Yay! My first Guilty Gear fanfic (but not my very first fanfic in general) ^^"...
Anywhoo... This fic is about the Guilty Gear Theater, a theater that produces famous and
treasured plays.... Guilty Gear style!
I do not own Guilty Gear... because if I did, I would have several changes made... And I
am not affiliated with those owners in any which way shape or form...
Anyways... onto the first Guilty Gear Theater Production
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
The following morning, various characters walk into the theater at 6am sharp. And
Jam was nowhere to be found, and Sol was still hanging from the rafters.
"'Bout time you got here," Sol drawled angrily from the rafters. "Let me down now!" Everyone
just stared at him, and no one actually made any movement to save him. Everyone sat (in Sol's
case, hung) around waiting for the arrival of their psychotic director.
Several hours later, at 2pm to be exact, Jam showed up... on the rafters? Jam opened the
door at the end of the rafters, and walked along them towards Sol. "You know, you could have
gone out the door?" Jam taunted. Sol just hung there and glared at her, so she continued.
"Ky and I had the best time last night... havnig dinner, drinking wine... getting it on..." At
the last part of the scentence, Jam could visibly see the rage in Sol's eyes, until Ky
piped up...
"But Jam... we didn't do..." Ky began.
"Shut up bitch!!" Jam cut him off quickly, then gave Sol a sharp kick and watched as he
fell to, and through, the floor. "heh.... stupid Sol..." The rafters suddenly cracked, and Jam
fell too. "KYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! KURADOBERI JAM!!!!!!!!!!" Jam fell off the rafters and onto
Potemkin's head.
Faust floated down from the rafters (no one quite understood how he got up there...) and
examined Potemkin, "His skull has been crushed and Potemkin is dead..."
Everyone cheered loudly, then the rest of the rafters came tumbling down, and magically
gravitated to testament and crushed him too... and everyone cheered more!!!!
[Author's Note: as you can see, I despise Testament and Potemkin with a passion!!]
Jam crawled off of Potemkin, and announced the play that they were putting on... in 1
hour.... -.-"
**********************************
(The theater was full, and the red tattered curtain hung losely on in front of the stage)
*Jam walks out onto the stage*
Jam: Welcome everyone to the Guilty Gear Theater! Today's production is Hamlet! Produced and
directed by yours truly!!!!
*Jam pauses and silence ensues throughout the theatre*
Jam: CHEER OR DIE!!!!!!!!!
*Audience cheers as Jam walks off-stage satisfied*
(The curtain rises and a spotlight appears on a dark stage)
(Hamlet, played by Millia Rage lies in bed)
*Millia wakes up to a large crashing noise*
*Hamlet's father, played by Chipp breaks through the wall*
Chipp: Holy Zen! That wall is thick!
*Millia facepalms*
Millia: Stick to the script dumbass!
Chipp: Didn't read it! :P
Millia: Why the hell not?!
Chipp: I was taking drug... errr..... helping feed the homeless..
*Millia facepalms again and sighs deeply*
Millia: Father! Are you not dead?
Chipp: Do I look like I'm dead? Of course not! And since when did I become your father?
*Millia's hair turns into a noose which wraps itself around Chipp's neck*
Millia: You'll be dead soon if you don't follow the play!
Chipp: aaargkghfjkal...
Millia: What the hell?
Chipp: acccccckkkkkk!!!!
Millia: I want the understudy right now!!!!!!!!
*Millia tosses Chipp into the audience and taps her foot impatiently*
*Hamlet's father, now played by Ky waslk on stage*
Ky: I did not die rightly! I was poisened!
Millia: Gasp!
Ky: I am a ghost.... which technically is not a holy hing, and thus I shouldn't be playing
this role... this role is against my mora....
*Millia is glaring daggers at Ky*
Ky: err.... Your uncle poisoned me and so forth! Away!
*Ky runs through Chipp's hole in the wall, followed by many crashing and painful noises from
backstage*
Millia: *sweatdrop*
Millia: ummm..... To be or not to be? *she is horribly confused now*
Millia:... err.... I must think of a plan to capture my uncle and make him confess!
*Faust floats down on an umbrella*
Faust: I am your alter-ego.... oooooooooooooooooohhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Millia: What the hell is this?!
Faust: You must go back in time and collect dinosaurs.... then go to the future and
get robots.... then use them to make a play that will rat out your evil uncle...
Millia: WHERE IS THIS IN THE SCRIPT?!
Faust: Dooooooo iiiiitttttt!!!!!
*Faust flies away on his umbrella, before being hit by lighting and falling into a crisp
mound of ashes*
*Axl jumps onto the stage*
Axl: I will take you back in time! I am the spirit of Christmas Past!!!!
*Millia uses Lust Shaker on the idiot*
Millia: Fine....
*she grabs onto Axl and goes back in time*
(Narrator, played by Jam)
Jam: YOU DUMBASSES!!!! THIS ISN'T IN THE PLAY!!!... errr.... I mean.... And thus,
Mill... Hamlet went back in time to search for dinosaurs....
*arriving back in time*
Millia: This is soooooo stupid!!!!!
Axl: Look a dinosaur!!!!!
Millia: Gasp!
*They look at the dinosaur which is none other than a tiny plastic toy*
Millia: *facepalms*
*They capture the dinosaur and go all the way forwards in time to get the robot*
*They arrive in the future*
*Millia picks up another little toy and goes back to her time*
Axl: How about a little "thank-you"?
I-No: THANK-YOU!!!! *does LAst Will and Testament on Axl*
Millia: *fake voice* oh no... Axl is dead... whatever. shall. I. do?... Ah screw him!
*Millia returns to the castle to set up the play*
(scene changes to a fabulous dinner banquet where a dinosaur and a robot are doing a
play about a King who is murdered by pouring grape juice into his ear)
Millia: How is that supposed to kill him?
Jam: He was diabetic.... now get on with the play!!!!
*Faust walks on wearing a long flowing white dress*
Faust: No one out-crazies Ophelia!!!!!!!!
*Faust starts dancing around the table*
Faust: Hey nonny nonny with a hey and a ho (I-No pops her head in, but realises that he
wasn't talking about her) and a...
Jam: WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! KURADOBERI JAM!!!!!!!!!! *she sends him flying off the stage
with a well-placed flaming kick of death and/or doom*
Everyone: O.o
Millia: Uncle! I challenge you!! You killed my father!!!!
(Hamlet's Uncle, played by Sol gets up a pulls out the Fire Seal)
Sol: I accept!
*Millia stabs him with her hair, and Sol stabs Millia with the Fire Seal*
Sol: ...
Jam: GOD DAMNIT SOL!!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DIE!!!!
Sol: God? I don't want anything to do with...
Jam: WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! KURADOBERI JAM!!!!!!!!! *she uses 8-ways to die on Sol*
Millia: And thus, I die
*Millia sits on the ground*
(Hamlet's mother, played by I-No looks around)
I-No: ...
I-No: ummm.... err..... *starts playing guitar*
Jam: Psssttt.... You're supposed to be poisoned!
I-No: Oh....
*I-No sits on the ground, still playing her guitar and shouting random whorish phrases like
"Stroke the big tree!"*
Jam: And thus, the play ended... NOW GO HOME!!!!!
*The audience leaves*
Jam: THAT WAS PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!
Jam: WAAAAAHHHH!!!!! KURADOBERI....
I-No: Arigato! *smacks Jam and kills her*
Jam: Ai yi yi.... @.@
I-No: Next time I'm directing!!!!!
Author: And thus I-No became director for tomorrow night's...
I-No: Arigato! *smacks Author and kills*
Author: @.@
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Zappa: Why wasn't I in it?
Author: I don't like you....
S-Ko: I HATE YOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!
Author: I love you S-Ko!
S-Ko: O.o
Author: Let's torture Zappa!
S-Ko: Okay!
*Author waves goodbye to reader while torturing Zappa with S-Ko*
XD
Anywhoo... This fic is about the Guilty Gear Theater, a theater that produces famous and
treasured plays.... Guilty Gear style!
I do not own Guilty Gear... because if I did, I would have several changes made... And I
am not affiliated with those owners in any which way shape or form...
Anyways... onto the first Guilty Gear Theater Production
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
The following morning, various characters walk into the theater at 6am sharp. And
Jam was nowhere to be found, and Sol was still hanging from the rafters.
"'Bout time you got here," Sol drawled angrily from the rafters. "Let me down now!" Everyone
just stared at him, and no one actually made any movement to save him. Everyone sat (in Sol's
case, hung) around waiting for the arrival of their psychotic director.
Several hours later, at 2pm to be exact, Jam showed up... on the rafters? Jam opened the
door at the end of the rafters, and walked along them towards Sol. "You know, you could have
gone out the door?" Jam taunted. Sol just hung there and glared at her, so she continued.
"Ky and I had the best time last night... havnig dinner, drinking wine... getting it on..." At
the last part of the scentence, Jam could visibly see the rage in Sol's eyes, until Ky
piped up...
"But Jam... we didn't do..." Ky began.
"Shut up bitch!!" Jam cut him off quickly, then gave Sol a sharp kick and watched as he
fell to, and through, the floor. "heh.... stupid Sol..." The rafters suddenly cracked, and Jam
fell too. "KYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! KURADOBERI JAM!!!!!!!!!!" Jam fell off the rafters and onto
Potemkin's head.
Faust floated down from the rafters (no one quite understood how he got up there...) and
examined Potemkin, "His skull has been crushed and Potemkin is dead..."
Everyone cheered loudly, then the rest of the rafters came tumbling down, and magically
gravitated to testament and crushed him too... and everyone cheered more!!!!
[Author's Note: as you can see, I despise Testament and Potemkin with a passion!!]
Jam crawled off of Potemkin, and announced the play that they were putting on... in 1
hour.... -.-"
**********************************
(The theater was full, and the red tattered curtain hung losely on in front of the stage)
*Jam walks out onto the stage*
Jam: Welcome everyone to the Guilty Gear Theater! Today's production is Hamlet! Produced and
directed by yours truly!!!!
*Jam pauses and silence ensues throughout the theatre*
Jam: CHEER OR DIE!!!!!!!!!
*Audience cheers as Jam walks off-stage satisfied*
(The curtain rises and a spotlight appears on a dark stage)
(Hamlet, played by Millia Rage lies in bed)
*Millia wakes up to a large crashing noise*
*Hamlet's father, played by Chipp breaks through the wall*
Chipp: Holy Zen! That wall is thick!
*Millia facepalms*
Millia: Stick to the script dumbass!
Chipp: Didn't read it! :P
Millia: Why the hell not?!
Chipp: I was taking drug... errr..... helping feed the homeless..
*Millia facepalms again and sighs deeply*
Millia: Father! Are you not dead?
Chipp: Do I look like I'm dead? Of course not! And since when did I become your father?
*Millia's hair turns into a noose which wraps itself around Chipp's neck*
Millia: You'll be dead soon if you don't follow the play!
Chipp: aaargkghfjkal...
Millia: What the hell?
Chipp: acccccckkkkkk!!!!
Millia: I want the understudy right now!!!!!!!!
*Millia tosses Chipp into the audience and taps her foot impatiently*
*Hamlet's father, now played by Ky waslk on stage*
Ky: I did not die rightly! I was poisened!
Millia: Gasp!
Ky: I am a ghost.... which technically is not a holy hing, and thus I shouldn't be playing
this role... this role is against my mora....
*Millia is glaring daggers at Ky*
Ky: err.... Your uncle poisoned me and so forth! Away!
*Ky runs through Chipp's hole in the wall, followed by many crashing and painful noises from
backstage*
Millia: *sweatdrop*
Millia: ummm..... To be or not to be? *she is horribly confused now*
Millia:... err.... I must think of a plan to capture my uncle and make him confess!
*Faust floats down on an umbrella*
Faust: I am your alter-ego.... oooooooooooooooooohhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Millia: What the hell is this?!
Faust: You must go back in time and collect dinosaurs.... then go to the future and
get robots.... then use them to make a play that will rat out your evil uncle...
Millia: WHERE IS THIS IN THE SCRIPT?!
Faust: Dooooooo iiiiitttttt!!!!!
*Faust flies away on his umbrella, before being hit by lighting and falling into a crisp
mound of ashes*
*Axl jumps onto the stage*
Axl: I will take you back in time! I am the spirit of Christmas Past!!!!
*Millia uses Lust Shaker on the idiot*
Millia: Fine....
*she grabs onto Axl and goes back in time*
(Narrator, played by Jam)
Jam: YOU DUMBASSES!!!! THIS ISN'T IN THE PLAY!!!... errr.... I mean.... And thus,
Mill... Hamlet went back in time to search for dinosaurs....
*arriving back in time*
Millia: This is soooooo stupid!!!!!
Axl: Look a dinosaur!!!!!
Millia: Gasp!
*They look at the dinosaur which is none other than a tiny plastic toy*
Millia: *facepalms*
*They capture the dinosaur and go all the way forwards in time to get the robot*
*They arrive in the future*
*Millia picks up another little toy and goes back to her time*
Axl: How about a little "thank-you"?
I-No: THANK-YOU!!!! *does LAst Will and Testament on Axl*
Millia: *fake voice* oh no... Axl is dead... whatever. shall. I. do?... Ah screw him!
*Millia returns to the castle to set up the play*
(scene changes to a fabulous dinner banquet where a dinosaur and a robot are doing a
play about a King who is murdered by pouring grape juice into his ear)
Millia: How is that supposed to kill him?
Jam: He was diabetic.... now get on with the play!!!!
*Faust walks on wearing a long flowing white dress*
Faust: No one out-crazies Ophelia!!!!!!!!
*Faust starts dancing around the table*
Faust: Hey nonny nonny with a hey and a ho (I-No pops her head in, but realises that he
wasn't talking about her) and a...
Jam: WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! KURADOBERI JAM!!!!!!!!!! *she sends him flying off the stage
with a well-placed flaming kick of death and/or doom*
Everyone: O.o
Millia: Uncle! I challenge you!! You killed my father!!!!
(Hamlet's Uncle, played by Sol gets up a pulls out the Fire Seal)
Sol: I accept!
*Millia stabs him with her hair, and Sol stabs Millia with the Fire Seal*
Sol: ...
Jam: GOD DAMNIT SOL!!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DIE!!!!
Sol: God? I don't want anything to do with...
Jam: WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! KURADOBERI JAM!!!!!!!!! *she uses 8-ways to die on Sol*
Millia: And thus, I die
*Millia sits on the ground*
(Hamlet's mother, played by I-No looks around)
I-No: ...
I-No: ummm.... err..... *starts playing guitar*
Jam: Psssttt.... You're supposed to be poisoned!
I-No: Oh....
*I-No sits on the ground, still playing her guitar and shouting random whorish phrases like
"Stroke the big tree!"*
Jam: And thus, the play ended... NOW GO HOME!!!!!
*The audience leaves*
Jam: THAT WAS PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!
Jam: WAAAAAHHHH!!!!! KURADOBERI....
I-No: Arigato! *smacks Jam and kills her*
Jam: Ai yi yi.... @.@
I-No: Next time I'm directing!!!!!
Author: And thus I-No became director for tomorrow night's...
I-No: Arigato! *smacks Author and kills*
Author: @.@
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Zappa: Why wasn't I in it?
Author: I don't like you....
S-Ko: I HATE YOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!
Author: I love you S-Ko!
S-Ko: O.o
Author: Let's torture Zappa!
S-Ko: Okay!
*Author waves goodbye to reader while torturing Zappa with S-Ko*
XD