Ch8.
As time goes by… laughing
Pale. Scared. Cold. Is she all right? So cold… Dear god… she's trembling. Do something!
He closed his eyes and tried to shut the past few hours out of his mind. When he'd left the bathroom, they'd been there waiting. Shock. They said he was in shock… too much change they'd said.
Too much… change…
If it hadn't been him, if it hadn't been real… but only a show or something…he'd have laughed.
How could anyone…forget about them self so much…to not even be able to remember…to realize… Of course he'd been in shock.
They had helped him into bed, ignoring his suddenly violent protests to not be touched… to be left alone. They had given him medicine… medicine that had been made especially for these kinds of situations. He'd taken it only to get them out of the room. But once they had left, he'd thrown it back up.
He knew what was wrong with him.
And he doubted any pill would make it any better.
The boy glued his eyes to whatever was in front of him. He was a he. Not a she. So, he wasn't Ouka…and people had lied to him. All of it… everything… was lie.
Breath.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
Breath.
Nothing he'd been told since he had awakened from that truck had been real. He wasn't Ouka. He wasn't a girl… was he even an orphan? Were his parents dead? Brothers? Sisters? Who the hell was he?
It was hard to remember…even something as simple as breathing. If he closed his eyes, if he just shut them and let darkness hit his mind, and if he fought that darkness… he could almost sense… something. A sound. A name. A face. A memory?
Possibly.
Breath.
It hurt. The fear that gnawed at his chest made it hurt to breath. Made it hard to even want to remember.
But yet…
Maybe… if everything else was a lie… maybe… maybe someone was looking for him. He never felt it when his hand rose upward to grasp at the air, clenching it into a fist as if trying to close onto something…anything.
Who was he?
What was he doing here still? Living in a lie.
Why was here he in the first place?
Breath,
In.
Out…
In?
He coughed and sat up, his fists now closing on the linen sheets that were underneath him instead of the empty air. He didn't want to leave. That was the problem. He'd felt wanted for the first time. He'd felt loved…
Could he really lie to these people…?
/Do you have a choice kitten?/
He shook his head. No. No, he didn't have a choice. This was the only home he had right now. The only shelter…
God. Let time pass quickly…