Ch.7
It's all in your head.
Ouka couldn't help but gasp in delight at the quaint little apartment as the car finally pulled to a stop in front of it. The sides were a washed out white color and there were little balconies at each floor… with vines that trailed down the front façade. She smiled as the car door was opened for her. She hopped out, and followed them in, her hand in Mrs. Wilsen's, who she had learned during the car ride was to be called Josie until Ouka felt comfortable enough to call her mom.
'Mom… Dad…'
Time…would pass relatively fast she thought as a gentle wind passed by her.
…
Ken kept his eyes closed.
Because the less he saw…
Because the less he knew about it…
The less it would be real.
Omi would be found. Hell he wasn't even gone so why bother to think about it. It was just that… after not seeing him… not hearing his voice for two days, because the second day had come even though Ken cursed it's existence, it was hard not to believe in what Yoji's silence had said. Had screamed at him.
A tear slipped from his closed eyes.
He'd been ignoring… avoiding the kid for the past month. And now… now when it would all be over and it would all go back to normal… Omi was gone?
No.
He couldn't accept that!
Just like he couldn't accept Omi's face resembling more and more Yuriko's face as his hair grew long and he softened his voice to become Ouka.
And thus he had avoided him.
And thus… Omi was gone.
Whisked away from Ken before he could even react.
Hell. He had reacted. He had cursed and been an idiot. Hopped onto his bike before he could even comprehend what exactly was happening. And then he had frozen. Why? Who the hell cared about the fucking why!
He had frozen.
And he had lost the most important thing in his life.
He'd never see that smile again.
Never here that cheerful voice that said hello or asked if he was okay…
Never to see those blue eyes that always seemed so worried…
Never…
'Fuck you.
Fuck you for being such an ass!' He slammed his head back into the soft pillow and rested an arm across his eyes in hopes to keep the reality away… to keep his eyes from opening. He didn't want to know…
The cast lay heavily on his leg. Dead weight. He hated it.
For all the world he wanted to tear it off, get out of bed and go search every corner of the town… every patch of shadow… every home… every adoption center… and find him.
The door opened, Yoji came in, apparently leading Aya into the room. Both of them still had their closed off faces, meaning they were still in mission mode. Ken looked away. Silence always gave them away.
"Ken." Yoji started, pulling a chair towards him from the wall. He sat on it and made a motion with his hand to get Aya to come closer. "How are you feeling?" Who the hell was Yoji kidding in asking such a stupid question? It didn't matter how he was feeling. And his welfare was certainly not why those two had come in here to discuss with him. So he stayed silent, staring at the white wall with disgusted concentration. "We've… someone deleted the mission files." 'Deleted mission files?' Ken's brain slowly registered. 'And the point of that is…' "Manx got the chemical analysis report back on whatever those two bastards gave Omi. No use beating around the bush as they say. It's not good. It's a new drug that's been on the black market and its purpose is to either give you a high or wipe away your memories. The normal amount given to a person is…"
"I don't care." Ken hissed, his fingers clenching into a tight fist. "How much did they give him?"
"Three times more than the usual doze." Aya spoke finally. "There's little hope he'll ever regain his memories back…even if we find him."
"When we find him." Yoji half growled. "We're still looking. And whoever's trying to delay us will get hell when I find them."
"So the mission's not over?" Ken asked bleakly.
"No… it isn't."
"Then get me fucking crutches." Ken hissed. "And let me be useful instead…"
"You'll get them in twenty four hours… but for now, rest." Aya muttered, turning to leave. "We'll be back soon with any updates." Yoji nodded and pushed himself back before getting up and leaving as well. The door closed and Ken was once again left alone with his own dark thoughts.
…
Ouka found herself, right after having been given a tour of the cozy apartment that would be her home, in the bathroom clutching to herself tightly, new clothes that she had been given. Mrs. Wilsen removed her hand from under the faucet and shook the water off her fingers with a satisfied smile on her face. "The temperature is perfect, just turn it off when you feel it's enough…" Her smile grew as she waved Ouka closer. "Call if you need anything." She said gently, leaving Ouka alone in the new surroundings.
She gave a little sigh and went over to turn the faucet off. The happiness that had filled her before was still there, keeping her warm and in a world that seemed very far from reality. She kept waiting for something or someone to come and take it all away yet… She unclenched her hands and gently draped the clothes; a simple shirt, sweater and jeans, on the floor. Yet, she was still here. Still safe. A smile crept onto her face.
/Better not keep them waiting kitten./
She turned slightly, and started to remove her shirt, pulling it over her head. Pants were next and…
Stop.
Eyes widened…
A trembling started to overtake the small body. Slowly it fell to the floor, blue eyes wide and pained staring out from under the long hair.
That something had happened.
That something had happened.
That something had happened…because…because…she…she wasn't a…a she… The eyes closed.
/They don't need to know kitten./
A guy.
/It can be a secret/
A guy. He was a guy…
/It'll be our secret/
Can't be Ouka… knew it was wrong…
/Our secret…/
Numbly, he got up and mechanically did what he had to do…to keep from attracting attention. He had a home… he didn't want to give it up. And they wanted a girl… only a girl… They wouldn't know.
They didn't need to know.