyes, his face. It cut him off from the rest of the world, isolated him, while memories played across his tortured mind, stoking the flames of hate that had nearly died to new heights as he remembered that night…that final night…
--Flashback—
Smoke spewed from burning homes, the thick gray smoke blotting out the clouds and covering the sky in a dark mist, tainted with the malice that now ran, mixed with blood, in the veins of the thieves; faces split wide with sadistic grins as the thought of the hunt goaded them to greater cruelty. The hooves of horses thudded through the village, shaking the ground like an earthquake; women and children ran for cover as arrows lanced out, thick as raindrops in a thunderstorm, from the marauding raiders…wherever there was exposed flesh, it was stuck full of arrows like a pincushion. What the arrows missed, the swords would not…
And through this all, Inuyasha ran, hand clasped in his mothers as she fought back the tears and pain to save her son…almost dragging him behind her, running with terror-induced speed, to save him from the horrors that massed behind them, growing more perilous with every second they wasted.
"Momma, what's going on!?" Inuyasha cried, eyes stinging with both smoke and tears falling from his eyes at all he was witnessing. "Why are they doing this!?"
Yet he received no response…at least, not a verbal one. He was suddenly cast forward; stumbling, falling, he fell to the ground. Tears falling from his face, he looked up from the ground and cried,
"Momma!?"
"RUN!" She screamed, eyes shining as she stared at the obvious hurt in the young boy's eyes, and she knew her fate was sealed…she could feel the cold, iron grip of a man's hand upon her shoulder, even as she yelled one final impassioned plea: "Inuyasha, if you truly love me, you'll run! PLEASE!"
And it was a hurt, confused child that turned and ran from the scene of terror that lay behind him…a scene that would haunt him for the rest of his childhood, even into his adult years; a scene that was the perfect model of his life for years to come: cast out, heart hurting worse than he'd ever thought possible, thrown out into the unknown.
And through it all, a new twist was added…the product of an adult Inuyasha's imagination: the sound of Naraku's laughter, resounding over and over again in his mind, as his mother was dragged away, pain, helplessness, and desperation written in her eyes as she screamed at him to run…
--End—
Tears struggled to push their way out from Inuyasha's eyes in a futile effort to show his emotions to the world; his heart, instead, was forced to bear the burden as it felt the full crushing weight bear down upon it…this memory had always tortured him, but he thought he'd grown numb to it. Now, with the revelation that it had been Onigumo to kill his mother…it was like a freshly struck wound.
'That bastard…' Inuyasha whispered inside his own mind, clenching his fists in a white-knuckle grip, claws digging mercilessly into his palms. Chin trembled with suppressed rage, fangs ground together. 'I don't care if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to kill that goddamn bastard…'
Kagome was having similar thoughts about Naraku as she lay upon the bed, nestled in a dark corner of the so-called 'House of the Forbidden', thoughts wandering back to Naraku (as they so often did now…how close were they to finding him? How close were they to defeating him, to Inuyasha exacting his final revenge?) as she, like Inuyasha, thought about the pain he had caused him.
In a way, it had hurt her more than it had hurt him—his pain had been spaced out, separated, more sparse than the pain she was bearing now, being crushed beneath a huge weight of emotional hurt that seeing the one she cared for—loved, even—in so much pain, unable to do anything as she realized the full extent of his suffering.
'How…how can he bear such pain?'
Kagome's fondest desire at that moment would have been to find Inuyasha…to tell him everything would be all right…to find a way, an action, something to say, anything that would have her comfort him and ease his pain. Yet she could think of nothing to say, nothing to do, that would release him from the grip this pain now encased him in…even tears could not mitigate his suffering.
But that was the way he was, right? It was what had shaped him…made him strong…made him proud…made him who he was. It was those very same pains, the crippling losses, the life he led, that gave him his strength, and it was Naraku that quickened all that lay inside of him.
Yet he and she alike would—could—not forgive Naraku for what he had done.
'He's taken more than I would have believed possible—not just from Inuyasha, but from Miroku…Sango…Kouga…all those families that we've met, all those who have suffered: he ripped their lives apart just as he did Inuyasha's.'
Flames of bitter rage burned inside Kagome and Inuyasha alike as both their thoughts turned to the source of their pain: Naraku; grim satisfaction shone in their eyes as they envisioned the fall of Naraku. Happiness shone in the eyes of Kagome as she thought of what was possible after the death of their most hated foe, while doubt suffused the eyes of the tortured hanyou at the uncertainty that lay beyond…
Well, an update that was three days in the making and it's not all that great…oh well ^_^. I'll probably be doing another funny chapter soon (hehehe…Codename: Anrui Yuy knows what it will be about ^_^) and I'll be trying to write the lemon soon; voting's over, and I lost count exactly of how many people voted yes/no/neutral, but I know that yes buried no by about 15 votes ^_^.
Oh well…till next time! I'll try to update again tomorrow, and hopefully it'll be the funny chapter…meh. Jaa, mata ne!
(Oh, by the way: Suugaku no shukudai o shinakereba narimasen kara, denakereba narimasen yo! Means "I have to leave because I've got to do my math homework!" Heh…just thought I'd put that in ^_^)