Title: The Lightkeeper
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com
Story Summary: Sydney's been gone for two years, and Vaughn is married to Alice. What happens when Sydney returns and is forced to accept the new changes that await her in Los Angeles.
A/N: After "The Telling", I hate this story . . . But, I can't stop writing it. Not sure why (okay, I do, you'd all hunt me down & hurt me) but here's the next chapter. Sorry for the delay.
"Hi Dad," Sydney smiled as she pulled open the door and allowed her father into the house shortly after ten in the morning.
"Good morning Sydney," he greeted, his face breaking into a tiny smile when he saw Irina walk into the room.
"How about some coffee?" Irina suggested as she led the three of them into the kitchen.
"It smells good in here," Jack commented offhandedly.
"I started dinner already, we're going to have pork," his wife explained. As she sat at the table Sydney watched the exchange with unhidden interest, searching her mind for some memory of their earlier relationship, before their personas had turned gray and she had still firmly believed in happy endings.
"Sydney I have something for you," Jack revealed as he sat down next to his daughter, coffee in hand. Reaching into his pocket - he was in dark slacks and a sweater, which she realized was as casual as her father would ever become - he handed her a small wrapped box. "Actually it's something that's already yours," he commented as she unwrapped it, revealing a white box.
Holding the box, it reminded her of the type she'd be given after buying earrings from the piercing pagoda in the mall. Pulling the top off, she half expected jewelry but was surprised to see two keys. "What -" she started.
"Your car," Jack explained. "When you left I made the proper arrangements. Now you no longer need your mother's car. I promise that your car is bug free, although I did put a bug killer under the passenger's floor mat."
"You kept my car the entire time?" she whispered.
Jack silently nodded, not bothering to tell her the struggle he went through to be the one to do that. At the time, a certain CIA handler had been vehement that he keep the car. Eventually, it had been the reminder that Jack outranked him in the CIA that sent him off, defeated, giving up a piece of her life that he had desperately wanted to keep. At the time, Jack hadn't seen it, but the younger man had been desperate to keep some piece of her, no matter how small, with him while she was away. In hindsight, it worked out for the best. Somehow Jack doubted Sydney would have approved of the younger agent's *wife* being in her car, or her car being used while the newlyweds were in India.
"Now you can go run your errands, see your friends, look for a job," Irina smiled contently.
"Thank you," she smiled at her father as he nodded with a blank _expression.
"Don't you need to run errands for Francie?" her mother asked.
"I couldn't -" she began to protest, still hesitant to leave her parents alone.
"It's fine Sydney," her father stopped her. The Zen realization that her parents *wanted* time alone was still new to her, and she slowly stood as she nodded.
"Okay... Well, I'll take care of the dress and the cameras. I might stop by Francie's house to pick up some movies and CD's that I have there. Do we need anything while I'm out?"
"We're fine, just be home by dinner," her mother smiled.
"Drive safely," Jack called out as she slipped her jacket on and nodded. Looking at the two of them, sitting across from each other drinking coffee, she smiled before walking out of the house.
Her car was better than ever. During her absence her father had managed to revitalize the car so that it even had the fabulous new-car scent when she hopped into it for the first time in over two years. The radio was on with a brief flick of her wrist and she was delighted that all of her presets were still as they were when she left. Since her return she'd become so dependent on using her mother's car that she'd nearly forgotten her beloved Jeep. Will used to playfully tease her about her attachment to the car. It was, however, the first thing she had purchased from her own money. The car had offered her the first chance she ever had to leave the house behind her, to not have to rely on her father or friends or a nanny. Admittedly, the car was now ten years old, but it ran just as smoothly as the day she had purchased it. Barring any major problems she saw no need to rid herself of the car any time in the near future.
Following Francie's specific directions she dropped the dress off at a cleaner who specialized in the cleaning and preservation of wedding dresses. After that it was off to the film shop, making small chitchat with the handsome store manager as she dropped the cameras off. Getting back on the road she forced herself to try and enjoy the LA traffic - after all, she had only been back for a few scarce days - as she drove the familiar route to her former apartment.
Using her key she let herself into the house, making a mental note to remind her friends that she still had the key. Upon their return they'd be newlyweds, and she doubted they'd want her around for a while. Not that she blamed them. You were only considered a newlywed for so long; the hours, days and weeks that you wore the glow of matrimony only lasted for so long. Needless to say, she didn't resent them for wanting to spend that brief time with only each other.
She froze when she heard the water running in the back bathroom. Silently she shut the front door and made her way to the back of the house, prepared to fight if necessary. Although her skills hadn't been used in years, they were still fresh in her memory and she had no qualms about using them. Slinking through the hallway towards the bedroom, she listened as the water stopped running. Slowly she slid the bedroom door open, and tossed her leg up in a strong kick when she saw someone's back. Instinct kicked back in, and after a few moments of fighting, her suspect was flat on his back gasping for breath.
"Jesus Syd," he muttered as her eyes widened.
"Vaughn!" She instantly felt horrible as she knelt by his side. "What are you doing here?"
"I could," he paused to cough and struggle to gain his breath, "I could ask you the same question."
"I stopped by to get a few things I still had here," she explained, helping him sit up. "What are you doing here?"
"They asked me to water their plants," his voice was strained as he explained. "I thought you'd retired from kickboxing," he teased as she helped pull him to his feet.
"Sorry, instinct." Her cheeks burned as she shrugged. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, I never meant -"
"I'm fine," he cut her off with a half-smile. "When did you get here?"
"A few minutes ago," she shrugged as they walked into the kitchen. "Here," she handed him a glass of cool water.
"Thanks," he smiled and gratefully accepted it. "How'd you get here?"
"I got my car back. Apparently my father's been keeping it the entire time I was gone."
"Everything's okay with it, right? Does it need any work? A tune up?"
"Pristine condition," she smiled. "Watering plants?"
His eyebrows rose as he smirked, "It was either that or take Donovan to the vet. Since Donovan really didn't like that idea, I decided the plants probably would appreciate it if I watered them. So what did you come to get?"
"Just some of my videos and my CD's," she shrugged. "My hidden collection of every John Hughes and Molly Ringwald movie," she conceded as they shared a brief laugh. "What are your weekend plans?" she casually inquired.
"Donovan needs a bath," he remembered. "So what's your favorite?"
"Excuse me?"
"Molly Ringwald or John Hughes movie."
"I love the Breakfast Club," she smiled. "Actually my favorite eighties movie isn't a Hughes or Ringwald film," she recalled as she got her own water.
"My sister has every eighties teen movie imaginable Syd, should I be scared to ask what your favorite is?"
"Maybe," she laughed. "It's definitely a tie between Dirty Dancing and Mystic Pizza. I don't know why I love them so much, but I do."
"First date movie?"
The question caused her eyes to widen as she shook her head. "No. My first date movie was Jurassic Park."
"Jurassic Park?" A single eyebrow gracefully rose on his face as she nodded. "I didn't think that was a dating movie."
"It's not, but I was young and passive."
"Sorry Syd, it's hard for me to ever imagine you bring passive."
"In high school and most of my freshman year of college, I was horrible. Just ask Francie. Anyone could walk over me and I'd just let it slide. I wasn't very outgoing either. If I could have seen some of the outfits I'd wear one day... I'd probably yell at myself to get a sweater."
"You should have watched more James Bond, you would have been more prepared."
"Yeah," she laughed. "Are you sure you're okay? I'm so sorry if I hurt you -"
"I'm fine," he assured her with a half-grin. "A bit sore and admittedly impressed that you can still do that so well, but fine."
"I guess it's like riding a bicycle," she shrugged as she washed out her now-empty water glass.
"Sure," he teased. "Sorry Syd, what you just did to me is *not* like riding a bike."
"Really, it's instinct," she insisted.
"On behalf of all potential burglars everywhere, it's good that not every person has that instinct," he teased.
"Did you get to water the plants?"
"I was about to when you showed off your... abilities." His eyebrow rose as her skin reddened. "Were you training in Armenia and not telling anyone Syd?"
"I was teaching!" she protested before they both laughed. "I'm a little surprised at how easily it came," she confessed. "I was good, wasn't I?"
"Impressive," Vaughn agreed
"I should get my movies," Sydney realized.
"I should go water the plants," he nodded. After a moment they went in opposite directions, Sydney searching through Francie and Will's vast media collection before she gathered half a dozen of her favorites. Minutes later her former handler reappeared, a smile on his face. "So where are you going now?"
"Anywhere but my mother's place. I think my parents basically requested some alone time," she considered. Despite his good manners, he was unable to stop himself before he chuckled at her _expression. "What are your plans? Have you decided to torture Donovan with a vet appointment?"
"No," he shook his head. "I have to do a few more errands. We need dog food and I'm in charge of dinner tonight."
"You cook?"
"I cook," he confirmed to Sydney's surprise.
"Then you need to go," she pointed out and sat down in the living room.
Vaughn nodded, "I need to go," he agreed. "Enjoy your movies."
"Thanks," she smiled as he hesitantly started towards the door.
Half a step from the door he faltered and hesitantly turned back around. "Syd, you want to go jogging?"
"What?" She looked up from her attempts to program the DVD player.
"Not now. Tomorrow morning. At the pier. It's probably been a while, but I'm sure you can keep up with me," he teased.
For a moment she looked down at her lap, her fingers discreetly scratching her head. Half a millisecond went by and he thought he could hear his heart break, certain she was about to turn him down.
"What time?"
"I usually get there around six thirty, or is that too early for you?"
"No," her head shook. "Six thirty's fine," she smiled, her grin only growing at his own heart-stopping smile. "I'll meet you there?"
"Great," he smiled before he slipped out the door.
The next morning he arrived at six, stretching and studying the water in an attempt to not look obvious. Alice was used to his occasional need to slip out of bed early to run; it wasn't something she understood, but wasn't surprised to wake up and see him gone. Still, it wasn't a concern of any priority to him, aware that his wife rarely got out of bed before nine. On the off chance that she would awake, he'd left a note saying he'd gone for a run and would be back before eight.
Her mother's house was quiet the next morning when Sydney slipped out. The otherwise short drive to the pier seemed fantastically long as she slowed down in the parking lot, turning the car off in the spot next to his. As she got out of the car she quickly spotted Vaughn. Unaware of her attention, he was studying the water and absently looking down at his watch. Even in his jogging pants, T-shirt and sneakers, the sight of him put a smile on her face. This was either the most intelligent or foolish thing she had ever agreed to. Truthfully, she wasn't yet sure, but she knew she wasn't willing to lose whatever spot in his life he wanted to offer her.
"Hey."
Vaughn turned around at the melodic sound of her voice. "Hey Syd," he smiled.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" she said gazing out at the water.
"It is," he agreed, looking away. "Do you need to warm up?"
"Nah, I'm ready. You think you can keep up with me?"
"You're not going to give an old man some leniency?"
Sydney rolled her brown eyes, "You're thirty-six Vaughn, that doesn't make you an old man."
"Compared to you it does."
She laughed, "You're acting freaky again."
"Let's run," he smirked as they began to jog together along the pier. "So how long are you going to stay at your mother's?"
"Until I have a job. I do have some savings, but I doubt it's enough for a down payment. When I left, I didn't expect to lose my roommate status to marriage."
"Have you asked them about staying there?"
Her ponytail shook as she silently told him no. "I couldn't. They're going to be newlyweds, they're going to want to be alone. I don't want to intrude on that."
"Would it hurt to ask?"
"I would feel too out of place," she explained. "I'd like my own place anyway. I've never lived on my own, it's about time."
"Not even in college?"
"Not even in college," Sydney replied. "I had a roommate in boarding school, a roommate in college, then I lived with Danny. After that I lived with Francie."
He wanted to ask if she was scared, but it was an insane question. Sydney Bristow was never scared of anything, and even if she were, she wouldn't admit it to anyone. After two years apart, he doubted she'd admit anything to him. There'd been a time, before two had years passed, he had married and the entire world had seemed to flip on to its side, that she would have told him anything. A time where she wanted to tell him everything. Absently, he wondered if such a privilege was lost to him forever.
"Vaughn? You okay?" she called in concern. When he looked over at her, her smile was almost as bright as the rising sun. "You seemed somewhere else for a second. Is everything okay?"
"I'm fine," he smiled. "Are you nervous?" Vaughn tried to casually slip the question into the conversation.
"About what?"
"Living on your own?"
"No, I don't think I'm nervous," she paused, stretching slightly as she deliberated his question. "I guess I'm still not sure where to begin."
"To begin?"
"Yeah," she shrugged as they began to jog again. "I'm starting all over again in Los Angeles. That wasn't my intention when I left, to come back and make a new start, but it's how it worked out. Now I have all these pieces that belong in my old life and I'm not exactly sure how to fit them together."
"Not everything needs to be reassembled Syd."
"In a way it does," Sydney corrected. "My parents are together again - that's something that I still can't quite understand," she conceded. "Will and Francie are together, which is something I probably should have seen coming, but honestly didn't. Everything's just... different," she trailed off. Her body language gave away her discomfort as she shifted her gaze to look at the wooden planks they jogged across.
"Hey," he stopped and gently touched the inside of her elbow. Hesitantly, she stopped and looked at him. The perspiration showed on both of their faces as he took a moment to collect himself. "You know I'm here for you, if you need me, right?"
Sydney smiled and shook her head, "I know Vaughn, but -"
"No," he cut her off. "No 'buts' Sydney," Vaughn's eyebrows rose as he met her eyes. "I'm here."
"Thank you," she spoke softly. After a pause in which they studied one another, she smiled and they began to jog together again.
"Do you want to live near the water?" he asked casually as they moved along the pier.
"If I can afford it, but on a teachers salary it's unlikely."
"You could work as a waitress at the restaurant," he teased. "Make up the difference in the tips."
"Funny," she shot back, still laughing. "When do you suggest I sleep?"
"I thought you didn't need sleep."
"If I could have figured out a way to survive without sleep, my life would have been a *lot* easier," she agreed.
"Syd, if you're serious about living by the water and about being on your own, you could always get another roommate."
"How?" She looked slightly amused. "I'm not going to put an ad in the personals looking for a roommate. I don't know where to begin, but I'm eager to learn."
Vaughn nodded and looked away. For a few minutes the only sound that could be heard was their feet pounding on the planks below and their matched breathing patterns. "How are things with your parents?" he finally asked.
"Fine," she shrugged. "I don't think I'm ever going to get used to it. They're not the parents I remember from when I was little. I know that must not make much sense -"
"I understand," he insisted. "They're not pretending to be perfect Jack and Laura Bristow anymore."
"Exactly. I guess they're more real now, to me and to each other," she mused. "When I was little, I hardly remember them arguing; I don't think either of them saw the flaws in one another... Now they see the flaws. They know what to look for."
"I'm not a big fan of either of your parents Syd," he softly reminded her. "But I give your father a lot of credit. To be able to look past what they went through... I don't know how he does it."
"You don't think you'd be able to do it?" she inquired softly. They both stopped running and fully faced each other.
"If I ever put myself in that position, I'd probably still be kicking myself in the ass for being so blind." Vaughn shook his head, pinched the bridge of his nose and looked away.
"He loves her."
He panted to catch his breath and nodded. "I know," he said glancing quickly at her.
Sydney shrugged and tightened her ponytail. "I don't consider myself naive, especially not when it comes to my parents' ability to deceive..." she paused before she continued, "I guess I still like to believe that in the end, love wins, no matter the betrayal or evil."
"Love wins?"
"Maybe not always," she shrugged again. "I still like to think it does though. A pretty romantic thought for a former spy, huh?" she smiled.
"It's a nice thought Syd," he softly insisted. "Did you get the DVD player to work?"
"Finally. I almost called Marshall though," she admitted to his amusement. "I can defuse a bomb in under a minute but I can't get a DVD to play."
"Progress is not all it's made out to be."
"I think I'll stick to VCR's," Sydney agreed. "I just hope I don't have to use DVD's when I teach."
"I'm sure there are ways around that Syd," he chuckled. "So, what are you going to go by? Ms. Bristow or Miss Bristow?"
Mrs. Vaughn, her mind popped, but she quickly stopped that internal thought. "Miss Bristow, probably," she shrugged. Truthfully she hadn't given it much thought, instead, too preoccupied with trying to get a job. "Do you usually jog here?"
"Sometimes, when it's not too cold. It's easy to think here."
"I love it here," she agreed.
Softly he spoke, "I remember."
"I hope Will and Francie are having a good time."
"I'm sure they are," he insisted. "The weather should be decent for them this time of year."
"Where did you go with Alice?" she asked casually.
Vaughn stopped running and spoke disapprovingly, "Syd."
"What?" She paused with him. The question was perfectly acceptable from one friend to another, but it was the last he would have expected from her.
"We didn't have much of a honeymoon. We stayed at a bed and breakfast in Napa for a few days before we left for India."
"That's a nice area," she casually agreed as they slowly walked to cool down. Quietly he hoped she'd just kick the life out of him and get it over with - it would be far less painful than the avenue of conversation she'd just opened up. "I'd never realized you were so interested in that area."
"I worked there for a few years after I joined," he shrugged. "My father did some work there too. I was familiar with the area and it was a good position."
"Is that why you were born in France? Your father was working there?"
Vaughn smiled and shook his head, only slightly surprised that she knew that little fact about him. "That's actually how my parents met. My dad was working and my mother was in graduate school. She's from France originally," he explained as she nodded. "So, she was in graduate school and to make ends meet she worked as a nanny to a diplomat. My father was friends with the diplomat and over for dinner one evening. They consequently met, fell in love and eventually I came along," he raised an eyebrow and smiled.
"That's a nice story," Sydney agreed. There'd never be a story like that for her to tell, not about her parents or even how she met any future husband she might have. While most people took sweet courtship stories for granted, it was one luxury her life never allowed.
"How did you meet Danny?"
"Through Will," she smiled. The more time that passed, the more relieved she was that the image and memories of her late fiancé brought smiles instead of tears. "He didn't set us up, it was a coincidence. I liked him from the first moment I met him," she remarked, looking over at Vaughn. Then she added, "That seems so long ago now."
"That's really nice though Syd."
"Yeah," she nodded. "It was."
"He'd want you to be happy."
"I know," she smiled. "I'm trying."
Vaughn nodded, "Good."
"I'm going to do it. To find a job, get settled in, to be happy. I just have to find a job first."
"You'll find a job Syd. Any school would be lucky to have you."
"Yeah," she agreed, a distant _expression slipping over her features.
"What's wrong?"
Sydney quickly shook her head, "Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I guess I just got wrapped up in my thoughts."
"About what?" he gently prodded.
"My parents," she answered. Stopping, she turned to fully face him, her hands on her hips. "He was there this morning. My father. His car was there when I left."
Slowly he nodded, "Okay."
"I guess I'm just trying to understand their relationship... I mean, are they still in love... Or is it just about sex?" she pondered. "The more I think about it, the more I realize I don't ever remember my father dating. I never met any of his girlfriends; the housekeeper never even mentioned one... At the time, I thought it was sort of romantic, the one sweet thing about my father. I'd imagined that he'd loved my mother so much that he couldn't even *look* at another woman... I'd come home from boarding school on the weekends and there'd be no sign of someone else being there... There were rarely ever signs of *him* being there," she recalled. "Maybe he does this a lot then. Casual sex..."
Vaughn sighed and leaned against the rail. A moment later she joined him. "I think that there's too much history and pain between your parents... After all the deceit, and all the betrayals... I don't think your father would be with your mother in *any* capacity just to fulfill a... primal need. And maybe you're right, Syd. Maybe your father *did* love your mother too much, so that after she left, he just couldn't find it in himself to want another relationship."
"It's hard for me to see them together... I'm adjusting, but at first it was difficult. Still, I want to believe that. I want to believe that they love each other; that I wasn't the product of some convenient union... I'm thirty years old, you'd think I'd be past needing anything from them."
"I think we always need validation from our parents. Not as much as when we're younger, but validation that they love us, that they need us, that they don't regret our existence..." He looked over at her. "Your parents don't regret you Syd. If anything, they regret hurting you."
"I don't know why it's bothering me so much... Maybe it's because I'm living with them. For the first time since I was a little girl, I'm living with my mom and dad and I can't just avoid it... I can't run from it anymore, not from them or anything."
"You don't need to run Syd."
"I know that now. I think in a way, I always did, I just needed to be reminded of that."
"You're sure of it now?"
"I am," Sydney smiled. "I'm still adjusting. I have the time though... The Alliance is gone, Sloane's gone..." She looked out at the ocean. "I can have the life I want. Not overnight, but I can have it."
"You are many things Syd, but are you that patient?"
"No," she laughed. "But I have time to learn that too."
"Everything will turn out the way you want it to, it's just going to take a while."
"Yeah," she sighed, tilting her head slightly so her temple rested against the side of his arm. "I know."
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com
Story Summary: Sydney's been gone for two years, and Vaughn is married to Alice. What happens when Sydney returns and is forced to accept the new changes that await her in Los Angeles.
A/N: After "The Telling", I hate this story . . . But, I can't stop writing it. Not sure why (okay, I do, you'd all hunt me down & hurt me) but here's the next chapter. Sorry for the delay.
"Hi Dad," Sydney smiled as she pulled open the door and allowed her father into the house shortly after ten in the morning.
"Good morning Sydney," he greeted, his face breaking into a tiny smile when he saw Irina walk into the room.
"How about some coffee?" Irina suggested as she led the three of them into the kitchen.
"It smells good in here," Jack commented offhandedly.
"I started dinner already, we're going to have pork," his wife explained. As she sat at the table Sydney watched the exchange with unhidden interest, searching her mind for some memory of their earlier relationship, before their personas had turned gray and she had still firmly believed in happy endings.
"Sydney I have something for you," Jack revealed as he sat down next to his daughter, coffee in hand. Reaching into his pocket - he was in dark slacks and a sweater, which she realized was as casual as her father would ever become - he handed her a small wrapped box. "Actually it's something that's already yours," he commented as she unwrapped it, revealing a white box.
Holding the box, it reminded her of the type she'd be given after buying earrings from the piercing pagoda in the mall. Pulling the top off, she half expected jewelry but was surprised to see two keys. "What -" she started.
"Your car," Jack explained. "When you left I made the proper arrangements. Now you no longer need your mother's car. I promise that your car is bug free, although I did put a bug killer under the passenger's floor mat."
"You kept my car the entire time?" she whispered.
Jack silently nodded, not bothering to tell her the struggle he went through to be the one to do that. At the time, a certain CIA handler had been vehement that he keep the car. Eventually, it had been the reminder that Jack outranked him in the CIA that sent him off, defeated, giving up a piece of her life that he had desperately wanted to keep. At the time, Jack hadn't seen it, but the younger man had been desperate to keep some piece of her, no matter how small, with him while she was away. In hindsight, it worked out for the best. Somehow Jack doubted Sydney would have approved of the younger agent's *wife* being in her car, or her car being used while the newlyweds were in India.
"Now you can go run your errands, see your friends, look for a job," Irina smiled contently.
"Thank you," she smiled at her father as he nodded with a blank _expression.
"Don't you need to run errands for Francie?" her mother asked.
"I couldn't -" she began to protest, still hesitant to leave her parents alone.
"It's fine Sydney," her father stopped her. The Zen realization that her parents *wanted* time alone was still new to her, and she slowly stood as she nodded.
"Okay... Well, I'll take care of the dress and the cameras. I might stop by Francie's house to pick up some movies and CD's that I have there. Do we need anything while I'm out?"
"We're fine, just be home by dinner," her mother smiled.
"Drive safely," Jack called out as she slipped her jacket on and nodded. Looking at the two of them, sitting across from each other drinking coffee, she smiled before walking out of the house.
Her car was better than ever. During her absence her father had managed to revitalize the car so that it even had the fabulous new-car scent when she hopped into it for the first time in over two years. The radio was on with a brief flick of her wrist and she was delighted that all of her presets were still as they were when she left. Since her return she'd become so dependent on using her mother's car that she'd nearly forgotten her beloved Jeep. Will used to playfully tease her about her attachment to the car. It was, however, the first thing she had purchased from her own money. The car had offered her the first chance she ever had to leave the house behind her, to not have to rely on her father or friends or a nanny. Admittedly, the car was now ten years old, but it ran just as smoothly as the day she had purchased it. Barring any major problems she saw no need to rid herself of the car any time in the near future.
Following Francie's specific directions she dropped the dress off at a cleaner who specialized in the cleaning and preservation of wedding dresses. After that it was off to the film shop, making small chitchat with the handsome store manager as she dropped the cameras off. Getting back on the road she forced herself to try and enjoy the LA traffic - after all, she had only been back for a few scarce days - as she drove the familiar route to her former apartment.
Using her key she let herself into the house, making a mental note to remind her friends that she still had the key. Upon their return they'd be newlyweds, and she doubted they'd want her around for a while. Not that she blamed them. You were only considered a newlywed for so long; the hours, days and weeks that you wore the glow of matrimony only lasted for so long. Needless to say, she didn't resent them for wanting to spend that brief time with only each other.
She froze when she heard the water running in the back bathroom. Silently she shut the front door and made her way to the back of the house, prepared to fight if necessary. Although her skills hadn't been used in years, they were still fresh in her memory and she had no qualms about using them. Slinking through the hallway towards the bedroom, she listened as the water stopped running. Slowly she slid the bedroom door open, and tossed her leg up in a strong kick when she saw someone's back. Instinct kicked back in, and after a few moments of fighting, her suspect was flat on his back gasping for breath.
"Jesus Syd," he muttered as her eyes widened.
"Vaughn!" She instantly felt horrible as she knelt by his side. "What are you doing here?"
"I could," he paused to cough and struggle to gain his breath, "I could ask you the same question."
"I stopped by to get a few things I still had here," she explained, helping him sit up. "What are you doing here?"
"They asked me to water their plants," his voice was strained as he explained. "I thought you'd retired from kickboxing," he teased as she helped pull him to his feet.
"Sorry, instinct." Her cheeks burned as she shrugged. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, I never meant -"
"I'm fine," he cut her off with a half-smile. "When did you get here?"
"A few minutes ago," she shrugged as they walked into the kitchen. "Here," she handed him a glass of cool water.
"Thanks," he smiled and gratefully accepted it. "How'd you get here?"
"I got my car back. Apparently my father's been keeping it the entire time I was gone."
"Everything's okay with it, right? Does it need any work? A tune up?"
"Pristine condition," she smiled. "Watering plants?"
His eyebrows rose as he smirked, "It was either that or take Donovan to the vet. Since Donovan really didn't like that idea, I decided the plants probably would appreciate it if I watered them. So what did you come to get?"
"Just some of my videos and my CD's," she shrugged. "My hidden collection of every John Hughes and Molly Ringwald movie," she conceded as they shared a brief laugh. "What are your weekend plans?" she casually inquired.
"Donovan needs a bath," he remembered. "So what's your favorite?"
"Excuse me?"
"Molly Ringwald or John Hughes movie."
"I love the Breakfast Club," she smiled. "Actually my favorite eighties movie isn't a Hughes or Ringwald film," she recalled as she got her own water.
"My sister has every eighties teen movie imaginable Syd, should I be scared to ask what your favorite is?"
"Maybe," she laughed. "It's definitely a tie between Dirty Dancing and Mystic Pizza. I don't know why I love them so much, but I do."
"First date movie?"
The question caused her eyes to widen as she shook her head. "No. My first date movie was Jurassic Park."
"Jurassic Park?" A single eyebrow gracefully rose on his face as she nodded. "I didn't think that was a dating movie."
"It's not, but I was young and passive."
"Sorry Syd, it's hard for me to ever imagine you bring passive."
"In high school and most of my freshman year of college, I was horrible. Just ask Francie. Anyone could walk over me and I'd just let it slide. I wasn't very outgoing either. If I could have seen some of the outfits I'd wear one day... I'd probably yell at myself to get a sweater."
"You should have watched more James Bond, you would have been more prepared."
"Yeah," she laughed. "Are you sure you're okay? I'm so sorry if I hurt you -"
"I'm fine," he assured her with a half-grin. "A bit sore and admittedly impressed that you can still do that so well, but fine."
"I guess it's like riding a bicycle," she shrugged as she washed out her now-empty water glass.
"Sure," he teased. "Sorry Syd, what you just did to me is *not* like riding a bike."
"Really, it's instinct," she insisted.
"On behalf of all potential burglars everywhere, it's good that not every person has that instinct," he teased.
"Did you get to water the plants?"
"I was about to when you showed off your... abilities." His eyebrow rose as her skin reddened. "Were you training in Armenia and not telling anyone Syd?"
"I was teaching!" she protested before they both laughed. "I'm a little surprised at how easily it came," she confessed. "I was good, wasn't I?"
"Impressive," Vaughn agreed
"I should get my movies," Sydney realized.
"I should go water the plants," he nodded. After a moment they went in opposite directions, Sydney searching through Francie and Will's vast media collection before she gathered half a dozen of her favorites. Minutes later her former handler reappeared, a smile on his face. "So where are you going now?"
"Anywhere but my mother's place. I think my parents basically requested some alone time," she considered. Despite his good manners, he was unable to stop himself before he chuckled at her _expression. "What are your plans? Have you decided to torture Donovan with a vet appointment?"
"No," he shook his head. "I have to do a few more errands. We need dog food and I'm in charge of dinner tonight."
"You cook?"
"I cook," he confirmed to Sydney's surprise.
"Then you need to go," she pointed out and sat down in the living room.
Vaughn nodded, "I need to go," he agreed. "Enjoy your movies."
"Thanks," she smiled as he hesitantly started towards the door.
Half a step from the door he faltered and hesitantly turned back around. "Syd, you want to go jogging?"
"What?" She looked up from her attempts to program the DVD player.
"Not now. Tomorrow morning. At the pier. It's probably been a while, but I'm sure you can keep up with me," he teased.
For a moment she looked down at her lap, her fingers discreetly scratching her head. Half a millisecond went by and he thought he could hear his heart break, certain she was about to turn him down.
"What time?"
"I usually get there around six thirty, or is that too early for you?"
"No," her head shook. "Six thirty's fine," she smiled, her grin only growing at his own heart-stopping smile. "I'll meet you there?"
"Great," he smiled before he slipped out the door.
The next morning he arrived at six, stretching and studying the water in an attempt to not look obvious. Alice was used to his occasional need to slip out of bed early to run; it wasn't something she understood, but wasn't surprised to wake up and see him gone. Still, it wasn't a concern of any priority to him, aware that his wife rarely got out of bed before nine. On the off chance that she would awake, he'd left a note saying he'd gone for a run and would be back before eight.
Her mother's house was quiet the next morning when Sydney slipped out. The otherwise short drive to the pier seemed fantastically long as she slowed down in the parking lot, turning the car off in the spot next to his. As she got out of the car she quickly spotted Vaughn. Unaware of her attention, he was studying the water and absently looking down at his watch. Even in his jogging pants, T-shirt and sneakers, the sight of him put a smile on her face. This was either the most intelligent or foolish thing she had ever agreed to. Truthfully, she wasn't yet sure, but she knew she wasn't willing to lose whatever spot in his life he wanted to offer her.
"Hey."
Vaughn turned around at the melodic sound of her voice. "Hey Syd," he smiled.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" she said gazing out at the water.
"It is," he agreed, looking away. "Do you need to warm up?"
"Nah, I'm ready. You think you can keep up with me?"
"You're not going to give an old man some leniency?"
Sydney rolled her brown eyes, "You're thirty-six Vaughn, that doesn't make you an old man."
"Compared to you it does."
She laughed, "You're acting freaky again."
"Let's run," he smirked as they began to jog together along the pier. "So how long are you going to stay at your mother's?"
"Until I have a job. I do have some savings, but I doubt it's enough for a down payment. When I left, I didn't expect to lose my roommate status to marriage."
"Have you asked them about staying there?"
Her ponytail shook as she silently told him no. "I couldn't. They're going to be newlyweds, they're going to want to be alone. I don't want to intrude on that."
"Would it hurt to ask?"
"I would feel too out of place," she explained. "I'd like my own place anyway. I've never lived on my own, it's about time."
"Not even in college?"
"Not even in college," Sydney replied. "I had a roommate in boarding school, a roommate in college, then I lived with Danny. After that I lived with Francie."
He wanted to ask if she was scared, but it was an insane question. Sydney Bristow was never scared of anything, and even if she were, she wouldn't admit it to anyone. After two years apart, he doubted she'd admit anything to him. There'd been a time, before two had years passed, he had married and the entire world had seemed to flip on to its side, that she would have told him anything. A time where she wanted to tell him everything. Absently, he wondered if such a privilege was lost to him forever.
"Vaughn? You okay?" she called in concern. When he looked over at her, her smile was almost as bright as the rising sun. "You seemed somewhere else for a second. Is everything okay?"
"I'm fine," he smiled. "Are you nervous?" Vaughn tried to casually slip the question into the conversation.
"About what?"
"Living on your own?"
"No, I don't think I'm nervous," she paused, stretching slightly as she deliberated his question. "I guess I'm still not sure where to begin."
"To begin?"
"Yeah," she shrugged as they began to jog again. "I'm starting all over again in Los Angeles. That wasn't my intention when I left, to come back and make a new start, but it's how it worked out. Now I have all these pieces that belong in my old life and I'm not exactly sure how to fit them together."
"Not everything needs to be reassembled Syd."
"In a way it does," Sydney corrected. "My parents are together again - that's something that I still can't quite understand," she conceded. "Will and Francie are together, which is something I probably should have seen coming, but honestly didn't. Everything's just... different," she trailed off. Her body language gave away her discomfort as she shifted her gaze to look at the wooden planks they jogged across.
"Hey," he stopped and gently touched the inside of her elbow. Hesitantly, she stopped and looked at him. The perspiration showed on both of their faces as he took a moment to collect himself. "You know I'm here for you, if you need me, right?"
Sydney smiled and shook her head, "I know Vaughn, but -"
"No," he cut her off. "No 'buts' Sydney," Vaughn's eyebrows rose as he met her eyes. "I'm here."
"Thank you," she spoke softly. After a pause in which they studied one another, she smiled and they began to jog together again.
"Do you want to live near the water?" he asked casually as they moved along the pier.
"If I can afford it, but on a teachers salary it's unlikely."
"You could work as a waitress at the restaurant," he teased. "Make up the difference in the tips."
"Funny," she shot back, still laughing. "When do you suggest I sleep?"
"I thought you didn't need sleep."
"If I could have figured out a way to survive without sleep, my life would have been a *lot* easier," she agreed.
"Syd, if you're serious about living by the water and about being on your own, you could always get another roommate."
"How?" She looked slightly amused. "I'm not going to put an ad in the personals looking for a roommate. I don't know where to begin, but I'm eager to learn."
Vaughn nodded and looked away. For a few minutes the only sound that could be heard was their feet pounding on the planks below and their matched breathing patterns. "How are things with your parents?" he finally asked.
"Fine," she shrugged. "I don't think I'm ever going to get used to it. They're not the parents I remember from when I was little. I know that must not make much sense -"
"I understand," he insisted. "They're not pretending to be perfect Jack and Laura Bristow anymore."
"Exactly. I guess they're more real now, to me and to each other," she mused. "When I was little, I hardly remember them arguing; I don't think either of them saw the flaws in one another... Now they see the flaws. They know what to look for."
"I'm not a big fan of either of your parents Syd," he softly reminded her. "But I give your father a lot of credit. To be able to look past what they went through... I don't know how he does it."
"You don't think you'd be able to do it?" she inquired softly. They both stopped running and fully faced each other.
"If I ever put myself in that position, I'd probably still be kicking myself in the ass for being so blind." Vaughn shook his head, pinched the bridge of his nose and looked away.
"He loves her."
He panted to catch his breath and nodded. "I know," he said glancing quickly at her.
Sydney shrugged and tightened her ponytail. "I don't consider myself naive, especially not when it comes to my parents' ability to deceive..." she paused before she continued, "I guess I still like to believe that in the end, love wins, no matter the betrayal or evil."
"Love wins?"
"Maybe not always," she shrugged again. "I still like to think it does though. A pretty romantic thought for a former spy, huh?" she smiled.
"It's a nice thought Syd," he softly insisted. "Did you get the DVD player to work?"
"Finally. I almost called Marshall though," she admitted to his amusement. "I can defuse a bomb in under a minute but I can't get a DVD to play."
"Progress is not all it's made out to be."
"I think I'll stick to VCR's," Sydney agreed. "I just hope I don't have to use DVD's when I teach."
"I'm sure there are ways around that Syd," he chuckled. "So, what are you going to go by? Ms. Bristow or Miss Bristow?"
Mrs. Vaughn, her mind popped, but she quickly stopped that internal thought. "Miss Bristow, probably," she shrugged. Truthfully she hadn't given it much thought, instead, too preoccupied with trying to get a job. "Do you usually jog here?"
"Sometimes, when it's not too cold. It's easy to think here."
"I love it here," she agreed.
Softly he spoke, "I remember."
"I hope Will and Francie are having a good time."
"I'm sure they are," he insisted. "The weather should be decent for them this time of year."
"Where did you go with Alice?" she asked casually.
Vaughn stopped running and spoke disapprovingly, "Syd."
"What?" She paused with him. The question was perfectly acceptable from one friend to another, but it was the last he would have expected from her.
"We didn't have much of a honeymoon. We stayed at a bed and breakfast in Napa for a few days before we left for India."
"That's a nice area," she casually agreed as they slowly walked to cool down. Quietly he hoped she'd just kick the life out of him and get it over with - it would be far less painful than the avenue of conversation she'd just opened up. "I'd never realized you were so interested in that area."
"I worked there for a few years after I joined," he shrugged. "My father did some work there too. I was familiar with the area and it was a good position."
"Is that why you were born in France? Your father was working there?"
Vaughn smiled and shook his head, only slightly surprised that she knew that little fact about him. "That's actually how my parents met. My dad was working and my mother was in graduate school. She's from France originally," he explained as she nodded. "So, she was in graduate school and to make ends meet she worked as a nanny to a diplomat. My father was friends with the diplomat and over for dinner one evening. They consequently met, fell in love and eventually I came along," he raised an eyebrow and smiled.
"That's a nice story," Sydney agreed. There'd never be a story like that for her to tell, not about her parents or even how she met any future husband she might have. While most people took sweet courtship stories for granted, it was one luxury her life never allowed.
"How did you meet Danny?"
"Through Will," she smiled. The more time that passed, the more relieved she was that the image and memories of her late fiancé brought smiles instead of tears. "He didn't set us up, it was a coincidence. I liked him from the first moment I met him," she remarked, looking over at Vaughn. Then she added, "That seems so long ago now."
"That's really nice though Syd."
"Yeah," she nodded. "It was."
"He'd want you to be happy."
"I know," she smiled. "I'm trying."
Vaughn nodded, "Good."
"I'm going to do it. To find a job, get settled in, to be happy. I just have to find a job first."
"You'll find a job Syd. Any school would be lucky to have you."
"Yeah," she agreed, a distant _expression slipping over her features.
"What's wrong?"
Sydney quickly shook her head, "Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I guess I just got wrapped up in my thoughts."
"About what?" he gently prodded.
"My parents," she answered. Stopping, she turned to fully face him, her hands on her hips. "He was there this morning. My father. His car was there when I left."
Slowly he nodded, "Okay."
"I guess I'm just trying to understand their relationship... I mean, are they still in love... Or is it just about sex?" she pondered. "The more I think about it, the more I realize I don't ever remember my father dating. I never met any of his girlfriends; the housekeeper never even mentioned one... At the time, I thought it was sort of romantic, the one sweet thing about my father. I'd imagined that he'd loved my mother so much that he couldn't even *look* at another woman... I'd come home from boarding school on the weekends and there'd be no sign of someone else being there... There were rarely ever signs of *him* being there," she recalled. "Maybe he does this a lot then. Casual sex..."
Vaughn sighed and leaned against the rail. A moment later she joined him. "I think that there's too much history and pain between your parents... After all the deceit, and all the betrayals... I don't think your father would be with your mother in *any* capacity just to fulfill a... primal need. And maybe you're right, Syd. Maybe your father *did* love your mother too much, so that after she left, he just couldn't find it in himself to want another relationship."
"It's hard for me to see them together... I'm adjusting, but at first it was difficult. Still, I want to believe that. I want to believe that they love each other; that I wasn't the product of some convenient union... I'm thirty years old, you'd think I'd be past needing anything from them."
"I think we always need validation from our parents. Not as much as when we're younger, but validation that they love us, that they need us, that they don't regret our existence..." He looked over at her. "Your parents don't regret you Syd. If anything, they regret hurting you."
"I don't know why it's bothering me so much... Maybe it's because I'm living with them. For the first time since I was a little girl, I'm living with my mom and dad and I can't just avoid it... I can't run from it anymore, not from them or anything."
"You don't need to run Syd."
"I know that now. I think in a way, I always did, I just needed to be reminded of that."
"You're sure of it now?"
"I am," Sydney smiled. "I'm still adjusting. I have the time though... The Alliance is gone, Sloane's gone..." She looked out at the ocean. "I can have the life I want. Not overnight, but I can have it."
"You are many things Syd, but are you that patient?"
"No," she laughed. "But I have time to learn that too."
"Everything will turn out the way you want it to, it's just going to take a while."
"Yeah," she sighed, tilting her head slightly so her temple rested against the side of his arm. "I know."