Even though Hagrid basically told Harry everything he needed to spoil the whole story, he wasn't able to figure out who Hennig Brand was or what the you-know-what actually is. To be fair, he is eleven and this is not at all his responsibility but still. Hermione had two piles of books near her at all times, one researching Brand and one much larger one for studying as finals were coming soon.
Anyway time skip to Hagrid's hut since it is plot relevant, the three of them huddle around.
"Who the heck is Hennig Brand anyway?" Ron asked.
"Well, if you must know, Hennig Brand can be seen casually mentioned in 'Famous, Fabulous and Flamboyant-An Autobiography' by Albus Dumbledore, as well as so many books that mention the inventor of a phosphorus rock!" Hermione said from under her pile of books that were attached to her wherever she went.
"DON'T SAY HIS NAME!" Hagrid yelled.
Harry stared in shock, "Hermione, why didn't you say something sooner? The phosphorus rock must be what's under the trapdoor!" Hagrid started waving his hands in a gesture that probably meant "stop figuring things out and don't ask me any questions about it."
"I've been trying to tell you two since I got back from Christmas break!" Hermione sighed and went back to studying.
"Hagrid, what's the phosphorus rock?" Ron and Harry started questioning him, "And why is Snape trying to steal it?"
"Um, he has long hair, he's emo, and he obviously hates children," Hermione said, rolling her eyes like it was obvious. This sounded like profiling, which aunt petunia loved to do, but Harry didn't say anything since he kind of agreed.
Hagrid spluttered and suddenly his fireplace exploded.
"What the-IS THAT AN EGG?!" Ron yelled. "A DRAGON EGG?!"
Hermione slapped a hand over Ron's mouth and shushed him. "Where did you get a dragon egg, Hagrid?"
"I won it in a bet against some weird guy in a turban down at the Hog's Head! His name was squirrel or something. Anyway, I've always wanted a dragon. All I had to tell him was how to get past Fluffy!" Hagrid was glad to change the subject but he didn't realize how that information could be detrimental in the wrong hands. The egg was shaking violently and spewing boiling water all over the house.
There was a high whistling, like the sound of a kettle boiling, and the egg exploded. The trio ducked as shards of egg shells shot through the hut.
"AW NORBERT! IT'S A BOY!" Hagrid blew into his handkerchief as fat tears fell down his face. The dragon sneezed, and flames shot throughout the entirety of the hut, setting his table on fire. "Look! He knows his mummy!"
Ron and Harry screamed while trying to climb away from the flames while Hermione frantically put the fire out with her wand. Harry tried to put out the flames on Ron's head before he realized that it wasn't fire. It was just his hair. Weird. As if that wasn't bad enough, there was a flash of white at the window, which was definitely Malfoy running away to snitch on them. That kid is kind of obsessed with Harry.
"Hagrid you can't keep this oversized lizard that shoots FLAMES in your WOODEN hut!" Ron cried.
"He just needs to be trained is all!" Hagrid replied while blocking a plume of flame with a pot lid. Norbert was now frantically crawling around on the ceiling and Hermione fled with all of her books. Hagrid was cheering him on and clapping but Harry and Ron were not very amused. In fact, they were worried for their lives and Hagrid's job since Malfoy was most definitely telling Snape right now.
"Hagrid, we have to get Norbert out of here before Draco tells everyone! My brother, Charlie, works with dragons so we can contact him." Harry realized Ron probably has a member of the family with any job imaginable. These connections might be useful in the future.
"I can't give him up, I'm his mummy!"
"Snap out of it Hagrid! You don't even have hut insurance!" Hermione scolded. "We're calling DPS- Dragon Protective Services."
"Don't worry we're picking him up tonight." Then they left. This is exactly what 11 year olds should have to worry about.
The three of them scurried to the Gryffindor tower and Ron hurriedly threw some weird powder into the fireplace which exploded into green flames. Then a head popped out of the fireplace. Weird.
"Hey, what's up, Ginny?" the head in the fireplace greeted while Hermione and Harry stared at who they had thought was Ron.
"I'm not Ginny?" Ron said to their relief. "Anyway, you need to pick up Hagrid's dragon ASAP, he's not fit to be its parent."
"He doesn't even have hut insurance," Harry added helpfully.
"Okay, meet me at the top of the astronomy tower tonight with the dragon, I'll send some of our guys to pick him up." Oh btw this is Charlie Weasley in case you don't have great reading comprehension.
"But how-"
"Bye!"
Well that's just great. Now they have to use their 11 year old minds to figure out how to break school rules and illegally smuggle a dragon across the entire castle while dealing with Malfoy who probably snitched and now they have to deal with professors.
The three of them went back to the hut which was now covered in flames. Luckily they could cast spells and put it out just in time with sprays of water.
"Okay Hagrid. Charlie is gonna fly to the astronomy tower tonight from Romania somehow. Give us Norbert." Harry said. Hagrid was giving the baby dragon a bearhug while it was trying to bite his neck.
"No!" Hagrid struggled to say over Norbert's thrashing.
"Hagrid, give me the dragon!" Hermione jumped in and started pulling on Norbert's tail. Harry and Ron jumped in also and tried to pry Norbert from Hagrid.
"No!" This continued for way too long before Hermione cast a spell that forced Hagrid to release Norbert, which allowed Harry and Ron to wrap him in a blanket. His claws ripped through and smoke started pouring out but they couldn't worry about that right now.
"You'll thank us later when you still have a job and aren't in jail with actual murderers and blood supremacists, Hagrid!" Harry said and they made for the astronomy tower. Hagrid didn't follow them.
"I feel kind of bad, but it had to be done," Hermione said as they ran through the castle with a literal fire breathing creature.
They made it to the top of the tower to see that no one was there to meet them. That was weird since they just left from another country like 5 minutes ago. Pretty soon some guys on brooms showed up and snatched the cage away with a quick wave at them.
"Wait, do you guys hear that?" There were voices coming from around the stairs of the tower.
The voice of Professor McGonagall carried over, "Are you sure that Harry Potter has a dragon? Are you in your right mind?"
Mcgonagall eventually turned and saw the three of them innocently sitting there past curfew. She looked them up and down and clearly saw no dragon anywhere near them. In the distance they could see a small flame, but they decided not to call attention to it.
McGonagall looked at Malfoy with a look that clearly asked 'are you insane?'
"They had one I swear!" Malfoy whined.
"Lying and snitching AREN'T COOL Malfoy!" Harry yelled matter-of-factly and his friends nodded. Some of them even clap at his bravery.
"Detention, Mr. Malfoy." McGonagall said. Harry was about to do a Fortnite dance but then McGonagall burst his bubble, "And you three also have detention for being out past curfew!" OMG NOT FAIR!
"Hopefully our detention isn't cleaning the dungeons or something," Ron whispered.
"You will be going to the forbidden forest."
"WHAT?!" Imagine the camera zooming in on Harry's face and fading to black.