Harry couldn't believe this. He was the boy who lived (BWL) for crying out loud! Why was he getting punished for breaking the rules when McGonagall would've never known if Malfoy hadn't been stalking him? There was no helping it either way, so he just hoped this detention wouldn't be too bad.
"What exactly are we doing?" Malfoy sneered, obviously scared.
"You're helping Hagrid with something. You runts better be thankful that you're serving such an easy detention," Filch said. "Back in the day you would be strung up by your toes in the dungeons!"
What the heck? How was that even allowed? Weird.
"How is the Forbidden Forest suddenly not forbidden?" Hermione asked. "This just doesn't seem safe."
"Shut it, Mudblood! You don't know anything."
Ron suddenly tackled the blond twerp while Harry tried to pull him back.
"Oh, so serving detention in the Forbidden Forest sounds like a really good idea, does it?" Hermione shot back. "Also, Ronald, stop trying to bite him."
"But he called you a-a…M-word!" Ron said from their pile on the ground.
"What? Mudblood?" Hermione asked.
"That's because she IS one!" Malfoy said, trying to get away from Ron's sharp elbows.
"Shut it, a' of you's!" Hagrid's gruff voice interrupted. "We're goin' into the forest ta find a unicorn."
"A what?" Harry asked. Maybe it was because he had grown up under some stairs, but he had never seen a unicorn in the muggle world. Then again, he had only seen snakes and such recently when he had gone to the zoo this year.
Ron and Draco stopped fighting each other at the mention of a unicorn, and Hermione was quickly searching through a dictionary as if they would include a slur in there. Actually who knows with wizards? That's probably all that's in there.
And so Filch left the group of first years with the man who was not allowed to perform magic to serve their detention in the forbidden forest which is full of deadly and dangerous magical monsters. Cool!
After around 30 minutes of trudging through the forest, they all stopped when Hagrid spotted a puddle of some kind of silver liquid.
"Unicorn blood. I'll tell you the truth, we aren't looking for a unicorn. We are looking for what's hunting them…" Hagrid said mysteriously.
"WE ARE WHAT?!" The kids shouted in unison and hundreds of crows dramatically flew into the air. That is so cool!
"Are you gonna piss yourself, Malfoy?" Ron asked a pale Malfoy.
"No!" He denied. "This detention is just preposterous! Wait til my father hears about this!"
"Well, that'll be 'fter we're done huntin' this thing," Hagrid said. "'Arry, Fang an' Malfoy, you go tha' way. Ron an' Hermione, yer with me."
Harry stared at Fang, who didn't look like he was a good substitute for adult supervision, then shrugged. Maybe he was a magical dog that could kill with his bite. That would be weird. But cool.
"I can't believe I'm stuck with the boy who lived," Malfoy scoffed. Which was silly of him, since Harry was pretty sure he had plot armor, being the chosen one and all.
They walked in the dark forest for a while but didn't really see anything. Then they went home and everything was ok. Just kidding but wouldn't that be so funny. Lol. Anyway, they saw a trail of silver liquid on the forest floor which was really weird.
"What…IS THAT?!" Malfoy screamed, pointing at something in the dark.
Harry turned to see a dark mass SLURPING the blood out of a unicorn! Not even with a straw! With its mouth!
Malfoy screamed and ran away, totally abandoning Harry, which was NOT COOL, MALFOY! But maybe it was a smart decision, since Harry was the chosen one and Malfoy was just…Malfoy.
Suddenly, the dark and shadowy and creepy and evil mass looked up at Harry and its mouth was dripping with the silver blood. Harry's head felt like it was exploding with how much pain struck him.
"Snape?!" Harry yelled and fell to the ground. The figure started slithering towards him aggressively, and Harry heard what sounded like high heels quickly clacking against the dirt of the clearing. A horrible thought appeared in his head: perhaps he didn't have plot armor afterall.
"NO!" He yelled and pointed his wand at the figure, which was now standing directly over him. An explosion of light shook the trees and the figure fled into the darkness.
Once the dust settled and Harry's pain disappeared he stood up. "Huh, I actually do have plot armor afterall! At least for now… I better get back to Hagrid before that thing comes back and puts it to the test!"
There was a clip-clopping from the distance and suddenly- A CENTAUR!
Right in front of Harry was a half man half horse.
"Hello, Chosen One," the centaur greeted. "I will take you back. Hop on."
Harry was lifted onto the centaur's back, which was weird, but also cool.
"How do you know who I am?" Harry asked, trying not to feel weird about holding onto the man as they galloped through the forest.
"The stars tell me many things, Chosen One. My crystals as well." He craned his neck up at the sky. "The stars tell me that you will go through character development unlike other parallel timelines."
"Er, what?"
"Don't worry too much about it."
The centaur that Harry blindly trusted actually did take him back to his friends, which was good. Seriously though, he needs to learn about stranger danger. The Dursley's never taught it to him because they always hoped he would get kidnapped. Not even secretly either.
Before they reached them though, another centaur skipped and hopped into the forest in front of them.
"What are you doing, Firenze! You have a human riding on top of you! I'll get the exterminators…" The large centaur turned to leave.
"No! I'm escorting the chosen one to safety!" Firenze shouted to stop him
"The chosen-" The centaur sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Firenze, we've talked about this."
"Sagittarius' position told me you would be skeptical, but alas I have no time to argue with you. I have to bring him back to his friends quickly."
"You… talked to the Sagittarius constellation…?"
"Good day." And with that, Firenze took off into the forest. Harry didn't ask him any questions. After a few moments they reunited with Hagrid and the others. Even Mafloy was there.
"Firenze! And you've got 'arry!" Hagrid yelled and scooped up Harry off of the centaur.
"I was just following the crystals," Firenze said.
"Hagrid, there was a guy sucking the blood from a unicorn!" Harry said. "It was definitely Snape, I could tell."
"..." Hagrid stared at him before shaking his head. "DON'T SAY HIS NAME!"
"Wait, it was sucking unicorn blood?" Hermione asked. "Why would it do that?"
"When mars is in retrograde, the blood of the unicorn gains even stronger properties than it usually has," Firenze said somberly. "Unicorn blood is known for granting eternal life. However, there is a price. You will live a cursed life, a half life."
"Like Uranium?" Hermione asked.
"What." Firenze was confused. So was Harry. Was that some kind of spell?
"The only thing that can truly grant eternal life, or as close as you can get at least, is phosphorus. And there is only one known phosphorus rock." Firenze said and then winked at Harry aggressively. Weird?
"We should ead back t' the castle," Hagrid said.
Harry waved goodbye to Firenze, who was smoking something, and they trudged their way out of the forbidden forest. He wondered what the deal was with Snape, who would choose to become cursed just for some fancy unicorn blood. Well, if you seem evil, then you are evil, Harry supposed.