Chapter Two: Birds of a Feather
Author's Note: Chapter Two and I still don't own anyone, except the crew of The Horizon of course :D. No reviews yet, but I've gotten used to that by now (some sort of curse, I hope, and not horrible writing). More action and humour in this chapter, so I'm hoping to stimulate SOME interest. If not, then I think I'll just forget about it. Hoping to get... say, 4 reviews before an update (wishful thinking). Not much to add... If you're wondering what in the world my character looks like, be patient, it shall all come with time! Enjoy (hopefully)!
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" Bring down those sails, they're much too dirty!" ordered the woman who dared to touch the wheel of the Black Pearl.
Behind her, hordes of men scurried to and fro, moving packages around and lowering the sails, as had been ordered. Jack Sparrow had made his way back onto his ship and approached the woman.
" Excuse me miss, but may I inquire as to what you and your men are doing... ON MY SHIP???" asked Jack, in an unusually frantic tone of voice.
" Well, I'm simply commandeering your ship so I can put half of my men on this one and make double the profit I'm making now..." she answered absent- mindedly as she inspected the deck, kicking it at a few spots.
" Stop kicking my boat! You can't just come here and steal my boat... It's MY BOAT!" fumed Jack, throwing his hands in the air as to ask the skies for some support.
" But it's such a pretty boat..." she answered with a mock pout.
"... Yes I know it is, that's why I want to KEEP IT! ... For ME!" he continued.
The rest of Jack's crew had followed and were staring at this bizarre display.
" Shouldn't we be doing something?" asked Anamaria to Gibbs in a whisper.
" Oh no, don't be worryin' lass. Jack's a great negotiator! We'll have our ship back in no time," he answered in a comforting tone.
" I'm very sorry, but my own ship is getting a bit crowded and I promised my men I'd get them a new one. You wouldn't want me breakin' promises to my own men, now would you?" asked the no-name woman.
" I think there's something you don't quite understand... This is MY BOAT! I'm CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW, and you cannot commandeer CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW'S boat! You just can't! I'm sorry! People have tried, they've failed, I've won, they've tried again, they just quit... It just CANNOT be done!" tried to reason Jack.
The woman finally lifted her eyes to look at Jack and a spark flashed behind her eyes, as if someone had lit a candle in her head.
" Wait... You're Jack Sparrow?" she asked in awe.
" It's Captain... CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, yes! And this is MY boat, the Black Pearl, it's mine.... My boat... Not yours," he answered in snippets.
" Wow, so you're really Jack Sparrow," she started, not noticing Jack's wince at the mention of his name without the word "captain". " You're Jack the most daft of all pirates Sparrow! The legendary ruthless, black hearted, ravaging pirate, the greatest pirate of all Spanish Main! My absolutely biggest idol Jack Sparrow!" she continued, her voice's pitch raising higher and higher.
" Yes... Well I'm glad you've heard of me," he replied smugly with a wink.
" It's an absolute honour to be commandeering your ship, Mr. Sparrow," she exclaimed with a nearly psychotic smile, enthusiastically shaking his hand. " I must thank you! You've made a dream of mine come true!" she said, whipping the air with her frantic hand movements, still clearly extremely enthused. Regaining her composure, she continued. "I wish I could keep this conversation going on forever, but my men are getting a bit restless. David, Willie, could you please show Mr. Sparrow off now. We best be leaving soon," she said with a ring of finality in her voice.
Two massive men came and grabbed Jack from under the arms and carried him towards the edge of the ship, pushing the rest of the original crew towards it as well.
" Careful you two, that's Jack Sparrow you're carrying around. Show a little respect!" commented the woman.
" Wait! Wait wait wait! There's been a misunderstanding... Miss!" shouted Jack. " You know, you look like a nice lad, I like you already," added Jack to one of the men carrying him, who, in response, only glared menacingly at him.
" Great negotiator, you said Gibbs?" asked Anamaria, her eyes nothing but little slits as she stared at the scene.
" Wait! Wait... Parlé! Parlé, you two big oafs!" exclaimed Jack.
The men stopped in their tracks and turned towards their captain, who began to laugh.
" Parlé, what a classic! Common boys, let's see what he wants," said the woman, gesturing her hands for Jack to come forward.
Jack dusted his sleeves and straightened his hat before starting his negotiations.
" Now, first of all, I think we'd all be very pleased to know your name, and where the blast are you all from?" he asked.
" Simple enough. My name is Catherine Crowe and..." she started.
" Wait wait wait, love... Your name... is Crowe? As in the bird? As in you're named after a bird?" asked Jack, perplexed.
" Yes, Crowe as in a crow as in a bird as in a thing with wings that go flappedy flappedy. Why is that so surprising?" inquired Catherine Crowe.
"... Is that your... Reeeaaal name?" slurred Jack, still evidently confused.
" Yes, it's my real name! Why wouldn't it be my real name? What is your problem with my reeeaaal name, Mr. Sparrow?" she asked, clearly insulted.
" Err..." he started, his fingers slightly twitching at the thought of how to approach the matter. " Never mind, it's a lovely name, a wondrous name. Now, lass, I'm sure we can work something out... What can I give YOU to keep MY boat?"
" I'm very sorry Mr. Sparrow, but I really need a new ship and this one is just too pretty to pass up! You really will have to find a new boat," she replied.
" What's wrong with your old boat? It's not damaged, and it's very... err.. Very nice looking!" he added quickly, with a point of his ringed finger.
" I'll have you know it's much more than just nice looking, Mr. Sparrow! The Horizon is my precious and I wouldn't part with it. Like I said, I need this ship for my men and for gold!" she responded, slightly annoyed.
" What was that, love? The Horizon?" he asked, even more perplexed than before.
" Yes, the Horizon... My ship, Mr. Sparrow," she replied.
" For God's sake, lass, call me Captain Jack! None of that "Mr. Sparrow" rubbish, pleeeaaase!' he exclaimed with emphasis.
" Jack, stop this nonsense! Let's just take the Black Pearl back by force!" shouted Anamaria.
Jack turned sharply on his heels and gesture her to stop.
" I'm negotiating here, Ana. NEGOTIATION. Let Captain Jack handle it, will you?" said Jack waving his arms back and forth with an air of confidence.
" They're at the very least twice as much as we are, Anamaria. I doubt we'd last very long..." whispered Gibbs as Jack continued his negotiations.
" Now, love... As you know, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. I must be of SOME assistance somehow to you! There must be SOMETHING I could do that would make a fair deal... Didn't a certain someone say a certain someone else was the certain someone in question's idol, then?" he asked with a smile, his hands together.
Captain Catherine Crowe (flappedy flappedy :P) glanced over at Jack's crew and thought for a moment.
" In reality... I can think of something that will advantage us both... Sail under my command. I could use your expertise! You get a third of my men under your authority and I get 40 percent of your plunder. How about it then, Captain Jack?" she offered.
" Sail under the command of a woman? Captain Jack Sparrow? Is she completely out of her mind???" Jack thought to himself.
" DEAL!" he exclaimed, followed by gasps coming from his crew members.
" You had better think, and think fast, you idiot... You're going to get yourself into a load of trouble," he continued to muse internally.
" Lead the way then, love," said Jack, walking towards Catherine Crowe.
" I'm going to kill you Jack Sparrow!" hissed Anamaria under her breath.
Jack turned around, catching the threat, and mouthed to his crew "NEGOTIATION!".
" I'm just waiting for the opportune moment," he added to them in a whisper, shaking as head as to tell them not to worry.
" Come on boys, keep transferring the provisions! We got some newcomers in our crew! And I still want those filthy sails down, you scallywags!" ordered Catherine.
Gibbs looked on at the display and sighed.
" A sparrow and a crow, each more daft than the other. I wouldn't be surprised if we end up at the bottom of the ocean, in Davey Jones' Locker by tomorrow..."
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To Be Continued...?
Author's Note: Chapter Two and I still don't own anyone, except the crew of The Horizon of course :D. No reviews yet, but I've gotten used to that by now (some sort of curse, I hope, and not horrible writing). More action and humour in this chapter, so I'm hoping to stimulate SOME interest. If not, then I think I'll just forget about it. Hoping to get... say, 4 reviews before an update (wishful thinking). Not much to add... If you're wondering what in the world my character looks like, be patient, it shall all come with time! Enjoy (hopefully)!
**********§**********
" Bring down those sails, they're much too dirty!" ordered the woman who dared to touch the wheel of the Black Pearl.
Behind her, hordes of men scurried to and fro, moving packages around and lowering the sails, as had been ordered. Jack Sparrow had made his way back onto his ship and approached the woman.
" Excuse me miss, but may I inquire as to what you and your men are doing... ON MY SHIP???" asked Jack, in an unusually frantic tone of voice.
" Well, I'm simply commandeering your ship so I can put half of my men on this one and make double the profit I'm making now..." she answered absent- mindedly as she inspected the deck, kicking it at a few spots.
" Stop kicking my boat! You can't just come here and steal my boat... It's MY BOAT!" fumed Jack, throwing his hands in the air as to ask the skies for some support.
" But it's such a pretty boat..." she answered with a mock pout.
"... Yes I know it is, that's why I want to KEEP IT! ... For ME!" he continued.
The rest of Jack's crew had followed and were staring at this bizarre display.
" Shouldn't we be doing something?" asked Anamaria to Gibbs in a whisper.
" Oh no, don't be worryin' lass. Jack's a great negotiator! We'll have our ship back in no time," he answered in a comforting tone.
" I'm very sorry, but my own ship is getting a bit crowded and I promised my men I'd get them a new one. You wouldn't want me breakin' promises to my own men, now would you?" asked the no-name woman.
" I think there's something you don't quite understand... This is MY BOAT! I'm CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW, and you cannot commandeer CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW'S boat! You just can't! I'm sorry! People have tried, they've failed, I've won, they've tried again, they just quit... It just CANNOT be done!" tried to reason Jack.
The woman finally lifted her eyes to look at Jack and a spark flashed behind her eyes, as if someone had lit a candle in her head.
" Wait... You're Jack Sparrow?" she asked in awe.
" It's Captain... CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, yes! And this is MY boat, the Black Pearl, it's mine.... My boat... Not yours," he answered in snippets.
" Wow, so you're really Jack Sparrow," she started, not noticing Jack's wince at the mention of his name without the word "captain". " You're Jack the most daft of all pirates Sparrow! The legendary ruthless, black hearted, ravaging pirate, the greatest pirate of all Spanish Main! My absolutely biggest idol Jack Sparrow!" she continued, her voice's pitch raising higher and higher.
" Yes... Well I'm glad you've heard of me," he replied smugly with a wink.
" It's an absolute honour to be commandeering your ship, Mr. Sparrow," she exclaimed with a nearly psychotic smile, enthusiastically shaking his hand. " I must thank you! You've made a dream of mine come true!" she said, whipping the air with her frantic hand movements, still clearly extremely enthused. Regaining her composure, she continued. "I wish I could keep this conversation going on forever, but my men are getting a bit restless. David, Willie, could you please show Mr. Sparrow off now. We best be leaving soon," she said with a ring of finality in her voice.
Two massive men came and grabbed Jack from under the arms and carried him towards the edge of the ship, pushing the rest of the original crew towards it as well.
" Careful you two, that's Jack Sparrow you're carrying around. Show a little respect!" commented the woman.
" Wait! Wait wait wait! There's been a misunderstanding... Miss!" shouted Jack. " You know, you look like a nice lad, I like you already," added Jack to one of the men carrying him, who, in response, only glared menacingly at him.
" Great negotiator, you said Gibbs?" asked Anamaria, her eyes nothing but little slits as she stared at the scene.
" Wait! Wait... Parlé! Parlé, you two big oafs!" exclaimed Jack.
The men stopped in their tracks and turned towards their captain, who began to laugh.
" Parlé, what a classic! Common boys, let's see what he wants," said the woman, gesturing her hands for Jack to come forward.
Jack dusted his sleeves and straightened his hat before starting his negotiations.
" Now, first of all, I think we'd all be very pleased to know your name, and where the blast are you all from?" he asked.
" Simple enough. My name is Catherine Crowe and..." she started.
" Wait wait wait, love... Your name... is Crowe? As in the bird? As in you're named after a bird?" asked Jack, perplexed.
" Yes, Crowe as in a crow as in a bird as in a thing with wings that go flappedy flappedy. Why is that so surprising?" inquired Catherine Crowe.
"... Is that your... Reeeaaal name?" slurred Jack, still evidently confused.
" Yes, it's my real name! Why wouldn't it be my real name? What is your problem with my reeeaaal name, Mr. Sparrow?" she asked, clearly insulted.
" Err..." he started, his fingers slightly twitching at the thought of how to approach the matter. " Never mind, it's a lovely name, a wondrous name. Now, lass, I'm sure we can work something out... What can I give YOU to keep MY boat?"
" I'm very sorry Mr. Sparrow, but I really need a new ship and this one is just too pretty to pass up! You really will have to find a new boat," she replied.
" What's wrong with your old boat? It's not damaged, and it's very... err.. Very nice looking!" he added quickly, with a point of his ringed finger.
" I'll have you know it's much more than just nice looking, Mr. Sparrow! The Horizon is my precious and I wouldn't part with it. Like I said, I need this ship for my men and for gold!" she responded, slightly annoyed.
" What was that, love? The Horizon?" he asked, even more perplexed than before.
" Yes, the Horizon... My ship, Mr. Sparrow," she replied.
" For God's sake, lass, call me Captain Jack! None of that "Mr. Sparrow" rubbish, pleeeaaase!' he exclaimed with emphasis.
" Jack, stop this nonsense! Let's just take the Black Pearl back by force!" shouted Anamaria.
Jack turned sharply on his heels and gesture her to stop.
" I'm negotiating here, Ana. NEGOTIATION. Let Captain Jack handle it, will you?" said Jack waving his arms back and forth with an air of confidence.
" They're at the very least twice as much as we are, Anamaria. I doubt we'd last very long..." whispered Gibbs as Jack continued his negotiations.
" Now, love... As you know, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. I must be of SOME assistance somehow to you! There must be SOMETHING I could do that would make a fair deal... Didn't a certain someone say a certain someone else was the certain someone in question's idol, then?" he asked with a smile, his hands together.
Captain Catherine Crowe (flappedy flappedy :P) glanced over at Jack's crew and thought for a moment.
" In reality... I can think of something that will advantage us both... Sail under my command. I could use your expertise! You get a third of my men under your authority and I get 40 percent of your plunder. How about it then, Captain Jack?" she offered.
" Sail under the command of a woman? Captain Jack Sparrow? Is she completely out of her mind???" Jack thought to himself.
" DEAL!" he exclaimed, followed by gasps coming from his crew members.
" You had better think, and think fast, you idiot... You're going to get yourself into a load of trouble," he continued to muse internally.
" Lead the way then, love," said Jack, walking towards Catherine Crowe.
" I'm going to kill you Jack Sparrow!" hissed Anamaria under her breath.
Jack turned around, catching the threat, and mouthed to his crew "NEGOTIATION!".
" I'm just waiting for the opportune moment," he added to them in a whisper, shaking as head as to tell them not to worry.
" Come on boys, keep transferring the provisions! We got some newcomers in our crew! And I still want those filthy sails down, you scallywags!" ordered Catherine.
Gibbs looked on at the display and sighed.
" A sparrow and a crow, each more daft than the other. I wouldn't be surprised if we end up at the bottom of the ocean, in Davey Jones' Locker by tomorrow..."
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To Be Continued...?