Ch. 6
Home is Where the Heart is…
She had closed her eyes…and waited for the darkness to take once again a hold on her tired mind. To take it all away… the blankness and the throbbing her head gave as blood pulsed through her body.
Take it all away.
But the darkness never comes when it's wanted and she sighed, feeling uncomfortable with everything. The light blanket that had been thrown over her was too light and the cold air seemed to weave itself through the fabric to bite chillingly at her legs and arms. Her clothes, that she had been told to stay in by a rather frazzled woman, were suddenly too tight and they itched at her skin.
She let loose a soft sigh and turned to her side, curling up in a fetus position as she awaited the day and the arrival of her new 'family.'
She wondered what the would be like…
She wondered…
And wondered…
Until everything faded…
Along with the memories…
Along with everything else.
…
Manx glared at the redhead without saying anything. There really wasn't anything left to say. Her grip on the bag that he had given her was too tight, soft tremors overtaking her arm, the only sign really that she was just as shocked as the rest of them. Beside her, Aya-chan cried softly.
The noise was annoying.
Unfair.
The others couldn't show that kind of emotion…
He couldn't show that kind of emotion…
"I'll let you know if we find anything." She muttered. "In the meantime…"
"I know." Aya cut her off brusquely. "We'll keep looking."
"You might want to look at the clients… keep an eye on them…"
"Aa." The violet eyes hadn't widened. But inside he still felt the surprise he kept hidden. He hadn't thought of that…why hadn't he…?
/Tough day kitten, don't take it so hard…/ Aya shook his head.
He'd wait for Yoji to come back.
He needed to know that Ken was all right.
All right.
He closed his eyes and turned to walk out the door.
…
"Nagi?" The voice was soft and held not just a bit of humor in it. He tore his eyes from his computer screen and turned to glare at the telepath.
"What is it?"
"It is possible to make some computer files accessible to only one other person….other than ourselves. Making it look deleted for the others who try to hack into it." Even if he was asking questions, Shu never raised his voice, letting the younger boy know that Shu already knew the answer. He wasn't really asking if it was possible. He just wanted Nagi to say yes… get the kid talking and then somehow get Nagi to say that he would do this task…without really knowing why HE was doing it. He glared harder at the redhead.
"What do you want Shu?"
"You owe me…" The older man drawled with a large smile on his face. "Don't worry though… it's all for a good cause. It'll be fun."
"You think everything is fun." Nagi grumbled slightly but resignation had already washed over his features. There was no use in arguing with Shu…none at all. "What's the file? And who's the one…" Ge trailed off as the information was suddenly planted in his head, no doubt through mental… whatever… He frowned again. "I hate it when you do that!" He gave his head a little shake and then sighed. Nagi turned back to his computer and started to hack into Bombay's computer. 'Poor Taketori Mamoru…' He thought sarcastically. 'Good luck getting out of this one…'
…
It was earl, that much her senses could tell her as she opened her eyes and blinked as the light hit her, blinding her for an instant. It was early…and she was hungry. Slowly she unwrapped the blanket from one of her shoulders and pushed the rest of the fabric aside, freeing her legs. She swung them over the bed and let them dangle a bit uselessly as she took in her surroundings. The room was a bit bland; the only decorations that colored the rooms were drawings. Childlike drawings… scribbles really, of every color in swirls and zigzags that filled the paper and probably more but any indication of that mess had already been washed away. She let a yawn escape her lips and looked away from the drawings, her eyes finding the wooden door instead. One foot moved forward and was suddenly pressed onto the cold floor. She yelped and bit her lip… knowing for some reason that she didn't want to be heard. That she had to be quiet but when she searched her brain for a reason… it seemed to disappear from her and she was lost. The second foot joined the first and the cold moved up her legs and up her spine, sending chills through her body. She gave a little shake.
Cold was only a minor problem.
Her stomach grumbled again, loud enough for her to hear as well as feel. She winced at that and clenched a fist to her stomach, pressing it against… hoping that the sensation would go away.
How long had it been?
How long…
She shook her head and pushed herself off the bed in one fluid motion. Instead of asking questions… She should do something. Taking one step and then another, she quickly reached the wooden door and opened it, freeing herself from the bland room… that was beginning to tear at her nerves. She didn't know why… couldn't know why… it just was so… un-personal. It gave nothing. No information… it just was/
"Hello?" She asked softly as she hurried to close the door behind her and step further into the hallway. A child, probably no more than three, glanced up at her, his thumb in his mouth and round tears rolling down his cheeks. At the sight of her, the hand left his mouth and he lifted them up in clear demand of attention and of wanting to be picked up. "Hi." She greeted, kneeling before the child and doing what had been asked of her. She gathered him to her. "What's wrong? Where… where is everyone? I remember…" She was speaking more to herself than to him… she knew that but still… "I remember the men. They were nice… but scary. And that woman…" She trailed off as the little boy whimpered and his little hands grabbed at her hair.
"…ungwy…" The little one whimpered again. "Ungwy." She blinked and tried to unclench his fingers from her hair.
"What?" She asked, eyes widening in surprise.
"I'm ungwy." The boy continued, his brown eyes pleading towards her for help.
"Hungry?" She guessed half hazardly and was given a very energetic nod in response. "No one home beside us?" She asked. He shook his head and stuck his thumb back into his mouth. "Where's the kitchen?" She asked gently. "Do you know where it is?" His brown eyes blinked at her with sudden trust and he nodded, pointing with his free hand down the hallway. She sighed and got up, hefting him into a more comfortable position, for herself and him, in her arms as she began to walking again. At the end of the hallway, he tugged at her hair again and made her turn to the left into a room she knew had to be the playroom. Scattered toys for all ages, ripped up books, markers and crayons… some of them chewed, littered the floor. She stepped carefully, her attention fully intent on not stepping on something that might cause her to fall. She had to protect the little one. He was heavy for a three year old and she was relieved when her foot touched the tiled floor of the kitchen, leaving the carpeted warmth of the playroom floor. A plastic baby chair sat next to an oval shaped table. A piece of paper had been taped onto the surface of the white-legged table and it immediately caught her attention.
I've gone shopping for food. Please take care of Kenji while I'm gone, his bottle is already prepared in the fridge. Put it in the microwave for a minute and it should be fine. Remember to check his diaper. I'm counting on you Ami. And let the new girl sleep in, she's had a rough night and she'll be leaving as soon as he parents come and pick her up. Be back soon.
Mei.
Her arms felt suddenly weak as her eyes finished skimming the note. Parents? She… had parents? The thought made her tremble with fear and giddiness. But her mind seemed to slap her awake with its bluntness. 'Of course you have parents. Everyone has parents… it's whether they want you… love you that makes them good ones. Anyway… you knew you were getting new parents. They told you yesterday.'
"Are you Kenji?" She asked as she finally managed to tear her eyes away from the note. She settled him in the plastic chair, much to his dismay, and it took her awhile to buckle him in securely and get his hands to once again let go of her hair while ignoring her protests. "You want food… don't you?" She asked instead. That quieted him for a moment and it gave her the opportunity to escape to the fridge, to grab the bottle for the child and grab an apple for herself. She then went to the microwave and had to pause in mild reflection at how to use this microwave. That problem too was settled rather quickly and soon, Kenji, she guessed that was his name, was eating his breakfast quietly if not sloppily, his small hands holding onto the bottle for dear life as she ate her apple in deep thoughts.
The apple was sweet… a bit too sweet for her jumpy stomach that didn't seem to want to settle down no matter what she told herself.
How there was nothing to worry about… nothing really to do but just wait and be patient.
But oh how she couldn't calm down. Because… what if? What if the knew about her? What if they could fight the darkness that ate at her mind whenever she thought she could remember something?
To fight that fear that was locked away in her chest because she couldn't remember.
She hadn't even remembered her own name.
Ouka.
She didn't like it.
It didn't sound right.
She closed her eyes.
…
"How is he?" Ran asked, tired. Incredibly tired and feeling very old… Frail.
He hated that feeling.
He didn't need to specify who he was talking about. It was so obvious who it was… He closed his eyes.
/Let the nightmares end…ne Kitten?/
Yoji didn't answer right away, his mouth set in a tight line as he was lost in his own grim thoughts.
"Good I guess. Nothing that can't be fixed." He muttered finally. "How's your sister holding up?"
"Fine." Ran muttered coolly. "Manx took her home." There was a stretch of silence. "Yoji…The computer files…" Ran started. "They're gone." Another stretch of silence. The older man looked up, sunglasses hiding whatever emotion was passing in his eyes at that moment.
"Gone?" Ran nodded. "Damn it!"
…
"Kenji…Hold still." She pleaded, trying to wipe the little boy's round cheeks that were now covered with milk. Ouka sighed finally and gave up. She didn't know how to deal with children exactly. If only he were here… She blinked. If only who was here? She thought hard.
Nothing.
The whisper was gone.
Ignoring her futile attempts at understanding it.
Ignoring her need to know..,
Bitter tears slipped out of the corner of her eyes.
"Ne-chan." The little boy cried our, grabbing her arm. "Ne-chan…" She couldn't understand his baby talk. She couldn't…she was too tired suddenly and her head hurt.
It seemed it would hurt for all eternity.
"Lets go look for the others." She whispered. "Lets go look for the others, ne Kenji? Ne…"
'Ouka… my name is Ouka…' She was biting her lip and the metallic taste filled her mouth, invading it and making her stomach tighten even more. 'Ouka…' She unclipped the boy and picked him up, holing onto him as tightly as she could without hurting him.
Silly how it was…
That she… the older one was comforted in the child's very presence.
She was needed.
That was enough for now… or at least… she would be able to trick herself into thinking that it would be enough for now.
'I want to go home.'
She stepped into the playroom and looked around.
Still as deserted.
What had been the name on the note? A…A something. Aya? No not that. Ami… Ami… Where had Aya come from? She shook her head.
"Ami? Ami?" She called out, continuing to walk. Her footsteps quickly brought her back into the hallway and painfully slowly, she went and opened each door, looking in and finding more and more empty beds…and no one to explain to her where she was and when her parents would come and pick her up. Her arms started to ache again. "Ami?" She called out one last time. Nothing. She sighed and stepped into a random room. So the wait would continue. She let the little boy wiggle out of her arms and into the bed. She followed him in and sighed, looking up at the ceiling before turning to her side and once more letting the child come to her arms. Before long, both of them had fallen asleep and neither of them heard the front door opening.
…
"I can't believe this happened again. You said they wouldn't remember anything!" The woman hissed into the phone, her hand cupped near her mouth to block the sound from going further. Whatever response was given, it didn't please her. "And what if this one remembers? Your new…" She trailed off and the blood in her face drained away. "No. I'm not complaining but…I can't be caught…Please… You've got help me find her. Yes… Ami. She must've left an hour or two ago. No…I went out For food. Yes." There was another pause and some color returned to her face. "Yes… The Wilsen's will be coming shortly. She will be ready for them. Does she need another doze? Pills… a bag of them. I understand. Thank you." She sighed with relief and anger and slammed the phone back into the receiver.
If anyone found out…
If anyone ever made the connection to her… she'd be finished.
She closed her eyes.
That brat! Running away again… She opened her dark brown eyes. Never mind that. It was too late to remedy the situation.
But as for the other girl…
A soft smile replaced the frown.
She was exactly what the Wilsen's had wanted. She snorted with slight derision. The foreign couple would never know… and that child would be as happy as she had been before… or happier… therefore… how could she even bother to feel guilty? She shook her head.
It was time for that child to be ready.
She stepped into the room where she had found her last two 'orphans' and decided that naptime for them was over. With a firm but gentle grip on the girl's shoulder she shook it and the girl's blue eyes snapped opened and narrowed, a dangerous glint passing through them. She stepped away. Mei hadn't gotten to where she was without being able to realize what dangerous was.
And that girl… She swallowed hard… could be dangerous.
The eyes had given her away. The kick that had been shot out in her direction had barely been missed. 'Where the hell did they pick this girl up?'
"Ouka…" Mei exclaimed as if she was greeting an old acquaintance. The fake warmth injected in her voice made the girl pause, confusion lighting her blue eyes and softening them a bit.
"Ami?" Mei shook her head.
"I'm Mei… You met me last night you poor dear but since you were so tired… we didn't get much time to get acquainted."
'No.' Ouka thought. 'That's not true. I wasn't tired. I…' What did it matter?
"Oh." She tried to smile. "I looked for Ami but She's not here." The woman nodded patiently as if the news didn't surprise her greatly.
"Yes… Ami… bless my old mind, I forgot, went home yesterday. I'm so used to being able to depend on her…" She trailed off, still gazing intently at those blue eyes to see if the lies were being gobbled up like they should be.
"I don't know how to change diapers." Ouka stated, ignoring the mutterings of the woman. "I fed Kenji… but…" She shrugged and looked down at the boy who was still deeply asleep beside her.
"Don't worry about it." She made her smile wider. "Ouka… I have exciting news to give you." The blue eyes looked at her curiously now and the suspicion was washed away with the rest of Mei's words. "Your parents are coming in…" She glanced at her watch. "…approximately fifteen minutes."
"Really?" There was barely hidden excitement in the girl's voice. "They… my parents… they're adoptive aren't they?" Mei nodded, wondering where this question would lead up to. "But… but you… you… do you know why I'm like this? I don't remember anything! How old am I? I can't… I don't even know that much…" The woman sighed and let herself sit on the edge of the bed.
"Ouka…Ouka dear heart. Calm down. Your mind doesn't want you to remember everything right now because it's too much for your heart to take… but once it is… I'm sure you'll remember. And you're fifteen."
"I don't care if I'm not ready to take it! I need to remember. It's not right… It's not normal to have nothing left of the past!" The girl exclaimed, her voice near hysterical. Kenji woke up at the sound of it and sat up, eyes wide and near tears. Mei sighed and lifted the boy in her lap, shushing him and while doing that, taking the time to think up of a lie to tell the girl. Every one she came up with was so… corny.
She held back the third sigh and instead reached for Ouka's hand.
"Listen to me, love. You can't remember anything? Nothing at all?" The girl shook her head. "You were in a car accident… and you were the only who survived it… We've been taking care of you ever since… and trying to find you a home. The head trauma you received had made it almost impossible for you to remember anything."
"Oh…" The blue eyes seemed to close and the girl looked away. "I had a brother, didn't I?" She asked carefully, voice barely over a whisper. " I think I remember a brother… He…" Ouka tore he hand out of the woman's soft grasp. "…it doesn't matter."
/That's right kitten. He doesn't matter anymore./
Then why was she so close to tears again?
She would never win against the darkness. Never.
But maybe… maybe that was a good thing. Maybe she could start again. A new Ouka… without the accident…without the deaths surrounding her. Yes… yes… she could do that. And she wouldn't be so sad ever again…
/Smart kitten… such a smart little kitten…/
Warmth pushed aside the grief and she looked up.
And smiled.
…
The woman hadn't lied, for fifteen minutes later giving Ouka barely enough time to even untangle her hair… forget taking a bath Mei had advised… her parents had arrived. She had watched them quietly. Kenji in her arms, suddenly afraid that they wouldn't like her. That she wasn't what they wanted in a girl.
Maybe she was too short or…
Their smiles were priceless as they washed her fear away. Her new mother was close to tears at the happiness of having finally made one of her dreams come true. She would now have a daughter. She was of medium height and hair was wavy and to her shoulders… auburn. Her father… was tall, hair black and cropped short. No beard. He smiled also and the brown eyes held a warmth that Ouka knew deep in her heart… she had never known before. She felt her own eyes prickle with oncoming tears as Kenji was taken out of her arms by Mei, and she was engulfed by a tight hug by Mr. and Mrs. Wilsen.
They were gaijin… she knew that. But it didn't matter.
It didn't matter at all because… they… they loved her.
"Ouka…We…" The woman tried to express herself in words and failed.
"Let's go home." The man muttered in a gruff voice.
"Hai."
'Home…' She was going home. 'Home…'
/Home is where the heart is, Kitten…/