When I wake up the next morning my stomach is tied in knots. Today I could
be given the chance to see again. I can barely contain my excitement. Or
my nerves. After about an hour of lying in bed I decide to get up and feed
the hyperactive butterflies in my stomach. Even the fact that I have to
spend the day with Trowa doesn't dampen my spirits.
I'm not the only person sitting by the campfire. A few people are already awake. I'm handed a bowl of porridge and try in vain to gulp some of it down. Eventually I give up and go back to my caravan to get changed. Polly is up by now. She finds me some clothes, talking animatedly as she does in the hope of easing my nerves.
"Here we are." She says, handing my some clothes. "I thought you should wear your smart pink shirt today. And here is your black knee length skirt, you will look very professional."
As I get dressed she talks even more. I can tell that she is as nervous as I am. "There." She says, as she finishes sorting my hair into some kind of order. "You look lovely." Chip jumps onto my shoulder and chatters to me. He doesn't seem to realise what an important day this could be for me.
I climb out of the caravan with Polly and Paul, who are both now fully awake.
"Oh good, you're here." Catherine comes up to us. "Trowa is nearly ready to leave. Before you go I need to take a photograph. Doctor Dalzell said you need a photograph with you, I don't know why."
She arranges Paul, Polly, Chip and I into a photo pose, then pushes some other people into the shot. She takes a photograph and hands it to me. "Here, look after this." She says.
Then I say my goodbyes and Paul helps me into the front of one of the smaller circus vans. I stiffen as Trowa gets up into the cab and turns on the engine.
"Thank you for taking me." I say, as we pull out onto the main road.
"No problem." Trowa replies. "Quatre called around yesterday to say that his sister had just phoned him and had gone into labour, so I'm going to visit them."
"Oh." I say. Too late Trowa realises that the last thing I want to hear is that he is using this trip to visit Quatre. Before he can apologise I interrupt him. "So where are you going?"
"Hospital on 32nd street." Trowa says. "It's just next door to Doctor Dalzell's office, so I'll be nearby."
We are silent for the rest of the journey and let the radio do the talking. After a while Trowa stops the van. "We're here." He says.
My heart leaps. Trowa gets out and opens the door for me. I climb down and take a deep breath. This whole experience is like a nightmare to me. I'm in a strange place, filled with people. It is busy and loud and frightening. I falter as a car beeping its horn startles me. Trowa seems to understand my fear, because he puts his hand on my arm and gently guides me forwards. We don't talk, and for once I wish that Trowa would tell me the truth, but I don't think that he will now.
We enter a building and instantly the noise of the city is blocked out. Soft music is playing in the background as we walk. We climb some stairs until we stop outside a door.
"This is Doctor Dalzell's office." Trowa says to me. He lets go of my arm and I suddenly feel very lonely and vulnerable. I had not realised how much I depended on Trowa for comfort. Instinctively I grab his hand as he turns to leave. I think he is shocked by my sudden action.
"I'm scared." I whisper, tears threatening to prick my eyes.
Trowa squeezes my hand. "Don't be." He says. "Remember that this is just a consultation, you won't be having an operation or anything today."
"But it's so final." I say. "If he tells me that I'm permanently blind then that is it. There will be no more hope."
"There's always hope." Trowa says, taking my other hand in his. "A battle may seem pointless and never ending, but eventually there is an end. There is always hope, you just have to look for it. Quatre says."
The moment has been lost. As soon as Trowa mentions Quatre I pull my hands away from him. I don't want him to take me in again.
"Sienne, Quatre and I are just." Trowa begins quickly, but at the moment the door opens and Doctor Dalzell walks out.
"Ah, there you are. Come along inside then Sienne and we will get started. We should be finished in about an hour or so." He says to Trowa. I don't even get time to say 'See you later' to Trowa because Doctor Dalzell whisks me into his office and sits me down. I hear Trowa walking away as he closes the door. Probably off to see Quatre next door.
"So Sienne, how are you today?" The doctor asks, sitting down opposite me.
"Fine, thank you doctor." I say.
Doctor Dalzell laughs. "Don't be so formal. Just call me Ian. Now we need to run a few tests to determine the exact state of your blindness."
For the next half an hour Ian takes numerous blood samples, tissue samples from my eye and runs a lot of tests involving lights being shone into my eyes. I sit through it all patiently, doing my best to do everything right. Finally Ian sits back and sighs.
"Well, I'm happy to say that there is definitely something I can do." MY heart gives a leap as he says this.
"You mean that you can make me see again?" I ask.
"Yes. By inputting your test results into the computer system we can create a 'recipe', if you like, for an injection. This injection will rebuild the cells at the back of your eye, and you will be able to see again." He says.
I break into a smile and tears pour down my face. "When?" I gasp. "When can I have this injection?"
"Well, the actual formula will take about a month or so to create. However I am in a position to offer you something else. I have an injection that would give you sight for about five minutes, just so you can have an idea of what you will be able to see."
"And you can give me this injection now?" I ask breathlessly.
"Yes, but be aware that the effects will last less than five minutes and then you will return to being blind until I make up the formula."
I can't contain my excitement. "Is that why you wanted me to bring a photograph?" I ask, fishing the photo taken this morning out of my pocket."
"Yes, we often find that people adjust better to having sight again if they have a quick, impermanent taste of it. You will be able to see the photograph of your loved ones." Ian is rolling up the sleeve of my shirt. I wince slightly as the cold needle pierces my flesh. My arm feels numb by the time Ian removes the needle.
"Just relax, you will start seeing things in a minute or so."
I wait, hardly daring to breath. I hold the photograph in front of me shakily. Suddenly light penetrates the blackness. I can see a dim, greenish light. Lots of different colours swim in front of my eyes. I blink again and again. This feels so strange. Slowly things begin to come into focus. I can distinguish the table in front of me, and the floor. As my vision clears I gasp. This is amazing.
"You don't have long left before your vision will fade." Ian warns me. "take a good look at that photograph before it goes."
Holding my breath and trying not to let tears of joy smudge the picture in my hand I look down. I see several faces smiling at me. I see myself first. A short, slender girl with long curly black hair, big brown eyes offset by very dark skin. I look just how I remember my mother. There is Chip sitting on my shoulder. He looks so sweet! A beautiful shade of honey brown adorns his coat and his bright black eyes look to be full of mischief.
Aunt Polly is standing next to me. She looks much older than I remember, but her short blonde hair is still the same. And Uncle Paul looks even more handsome. His face is rounder and he is balding slightly on his head, but he is smiling broadly.
I look hard at the picture. I had no idea that Trowa was in the picture! But there he is, standing just behind me. For the first time my picture of him in my head is confirmed. He looks just as I imagined him. His light brown hair is shining in the sun and his hazel eyes are full of kindness. But he isn't looking at the camera but at me. There seems to be emotion in his eyes. I can not believe how handsome he is. As I stare at him my vision begins to cloud.
I blink furiously, trying to restore my vision. But it is fading fast. I strain my eyes to keep looking at Trowa for as long as possible. As darkness once again fills my world I stoke the photograph longingly with my finger.
"Well?" Ian asks.
I realise that my face is soaked in tears. "That was wonderful." I whisper.
I'm in a daze as Ian arranges an appointment for me to come and receive the proper injection. I'm so lost in my thoughts and emotions that when a huge explosion rocks the building I scream in terror.
BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not the only person sitting by the campfire. A few people are already awake. I'm handed a bowl of porridge and try in vain to gulp some of it down. Eventually I give up and go back to my caravan to get changed. Polly is up by now. She finds me some clothes, talking animatedly as she does in the hope of easing my nerves.
"Here we are." She says, handing my some clothes. "I thought you should wear your smart pink shirt today. And here is your black knee length skirt, you will look very professional."
As I get dressed she talks even more. I can tell that she is as nervous as I am. "There." She says, as she finishes sorting my hair into some kind of order. "You look lovely." Chip jumps onto my shoulder and chatters to me. He doesn't seem to realise what an important day this could be for me.
I climb out of the caravan with Polly and Paul, who are both now fully awake.
"Oh good, you're here." Catherine comes up to us. "Trowa is nearly ready to leave. Before you go I need to take a photograph. Doctor Dalzell said you need a photograph with you, I don't know why."
She arranges Paul, Polly, Chip and I into a photo pose, then pushes some other people into the shot. She takes a photograph and hands it to me. "Here, look after this." She says.
Then I say my goodbyes and Paul helps me into the front of one of the smaller circus vans. I stiffen as Trowa gets up into the cab and turns on the engine.
"Thank you for taking me." I say, as we pull out onto the main road.
"No problem." Trowa replies. "Quatre called around yesterday to say that his sister had just phoned him and had gone into labour, so I'm going to visit them."
"Oh." I say. Too late Trowa realises that the last thing I want to hear is that he is using this trip to visit Quatre. Before he can apologise I interrupt him. "So where are you going?"
"Hospital on 32nd street." Trowa says. "It's just next door to Doctor Dalzell's office, so I'll be nearby."
We are silent for the rest of the journey and let the radio do the talking. After a while Trowa stops the van. "We're here." He says.
My heart leaps. Trowa gets out and opens the door for me. I climb down and take a deep breath. This whole experience is like a nightmare to me. I'm in a strange place, filled with people. It is busy and loud and frightening. I falter as a car beeping its horn startles me. Trowa seems to understand my fear, because he puts his hand on my arm and gently guides me forwards. We don't talk, and for once I wish that Trowa would tell me the truth, but I don't think that he will now.
We enter a building and instantly the noise of the city is blocked out. Soft music is playing in the background as we walk. We climb some stairs until we stop outside a door.
"This is Doctor Dalzell's office." Trowa says to me. He lets go of my arm and I suddenly feel very lonely and vulnerable. I had not realised how much I depended on Trowa for comfort. Instinctively I grab his hand as he turns to leave. I think he is shocked by my sudden action.
"I'm scared." I whisper, tears threatening to prick my eyes.
Trowa squeezes my hand. "Don't be." He says. "Remember that this is just a consultation, you won't be having an operation or anything today."
"But it's so final." I say. "If he tells me that I'm permanently blind then that is it. There will be no more hope."
"There's always hope." Trowa says, taking my other hand in his. "A battle may seem pointless and never ending, but eventually there is an end. There is always hope, you just have to look for it. Quatre says."
The moment has been lost. As soon as Trowa mentions Quatre I pull my hands away from him. I don't want him to take me in again.
"Sienne, Quatre and I are just." Trowa begins quickly, but at the moment the door opens and Doctor Dalzell walks out.
"Ah, there you are. Come along inside then Sienne and we will get started. We should be finished in about an hour or so." He says to Trowa. I don't even get time to say 'See you later' to Trowa because Doctor Dalzell whisks me into his office and sits me down. I hear Trowa walking away as he closes the door. Probably off to see Quatre next door.
"So Sienne, how are you today?" The doctor asks, sitting down opposite me.
"Fine, thank you doctor." I say.
Doctor Dalzell laughs. "Don't be so formal. Just call me Ian. Now we need to run a few tests to determine the exact state of your blindness."
For the next half an hour Ian takes numerous blood samples, tissue samples from my eye and runs a lot of tests involving lights being shone into my eyes. I sit through it all patiently, doing my best to do everything right. Finally Ian sits back and sighs.
"Well, I'm happy to say that there is definitely something I can do." MY heart gives a leap as he says this.
"You mean that you can make me see again?" I ask.
"Yes. By inputting your test results into the computer system we can create a 'recipe', if you like, for an injection. This injection will rebuild the cells at the back of your eye, and you will be able to see again." He says.
I break into a smile and tears pour down my face. "When?" I gasp. "When can I have this injection?"
"Well, the actual formula will take about a month or so to create. However I am in a position to offer you something else. I have an injection that would give you sight for about five minutes, just so you can have an idea of what you will be able to see."
"And you can give me this injection now?" I ask breathlessly.
"Yes, but be aware that the effects will last less than five minutes and then you will return to being blind until I make up the formula."
I can't contain my excitement. "Is that why you wanted me to bring a photograph?" I ask, fishing the photo taken this morning out of my pocket."
"Yes, we often find that people adjust better to having sight again if they have a quick, impermanent taste of it. You will be able to see the photograph of your loved ones." Ian is rolling up the sleeve of my shirt. I wince slightly as the cold needle pierces my flesh. My arm feels numb by the time Ian removes the needle.
"Just relax, you will start seeing things in a minute or so."
I wait, hardly daring to breath. I hold the photograph in front of me shakily. Suddenly light penetrates the blackness. I can see a dim, greenish light. Lots of different colours swim in front of my eyes. I blink again and again. This feels so strange. Slowly things begin to come into focus. I can distinguish the table in front of me, and the floor. As my vision clears I gasp. This is amazing.
"You don't have long left before your vision will fade." Ian warns me. "take a good look at that photograph before it goes."
Holding my breath and trying not to let tears of joy smudge the picture in my hand I look down. I see several faces smiling at me. I see myself first. A short, slender girl with long curly black hair, big brown eyes offset by very dark skin. I look just how I remember my mother. There is Chip sitting on my shoulder. He looks so sweet! A beautiful shade of honey brown adorns his coat and his bright black eyes look to be full of mischief.
Aunt Polly is standing next to me. She looks much older than I remember, but her short blonde hair is still the same. And Uncle Paul looks even more handsome. His face is rounder and he is balding slightly on his head, but he is smiling broadly.
I look hard at the picture. I had no idea that Trowa was in the picture! But there he is, standing just behind me. For the first time my picture of him in my head is confirmed. He looks just as I imagined him. His light brown hair is shining in the sun and his hazel eyes are full of kindness. But he isn't looking at the camera but at me. There seems to be emotion in his eyes. I can not believe how handsome he is. As I stare at him my vision begins to cloud.
I blink furiously, trying to restore my vision. But it is fading fast. I strain my eyes to keep looking at Trowa for as long as possible. As darkness once again fills my world I stoke the photograph longingly with my finger.
"Well?" Ian asks.
I realise that my face is soaked in tears. "That was wonderful." I whisper.
I'm in a daze as Ian arranges an appointment for me to come and receive the proper injection. I'm so lost in my thoughts and emotions that when a huge explosion rocks the building I scream in terror.
BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!