"How did you guess?" I ask finally. I wish now that I could see Trowa, if
just to see his expression.
"You never focus on anything." He said simply. "It didn't take a genius to work it out. And the way Paul guides you everywhere."
"Are you going to tell your sister then?" I ask. I can't believe that I got found out within a few hours of arriving here. Trowa is sure to tell Catherine, and she won't want a blind person doing stunts. I may as well pack my bags and leave now.
"I don't think you want me to." Trowa says simply. "My sister would be understanding you know. She would give you a fair chance."
"You can't be sure of that." I say. "Being a blind acrobat is like.well what do you do?"
"I'm a clown." Trowa replies.
"Well, it's like having a clown who doesn't have a sense of humour.or is allergic to custard pies!" I say. "Most acrobats rely on sight to tell them what to do. I'm at a huge disadvantage being blind."
"I understand." Trowa says quietly. I truly wish that I could see him. I don't know if he is being sincere. For all I know he could have his fingers crossed in front of my eyes.
"Sienne!" I hear Uncle Paul calling me. He's running towards us. I feel Trowa back off slightly as Paul approaches. "What on Earth happened?" Paul asks, taking in my wet clothes.
"I fell." I say simply. "I just slipped. Trowa helped me."
"Are you alright?" Paul is kneeling beside me, holding me tightly.
"I'm fine." I say, resting my head on his shoulder.
I can feel Paul flinch as my face turns skywards. He doesn't know that Trowa knows about me. I can almost hear his mind going into overdrive, trying to think of some excuse for my 'temporary' loss of sight.
"You have something in your eye." He says stiltedly.
"He knows." I say.
Paul turns to Trowa. I don't know what Paul is thinking. I can't read him as well as I normally can. "You know?" He asks.
"I guessed." Trowa says simply. "From the way she was acting in the water."
"I see." Paul turns back to me as Polly joins us. She takes Chip from my arms and wraps a blanket around me.
"Lets get you back to the van." She says. Paul pulls me up and begins guiding me away. He feels different though. He isn't so soft and understanding anymore. I can sense his anger and anticipation.
"I won't tell." Trowa says simply as I walk past. Standing next to Trowa for the first time I'm able to gather a lot about him. He is tall and solemn sounding. I wouldn't have guessed that he is a clown. I can feel him looking down at me and I realise that it was him who has been watching me all day.
"Thank you." I say as Paul guides me past. I climb gratefully into the warm caravan and Paul leaves while Polly helps me to get changed out of my wet clothes.
"Why don't you wear your pink skirt, you look lovely in that." Polly says.
"It doesn't matter." I say, stroking Chip gently. He is still shaking after his encounter with Canz. I slip into the dry clothes that Polly hands me. I can tell be her movements that there is something bothering her.
"I didn't do anything wrong." I say tersely.
"I didn't say that you did." She replies.
"Then why are you angry?" I ask. "I don't have to be able to see to tell that your aren't smiling."
"Why did you tell him?" Polly asks.
"I didn't, he guessed." I say.
Polly sighs. "You didn't have to admit it though."
I can feel myself getting angry. "What was a meant to do?" I ask hotly. "He saw me flailing around blindly in the water. I couldn't see which way to swim. I couldn't see Chips. I couldn't see you. I tried to say that I had something in my eye but already had his suspicions."
"I'm sorry." Polly says, but I can tell that she isn't. Or rather, she isn't entirely.
"Why do you care if he knows?" I ask, but as I ask the question I already know. "You're scared that he will tell his sister and she won't let us be part of the circus. You're just afraid of losing your job!" I shout.
"No." Polly says, but I can tell from her tone of voice that I have hit the nail on the head.
"I don't believe this." I say. "He saved my life. I could have drowned and you are worried about your jobs!" I stand up, accidentally dislodging Chip from my shoulder. He squeaks in indignation but leaps back onto my shoulder.
"I'm glad that he saved you." Polly says.
"Leave me alone." I say angrily. Polly doesn't move. "Leave me!" I shout, picking up my wet top from the bed and throwing it in her direction. I hear a slap as it hits her. She sighs and leaves. I throw myself onto the bed and stifle a scream of anger. I can't believe I just lost my temper with Polly. She is the nicest person I know and has brought me up like a daughter when we are not even related. I'm instantly sorry but I'm also scared to go out and find her. If I fall over everyone will realise that I am blind.
It dawns on me that the fact that Trowa guessed my secret will make me more conscious of how I disguise my disability. I reach over to where Chips is cowering, upset by my mood swing. I pull him over and bury my face in his fur. He chatters at me soothingly and licks my face. I don't move from my bed that day. Not even when the smell of food is so enticing that it makes me dizzy. I don't want to be around the circus people, I'm too scared that they will guess my secret.
Eventually I fall asleep. I'm vaguely aware of Paul coming in and covering my still form with a warm blanket. I snuggle down, determined to apologise to Polly in the morning. Now and then I hear snatches of laughter coming from the nearby campfire. I hear a bit of music and singing, then more screams of laughter. I half wish that I was out there, but then I realise that the other half of me wants to remain alone, away from the staring eyes of suspicious people.
"You never focus on anything." He said simply. "It didn't take a genius to work it out. And the way Paul guides you everywhere."
"Are you going to tell your sister then?" I ask. I can't believe that I got found out within a few hours of arriving here. Trowa is sure to tell Catherine, and she won't want a blind person doing stunts. I may as well pack my bags and leave now.
"I don't think you want me to." Trowa says simply. "My sister would be understanding you know. She would give you a fair chance."
"You can't be sure of that." I say. "Being a blind acrobat is like.well what do you do?"
"I'm a clown." Trowa replies.
"Well, it's like having a clown who doesn't have a sense of humour.or is allergic to custard pies!" I say. "Most acrobats rely on sight to tell them what to do. I'm at a huge disadvantage being blind."
"I understand." Trowa says quietly. I truly wish that I could see him. I don't know if he is being sincere. For all I know he could have his fingers crossed in front of my eyes.
"Sienne!" I hear Uncle Paul calling me. He's running towards us. I feel Trowa back off slightly as Paul approaches. "What on Earth happened?" Paul asks, taking in my wet clothes.
"I fell." I say simply. "I just slipped. Trowa helped me."
"Are you alright?" Paul is kneeling beside me, holding me tightly.
"I'm fine." I say, resting my head on his shoulder.
I can feel Paul flinch as my face turns skywards. He doesn't know that Trowa knows about me. I can almost hear his mind going into overdrive, trying to think of some excuse for my 'temporary' loss of sight.
"You have something in your eye." He says stiltedly.
"He knows." I say.
Paul turns to Trowa. I don't know what Paul is thinking. I can't read him as well as I normally can. "You know?" He asks.
"I guessed." Trowa says simply. "From the way she was acting in the water."
"I see." Paul turns back to me as Polly joins us. She takes Chip from my arms and wraps a blanket around me.
"Lets get you back to the van." She says. Paul pulls me up and begins guiding me away. He feels different though. He isn't so soft and understanding anymore. I can sense his anger and anticipation.
"I won't tell." Trowa says simply as I walk past. Standing next to Trowa for the first time I'm able to gather a lot about him. He is tall and solemn sounding. I wouldn't have guessed that he is a clown. I can feel him looking down at me and I realise that it was him who has been watching me all day.
"Thank you." I say as Paul guides me past. I climb gratefully into the warm caravan and Paul leaves while Polly helps me to get changed out of my wet clothes.
"Why don't you wear your pink skirt, you look lovely in that." Polly says.
"It doesn't matter." I say, stroking Chip gently. He is still shaking after his encounter with Canz. I slip into the dry clothes that Polly hands me. I can tell be her movements that there is something bothering her.
"I didn't do anything wrong." I say tersely.
"I didn't say that you did." She replies.
"Then why are you angry?" I ask. "I don't have to be able to see to tell that your aren't smiling."
"Why did you tell him?" Polly asks.
"I didn't, he guessed." I say.
Polly sighs. "You didn't have to admit it though."
I can feel myself getting angry. "What was a meant to do?" I ask hotly. "He saw me flailing around blindly in the water. I couldn't see which way to swim. I couldn't see Chips. I couldn't see you. I tried to say that I had something in my eye but already had his suspicions."
"I'm sorry." Polly says, but I can tell that she isn't. Or rather, she isn't entirely.
"Why do you care if he knows?" I ask, but as I ask the question I already know. "You're scared that he will tell his sister and she won't let us be part of the circus. You're just afraid of losing your job!" I shout.
"No." Polly says, but I can tell from her tone of voice that I have hit the nail on the head.
"I don't believe this." I say. "He saved my life. I could have drowned and you are worried about your jobs!" I stand up, accidentally dislodging Chip from my shoulder. He squeaks in indignation but leaps back onto my shoulder.
"I'm glad that he saved you." Polly says.
"Leave me alone." I say angrily. Polly doesn't move. "Leave me!" I shout, picking up my wet top from the bed and throwing it in her direction. I hear a slap as it hits her. She sighs and leaves. I throw myself onto the bed and stifle a scream of anger. I can't believe I just lost my temper with Polly. She is the nicest person I know and has brought me up like a daughter when we are not even related. I'm instantly sorry but I'm also scared to go out and find her. If I fall over everyone will realise that I am blind.
It dawns on me that the fact that Trowa guessed my secret will make me more conscious of how I disguise my disability. I reach over to where Chips is cowering, upset by my mood swing. I pull him over and bury my face in his fur. He chatters at me soothingly and licks my face. I don't move from my bed that day. Not even when the smell of food is so enticing that it makes me dizzy. I don't want to be around the circus people, I'm too scared that they will guess my secret.
Eventually I fall asleep. I'm vaguely aware of Paul coming in and covering my still form with a warm blanket. I snuggle down, determined to apologise to Polly in the morning. Now and then I hear snatches of laughter coming from the nearby campfire. I hear a bit of music and singing, then more screams of laughter. I half wish that I was out there, but then I realise that the other half of me wants to remain alone, away from the staring eyes of suspicious people.