A/N: Last chapter's finally up! A bit later than promised, but up all the
same. I just realized I haven't done a disclaimer, and those can be so much
fun.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter (dagnabbit!), nor do I own Legally
Blond or the Snap Cup, which is good, because after a while, I would be
forced to kill all those giggly blond people. Giggly blond people get on my
nerves.
Snaps For Severus!
Chapter Five: Snaps For Severus!
The ink flowing from the hollowed out insides of Severus's colleague's
quills reminded him of a bullet exploding from the end of a Muggle gun. The
soft scratching of these quills upon parchment reminded him of the dry,
resounding click of a gun being cocked, having heard the sound once before,
after being jumped by a foolish Muggle one dark night, remembered the
feeling of the cold metal nestled perfectly in his temple. The fear was
nothing to that which he felt now, for he had had the luxury of killing the
stupid Muggle, and such was not the case with his colleagues.
He was being judged again. It was like being trialed before the
Ministry of Magic for the second time, but he could tell by the looks on
the rest of the staff's faces that they would not be quite so forgiving.
The look on McGonagall's face was one Severus had not seen since
Gryfindor won the Quidditch Cup for the first time in seven years. Grinning
like a mad woman, she scribbled furiously, occasionally looking up at
Severus, sizing him up in a way that a cat surveys a bird with a broken
wing.
Lupin's joy seemed beyond facial expression. He just wrote calmly,
chuckling to himself every now and then in a creepily serene manner, same
pleasant smile on his face as always. Once again, it was Lupin's behavior
that worried Severus most.
"Well, it appears as if everyone is finished." Dumbledore smiled
around at all of them. Severus sat up straight, dignity still intact for
now at least. Judgment Day had come.
"Let's see what everyone had to say about Severus!" And the
Headmaster picked up the Snap Cup, drew out a slip of parchment, and began
to read.
To put it lightly, it wasn't nice. "Severus," wrote Professor Sprout, "Is a
wonderful spy for the side of good. He never drops his character. He even
manages to play the part of an evil, bloodthirsty Death Eater around his
students and fellow teachers." Hooch made some comment about how it was
quite impressive how Severus managed not to drown the entire school in a
river a mucus when he caught cold, considering the size of his nasal
orifices; Flitwick said that he could single-handedly solve all of the
Muggles' fuel supply problems by donating them the grease on his head; and
Trelawney informed him that his aura was the most dazzling shade of onyx
she'd ever seen. No, it wasn't that nice at all.
"Ah!" exclaimed Dumbledore excitedly. "Here's Minerva's!" The room was as
silent as the dead. No one spoke, no one breathed, and no one sniggered,
much to Severus's relief as people had been doing that quite a lot
recently. Dumbledore looked at what McGonagall had written, then unfolded
that page once, twice, three times. "It seems," said Dumbledore "that
Minerva had about ten inches of parchment's worth of wonderful things to
say about Severus. Well, we have time I suppose! Minerva writes, 'Severus
was always a favorite student of mine. I watched his progress closely and
his character always impressed me. For instance, I admired how he always
refrained from abusing his skill at the Dark Arts when first year girls
beat him up. I also like the way Severus wears his hair. The Kurt-Cobain-
Falls-In-A-Tub-Of-Axel-Grease look really is charming on him. And Severus
is so forgiving! He would never ever, for example, hold a grudge against a
boy whose father he hated, when the father's been dead for almost fifteen
years! And finally, I would like to say that it is a true miracle that
Severus can walk around at all without bumping into people, as his head is
obviously shoved much to far up his own ass to allow for normal vision.'"
The silence that followed was more resounding and complete than any Severus
had ever heard before in his life. He could feel a crimson blush creep
slowly into his sallow face. The affect must have been charming. McGonagall
didn't smile, only sat proud and erect, with a look of satisfaction on her
face, feeling that, at long last, justice had been served.
"Well...." Dumbledore trailed off. "Er.. Snaps for Severus, everyone!" No
one snapped, they only sat there in shocked silence, staring in turn at
either McGonagall or Severus. Choosing to ignore the uncomfortable silence
filling the room in the absence of snaps, Dumbledore cleared his throat and
took out the next slip of parchment.
'Dumbledore, no!' thought Snape. He was still reeling from the blow
from McGonagall, and there was only one person left whose parchment had not
been read. One mild-mannered, lycanthropic person, smiling politely and
waiting for his comments to be shared.
"This one is from Remus!" said Dumbledore. "It's always so nice to
see old school friends still getting along after all these years. Let's see
what he wrote."
Severus's heart was pounding in his throat. He looked around
desperately. There had to be some way out. Windows closed, door closed.
Dumbledore could stun him before he managed to open one of them. Severus's
mind was churning. Where could he hide? He had nothing. He was trapped.
Severus viewed it as if in slow motion. Dumbledore unfolding the
parchment. His colleagues sitting up and looking expectantly at him. The
headmaster's mouth opening as he began to speak. This was it. The
countdown. It was all over now.
"Remus writes," said Dumbledore, "'I admire Severus's style. When I
was in my sixth year at Hogwarts, Sirius convinced me to get a tattoo, but
I ended up not getting one since I could never find one that really
expressed me. Severus, however, has a tattoo that matches his personality
perfectly.'"
Quicker than a flash Severus was on his feet, wand out and pointed at
Lupin's chest, breathing hard as if he's just run a marathon. Lupin was
standing opposite him, in the same position, glaring at Severus, conveying
all of his suppressed rage toward the ex-Death Eater with one look. No one
else in the staff room moved, a mixture of shock and pure curiosity keeping
them from intervening.
"Damn you, Lupin," Severus hissed. "You have no idea what its
like...no idea..."
Lupin didn't answer, just stood, steady as a rock and ready to fight.
Severus stared back at him, sizing up the situation. He was beginning
to regret jumping to his feet at such haste. Lupin wasn't one to fight at
any tiny insult, as his late friends had been. He was more the type to
offer you a cup of tea and invite you to sit down for a while, to work
things out like rational adults. But the last time Severus had seen Lupin
angry, truly angry, and dueling, the subject of his anger had come out a
bit worse for the wear, to say the very least. In short, Severus knew that
Lupin could quite easily sever his ass from the rest of his body, and
would, if offered any further provocation.
"Now really, Remus, Severus." McGonagall had spoken up, emerging from
her state of shock. She still seemed very surprised to see such behavior
out of the two men, especially Lupin. "I don't think you two need to resort
to such childish beha-"
"Ah!" Severus grasped his left forearm, which was burning painfully.
He whipped his head around, thinking Lupin had decided to play dirty and
curse him while his head was turned, but Lupin still stood in the same
position, a curious expression on his face. And then Severus realized...
The mark. He was being summoned.
He paled instantly. "Headmaster," he said quickly, turning to
Dumbledore. "I have to go."
Dumbledore nodded gravely. Lupin lowered his wand, still glaring, as
Severus stowed his own in the pocket of his robes. Severus strode briskly
across the room and grabbed his black traveling cloak from off the hat
stand. He tossed it on, letting it fall down onto his shoulders. It was
warm outside, but Severus suddenly felt slightly chilled. He gave one last
nod of acknowledgement to his shocked colleagues and opened the door.
"Severus." It was Dumbledore.
"Yes?" Severus asked.
Dumbledore looked at him, concern for the cold, bitter man before him in
his face. "Good luck," he said. Severus nodded. "Thank you," he said, and
walked out the door, letting it swing shut behind him with a snap.
"He was faking it," said Lupin instantly, the second the door had
clicked shut. "Just to get out of dueling me. That coward."
"No," said Dumbledore certainly. "No, he wasn't." For Albus
Dumbledore had known Severus Snape for quite a long time. He knew the man
was a good actor, but he also recognized the unmistakable look of pain and
masked fear on Severus's face, and knew, without a doubt, that he was not
faking it.
"Severus has been summoned for duty by Lord Voldemort once again." And then
Dumbledore turned to the rest of his staff, smiling slightly at them all.
"And that," he said, "Is what I like best about Severus. Snaps for Severus,
everyone."
And this time, everyone snapped.
A/N2: Yes, I know, a little unexpected, but I had to find some way to end
this piece of crap. Actually, I really enjoyed writing this. It's the
longest fic I've ever written, so reward me and review, review, review to
your heart's content.
Na Zdarovie,
Athalia.
same. I just realized I haven't done a disclaimer, and those can be so much
fun.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter (dagnabbit!), nor do I own Legally
Blond or the Snap Cup, which is good, because after a while, I would be
forced to kill all those giggly blond people. Giggly blond people get on my
nerves.
Snaps For Severus!
Chapter Five: Snaps For Severus!
The ink flowing from the hollowed out insides of Severus's colleague's
quills reminded him of a bullet exploding from the end of a Muggle gun. The
soft scratching of these quills upon parchment reminded him of the dry,
resounding click of a gun being cocked, having heard the sound once before,
after being jumped by a foolish Muggle one dark night, remembered the
feeling of the cold metal nestled perfectly in his temple. The fear was
nothing to that which he felt now, for he had had the luxury of killing the
stupid Muggle, and such was not the case with his colleagues.
He was being judged again. It was like being trialed before the
Ministry of Magic for the second time, but he could tell by the looks on
the rest of the staff's faces that they would not be quite so forgiving.
The look on McGonagall's face was one Severus had not seen since
Gryfindor won the Quidditch Cup for the first time in seven years. Grinning
like a mad woman, she scribbled furiously, occasionally looking up at
Severus, sizing him up in a way that a cat surveys a bird with a broken
wing.
Lupin's joy seemed beyond facial expression. He just wrote calmly,
chuckling to himself every now and then in a creepily serene manner, same
pleasant smile on his face as always. Once again, it was Lupin's behavior
that worried Severus most.
"Well, it appears as if everyone is finished." Dumbledore smiled
around at all of them. Severus sat up straight, dignity still intact for
now at least. Judgment Day had come.
"Let's see what everyone had to say about Severus!" And the
Headmaster picked up the Snap Cup, drew out a slip of parchment, and began
to read.
To put it lightly, it wasn't nice. "Severus," wrote Professor Sprout, "Is a
wonderful spy for the side of good. He never drops his character. He even
manages to play the part of an evil, bloodthirsty Death Eater around his
students and fellow teachers." Hooch made some comment about how it was
quite impressive how Severus managed not to drown the entire school in a
river a mucus when he caught cold, considering the size of his nasal
orifices; Flitwick said that he could single-handedly solve all of the
Muggles' fuel supply problems by donating them the grease on his head; and
Trelawney informed him that his aura was the most dazzling shade of onyx
she'd ever seen. No, it wasn't that nice at all.
"Ah!" exclaimed Dumbledore excitedly. "Here's Minerva's!" The room was as
silent as the dead. No one spoke, no one breathed, and no one sniggered,
much to Severus's relief as people had been doing that quite a lot
recently. Dumbledore looked at what McGonagall had written, then unfolded
that page once, twice, three times. "It seems," said Dumbledore "that
Minerva had about ten inches of parchment's worth of wonderful things to
say about Severus. Well, we have time I suppose! Minerva writes, 'Severus
was always a favorite student of mine. I watched his progress closely and
his character always impressed me. For instance, I admired how he always
refrained from abusing his skill at the Dark Arts when first year girls
beat him up. I also like the way Severus wears his hair. The Kurt-Cobain-
Falls-In-A-Tub-Of-Axel-Grease look really is charming on him. And Severus
is so forgiving! He would never ever, for example, hold a grudge against a
boy whose father he hated, when the father's been dead for almost fifteen
years! And finally, I would like to say that it is a true miracle that
Severus can walk around at all without bumping into people, as his head is
obviously shoved much to far up his own ass to allow for normal vision.'"
The silence that followed was more resounding and complete than any Severus
had ever heard before in his life. He could feel a crimson blush creep
slowly into his sallow face. The affect must have been charming. McGonagall
didn't smile, only sat proud and erect, with a look of satisfaction on her
face, feeling that, at long last, justice had been served.
"Well...." Dumbledore trailed off. "Er.. Snaps for Severus, everyone!" No
one snapped, they only sat there in shocked silence, staring in turn at
either McGonagall or Severus. Choosing to ignore the uncomfortable silence
filling the room in the absence of snaps, Dumbledore cleared his throat and
took out the next slip of parchment.
'Dumbledore, no!' thought Snape. He was still reeling from the blow
from McGonagall, and there was only one person left whose parchment had not
been read. One mild-mannered, lycanthropic person, smiling politely and
waiting for his comments to be shared.
"This one is from Remus!" said Dumbledore. "It's always so nice to
see old school friends still getting along after all these years. Let's see
what he wrote."
Severus's heart was pounding in his throat. He looked around
desperately. There had to be some way out. Windows closed, door closed.
Dumbledore could stun him before he managed to open one of them. Severus's
mind was churning. Where could he hide? He had nothing. He was trapped.
Severus viewed it as if in slow motion. Dumbledore unfolding the
parchment. His colleagues sitting up and looking expectantly at him. The
headmaster's mouth opening as he began to speak. This was it. The
countdown. It was all over now.
"Remus writes," said Dumbledore, "'I admire Severus's style. When I
was in my sixth year at Hogwarts, Sirius convinced me to get a tattoo, but
I ended up not getting one since I could never find one that really
expressed me. Severus, however, has a tattoo that matches his personality
perfectly.'"
Quicker than a flash Severus was on his feet, wand out and pointed at
Lupin's chest, breathing hard as if he's just run a marathon. Lupin was
standing opposite him, in the same position, glaring at Severus, conveying
all of his suppressed rage toward the ex-Death Eater with one look. No one
else in the staff room moved, a mixture of shock and pure curiosity keeping
them from intervening.
"Damn you, Lupin," Severus hissed. "You have no idea what its
like...no idea..."
Lupin didn't answer, just stood, steady as a rock and ready to fight.
Severus stared back at him, sizing up the situation. He was beginning
to regret jumping to his feet at such haste. Lupin wasn't one to fight at
any tiny insult, as his late friends had been. He was more the type to
offer you a cup of tea and invite you to sit down for a while, to work
things out like rational adults. But the last time Severus had seen Lupin
angry, truly angry, and dueling, the subject of his anger had come out a
bit worse for the wear, to say the very least. In short, Severus knew that
Lupin could quite easily sever his ass from the rest of his body, and
would, if offered any further provocation.
"Now really, Remus, Severus." McGonagall had spoken up, emerging from
her state of shock. She still seemed very surprised to see such behavior
out of the two men, especially Lupin. "I don't think you two need to resort
to such childish beha-"
"Ah!" Severus grasped his left forearm, which was burning painfully.
He whipped his head around, thinking Lupin had decided to play dirty and
curse him while his head was turned, but Lupin still stood in the same
position, a curious expression on his face. And then Severus realized...
The mark. He was being summoned.
He paled instantly. "Headmaster," he said quickly, turning to
Dumbledore. "I have to go."
Dumbledore nodded gravely. Lupin lowered his wand, still glaring, as
Severus stowed his own in the pocket of his robes. Severus strode briskly
across the room and grabbed his black traveling cloak from off the hat
stand. He tossed it on, letting it fall down onto his shoulders. It was
warm outside, but Severus suddenly felt slightly chilled. He gave one last
nod of acknowledgement to his shocked colleagues and opened the door.
"Severus." It was Dumbledore.
"Yes?" Severus asked.
Dumbledore looked at him, concern for the cold, bitter man before him in
his face. "Good luck," he said. Severus nodded. "Thank you," he said, and
walked out the door, letting it swing shut behind him with a snap.
"He was faking it," said Lupin instantly, the second the door had
clicked shut. "Just to get out of dueling me. That coward."
"No," said Dumbledore certainly. "No, he wasn't." For Albus
Dumbledore had known Severus Snape for quite a long time. He knew the man
was a good actor, but he also recognized the unmistakable look of pain and
masked fear on Severus's face, and knew, without a doubt, that he was not
faking it.
"Severus has been summoned for duty by Lord Voldemort once again." And then
Dumbledore turned to the rest of his staff, smiling slightly at them all.
"And that," he said, "Is what I like best about Severus. Snaps for Severus,
everyone."
And this time, everyone snapped.
A/N2: Yes, I know, a little unexpected, but I had to find some way to end
this piece of crap. Actually, I really enjoyed writing this. It's the
longest fic I've ever written, so reward me and review, review, review to
your heart's content.
Na Zdarovie,
Athalia.