The next day, Hagrid told Harry that he needed to get his school supplies so they had to go to the only wizard street called Diagonally. Well there was an evil street too but don't worry about it. Easy enough. The entrance to the street was at the back of a bar, which Harry realized was very smart of the owner to do. Imagine the cash flow!

A strange man was shaking like a wet chihuahua as Hagrid introduced them.

"This is professor Quirrel," the giant said, to which Quirrel shook and stuttered. What a freak! I sure hope this weird guy is not a villain or something like that.

Hagrid took Harry to a backroom where there was a gross old brick wall. He tapped it with his umbrella and Harry stared in amazement as the wall opened to reveal an entire ss town. It was full of people and the buildings were not properly put together apparently because they all leaned and twisted. Harry figured wizards probably didn't do math so that must be why.

"Let's go to Gringotts first, Harry, so we can get a piece of your enormous fortune that your parents left you but nobody told you about," Hagrid said.

"Wait what?" Harry replied but Hagrid just pulled him along. They entered the bank and Hagrid pointed out it was full of goblins.

"Nobody trusts them and they have no rights according to our laws, so we let them control all of our money! Isn't that cool?" Hagrid said cheerily. Harry nodded. When they reached the front desk, Hagrid said, "Here's the key to Harry Potter's vault. Plus Dumbledore needs me to pick up you-know-what in the vault you-know-which."

"Hagrid, how do you have my vault key?" Harry asked.

"Dumbledore gave it to me, o' course," Hagrid replied.

"But then how did-" Harry started but got cut off by the goblin leading them deeper into the bank. Instead of a nice trolley or stairs, Harry was treated to a dangerous roller coaster that left him with whiplash and made Hagrid sick. When they got to Harry's vault he was awestruck because it looked like Scrooge McDuck's vault, Hagrid had to stop him from diving in. He scooped up the wizard equivalent of three million dollars.

"There are 29 Knuts in one Sickle, and 17 Sickles make up a Galleon," Hagrid told him.

"How do you even remember that?" Harry asked.

"Wikipedia copy and paste," he replied, nodding sagely. Alright then.

They climbed back into the cart and rolled towards vault you-know-which. Then, like a sketchy bootleg watch peddler, Hagrid stuffed the you-know-what into his cargo coat.

"What is that?" Harry asked.

"A clue that will be useful later- wait. I shouldn't 'a said tha', f*ck." Um, okay…

They left the bank and Hagrid left Harry to get fitted for clothes where he ran off to get books. The shop that he was supposed to get his uniform at was called Madam Malkins. He walked inside and stood there waiting to get fitted. There was a blond boy who had sharp features and he looked obviously evil. Also did I mention that his hair was blond? Well it was.

"Going to Hogwarts too?" The boy asked Harry while they were both being fitted.

"Yeah."

"Where do you think you're gonna be sorted? I want to be Slytherin just like every single one of my family members. Literally every single one. So I'm sure I will be. Imagine being put in Hufflepuff, though. I think I would kill myself right there in the great hall, wouldn't you? Hahaha," he said simply, as if any of that made sense.

"Uh…" Harry started to respond. He didn't know what to say, though, because he had no idea what this kid was preaching about. Hufflepuff? Was that a weed term or something? This kid didn't look like he would hit the boof but Harry hadn't met that many wizards yet, so who knows.

"Who is that giant oaf out the window?!" The boy shrieked and Harry realized he meant Hagrid.

"Oh, that's Hagrid. He's chill." Harry told him knowingly.

"Right. Anyway, later." And with that, the boy left. Weird.

Harry got his clothes fitted and walked outside to see that Hagrid was holding an epic white snow owl that was blinking cooly at him, like a boss.

"Every wizard needs an owl, Harry."
"Cool, I'm naming her Hedge," Harry said, and they walked to get a wand.

The wand store was called Olivander's and it was really dusty and dark inside. As if that wasn't bad enough, an ancient looking guy crawled into the light.
"Ah, Mr. Potter," he said creepily and handed him a random box. It must have been a pipe bomb because the second Harry touched the wand inside it combusted and blew up the entire store, even blasting Hagrid back into the wall and knocking him out.

"Well, that's just not right," the old man tsked, and fixed everything with a wave of his wand. "How about this one?"

Harry wearily waved this wand and literally nothing happened. Um. He looked up for guidance but was surprised when the old man snatched the wand straight from his 11 year old hands.

"Hold on…hmmmmm. Yes, this could work, the twin wand to a literal dark wizard for this 11 year old child yes hold on-" he scuttled into the backrooms and came back with a cool looking box.

Harry took the wand and suddenly there were angels singing from the heavens and a blast of light beamed from who even knows where, lifting him up to levitate him like the chosen one that he was.

"Curious…very curious indeed…" Ollivander muttered, looking very old.

"What's curious, sir?" Harry asked as the angelic presence gently placed him back on the ground.

"The phoenix that put that feather in your wand also gave one more feather. Just one. Only one other one, mind you. And it went to the guy that killed your parents and gave you that scar!" Harry was speechless.

"I think we should expect great things from you, Mr. Potter. Because He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Spoken-Of…"

"DON'T SAY HIS NAME!" Hagrid yelled in his sleep.

"Because that guy did great things. Terrible things, but kinda great still if you really think about it. So I expect that of you. Now pay up." Ollivander finished oldly.

Harry took his wand and left, feeling stressed from all of these expectations and also the culture shock and it was just a lot for his 11 year old mind, okay? Anyway shout-out to Hagrid for getting him an actual ice cream cone from Fortescue's because he really needed it. And it was also really nice to get away from the Dursleys' for a while and stay with Hagrid at the Leaky Cauldron until he had to go to school.

Oh btw the guy who killed Harry's parents is named Voldemort, don't forget that.