Soft cinnamon eyes fluttered open, flashing harmlessly in the
bright reflection of the sun's light. A yawn stretched a small mouth
of a newly-made adult, nestled in a cocoon of silk sheets and plush
pillows, and a slight hand rose to cover blinking eyes from the
invading sun. The pure crystal walls that encase the woman hardly
helped to rid the room of golden light, and after a minute of
struggle, a annoyed groan echoed in the room. The young woman in the
bed sat up, and leaned against her pillows grumpily, shoving errant
waves of pink hair out of her eyes. 'Why am I awake, and why is it
so bright,' she thought darkly, stealing a glance at her alarm
clock. A moan escaped her lips, and she bit back a string of
inappropriate curses. '10 o'clock in the morning? Damn the sun.
It rises much too early for my taste.'
Stretching her slim arms over her head, the woman looked at the day calendar on her bedside table. June 30th. Her 18th birthday. An adult at last. A strange, distant look dashed across her face, and she frowned. 'Why aren't I happier about it?'
A knock sounded on the door, startling her. The odd look faded away quickly, and she slipped out of bed, straightening her lapis silk pajamas, and walking to the door. A subdued hope rose in her heart. 'This year. . . . . Maybe this year, it will be them.' She opened the snow-white marble door, trying not to look to expectant, and came face to face with a friendly, chipper maid. Her heart dropped to her stomach as the young lady dipped into a curtsy, and held out an envelope. She took it slowly, nodding with a small smile of thanks to the lady, and closed the door, a faint disappointment echoing through her.
They hadn't come. Every year she hoped, and every year her hopes were dashed. Why had she thought that her 18th birthday would be any different to them then the rest? She sighed softly, leaning against the cool marble, and tore the envelope open. Maybe they sent a note. Her parents seemed more like note-people than personal appearances. She let the envelope drop, and unfolded the paper, looking over it half-heartedly.
Schedule of Events for June 30:
12:30: Lunch with the King and Queen
2:30: Public Audience with Citizens
4:30: Workout with Sailors Jupiter and Mars
6:00: Private Time
7:00: Private Family Dinner
9:00: Celebratory Ball
The paper fluttered to the cold crystal floor, and she closed her eyes, anger pooling in the pit of her stomach. 'A schedule. They give me a schedule on my birthday. How far will they go?'
Her hands clenched into small fists, and she opened her eyes, red-hot with ire. After quickly stooping down to get the fallen paper, she walked to her closet, and opened the doors with a flourish. This called for extreme measures. And, an extreme amount of courage.
"Mother."
Serenity looked up from her paperwork at her cherry desk to see her only daughter standing in the doorway of her office, looking angry in her cinnamon gaze. In her hand she clutched a cream- colored paper, and the tone of her voice told her mother that an argument was to follow. The older woman sighed silently, and straightened in her chair, meeting her daughter's gaze with ice blue. "Usagi, how nice to see you awake. Please, come in," she said gently, pushing away her papers.
Usagi stalked into the cozy office, and slammed the slightly crumpled paper onto the surface of the desk. Serenity gazed at the words for a moment, and then turned her eyes upward. The tautness on her daughter's face worried her. "Yes? What is it?"
The dark eyes narrowed. "It's a schedule."
Serenity raised her eyebrow questioningly. "You get them every day, Usagi. Is there a problem with the times?"
Disbelief washed over Usagi's face, and she stepped back from her mother in shock. "Mother, it's my birthday! How can you give me a schedule on my birthday?"
Tired eyes closed for a moment, then opened back up as cool and possessed as usual. "As a princess, your public life can't stop just for a birthday. It's my birthday as well, but I have things to do. I thought you had realized this."
"What the hell are you talking about? When did work become more important then a family celebration?" Usagi's voice rose to a low scream, drawing the attention of a few people in the hall. Endymion, whose office was across the hall, opened his door, concern creasing his face.
Serenity stood, meeting the fierce glare of her daughter. "To be a successful ruler, you have to dedicate yourself to your people. There isn't time to stop and think of yourself." As the words escaped her mouth, a secret part of herself protested, and was muffled.
Usagi's eyes widened, and began to glimmer with unshed tears. "What happened to you, Mother? Why are you so cold? What happened to the you who enjoyed having a family, and actually went on the spur of the moment?" 'The you of the past,' she added silently.
Serenity watched her child struggle not to cry, and for a moment wondered what she had become. 'Is this the way to prepare her? Am I scarring her more than helping? No,' she thought sadly. 'This is what she needs to learn. Only fully giving yourself to your people can you keep the peace. This is what she will deal with.' She inhaled deeply, and squared her shoulders, reaching out with one slim hand to her daughter's arm. "Usagi, I'm only trying to teach you what you will be---"
Usagi pulled away, glaring at her startled mother. 'Ah! A feeling,' she thought. "I can't do it this way. I can't be you," she stated coldly. Then, she picked up her schedule, and walked out of the road, not meeting the troubled eyes of her father as she passed through the hall, back to her own rooms.
Serenity closed her eyes, holding back errant tears. 'What else can you do, Usa,' she thought sadly as her husband came into the room quietly, watching her carefully. 'You are the heir. You will be me. There is no escape from that fate.'
"But, haven't we escaped fate before, Ren?"
She opened her eyes at his voice, and gazed at him gently. He walked towards her, blue clashing with blue. "We've tricked fate. Who are we to say she can't," he asked softly, taking her hand, and holding it soothingly in his.
Her cool gaze melts under his, and she smiles crookedly. "It's different for her, Endy. She's the only heir. No one can spare her from her duty. And, we have to prepare her for her life."
Frosty tears slid unchecked down Usagi's face as she pushed her way through the hectic streets of her city, running away from a world she's grown to hate, racing towards her only constant. Her telltale hair was pulled up and covered by a baseball cap, and she traded the formal gown for a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, melting convincingly into the normal populace with ease. How many times had she escaped from the watchful eyes of her mother into safety by way of the city she adores? How many times had she snuck away to meet her real world, the only world she'd need to survive?
Wiping her cheeks swiftly, she ducked into a corner bookstore, and immediately inhaled the calming scent of ancient pages and herbal teas. This was a sanctuary, a place where nothing could ache or hurt. Sailor Mercury, on one of her long-ago off-days, had brought her here at the age of ten, hoping something would click, and she wouldn't ignore her studies, like her mother did in her early years. And, something did click. Usagi latched onto the small, comfy store, running to it when the world started to spin around her. One time, on one of her last visits to the 20th century, she made Mamoru and Usagi bring her to this corner, and felt a real joy when she saw the very store, then in its youth.
Something inside her clenched, and Usagi shook her head, walking slowly to the small cluster of reading tables in the back of the store. Yes, Mamoru and Usagi would bring her here, enjoying the sight of their future daughter happy and joyful. But, Serenity and Endymion didn't. And, she gave up hope many years ago that they ever would. It made her long for the past she could never visit, a restriction placed by her 12th birthday, by her own mother.
~Flashback~
"But, Mama! Why not? Makoto was going to show me how to make cookies from scratch!"
"Usagi, the past is over. You have to stop dwelling in it, and concentrate on learning the rules of royalty."
~End Flashback~
A rueful smile creased Usagi's mouth. After that day, the schedules began to arrive on a daily basis, except on birthdays. There was always a respite on birthdays. And, those days have passed, so it seems.
"Usa! Usa!"
She looked in the direction of the warm voice calling her nickname softly, and saw a young man sitting at a table in the back of the knot of tables, holding out a tan hand to her. His golden-brown eyes smiled lovingly at her, and she grinned, feeling a quiet peace come over her at the sight of him. "Aki, you came," she murmured, reaching out and taking his hand.
Aki pulled her gently into the chair next to him, entwining her fingers with his, and leaning over. "Of course I did. You sounded completely hopeless on the phone. I had to come." He kissed her cheek gently, and she felt a few strands of his golden hair fall in her eyes. "Besides," he added, pulling away with a quirky grin, "It's your birthday. I couldn't miss that."
She sighed despondently, looking at her boyfriend of about two years. He was the son of Hanari Mokoti, a prominent politician and member of the Crystal Tokyo Council, a sort-of parliament-type of assembly created by the King in the early years of his rule. They met at an official function, and began secretly dating soon after. The secrecy was necessary, because her mother was searching for a man of nobility for her to marry, and as wonderful as Aki was, he didn't fit the criteria. Another part of Usagi's life that she and her mother were at war with, like so much else since she hit the teen years.
Aki watched her beautiful dark eyes glaze over, and squeezed her hand. Usagi jumped slightly, looking at him with an apology in her gaze. He smiled gently. "What's wrong today, Usa? Is it your mother again?"
"She gave me a schedule."
His eyes widened in dismayed surprise. "On your birthday?"
She nodded, chuckling harshly. "Yes, on my birthday. Kami, she's become a robot. I thought I saw something human in her, but I know that was an illusion. I don't understand what happened to her."
He stroked the top of her hand with his thumb lightly, causing her to shiver happily. "Ruling the world must be a terrible job. She's just trying to help you."
"Some help. I need a mother, not a dictator." She sighed, a bitter look crossing her face. "Oh well. I can't expect more then what she is."
Aki smiled gently. "I'm sorry, Usa. But, it is still your birthday, and I have a present for you."
Usagi perked up immensely at his words. "Really? Aki, you shouldn't have."
"And why not? You deserve it." He brushed his lips across hers for a moment, then pulled back, one hand reaching into the pocket of his jeans. "Anyway, this is special. I love you, Usagi. You know that. And, while I'm in Scotland for school, I want you to have this." He opened his free hand, and her heart stopped in shock. A small velvet box sat in the center of his palm, black against his tan skin.
With a shaking hand, she took the box from him, and stared at it with disbelief for a moment. Finally, under his gentle eyes, she released his hand from hers, and lifted the lid of the box. A gasp escaped her lips as she gazed upon a small diamond set on a silver band, glinting softly in the dim light of the bookstore. An overwhelming sense of joy filtered through her, and she looked up with wide cinnamon eyes at Aki's face. "Is this. . . . ."
He nodded, grinning at her. "Yes, Usa. Will you wait for me while I'm in Scotland?"
Her heart pounded against her ribs as her thoughts flew wildly in her head. 'He wants to marry me! Won't Mother die with horror? What if she forbids me to? I won't leave Aki. I can't. Oh Kami, help me!'
A thought pushed into her head unbidden, and she froze, looking off into space in distraction. 'I won't leave Aki. I'll go with him. The thought of being Queen fills me with horror. I want to be free!'
She gazed straight into his eyes, and clutched the small box like a lifeline, a link to the bravery she needed to keep up. "Aki, I don't want to wait."
His brow furrows in confusion. "What?"
"I want to get married now. I'll go to Scotland with you," she said hurriedly, watching him for a reaction.
His jaw slackened, and he took her hand. "Usagi, are you serious? You want to give up your place, your throne, your family. For me?"
She nodded wildly. "Aki, I love you. And, I can't be what Mother wants me to be. I need my freedom, and I need you. No matter what I lose in the process."
He shook his head in disbelief. "But, you're the heir! People know you everywhere. How could we pull something off like this?"
"I'd fix it all up, Aki. You wouldn't recognize me. They'll never find us, Aki! We can be together with no one to stop us!" She clasped his hand tightly, searching his gaze. "Are you willing to do this with me?"
He gazed at her silently for a moment, mind whirling. 'Abandon my life, my home, my family. Could I do that?' Suddenly, he leaned over, and kissed her, taking the choice away from his logical brain. 'I love her more than anything. I would do anything for her.' As he pulled away, he spoke. "I would do anything for you, Usa. When do you want to leave?"
Rapture filled her gaze, and she leapt into his arms, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders. "Oh, Aki! We can finally live!" She pulled her head back to gaze at his. His eyes were full of the love and caring that she had never expected in her lifetime. She kissed his cheek softly. "Let's go tonight. How about that?"
He smiled, brushing his lips against his. "That would be wonderful."
Serenity watched from the shadows of a pillar as her only daughter pasted on a smile for the well-meaning son of a noble, heart fracturing at the sight. This reminded her of her own 18th birthday, long ago on the Moon. The same push for freedom, same fake curve to her lips---it's all as she remembered it. Only, she never lived out her rebellion, and Usagi was straining at the bit, breaking away little by little. The queen's pale face creased in the shadows of the great ballroom, and she stepped farther back into the shadows, feeling cool crystal against her bare back, something inside her searching for a moment of darkness, a fleeting flight of silence.
Her only child despised her, and there wasn't a thing she can change about it. In the darkness of her bedroom, listening to the soft breathing of her husband, she wondered at herself, at what she'd become. Was there anything left from her old self inside this shell of a woman? All Usagi saw is a robot, a ruler who cared nothing for her own family, a leader first, mother second. Was that who she really was? Had she lost all her youth in the years past?
Serenity sighed, closing her eyes. It didn't matter anymore. Usagi was the heir, and she had to learn the hardships of royal rule before she began her reign. 'You don't understand now, Usagi. This may seem like a prison, and I may seem unfeeling, but you will understand soon. This is necessary for the strength of our world,' she thought sadly, feeling the truth in her words, and muffling the protest inside her dying soul.
Usagi muffled a yawn, glancing at the silver watch gracefully adorning her slim wrist. Quarter to eleven. She took a deep breath, and straightened up. Time to say goodbye. She turned briskly, and found herself face-to-face with her father, questioning eyebrow raised. She gulped, and smiled cheerfully up at him. "Hi, Papa."
Endymion looked at her slyly while taking her elbow. "Where were you headed off to, Usagi," he muttered from the corner of his smiling mouth as they glide across the cavernous room towards a side door.
She flinched internally at his probe, floundering for some excuse as he leads her along. "Ummm. . . .Well. . . ."
They ducked into the shadows, and he found the almost-invisible side door, smiling at his bewildered daughter. "Never mind, Usagi. Go on up to your room, or the kitchen for some food. You hardly ate a thing at dinner," he admonished gently, releasing her elbow.
Cinnamon eyes widened, and she gaped at her grinning father. "But, what about Mama? Won't she be mad at me," she whimpered.
He winked at her cheerfully. "I'll take care of it, Usagi. It's your birthday. You shouldn't be stuck in a stuffy ballroom. If I know anything about you, it's that you're like your mother, and your mother would want to be freed for her 18th birthday."
Her throat closed with tears, and she wrapped her arms around her startled father, feeling a pang of loneliness already. Her father was always wonderful to her, and a great teacher, even if he was a bit closed-off most of the time. But, when he got sentimental, she could always tell it was sincere. "Thank you, Papa," she whispered, hugging him with all her might.
Endymion smiled gently, patting her shoulder softly. "Happy Birthday, Usagi," he replied before releasing her. "I'll see you in the morning."
Tears threatened to strangle her, but she smiled reassuringly, and slipped through the unnoticeable door, and into a small passage. Endymion watched the little door for a moment, smiling at the thought of his little girl. Finally, he stepped back out into the lights and music of the celebration, and made his way over to his wife, who was standing near the front door, speaking with Sailor Venus. Venus's left hand is occupied by the toddler at her side, her little son.
The little boy, almost 3 years old, twisted the rings on his mother's hand and looked up to see Endymion coming up to stand with them. He released his mother's hands, and clapped his hands together. "Uncle Endy! Uncle Endy!"
Endymion smiled down at the little boy, coming up to stand next to his wife, and looked at a blushing Venus. "Masaki came for the party, I see," he commented lightly.
Venus nodded. "Yes---although we are leaving right about now." She looked pointedly at Serenity, and tugged on Masaki's hand. "Come on, sweetie. Let's go. I'll tell you a story. . . ." Her voice trailed off as she and Masaki melted into the crowd, leaving Serenity and Endymion relatively alone in their corner of the ballroom.
Serenity looked up at him curiously. "Where's Usagi," she asked, concern edging her voice.
He shrugged, wrapping an arm around her waist. "I let her go up to her room. She didn't want to be here, and it's her birthday. And besides, it's your birthday, too. You can't expect me to let you waste the night away in this stuffy room," he replied suggestively, pulling her closer to him.
The impassive look that had been on her face all evening began to fade away, and she smiled up at him, squeezing his wrist. "Oh, really? What are your plans for me," she teased lightly.
He grinned rakishly down at her, tracing the line of her delicate jaw with his free hand. She was only this free around him and their close friends, reverting back to a glimmer of her old self. Sometimes, he missed that Usagi, the one who would giggle, trip into his arms with an endearing smile, and tease his studious ways before stealing his textbooks from him impishly. He understood why she wasn't like that anymore, but he still missed that part of her. Shaking his head slightly, he leaned down, and nipped her nose lightly. "Are you willing to abandon the party to find out," he murmurs softly into her ear, nibbling on her earlobe.
She sighed gently, relishing the beginning of the birthday tradition. They would have a huge party to distract everyone else, then sneak away for their own private presents and celebration. Without fail, on every birthday, one spouse would initiate it, and the other would whole-heartedly agree. Already, she was melting under his soft actions, and she couldn't stop herself if she wanted to. "Absolutely," she replied breathlessly.
Smiling to himself, he scooped her up into his arms, and headed hurriedly for the door, trying to quiet her giggles as best as possible, so not to be noticed. And, they slip away secretly, off to their own little world, not a concern passing in their minds of the motives of their child.
Her hands shook as she took the glimmering gem out of her jacket pocket, watching it as it glinted pink in the fluorescent lights of an airport bathroom. Her baseball cap came off moments ago, leaving her now-shoulder-length cotton-candy hair resting on her neck. She gazed at the reflection in the wide mirror for a moment, looking wistfully at her unusual hair color for the last time. She had grown to like the curious hue over her years, but had no qualms about ridding herself of it. It was a reminder of all she hated, all she wanted to leave behind.
Her fingers closed around her crystal, her Pink Moon Crystal, to guard her eyes from the bright light about to emit from it as it performed the biggest changes of her life. She closed her eyes, and murmured, "Change me," under her breath. The crystal flared to life in her hand, warming her palm, and a sudden burst of light enveloped her form for a brief moment before there was only the darkness of her closed eyes. Anxiously, she cracked open an eye, and gasped.
Her dark cinnamon eyes were no more; Green-grey irises stared back at her pale face, looking only at the hair that once was pink. It was brown, a rich hue she borrowed from Makoto, and perfectly straight. Not a wavy strand in sight, and it gladdened her. No one could tell her from one pedestrian from another, and she took heart in it. She smiled at her reflection, and it smiled back, telling of happier times ahead.
The PA system crackled over her head, and announced her and Masaki's flight was boarding, and fear clenched her heart. This was the moment she dreaded; She had to sever her bond with the crystal, and in so doing sever her bond with her parents, so they can never find her. Her breath quickened, her heart fluttered. As soon as she did this final act, they would know. And, they would feel pain, endless pain. But, no more than her pain.
She set her face in determination, and held the dimmed crystal to her breast, next to her pumping heart. 'Let it be no more. Let me be one, alone, singular. May you only come to use at my final call, to use of my child if need be. Be silent now, and cut your ties,' she thought calmly, closing her eyes, reaching out with the crystal to her bond, red as fire in her mind's eye. Tears threatened her lids as she whispered a silent goodbye to her unaware parents, and deftly sliced through the ruby link, weakness filling her as power left her veins, the cord now lifeless and black. She opened her eyes, face set to the future, and left the restroom, leaving her cap behind on the floor.
Serenity shot up like a rocket from her husband's arms, the sleep fully gone from her eyes. Silk rustled against her nude form, and she felt him wake beside her, feeling his confusion in her blood. "Ren, what did I just feel," he muttered, pushing the hair from his eyes.
She was silent, eyes screwed shut tightly, reaching with her power for a link she can't feel anymore. She looked for the ruby cord, usually brightest in her heart, and all she saw was black. A gasp escaped her lips, and horror engulfed her heart swiftly. Endymion jerked stiffly beside her, and she knew he saw it, too.
Pulling the sheets around her nudity, she leapt from the plush bed, pillows flying across the floor, and raced for the door, hearing Endymion's footsteps rapidly behind her. As she run breathlessly down the hall, bedroom doors opened, and her Senshi stepped outside their rooms, wild look of dread in their eyes. Serenity didn't glance at them, only pushed on, running faster than she had for almost a thousand years. 'They felt it, too,' she thought. 'I'm not hallucinating. Her bond is cut.'
Bursting into her daughter's room, she was stilled at the doorway, eyes sweeping over a placid, undisturbed bed. A note rested on the pale pink pillows at the head, and she walked slowly over to it, ignoring the gasps coming from her friends and husband as they enter the tomb-like room. With shaking hands, she lifted the note, and unfolded it to read:
'I can't be you.'
Her heart stopped, ice freezing her veins. The rebellion was complete. What she herself could not do, her daughter did. Silence reigned as Endymion gently took the note from his inanimate wife, and read the sentence silently, grief etched in his features as the realization smashed into him. He gazed at Serenity painfully, touching her shoulder. Her lip trembled, and she entered his embrace gratefully, sobbing silent tears of agony into his bare shoulder. The Senshi looked on in quiet sorrow as midnight came, and there were no stars in the inky sky; Only the dim lights of airplanes leaving and arriving were visible to those who looked.
Stretching her slim arms over her head, the woman looked at the day calendar on her bedside table. June 30th. Her 18th birthday. An adult at last. A strange, distant look dashed across her face, and she frowned. 'Why aren't I happier about it?'
A knock sounded on the door, startling her. The odd look faded away quickly, and she slipped out of bed, straightening her lapis silk pajamas, and walking to the door. A subdued hope rose in her heart. 'This year. . . . . Maybe this year, it will be them.' She opened the snow-white marble door, trying not to look to expectant, and came face to face with a friendly, chipper maid. Her heart dropped to her stomach as the young lady dipped into a curtsy, and held out an envelope. She took it slowly, nodding with a small smile of thanks to the lady, and closed the door, a faint disappointment echoing through her.
They hadn't come. Every year she hoped, and every year her hopes were dashed. Why had she thought that her 18th birthday would be any different to them then the rest? She sighed softly, leaning against the cool marble, and tore the envelope open. Maybe they sent a note. Her parents seemed more like note-people than personal appearances. She let the envelope drop, and unfolded the paper, looking over it half-heartedly.
Schedule of Events for June 30:
12:30: Lunch with the King and Queen
2:30: Public Audience with Citizens
4:30: Workout with Sailors Jupiter and Mars
6:00: Private Time
7:00: Private Family Dinner
9:00: Celebratory Ball
The paper fluttered to the cold crystal floor, and she closed her eyes, anger pooling in the pit of her stomach. 'A schedule. They give me a schedule on my birthday. How far will they go?'
Her hands clenched into small fists, and she opened her eyes, red-hot with ire. After quickly stooping down to get the fallen paper, she walked to her closet, and opened the doors with a flourish. This called for extreme measures. And, an extreme amount of courage.
"Mother."
Serenity looked up from her paperwork at her cherry desk to see her only daughter standing in the doorway of her office, looking angry in her cinnamon gaze. In her hand she clutched a cream- colored paper, and the tone of her voice told her mother that an argument was to follow. The older woman sighed silently, and straightened in her chair, meeting her daughter's gaze with ice blue. "Usagi, how nice to see you awake. Please, come in," she said gently, pushing away her papers.
Usagi stalked into the cozy office, and slammed the slightly crumpled paper onto the surface of the desk. Serenity gazed at the words for a moment, and then turned her eyes upward. The tautness on her daughter's face worried her. "Yes? What is it?"
The dark eyes narrowed. "It's a schedule."
Serenity raised her eyebrow questioningly. "You get them every day, Usagi. Is there a problem with the times?"
Disbelief washed over Usagi's face, and she stepped back from her mother in shock. "Mother, it's my birthday! How can you give me a schedule on my birthday?"
Tired eyes closed for a moment, then opened back up as cool and possessed as usual. "As a princess, your public life can't stop just for a birthday. It's my birthday as well, but I have things to do. I thought you had realized this."
"What the hell are you talking about? When did work become more important then a family celebration?" Usagi's voice rose to a low scream, drawing the attention of a few people in the hall. Endymion, whose office was across the hall, opened his door, concern creasing his face.
Serenity stood, meeting the fierce glare of her daughter. "To be a successful ruler, you have to dedicate yourself to your people. There isn't time to stop and think of yourself." As the words escaped her mouth, a secret part of herself protested, and was muffled.
Usagi's eyes widened, and began to glimmer with unshed tears. "What happened to you, Mother? Why are you so cold? What happened to the you who enjoyed having a family, and actually went on the spur of the moment?" 'The you of the past,' she added silently.
Serenity watched her child struggle not to cry, and for a moment wondered what she had become. 'Is this the way to prepare her? Am I scarring her more than helping? No,' she thought sadly. 'This is what she needs to learn. Only fully giving yourself to your people can you keep the peace. This is what she will deal with.' She inhaled deeply, and squared her shoulders, reaching out with one slim hand to her daughter's arm. "Usagi, I'm only trying to teach you what you will be---"
Usagi pulled away, glaring at her startled mother. 'Ah! A feeling,' she thought. "I can't do it this way. I can't be you," she stated coldly. Then, she picked up her schedule, and walked out of the road, not meeting the troubled eyes of her father as she passed through the hall, back to her own rooms.
Serenity closed her eyes, holding back errant tears. 'What else can you do, Usa,' she thought sadly as her husband came into the room quietly, watching her carefully. 'You are the heir. You will be me. There is no escape from that fate.'
"But, haven't we escaped fate before, Ren?"
She opened her eyes at his voice, and gazed at him gently. He walked towards her, blue clashing with blue. "We've tricked fate. Who are we to say she can't," he asked softly, taking her hand, and holding it soothingly in his.
Her cool gaze melts under his, and she smiles crookedly. "It's different for her, Endy. She's the only heir. No one can spare her from her duty. And, we have to prepare her for her life."
Frosty tears slid unchecked down Usagi's face as she pushed her way through the hectic streets of her city, running away from a world she's grown to hate, racing towards her only constant. Her telltale hair was pulled up and covered by a baseball cap, and she traded the formal gown for a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, melting convincingly into the normal populace with ease. How many times had she escaped from the watchful eyes of her mother into safety by way of the city she adores? How many times had she snuck away to meet her real world, the only world she'd need to survive?
Wiping her cheeks swiftly, she ducked into a corner bookstore, and immediately inhaled the calming scent of ancient pages and herbal teas. This was a sanctuary, a place where nothing could ache or hurt. Sailor Mercury, on one of her long-ago off-days, had brought her here at the age of ten, hoping something would click, and she wouldn't ignore her studies, like her mother did in her early years. And, something did click. Usagi latched onto the small, comfy store, running to it when the world started to spin around her. One time, on one of her last visits to the 20th century, she made Mamoru and Usagi bring her to this corner, and felt a real joy when she saw the very store, then in its youth.
Something inside her clenched, and Usagi shook her head, walking slowly to the small cluster of reading tables in the back of the store. Yes, Mamoru and Usagi would bring her here, enjoying the sight of their future daughter happy and joyful. But, Serenity and Endymion didn't. And, she gave up hope many years ago that they ever would. It made her long for the past she could never visit, a restriction placed by her 12th birthday, by her own mother.
~Flashback~
"But, Mama! Why not? Makoto was going to show me how to make cookies from scratch!"
"Usagi, the past is over. You have to stop dwelling in it, and concentrate on learning the rules of royalty."
~End Flashback~
A rueful smile creased Usagi's mouth. After that day, the schedules began to arrive on a daily basis, except on birthdays. There was always a respite on birthdays. And, those days have passed, so it seems.
"Usa! Usa!"
She looked in the direction of the warm voice calling her nickname softly, and saw a young man sitting at a table in the back of the knot of tables, holding out a tan hand to her. His golden-brown eyes smiled lovingly at her, and she grinned, feeling a quiet peace come over her at the sight of him. "Aki, you came," she murmured, reaching out and taking his hand.
Aki pulled her gently into the chair next to him, entwining her fingers with his, and leaning over. "Of course I did. You sounded completely hopeless on the phone. I had to come." He kissed her cheek gently, and she felt a few strands of his golden hair fall in her eyes. "Besides," he added, pulling away with a quirky grin, "It's your birthday. I couldn't miss that."
She sighed despondently, looking at her boyfriend of about two years. He was the son of Hanari Mokoti, a prominent politician and member of the Crystal Tokyo Council, a sort-of parliament-type of assembly created by the King in the early years of his rule. They met at an official function, and began secretly dating soon after. The secrecy was necessary, because her mother was searching for a man of nobility for her to marry, and as wonderful as Aki was, he didn't fit the criteria. Another part of Usagi's life that she and her mother were at war with, like so much else since she hit the teen years.
Aki watched her beautiful dark eyes glaze over, and squeezed her hand. Usagi jumped slightly, looking at him with an apology in her gaze. He smiled gently. "What's wrong today, Usa? Is it your mother again?"
"She gave me a schedule."
His eyes widened in dismayed surprise. "On your birthday?"
She nodded, chuckling harshly. "Yes, on my birthday. Kami, she's become a robot. I thought I saw something human in her, but I know that was an illusion. I don't understand what happened to her."
He stroked the top of her hand with his thumb lightly, causing her to shiver happily. "Ruling the world must be a terrible job. She's just trying to help you."
"Some help. I need a mother, not a dictator." She sighed, a bitter look crossing her face. "Oh well. I can't expect more then what she is."
Aki smiled gently. "I'm sorry, Usa. But, it is still your birthday, and I have a present for you."
Usagi perked up immensely at his words. "Really? Aki, you shouldn't have."
"And why not? You deserve it." He brushed his lips across hers for a moment, then pulled back, one hand reaching into the pocket of his jeans. "Anyway, this is special. I love you, Usagi. You know that. And, while I'm in Scotland for school, I want you to have this." He opened his free hand, and her heart stopped in shock. A small velvet box sat in the center of his palm, black against his tan skin.
With a shaking hand, she took the box from him, and stared at it with disbelief for a moment. Finally, under his gentle eyes, she released his hand from hers, and lifted the lid of the box. A gasp escaped her lips as she gazed upon a small diamond set on a silver band, glinting softly in the dim light of the bookstore. An overwhelming sense of joy filtered through her, and she looked up with wide cinnamon eyes at Aki's face. "Is this. . . . ."
He nodded, grinning at her. "Yes, Usa. Will you wait for me while I'm in Scotland?"
Her heart pounded against her ribs as her thoughts flew wildly in her head. 'He wants to marry me! Won't Mother die with horror? What if she forbids me to? I won't leave Aki. I can't. Oh Kami, help me!'
A thought pushed into her head unbidden, and she froze, looking off into space in distraction. 'I won't leave Aki. I'll go with him. The thought of being Queen fills me with horror. I want to be free!'
She gazed straight into his eyes, and clutched the small box like a lifeline, a link to the bravery she needed to keep up. "Aki, I don't want to wait."
His brow furrows in confusion. "What?"
"I want to get married now. I'll go to Scotland with you," she said hurriedly, watching him for a reaction.
His jaw slackened, and he took her hand. "Usagi, are you serious? You want to give up your place, your throne, your family. For me?"
She nodded wildly. "Aki, I love you. And, I can't be what Mother wants me to be. I need my freedom, and I need you. No matter what I lose in the process."
He shook his head in disbelief. "But, you're the heir! People know you everywhere. How could we pull something off like this?"
"I'd fix it all up, Aki. You wouldn't recognize me. They'll never find us, Aki! We can be together with no one to stop us!" She clasped his hand tightly, searching his gaze. "Are you willing to do this with me?"
He gazed at her silently for a moment, mind whirling. 'Abandon my life, my home, my family. Could I do that?' Suddenly, he leaned over, and kissed her, taking the choice away from his logical brain. 'I love her more than anything. I would do anything for her.' As he pulled away, he spoke. "I would do anything for you, Usa. When do you want to leave?"
Rapture filled her gaze, and she leapt into his arms, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders. "Oh, Aki! We can finally live!" She pulled her head back to gaze at his. His eyes were full of the love and caring that she had never expected in her lifetime. She kissed his cheek softly. "Let's go tonight. How about that?"
He smiled, brushing his lips against his. "That would be wonderful."
Serenity watched from the shadows of a pillar as her only daughter pasted on a smile for the well-meaning son of a noble, heart fracturing at the sight. This reminded her of her own 18th birthday, long ago on the Moon. The same push for freedom, same fake curve to her lips---it's all as she remembered it. Only, she never lived out her rebellion, and Usagi was straining at the bit, breaking away little by little. The queen's pale face creased in the shadows of the great ballroom, and she stepped farther back into the shadows, feeling cool crystal against her bare back, something inside her searching for a moment of darkness, a fleeting flight of silence.
Her only child despised her, and there wasn't a thing she can change about it. In the darkness of her bedroom, listening to the soft breathing of her husband, she wondered at herself, at what she'd become. Was there anything left from her old self inside this shell of a woman? All Usagi saw is a robot, a ruler who cared nothing for her own family, a leader first, mother second. Was that who she really was? Had she lost all her youth in the years past?
Serenity sighed, closing her eyes. It didn't matter anymore. Usagi was the heir, and she had to learn the hardships of royal rule before she began her reign. 'You don't understand now, Usagi. This may seem like a prison, and I may seem unfeeling, but you will understand soon. This is necessary for the strength of our world,' she thought sadly, feeling the truth in her words, and muffling the protest inside her dying soul.
Usagi muffled a yawn, glancing at the silver watch gracefully adorning her slim wrist. Quarter to eleven. She took a deep breath, and straightened up. Time to say goodbye. She turned briskly, and found herself face-to-face with her father, questioning eyebrow raised. She gulped, and smiled cheerfully up at him. "Hi, Papa."
Endymion looked at her slyly while taking her elbow. "Where were you headed off to, Usagi," he muttered from the corner of his smiling mouth as they glide across the cavernous room towards a side door.
She flinched internally at his probe, floundering for some excuse as he leads her along. "Ummm. . . .Well. . . ."
They ducked into the shadows, and he found the almost-invisible side door, smiling at his bewildered daughter. "Never mind, Usagi. Go on up to your room, or the kitchen for some food. You hardly ate a thing at dinner," he admonished gently, releasing her elbow.
Cinnamon eyes widened, and she gaped at her grinning father. "But, what about Mama? Won't she be mad at me," she whimpered.
He winked at her cheerfully. "I'll take care of it, Usagi. It's your birthday. You shouldn't be stuck in a stuffy ballroom. If I know anything about you, it's that you're like your mother, and your mother would want to be freed for her 18th birthday."
Her throat closed with tears, and she wrapped her arms around her startled father, feeling a pang of loneliness already. Her father was always wonderful to her, and a great teacher, even if he was a bit closed-off most of the time. But, when he got sentimental, she could always tell it was sincere. "Thank you, Papa," she whispered, hugging him with all her might.
Endymion smiled gently, patting her shoulder softly. "Happy Birthday, Usagi," he replied before releasing her. "I'll see you in the morning."
Tears threatened to strangle her, but she smiled reassuringly, and slipped through the unnoticeable door, and into a small passage. Endymion watched the little door for a moment, smiling at the thought of his little girl. Finally, he stepped back out into the lights and music of the celebration, and made his way over to his wife, who was standing near the front door, speaking with Sailor Venus. Venus's left hand is occupied by the toddler at her side, her little son.
The little boy, almost 3 years old, twisted the rings on his mother's hand and looked up to see Endymion coming up to stand with them. He released his mother's hands, and clapped his hands together. "Uncle Endy! Uncle Endy!"
Endymion smiled down at the little boy, coming up to stand next to his wife, and looked at a blushing Venus. "Masaki came for the party, I see," he commented lightly.
Venus nodded. "Yes---although we are leaving right about now." She looked pointedly at Serenity, and tugged on Masaki's hand. "Come on, sweetie. Let's go. I'll tell you a story. . . ." Her voice trailed off as she and Masaki melted into the crowd, leaving Serenity and Endymion relatively alone in their corner of the ballroom.
Serenity looked up at him curiously. "Where's Usagi," she asked, concern edging her voice.
He shrugged, wrapping an arm around her waist. "I let her go up to her room. She didn't want to be here, and it's her birthday. And besides, it's your birthday, too. You can't expect me to let you waste the night away in this stuffy room," he replied suggestively, pulling her closer to him.
The impassive look that had been on her face all evening began to fade away, and she smiled up at him, squeezing his wrist. "Oh, really? What are your plans for me," she teased lightly.
He grinned rakishly down at her, tracing the line of her delicate jaw with his free hand. She was only this free around him and their close friends, reverting back to a glimmer of her old self. Sometimes, he missed that Usagi, the one who would giggle, trip into his arms with an endearing smile, and tease his studious ways before stealing his textbooks from him impishly. He understood why she wasn't like that anymore, but he still missed that part of her. Shaking his head slightly, he leaned down, and nipped her nose lightly. "Are you willing to abandon the party to find out," he murmurs softly into her ear, nibbling on her earlobe.
She sighed gently, relishing the beginning of the birthday tradition. They would have a huge party to distract everyone else, then sneak away for their own private presents and celebration. Without fail, on every birthday, one spouse would initiate it, and the other would whole-heartedly agree. Already, she was melting under his soft actions, and she couldn't stop herself if she wanted to. "Absolutely," she replied breathlessly.
Smiling to himself, he scooped her up into his arms, and headed hurriedly for the door, trying to quiet her giggles as best as possible, so not to be noticed. And, they slip away secretly, off to their own little world, not a concern passing in their minds of the motives of their child.
Her hands shook as she took the glimmering gem out of her jacket pocket, watching it as it glinted pink in the fluorescent lights of an airport bathroom. Her baseball cap came off moments ago, leaving her now-shoulder-length cotton-candy hair resting on her neck. She gazed at the reflection in the wide mirror for a moment, looking wistfully at her unusual hair color for the last time. She had grown to like the curious hue over her years, but had no qualms about ridding herself of it. It was a reminder of all she hated, all she wanted to leave behind.
Her fingers closed around her crystal, her Pink Moon Crystal, to guard her eyes from the bright light about to emit from it as it performed the biggest changes of her life. She closed her eyes, and murmured, "Change me," under her breath. The crystal flared to life in her hand, warming her palm, and a sudden burst of light enveloped her form for a brief moment before there was only the darkness of her closed eyes. Anxiously, she cracked open an eye, and gasped.
Her dark cinnamon eyes were no more; Green-grey irises stared back at her pale face, looking only at the hair that once was pink. It was brown, a rich hue she borrowed from Makoto, and perfectly straight. Not a wavy strand in sight, and it gladdened her. No one could tell her from one pedestrian from another, and she took heart in it. She smiled at her reflection, and it smiled back, telling of happier times ahead.
The PA system crackled over her head, and announced her and Masaki's flight was boarding, and fear clenched her heart. This was the moment she dreaded; She had to sever her bond with the crystal, and in so doing sever her bond with her parents, so they can never find her. Her breath quickened, her heart fluttered. As soon as she did this final act, they would know. And, they would feel pain, endless pain. But, no more than her pain.
She set her face in determination, and held the dimmed crystal to her breast, next to her pumping heart. 'Let it be no more. Let me be one, alone, singular. May you only come to use at my final call, to use of my child if need be. Be silent now, and cut your ties,' she thought calmly, closing her eyes, reaching out with the crystal to her bond, red as fire in her mind's eye. Tears threatened her lids as she whispered a silent goodbye to her unaware parents, and deftly sliced through the ruby link, weakness filling her as power left her veins, the cord now lifeless and black. She opened her eyes, face set to the future, and left the restroom, leaving her cap behind on the floor.
Serenity shot up like a rocket from her husband's arms, the sleep fully gone from her eyes. Silk rustled against her nude form, and she felt him wake beside her, feeling his confusion in her blood. "Ren, what did I just feel," he muttered, pushing the hair from his eyes.
She was silent, eyes screwed shut tightly, reaching with her power for a link she can't feel anymore. She looked for the ruby cord, usually brightest in her heart, and all she saw was black. A gasp escaped her lips, and horror engulfed her heart swiftly. Endymion jerked stiffly beside her, and she knew he saw it, too.
Pulling the sheets around her nudity, she leapt from the plush bed, pillows flying across the floor, and raced for the door, hearing Endymion's footsteps rapidly behind her. As she run breathlessly down the hall, bedroom doors opened, and her Senshi stepped outside their rooms, wild look of dread in their eyes. Serenity didn't glance at them, only pushed on, running faster than she had for almost a thousand years. 'They felt it, too,' she thought. 'I'm not hallucinating. Her bond is cut.'
Bursting into her daughter's room, she was stilled at the doorway, eyes sweeping over a placid, undisturbed bed. A note rested on the pale pink pillows at the head, and she walked slowly over to it, ignoring the gasps coming from her friends and husband as they enter the tomb-like room. With shaking hands, she lifted the note, and unfolded it to read:
'I can't be you.'
Her heart stopped, ice freezing her veins. The rebellion was complete. What she herself could not do, her daughter did. Silence reigned as Endymion gently took the note from his inanimate wife, and read the sentence silently, grief etched in his features as the realization smashed into him. He gazed at Serenity painfully, touching her shoulder. Her lip trembled, and she entered his embrace gratefully, sobbing silent tears of agony into his bare shoulder. The Senshi looked on in quiet sorrow as midnight came, and there were no stars in the inky sky; Only the dim lights of airplanes leaving and arriving were visible to those who looked.