Day 16 – A Cruel Choice
Consciousness comes to me slowly today, allowing me to wake up without stirring and thereby not disturbing Sydney. It's hard to think of memories with no sight to associate them with, but I remember falling asleep yesterday with her in my arms.
She had started out being the one that was comforting me by holding my hand gently in hers. But it was wet and rainy last night, and her chattering teeth woke me before the thunder and rocking of the boat did. She had fallen asleep with her head on my shoulder, but it was obvious that the contact was providing minimal warmth to her. So I gently gathered her in my arms and turned her so that she could sleep on my chest with her legs off to the side and my arms wrapped around her.
There's part of me that could get used to waking up like this.
Except for the bone chilling dampness around us.
And her tangled and matted hair that I feel when I try and soothe her head.
And my shattered ankle that still sends shooting pain up my leg when I move it.
And the nightmares that haunt me now.
But then if it wasn't so miserable here would she still have found her way into my arms?
What a cruel choice. Should I wish that this never happened or not?