Siri blinked. She had felt that she would never see him again, but this was worse. Obi-Wan was not there, his body was just an empty shell. She set aside all of her medical tools and simply watched him. He was beautiful, she decided. His hair was a little too long, and his beard made him look older, but he was still a very handsome man.
She reached out and gently stroked his hair. What happened to you Obi-Wan? It must have been something awful. She slowly reached into his mind again, this time going deeper. She was about to give up and pull out, when she felt him. Reaching out like a tiny tendril, a bit of his spirit was reaching for her presence.
Siri smiled and closed her eyes. "Obi-Wan." she said quietly. She reached for him in his mind, and she felt his presence grasp onto hers. She could feel his happiness at feeling her beside him, but also a profound sadness.
Siri...
Siri's eyes opened with a start, but she did not break their connection. Obi-Wan? she asked through the Force.
Yes. What are you doing here?
Anakin called over the comm and asked for help. What happened in the Memorial, Obi-Wan? She could feel his sudden wave of sadness as he pulled slightly away from her.
I...I don't really want to 'talk' about it.
Can I see, maybe?
No. I don't think it's-
-Obi-Wan, how am I supposed to help you if I don't know what that thing did to you?
It showed me things...
Can I see?
She pushed further into his mind, following the tendril of his spirit. She finally reached where the rest of him was. Whatever he had seen had caused him to retreat very far into himself. She tried to go further, but hit the mental shields he had put up.
Please Obi-Wan. Let me see so I can help you.
She could feel his hesitation. Then the shields in his mind collapsed, and in her mind images began to flash before her.
She unconsciously gasped. These scenes were filled with death and destruction. Images of every death Obi-Wan Kenobi had ever witnessed flashed before her eyes. Cerasi, Bruck Chun, Xanatos, Tahl, Flip, and countless others flashed in front of her eyes, each dying horrible deaths. As each death occurred, Siri could feel the pain that Obi-Wan felt. Then came Qui-Gon. She watched, helplessly, as the Sith monster struck Qui-Gon through. A grief so great ripped through her body. She choked back a sob and tried to pull away from the visions.
But whatever had shown them to Obi-Wan had not been through with him yet. Each death reoccurred, but this time things were different. This time they showed Obi-Wan in places where he could have easily prevented each one of them. For Cerasi, he was right beside her with his lightsaber, in a position where he could have easily deflected the deadly blaster fire. For Bruck, he was only inches away from the boy when he fell. She suppressed another shudder as Qui-Gon died, and Obi-Wan just stood there, a mere two feet away.
Then new images flashed across her mind. Coruscant in ruins, Jedi lying dead where they fell in battle, a dark, masked figure killing another Jedi. Then she saw herself, being killed by soldiers in white armor. She heard Obi-Wan's cry of denial and abruptly pulled her presence away.
For a moment, the Jedi only stood and stared down at Obi-Wan's still form, trying to catch her breath. The things he had shown her were horrible; no wonder he had pulled inside himself. And if they were bad for her to see, then they must have been ten times worse for Obi-Wan, the reason being that he had actually seen them happen.
She composed herself before reaching into his mind again. To her surprise, she felt not a tendril, but a large amount of his being coming to greet her.
Are you alright? he asked her.
Me? I'm fine. It's you I'm worried about. What can I do for you?
Nothing. Nothing can be done for me.
She was abruptly pushed with force out of his mind. She wasn't angry though; she felt he needed to think about it by himself. She placed a loving hand on his face, and just smiled at his still form. She ran her hand down his face to his beard. She stood up and prepared to leave, but stopped. She bent over to kiss his cheek, but something made her stop centimeters from his face. She thought for a moment, then kissed him on the mouth. She closed her eyes, and pulled away. When she opened her eyes, she realized that she wasn't the only one who had.
Obi-Wan's blue eyes gazed at her with a look she had never before seen on him.
"Siri." he said weakly through a dry mouth. He lifted his head up to hers and kissed her again, this time longer than she had him. She returned the kiss. When they finally separated, she looked at him with eyes glistening with tears.
"Obi-Wan, we all thought you'd never come back. And I thought you would..." she trailed off.
"Die?' he offered. She only nodded. He leaned back against the thin pillow. "I almost did. Whatever it was that attacked me didn't just show me all those things. It tried to break me, so it could crush my spirit. It almost did. That's why I pulled myself in so tight. Then it began to show me...the deaths." He closed his eyes. "It was like they were happening all over again, they were so real. And when it showed me standing by them all, not trying to save them, I believed that it was real." He looked away, but Siri could see his unshed tears.
"And you blamed yourself." Siri said. Obi-Wan nodded. "Oh, Obi-Wan." Siri leaned over to gather him into a hug. He simply clung to her for a few minutes. Then she broke away and gently pushed him back onto the cot. "Rest, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Sleep, but do not dream." She closed his eyes with her hand and sent him calming waves through the Force. She felt him relax, and within minutes was asleep. She smiled at him and gently held onto his hand.
She didn't know how long she sat there, but she heard the boys return. She listened as a bag of food dropped onto the floor and footsteps rushed toward her. She turned her head and saw Anakin enter the room. He looked down at Obi-Wan and sighed, the disappointment visible on his face.
"He's still out. I was hoping he'd snap out of it." Anakin said sadly.
But at the sound of Anakin's voice, Obi-Wan stirred out of his sleep.
"Ankin?" he asked groggily.
"Master!" Anakin rushed over to Obi-Wan and hugged him the best he could with Obi-Wan lying down. Anakin pulled away, but was all smiles. "How?" he asked simply.
"Siri." Obi-Wan answered, just as simply. He tried to sit up, but didn't even make it halfway up before he collapsed again. He laid down for a moment and tried to catch his breath again.
"What did that thing do to you, Obi-Wan?" Anakin asked, his blue eyes worried,
Obi-Wan simply shook his head and closed his eyes.
"I think he needs to rest. We still don't know if he's going to be alright or not," she whispered, although she didn't have to. Obi-Wan had fallen asleep again. Siri shooed the Padawans out of the med-bay and returned to Obi-Wan's side.
She watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest for a moment. Then she smoothed his hair back out of his face and kissed his forehead. "I love you, Obi-Wan." For a moment, her own words shocked her. Why had she just said that?
She thought about it for a moment. Then she continued to stroke his hair. Yes, she thought, I do love him. That was the change that I felt. And it became even more evident when I kissed him. She ran a finger gently over his lips. When exactly did it happen?
She closed her eyes and racked her memory.