Disclaimer: I don't own Haldir or Legolas…I suppose I don't own my friend the Lady of Imladris either…I'm still so poor…

Notes for chapter: Wow, people besides Emily are still reading? Frankly I'm shocked since it took me so long…damn writers' block plus laziness = not good…anyway, more info about our high school. If you ran across our athletic field you'd end up in this little forest preserve like thing. You could either go into the forest from there or walk along a path that brought you to a statue of the Holy Trinity (I think that's what it is. It might just be the Virgin Mary.) and then to the back area of the retirement homes that are right next door to the school. Inside the forest, there are lots of little paths that pretty much run in circles. There's a creek/stream back there too. It's either a creek or a stream or even close to a river depending on how much rain we got. There was also no telling what you might see back there. There were lots of animals or even left over construction materials, depending on what they were doing to the school. There's more but I won't bother to mention. Emily is a collector of interesting things. She now owns a cane that when you push a button you can pull off the bottom and it's a roughly 30-inch blade.

And the chase begins.

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Hawk ran as fast as she could through the paths, looking for her old friend. "You know…I'm gonna have to kill him now…" She stopped in a clearing with some large concrete pipe parts.

Shadow came up behind her soon followed by the elves, bows in tow. "Lose him?"

"Yeah…" She licked her lips. "He's faster than I remember."

Shadow hopped on one foot while adjusting her boot. The boots she wore looked like the ones that Shadow kicked Hawk with but were actually other ones. "You know…these aren't all that great for running…"

"That's why I wore gym shoes, my dear." Hawk waved her foot in Shadow's face.

"Stop. We gotta find the wonderful little artist…" Shadow could tell Haldir was already envisioning what he'd do to Joe when he got his hands on him.

"NO killing." Hawk muttered.

"How about incapacitating?" Legolas asked eagerly.

"Only if he has a weapon…which would be highly unlike him…" Shadow shrugged.

"Is drawing degrading pictures like him?" Haldir asked annoyed.

"Yeah." Hawk and Shadow looked at each other and nodded.

Haldir let out an annoyed snort. "You're defending him again."

"How?" Shadow asked.

"You're making excuses for him." Legolas was scanning the gaps between the trees.

"We are not!" Hawk squeaked. "I love you Legolas." She said sweetly.

"There he is!" Without thinking, Haldir loosed an arrow at the boy.

"HEY!" Shadow kicked him in the shin with her boot. "I said 'No killing'!"

They heard a loud scream and the sound of the arrow splitting a tree. "Good thing you missed him!" Hawk slapped at Haldir.

"Did he always scream so much like a girl?" Legolas looked at Hawk.

"Well, anyone would scream like a little girl if an elven archer launched an arrow at them." Hawk started to run after the fleeing outline of Joe.

"JOE!!!!!! GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE BEFORE I LET LEGOLAS HIT YOU WITH AN ARROW!!!!!!!!!"

"LEGOLAS, LEGOLAS, LEGOLAS! IT'S ALWAYS LEGOLAS!" Joe shouted back at her.

"JOE!!!!!!!!!!" Hawk just kept running.

Legolas and Haldir split off from the girls to go after Joe on their own. They found him breathing hard on a bridge over a creek. He screamed when he saw them and ran. They ran after him. Joe pulled a large branch back and let it go when the elves were in range. Not even their heightened vision helped them jump over it and both male elves flew backwards into the creek. They stared up at the sky.

"We shoulda seen that one…" Legolas sat up angrily.

"Indeed…" The normally dignified elf rang the creek water out of his normally neat hair.

"Are you guys okay?" Hawk called down to them from the bridge.

"We're fine…just wet…" Legolas growled.

"You want help?" Shadow began climbing down to them.

"Just find him…" Haldir muttered.

"Shadow, you help them, I'll go after Joe." Hawk sped off in the direction Joe went.

After helping the boys out of the creek, Shadow found another path around to where Joe was running. Legolas and Haldir followed her, boot squishing as they went. Haldir took more careful aim this time and neatly pinned the villain to a near tree, through the shoulder of his t-shirt. Legolas helped him and pinned the other shoulder to the tree. Shadow and Hawk smirked like satisfied wolves that had finally caught their prey.

Shadow leapt forward and grasped the spiky, black haired boy by the collar and shook him.

"How could you? If I've told you once, I've told you one hundred thousand times, Haldir is NOT fat! He's BROAD-SHOULDERED!!!!!!!!!" Hawk could tell that her friend was close to becoming hysterical so she, too jumped forward and put a restraining hand on her shoulder. "And how could you knock him in the creek?!?! That is so undignified!"

"Remember, BREATHE, Shadow, BREATHE. It's in then out. Repeat as necessary," she said. Shadow looked around at her friend and released the boy, breathing heavily. Haldir looked at his girlfriend in amazement and slowly edged away from her. He was mad at Joe, but Shadow seemed to be taking care of things.

Hawk stepped up to the pinned boy, who was looking very nervous by now.

"Why'd you do it Joe?" She demanded. The black-haired boy looked sullenly up at her.

"All I ever heard at lunch for four years was: Haldir is so handsome. Legolas is a hot hunk of elven man! Do you know what that does to a person?!" he demanded angrily, his entire face burning red.

"That does NOT give you the right to make fun of them," Shadow put in, held carefully back by Haldir.

"Yeah," agreed Hawk. "There's nothing feminine about an elf that can shove an arrow straight up your nose into you brain."

Legolas smirked.

Shadow glared at him. "That's enough outta you!"

"I can't help what's true." He said confidently.
Joe's indignant face crumpled and he looked for a moment, lost and rather scared.

Shadow walked up to him and clapped him on the shoulder. "We'll let you off this time with a warning," she said conversationally as she tugged the arrow out of his t-shirt. "But next time..." She brandished the feathered shaft beneath his nose and he recoiled slightly. "Remember, we can ruin a lot more than just your clothes."

"So you not gonna kill me?" He asked cautiously.

"No, but if you ever call me fat again...I will kill you..." Haldir frowned.

"Alright, alright already...no more fat jokes."

"That reminds me..." Hawk wrapped her arm around Joe's shoulder. "Where did you find that dress pattern for the first picture you drew? I love that one!"

"You promised!" Legolas groaned.

Hawk grinned. "Sorry…"

With a last annoyed look, the elves began to drag the girls back to the car with them.

"You owe me a very big pudding for this," Hawk remarked as she slid into the front seat of the car as Shadow snuck surreptitiously into the back seat with Haldir. Legolas, guessing her plan, seized her by the scruff of her shirt and hauled her backwards, plopping her into the front seat next to Hawk.

"Aw! Hey! No fair!" Shadow sulked, hunching down in her seat. Hawk grinned.

"It's only fair, my dear." Shadow mumbled under her breath, in which, the words "sword and cane" were quite audible.

"Threaten all you want my dear but I have the more powerful weapon..." Hawk chuckled evilly.

"Oh, yeah?" Shadow snapped, a grin coming onto her face. "What's that?"

"I took your boots." She stated flatly.

"NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shadow started hyperventilating. "How could you!?!?!?"

Hawk smirked. "I told you I'd get them..."

"That's so cruel!!!" Shadow began wailing.

"Suck it up, woman!" Legolas snapped. "They're just boots!"

"Just boots?!?! How can you say that!?!?" Shadow lunged at Legolas.

Haldir dived on top of Shadow. "Down girl!" She flailed about in his arms as she screamed something about chopping Legolas' hair off. "Don't kill him!"

Legolas inched behind Hawk. She glared at him. "Orks, Uruk-Hai, Wargs, Goblins, Werewolves, Trolls, Ringwraiths...and yet Shadow scares you...you face all the evils of Middle Earth yet a human girl makes you back away..."

"The evils of Middle Earth are nothing compared to her..." He cowered.

"You're impossible..." Hawk turned away from her blonde elf and back to her enraged friend. "You, stop. You're going to hit your precious elf if you keep that up..." Shadow started to calm down. "We should go home..."

"Are you sure I can't hit Joe?" Haldir looked pleadingly at Shadow.

"No! You're not allowed to hit people!"

"Even just with the bow? I wanna whack him on the head!"

"You'll do nothing of the sort!" Hawk whacked him in the back of the head.

"Excuse me?!?! If you can hit me, why can't I hit him?!?!" Haldir angrily asked.

"You're elven, he's not." Hawk muttered. "And you need a shower. You smell like the creek…"

Haldir let out an indignant snort.

"Well, I hate to say it, but she's right. That creek stinks…" Shadow shrugged. "But if it makes you feel any better, Legolas stinks too."

"What?!?!" Legolas nearly lunged at Shadow. Haldir held him back.

"Please don't attack any passengers." Hawk sighed. "I'd like us all to get home in one piece…"

"Alright…" Her quarrelsome passengers sat back in their seat. Hawk grimaced at the thought of what it was going to cost to get the creek smell out of her car.

After the long ride back into the city, the girls made the guys take showers immediately. Hawk had never been so thankful their apartment had two bathrooms.

"I need pudding…" Hawk opened up the cabinets and pulled out three large boxes of chocolate pudding mix.

"Isn't that a bit much?" Shadow pulled the milk out.

"I want a lot of pudding." She tore the tops off the packages and dumped them into the largest bowl they had.

"Oh…I'm gonna go see what's on TV…" Shadow left her friend alone to make the mega batch of pudding.

After the pudding was in the fridge, Hawk sat with Shadow to watch TV.

The boys finished their showers in under 20 minutes. They came out only in pants and towels draped over their shoulders for their hair.

"Hmm…Elvish Spring…" Shadow grinned at the sight of Haldir.

Hawk elbowed her friend for the horrible pun.

Legolas leaned over the back of the couch by Hawk. "Hawk, didn't you do laundry last?"

"Maybe…" She grinned.

"Where, dare I ask, are all my shirts?"

"Hmm…maybe I forgot to wash them…" She looked up at her shirtless elf.

"I hope you have the worst memory on the planet…"

"She does!" Shadow spoke up. "You should have seen her when we were younger!"

"Shut up Shadow…"

"I'd ask her to do something and she'd take like a week to do it!"

"Shut up Shadow…"

"She hardly remembered her school work

"Shut up Shadow!"

"It was a miracle she remembered anything!"

"Shut up Shadow!!!" Hawk whacked her friend in the head. "Maybe I've forgotten what I did with your precious boots! I need pudding!"

"No! My boots!" Shadow cried out.

Hawk returned with the giant bowl she prepared earlier. Legolas was astonished by the amount of pudding she had.

"Can I have some?" Shadow asked.

"Maybe I forgot how to share too…" Hawk snapped.

"Okay! Okay! I'm sorry! Please!"

"Fine…go get some more spoons." She waved her friend off.

And with that, they happily pigged out on pudding while the TV droned on incessantly.

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Well, that's finally finished…sorry it took so long for those of you that are still paying attention to this. Now I wouldn't count on it to happen soon, but there are other misadventures being planned such as Haldir and Legolas and their job and Haldir and Legolas Vs. the Centipede. Don't ask, just wait. Those will be co written with the Lady of Imladris and will thus be filled with even more insanity. If anyone wants to be alerted when those come out, leave your e-mail address in your review and I'll be sure to keep you updated.

Ah yes, I owe a lot to Emily for writing a big ol' part of the chapter for me. I got stuck and she used her powerful insanity to help me out. ^_^

Thank you for bearing with my insanity, soon to be joined with my friend's. I hope all of you took this with a grain of salt and don't think I should be sent to a mental hospital.

~*~Shadow Hawk~*~