I own nothing here. Just writing a fan fic. Coincidentally, I wonder what would happen if I said I owned all these characters.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Neeeeeeeeeew Yorrrrrrrrrk Neeeeeeeeeeew Yorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk, YES SIR, these vagabond shoooooooes….", Xander sang before being slapped in the back of the head by Buffy.
"Xander, I swear….if you sing that one more time I am going to waive that whole slaying humans clause", Buffy growled.
"Whoa. Someone woke up on the grumpy side of the bed this morning." Xander whined rubbing the back of his head.
Buffy smiled sweetly at Xander and put her hand on his, "Xander. Sweetie. I didn't wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I haven't been in a bed for nearly FOUR DAYS!"
"Ow Buff, you're squeezing my hand…." Xander explained.
"I haven't showered in days Xander, because we've scurried along trying to get off at this bus station….on at that one….off at this one…..not to mention that crazy guy who ran into the women's bathroom and started praying to the toilet seats.", Buffy said applying more pressure.
"I don't think my hand is supposed to go purple like that…..ooooow." Xander said, tears welling up in his eyes.
"I am the furthest thing from grumpy…..I'm a bigger bitch than Cordelia could ever DREAM of being right now", Buffy went on, smiling sadistically, "So please Xander, the first five hundred times I ask you to stop singing Frank Sinatra, please take that as a sign not to piss off the Chosen One. The only thing that could make this worse is if it was THAT time of the month."
Xander managed to wrench his hand out of Buffy's, "Hello! Too much information!"
Buffy groaned, "I'm sorry Xander. It's just that this is stressful. I wish we could have taken a plane."
"Actually you were the one who wanted us to take the bus. You know, see the country. The deserts, the great planes, the Mississippi river…." Xander explained.
"Yeah and I must have been high from Willow and Tara's incense burning in the living room. Why did I even agree to come along anyway?" Buffy asked, turning to Xander
"Will needs our support here. We're here because we're her best friends. She needs this magick thing under control. Moral support. Comfort. You know the drill." Xander explained.
"Yeah I know. I just don't feel right leaving everyone back in California. I mean what if the First attacks while I'm gone?" Buffy asked.
"I don't know, but you said it yourself, Willow's your big gun here. We need her in tip top condition, mental and physical. If this Strange guy can help her, fine. If the First attacks while we're gone, well not like there was anything we could do anyways with Will as mixed up about magick as she is." Xander stated before looking towards the back of the bus, "What I'm wondering is why bring Spike?"
A few seats behind Buffy and Xander on the Greyhound Bus was Spike, wrapped in bandages around his head and neck. Gloves adorned his hands. Sunglasses were over his eyes. In many ways, Spike looked like Claude Raines from the Invisible Man. On a week long bus trip, it was probably the best way to defend his vampire skin from the sunlight. Of course it got him lots of looks at bus stations. But of course, Spike would merely leap at the gawking crowds yelling "boo" and laughing hysterically, scaring the crowd and embarrassing his friends. Sitting next to Spike, or more appropriately, lying on Spike's shoulder asleep was Buffy's sister Dawn.
"Well, he's been to New York before. He killed that Slayer there back in the seventies." Buffy replied, trying to defend her choice to bring Spike along.
"Oh okay, glad to know that the fact that he killed someone there thirty years ago qualifies him as our guide." Xander stated, his voice laced with lethal doses of sarcasm.
"Been there since then whelp. Hell, I was there when they still had cobblestone streets. I know my way around. Know every nook and cranny from Queens to the Bronx." Spike replied with a low voice so as not to wake up Dawn.
"I thought you were asleep." Buffy asked the bandaged vampire.
"I was until Frankie up there started crooning again. May as well have Red resurrect Dean and Sammy for one last wing ding." Spike said sleepily.
"I'll have you know I'm a very good singer." Xander replied.
"Please. I heard you when that demon made us all sing and dance. Just wondering if PETA ever got you for killing that poor cat." Spike laughed.
"Oh yeah, as opposed to the offbeat Air Supply like melody of William the Bloody.", Xander fired back.
"Least I actually knew Sinatra." Spike yawned.
"You knew Frank Sinatra?" Buffy asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Well yeah. Who do you think helped him write My Way? We got along really well until he tried hitting on Drusilla." Spike explained.
"So you kicked his ass?" Xander asked.
"Nope. Saved it. Dru was the one who nearly killed him. Said something like "proper girls aren't propositioned, they're courted" or some such rubbish and nearly ate his eyes." Spike went on.
"Next you'll be telling us that you taught Sammy Davis Jr. to dance." Buffy laughed.
"That was Dru's work too actually." Spike replied.
"Wow. Cool story." Xander admitted, "Should sell it to VH1 for a Behind the Music special."
"Eh, bugger it. Going back to sleep. Keep it down will you?" Spike yawned before closing his eyes again.
"Wow. One of us actually met someone who was big musical celebrity type." the petite red haired witch Willow said waking up.
"Yeah. Frank Sinatra, pretty cool huh?" Buffy asked her friend, who was lying across two seats across the aisle.
"Giles is still studlier." Willow responded.
At that Xander raised an eyebrow.
"Maybe it's the grogginess talking Will, but you are a lesbian right?" Xander asked.
"What? I can't admit when a man is good looking?" Willow asked sitting up and rubbing her eyes.
"By definition, no." Xander quipped.
"Besides, it's Giles. He's just…well he's Giles." Buffy added.
"Just because you don't think he is doesn't mean he's not. I mean hey, look at Xander. You never noticed him." Willow said.
"HEY!" Xander shouted earning him looks from other passengers.
"You didn't let me finish. I was going to say that even though Buffy never noticed you, doesn't mean you're not hot. You're totally studly." Willow smirked.
Xander was all grins, "Heh heh. A lesbian thinks I'm hot."
"Don't let it go to your head." Buffy said trying to snap Xander back to reality.
"And don't think about me, Tara, and Kennedy that way either." Willow added.
"You read my mind?" Xander asked.
"No but I know how you think you perv." Willow said with a smile to her childhood friend.
Xander thought for a minute, "Any chance we could start having flukes again and you could get me in on some HLA?"
"HLA?" Buffy asked, "That like the JLA?"
Willow groaned, "It means hot lesbian action and no Xander."
"Sorry. I just haven't gotten laid since the whole wedding that wasn't." Xander sighed.
"Well maybe we can wear skimpy outfits around you and have pillow fights and stuff when we're feeling kinky." Willow grinned mischievously.
"Willow!" Buffy said in surprise.
"Oh what? Its not like I don't think guys can't be attractive or anything. Just prefer girls. " Willow said.
"Will, I love you. I love you SO much." Xander smiled evilly.
"Love you too Xander. OOOH! Look at the lights!" Willow said sitting up. Miles away the bright skyline of New York City shone. The three members of the Scooby Gang all grinned when they saw the enormity of the most famous city in the world. They also smiled because they knew their trek was nearly over. The three friends all looked at each other.
"Start spreading the news…I'm coming to stay…I want to be a part of it, New York, New York!" the three sang in unison.
Spike also threw his pillow at them.