A/N: Here we go. Thanks for all the comments so far!

Day 15 - Blood Is Flowing Where Tears Should Have Been

I'm in the dimly lit, windowless room again tied to the metal chair. The light bulb isn't caged this time, but it's hanging from a long chord. It's swaying back and forth, casting its yellow glow erratically around the room. A man behind me grabs my head back and I'm forced to look into his dark black eyes and his upside down face. His normally grim mouth is shaped like an evil sneer, and I can feel a cold knot of fear forming around my heart.

Jian Xie.

He grins at me, but when he opens his mouth, all I can see are maggots crawling around between his teeth.

I feel the bile starting to build up in my stomach, but just before I feel it in my throat he lets me lower my head. The light bulb swings madly around causing an almost strobe light effect as it casts its shadow about the room.

In front of me now though is Sydney, huddled in the corner, with her arms wrapped around her legs rocking herself back and forth. Her pale face is looking up at the ceiling, but her eyes are closed. Blood is flowing down her face where tears should have been.

I feel the bile boiling in my throat.

I think I'm going to choke on it.

No, no, no…not again…not again, I scream to myself.

She moves her face towards me as if to accuse me because I didn't stop them. But thankfully she doesn't open her eyes. Because I know what is behind them now, nothing. There is nothing there but empty sockets and blood.

I know. I know because I've seen it before…

I scream out loud as Sydney moves her arm towards me and I know that she is going to open her eyes. I don't think I can stand to see it again.

Darkness envelops me and I race towards it and the relief that it promises.

…

I feel myself shivering uncontrollably as consciousness hits me, but thankfully this time I am in full darkness once again. I feel my face upon a warm lap and before I can stop myself I am pushing myself up and running my hands along her.

"Sydney, I'm sorry….I'm so sorry, oh my god, I'm so sorry I couldn't stop them, I didn't even see them doing it, by the time I found out it was just too late, I'm so sorry…" I'm sobbing as my hands find her face and feel her hair but my body is still shivering madly.

"Sark, what's wrong? What are you talking about?"

It's more the calmness in her voice that lets me dare to hope that she's ok, rather than her words…I don't really hear her words. I force myself to bring my hands across her face and across her eyes, and I can still feel her eyeballs under her eyelids. My thoughts are disjointed, but I briefly wonder if it was my eyes that were gouged out of their sockets and that's the reason why I can see nothing but darkness.

I bring my hand up to my face and feel around, but everything feels as it should.

Sydney follows my hand movement with hers and now her hand is also moving across my face. A sob escapes my throat as I picture the image of blood flowing down her face.

"Shhh…" she says gently as she tries to comfort me, but I leave my hand on her face and bring my face forward so that my forehead is leaning on hers.

It's ok. She's fine. It's not my sister all over again.

She's fine.

We stay like that for a few minutes before my body starts to calm down. The shivers still randomly rack my body, but after a few minutes, I am able to sit back and take a deep breath.

"What happened?" she asks me with concern in her voice.

"I…" I want to respond, but I'm not really sure how. It doesn't make any sense. "Did they come and take me away again?"

I can feel her nod and that's when I realize that I still have my hand on her face. Reluctantly I remove my hand and place it on my lap.

It wasn't real. It didn't happen.

"I could have sworn it was real."

"What?" she asks.

So I tell her. The image is so fresh in my mind that I don't think I will ever forget it.

"Why would you hallucinate about me loosing my eyes?"

I want to cry, I feel so unstrung. But I force myself to take a few deep breaths and to try desperately to hold on to the last vestige of the shell that I had built for myself.

My voice sounds far away when I answer her, but I take it as a good sign. "I told you that my family died when I was ten, but really my family was murdered. It was a hit from the local mob because of some shady dealings that my father had. I was playing at a friend's house that day. When I came home, I found my mother dead in the kitchen and my father was gone. There was blood everywhere."

She lets me pause without interrupting me. "But the worst of it was when I found my sister in her bedroom. She was sitting in the corner rocking herself back and forth as blood ran down her face. I cried out to her, and she turned to me and that's when I saw that they had burned out her eyes. They had blinded her so that she couldn't see who they were. It was their form of mercy by letting her live."

I laugh a short, bitter laugh. "She died on the way to the hospital."

I hardly notice the silence as I am trapped reliving the hell from my childhood. I hardly notice that she's taken up my hand and how she's holding it gently.

"I'm sorry," she whispers to me.

We stay like that for some time, sitting on the floor of our prison, her hand holding mine and my head leaning back against the metal wall. She lets me put myself back together as best as I can.

Finally, minutes or hours later, I can string my thoughts together in a somewhat coherent manner. "I haven't thought of that memory in years. For several years after that night, I couldn't remember it at all and then slowly throughout my teens, more and more would come back to me at odd times. I think that is part of the reason why I was so eager to join up when they recruited me. They promised me that I would learn how to control all aspects of myself. They were right. I excelled at the training. I learned how to deal with my family's death and move on from it."

"But they somehow forced you to relieve it now," she says shrewdly.

"Yes." And that's what scares me the most. "They were able to pull up a memory of mine that was buried very deeply. If they keep this up, which I am sure they will, they will be able to pick apart my brain in no time."

I hear her sigh. She rubs the back of my hand gently. "Well relax now, while you can. I will stand guard and make sure they don't come and take you away while you are sleeping."

I know that she's just saying that. There would be little she could do if they decided to come for me again, but I smile just the same. I'm too exhausted to stop myself from liking the idea of trusting her with my sanity and my life.